Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Questions, answers, tips & tricks for newbies and veterans alike

Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby Ugly Dougly » Tue Apr 16, 2013 8:18 pm

I habitually dump very large loaves. So much to a degree to which I prefer to visit at public facilities, since they are more likely to have appliances that will handle my legendary leavings. Lord help me, I can't bring myself to clog my own plumbing.
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby maladroit » Tue Apr 16, 2013 10:46 pm

Bring coffee, laxative, cranberry juice, and Immodium. Keep your shit under control, tune your tubes for minimum effective porta-potty time. Robbie Dobbs, we love you, but 11am in a porta-potty is not pleasant no matter how few wet wipes are in the sludge.
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby Turtleburp » Wed Apr 17, 2013 6:24 pm

I asked a bogan Aussie comedian to voice act one last night - even offered to buy 2 DVDs of his bloke song - lets just leave it at I should have tried AFTER the show...

Wrong thread but meh refers to Pottyotron audio
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby theCryptofishist » Wed Apr 17, 2013 6:26 pm

[media]
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby Tiahaar » Thu Apr 18, 2013 2:39 am

theCryptofishist wrote:
Tiahaar wrote:this stuff is wonderful for 'bike butt', works for me where other creams do not relieve/heal the dreaded itch, but a note from the Dr. is needed to buy it
Triamcinolone Acetonide Cream USP 0.1%
Image

That's for fungus. If there are other causes, it won't help.


It is for this:
http://www.imedwell.org/Triamcinolone-Acetonide-Cream.html
The most common uses for triamcinolone acetonide cream are atopic dermatitis, eczema, psoriasis, poison ivy, contact dermatitis, and seborrhea. Any skin condition that is responsive to corticosteroids will benefit from triamcinolone acetonide cream. Doses will be prescribed for short or long term use depending on the nature of the condition. Use will typically be restricted to when your skin is swelling or showing a reaction. The cream may also be used to suppress your immune system when it is overreacting.

Terbinafine, clotrimazole, and ketoconazole are a few examples of common topical antifungal drugs used to treat skin conditions. Triamcinolone acetonide cream does not work on viral, bacterial or fungal infections, and should not be used on areas containing skin infections or sores.
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby BeeWeeDee » Thu Apr 18, 2013 5:20 am

Thanks Cryptofish. Just got my song for the day as I head into a day of endless meetings.
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby Ugly Dougly » Thu Apr 18, 2013 11:06 pm

Poison Ivy?! How did that get in your ass?
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby BBadger » Fri Apr 19, 2013 3:20 am

I've heard of people accidentally using it as toilet paper.
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby lemur » Fri Apr 19, 2013 6:18 am

ADVERTISEMENT!!!

Image

i bring this.. it works very well. no script needed.

plus, if youre so unlucky to have hemmohroids it also provides relief to that


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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby MyDearFriend » Fri Apr 19, 2013 7:34 pm

Okay I am going to say this again: all you need is a tiny spray bottle of vinegar water, and another tiny bottle of edible coconut oil. Keep them in a pocket or belt pouch, and use them on your tender bits every time you use the Blue Room. Air out your parts in the daylight hours. You will be fine. And tasty. 8)
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby lemur » Sat Apr 20, 2013 5:52 am

i aint no fricken hippie. and i dont want to smell like a salad

i use real medicines.. with all the yummie chemicals in em.
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby MyDearFriend » Sat Apr 20, 2013 2:57 pm

I ain't no fricken hippie either 8) Lemur my friend 8) I am a modern medical professional! :P :P :P Do not be throwing your money at those greedy pharmaceutical companies. Do more with less, is what I'm saying, and spend that money on better booze.

PS You smell like a salad anyway, you gluten-free vegan. :shock:

edited for full disclosure: I have no fucking clue about Lemur's eating habits
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby knowmad » Sat Apr 20, 2013 4:35 pm

Lemurs usually have a vegetarian diet, consisting of leaves and fruit, although they will occasional eat insects or smaller animals.
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby BBadger » Sat Apr 20, 2013 6:07 pm

Good anal maintenance is key to good coffee beans.
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby unjonharley » Sat Apr 20, 2013 6:10 pm

BBadger wrote:Good anal maintenance is key to good coffee beans.


