Drama versus crankiness and grumpiness

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Drama versus crankiness and grumpiness

Postby tummler » Thu Nov 21, 2013 10:12 am

I am interested in hearing from others about drama. How do you recognize or define it? To me, crankiness and grumpiness can be worked through and solved, sometimes relatively easily (e.g., drink some water, take a break, acknowledgment of the emotion, engagement without defensiveness, etc.). Drama is an ongoing pattern of escalation without self-awareness. Any tips for discharging or dealing with others' drama? Any hints for recognizing when one's own self might be dragging the drama suitcase but insists that he or she is just cranky?
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Re: Drama versus crankiness and grumpiness

Postby Simon of the Playa » Thu Nov 21, 2013 10:46 am

"take this pill and shut the fuck up"
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Re: Drama versus crankiness and grumpiness

Postby Princess Peach » Thu Nov 21, 2013 11:29 am

Simon of the Playa wrote:"take this pill and shut the fuck up"

ha! that would be awesome :roll:

seriously though, my approach is to be direct and then walk away or refuse to engage until that person takes some their drama down or finds a way to anchor it to real things. i find that people that have drama are emotionally needy without a healthy outlet. being a constant support to those people and hearing about their never ending, yet exhaustingly redundant "problems" short circuits me, so i just have to bow out.

i do want to add that i have always been direct (like my whole life) but when i was younger, i lacked verbal skills to be tactful. as a grown up, i've sort of honed the skills of delivering bad news directly (not sugar coated) but not being mean about it and people seem very responsive to it. one of the most common (and my favorite) compliments i get from new and old friends is being "refreshingly honest". with that said, not everyone is a huge fan of that approach, as it is quite bold, so if you go with my thing, you have to use your own judgement on whether or not this specific person can handle it.
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Re: Drama versus crankiness and grumpiness

Postby GreyCoyote » Thu Nov 21, 2013 12:43 pm

"Hi! You got voted off the island. We packed your shit and moved it to the edge of camp. Thank you for playing. Have fun and we hope not to see you in the dust" :mrgreen:

Or would that be harsh? :mrgreen:
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Re: Drama versus crankiness and grumpiness

Postby Simon of the Playa » Thu Nov 21, 2013 12:48 pm

"let him speak"


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Re: Drama versus crankiness and grumpiness

Postby theCryptofishist » Thu Nov 21, 2013 1:11 pm

Remember accusations of drama can, and have been, used to shut down people with legitimate complaints, who may be so upset that they cannot articulate things as nicely as you'd like. You can end up killing friendships that way.
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Re: Drama versus crankiness and grumpiness

Postby GreyCoyote » Thu Nov 21, 2013 1:23 pm

I consider myself pretty capable of seeing the difference. More to the point, I dont tend to have friends incapable of expressing themselves without resorting to drama. :mrgreen: If there is a problem, they can communicate that very effectively.

I tend to see drama as habitual and a way to get more attention. If someone in our camp was a drama-queen, it would be a short packing experience because I'd have a LOT of help. We just dont do drama, except by mutual consent, and then, its WONDERFUL. :mrgreen:
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Re: Drama versus crankiness and grumpiness

Postby Lonesomebri » Thu Nov 21, 2013 1:37 pm

I usually take my place as an audience member and enjoy the show. And as Fishy says, half the time I realize I'm on the side of the "troublemaker". If asked to be involved, I just show them that now they are dealing with the crybaby drama equivalent of James Cagney, and crank it up to 11. That, or rewrite part of the script into a dramatic comedy. And sometimes there is no way to get the performance out of an individual that you can accept, That person is who they are and you must set them free from your stage. Like torch their shit.

You have said that they cause drama, are un-aware of their actions...really, what can you do other than take care of your own interaction with that person. Good luck enlightening them, they might enjoy that drama.
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Re: Drama versus crankiness and grumpiness

Postby Captain Goddammit » Thu Nov 21, 2013 6:59 pm

My life experience says when a drama queen (or king) is detected and identified, avoid all contact. You can't fix them, but they can break you!
Or at least ruin good times.
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Re: Drama versus crankiness and grumpiness

Postby BBadger » Thu Nov 21, 2013 8:11 pm

Facilitate self-awareness without accusations of drama.

Perhaps an example of how not to approach the problem (to be clear: the example being my post, not the subject of that post).
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Re: Drama versus crankiness and grumpiness

Postby tamarakay » Thu Nov 21, 2013 8:31 pm

There is a look at me look at me quality to drama. Use of negativity to get and keep attention. The negativity becomes greater than the benefit of what the person has to offer. It doesn't even have to be negativity really. I have an acquaintance that is constantly superior. Any situation, she has done it bigger, better or had it worse, or is always more sick, had that worse etc. draining. Completely draining.

Crankiness fades and the person is most of the time fabulous.
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Re: Drama versus crankiness and grumpiness

Postby GreyCoyote » Thu Nov 21, 2013 9:36 pm

Crankiness gets better with water, while drama gets worse with beer. :mrgreen:
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Re: Drama versus crankiness and grumpiness

Postby Elorrum » Thu Nov 21, 2013 9:50 pm

crankiness apologizes.
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Re: Drama versus crankiness and grumpiness

Postby ygmir » Thu Nov 21, 2013 10:07 pm

Elorrum wrote:crankiness apologizes.


you're forgiven................ :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Drama versus crankiness and grumpiness

Postby Simon of the Playa » Fri Nov 22, 2013 7:27 am

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Re: Drama versus crankiness and grumpiness

Postby ^Rhino! » Fri Nov 22, 2013 8:02 am

Crankiness there may be a reason for.

There's no reasoning behind drama.

Fuck with me before I've had my morning coffee, I'll be making jokes about barbarians who totally lack any kind of politeness. That's just me being cranky.

If you start drama with me, I'll end up trying to get away from it, and I won't be back.
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Re: Drama versus crankiness and grumpiness

Postby lucky420 » Fri Nov 22, 2013 10:13 am

I'm so cranky right now.

In fact I'm feeling downright murderous... :evil:
Oh my god, it's HUGE!
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Re: Drama versus crankiness and grumpiness

Postby ygmir » Fri Nov 22, 2013 11:02 am

lucky420 wrote:I'm so cranky right now.

In fact I'm feeling downright murderous... :evil:


see, that's hard to believe! I'd pay a dollar just to see you that way.........from a distance........ :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
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Re: Drama versus crankiness and grumpiness

Postby lucky420 » Fri Nov 22, 2013 11:31 am

It doesnt last long, but i rant, rave, stomp my foot, cuss and fume... :shock:

and then I take a deep breath and everything is right in the world again.
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Re: Drama versus crankiness and grumpiness

Postby ygmir » Fri Nov 22, 2013 12:28 pm

lucky420 wrote:It doesnt last long, but i rant, rave, stomp my foot, cuss and fume... :shock:

and then I take a deep breath and everything is right in the world again.


gotta be entertaining, though, to see that sweet smile get all pouty, and your kind demeanor pretend to be all mad and stompy and stuff.

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Re: Drama versus crankiness and grumpiness

Postby Roberto Dobbisano » Fri Nov 22, 2013 1:05 pm

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Re: Drama versus crankiness and grumpiness

Postby burner von braun » Fri Nov 22, 2013 3:35 pm

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Re: Drama versus crankiness and grumpiness

Postby Box Burner » Fri Nov 22, 2013 4:24 pm

My youngest sister was raised watching soap operas. Days of our lives, general hospital, as the world turns, etc. She is the sweetest person and does not do drama herself. But she is surrounded by it all the time. She is nice to people and tries to help out everyone. And then they dump on her. But she just keeps on going. She is like a magnet for it though. Whenever it stops and things start looking good more of it shows up. I sometimes think she just needs to have drama around her, like the characters in the soap operas.
Dance in the heart of chaos. . . . .

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Re: Drama versus crankiness and grumpiness

Postby Turtleburp » Fri Nov 22, 2013 4:38 pm

Simon of the Playa wrote:"let him speak"


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Re: Drama versus crankiness and grumpiness

Postby BBadger » Sat Nov 23, 2013 3:18 am

Box Burner wrote:My youngest sister was raised watching soap operas. Days of our lives, general hospital, as the world turns, etc. She is the sweetest person and does not do drama herself. But she is surrounded by it all the time. She is nice to people and tries to help out everyone. And then they dump on her. But she just keeps on going. She is like a magnet for it though. Whenever it stops and things start looking good more of it shows up. I sometimes think she just needs to have drama around her, like the characters in the soap operas.


But what about Passions?

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Re: Drama versus crankiness and grumpiness

Postby goathead » Sat Nov 23, 2013 3:18 am

google it.
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Re: Drama versus crankiness and grumpiness

Postby fernley1 » Sat Nov 23, 2013 2:24 pm

To much drama makes me cranky.
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Re: Drama versus crankiness and grumpiness

Postby Box Burner » Sat Nov 23, 2013 4:49 pm

BBadger wrote:
Box Burner wrote:My youngest sister was raised watching soap operas. Days of our lives, general hospital, as the world turns, etc. She is the sweetest person and does not do drama herself. But she is surrounded by it all the time. She is nice to people and tries to help out everyone. And then they dump on her. But she just keeps on going. She is like a magnet for it though. Whenever it stops and things start looking good more of it shows up. I sometimes think she just needs to have drama around her, like the characters in the soap operas.


But what about Passions?

[media]


I am glad that she never watched that one. Hope her daughter does not find out about it!
Dance in the heart of chaos. . . . .

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Re: Drama versus crankiness and grumpiness

Postby Elorrum » Sat Nov 23, 2013 8:31 pm

ygmir wrote:
lucky420 wrote:It doesnt last long, but i rant, rave, stomp my foot, cuss and fume... :shock:

and then I take a deep breath and everything is right in the world again.


gotta be entertaining, though, to see that sweet smile get all pouty, and your kind demeanor pretend to be all mad and stompy and stuff.

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Women actually can be angry for a damn good reason. Why does it have to be perceived (often) as being moody or petulant?
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Re: Drama versus crankiness and grumpiness

Postby theCryptofishist » Sat Nov 23, 2013 8:32 pm

Thank you, Elorrum.
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