Just an other way of telling some one to eat shit....
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby Savannah » Sat Apr 20, 2013 8:25 pm

unjonharley wrote:
BBadger wrote:Good anal maintenance is key to good coffee beans.


Just an other way of telling some one to eat shit....


I remember hearing about that. :shock:

The invitation states: "We wish to pass along this once in a lifetime opportunity to taste such a rarity."

Or, as Bo Bishop put it: "They're selling processed weasel doodoo for $300 a pound."

I first thought this was a clever hoax designed to ridicule the coffee craze. Tragically, it is not. There really is a Luwak coffee. I know because I bought some from a specialty-coffee company in Atlanta. I paid $37.50 for two ounces of beans. I was expecting the beans to look exotic, considering where they'd been, but they looked like regular coffee beans. In fact, for a moment I was afraid that they were just regular beans, and that I was being ripped off.

Then I thought: What kind of world is this when you worry that people might be ripping you off by selling you coffee that was NOT pooped out by a weasel? -- Dave Barry

:lol:
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby Elorrum » Sat Apr 20, 2013 8:40 pm

coffee so nice, it gets digested twice.
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby Turtleburp » Tue Apr 23, 2013 5:23 am

Free range civet only though
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby FIGJAM » Tue Apr 30, 2013 7:26 am

I thought there were already too many dysfunctional assholes at the burn and then this thread comes along! :roll:
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby unjonharley » Tue Apr 30, 2013 7:52 am

FIGJAM wrote:I thought there were already too many dysfunctional assholes at the burn and then this thread comes along! :roll:


it's not always about you.. there are others in this world.
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby FIGJAM » Tue Apr 30, 2013 6:16 pm

You took the bait!

Being in close proximity to a dysfunctional asshole for an extended period of time makes you the expert. 8)

Hope you're all better now. :wink:
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby unjonharley » Tue Apr 30, 2013 6:29 pm

I have an honorary degree in proctology from hanging around the assholes of Eplaya
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby theCryptofishist » Tue Apr 30, 2013 7:50 pm

You're welcome, Dr. unjon.
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby robbidobbs » Sun May 05, 2013 10:02 am

Thanks Corn Man!

Let's go over that again: NO WET WIPES IN THE PORTA POTTIES!
If you enjoy the soft cooling feel of baby wipes on your tush. then bring a ziploc bag (or paper lunch bag for the shy) and pack it out.

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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby Ugly Dougly » Sun May 05, 2013 11:30 am

Yes, there are no public bidets in Black Rock City...

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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby Krokodyle » Sun May 05, 2013 3:44 pm

MyDearFriend wrote:Okay I am going to say this again: all you need is a tiny spray bottle of vinegar water, and another tiny bottle of edible coconut oil. Keep them in a pocket or belt pouch, and use them on your tender bits every time you use the Blue Room. Air out your parts in the daylight hours. You will be fine. And tasty. 8)



I'm totally going to try this.

Tasty? Do I sense a new theme?
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby EspressoDude » Sun May 05, 2013 4:57 pm

vinegar water + bacon wipes?
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby Drawingablank » Sun May 05, 2013 5:46 pm

Turtleburp wrote:Some of this sage advice would make a great potty audio clip!

In 2011 there was a mutant vehicle parked in front of the central ice camp playing a 20 or 30 minute documentary narration about the life cycle of of the butterlies or something like that.

I was thinking how funny it would be if someone with a good narrator voice (which I definitely don't have) did something like that with all the advice on this thread in a serious non joking manner.
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby theCryptofishist » Sun May 05, 2013 7:00 pm

Drawingablank wrote:
Turtleburp wrote:Some of this sage advice would make a great potty audio clip!

In 2011 there was a mutant vehicle parked in front of the central ice camp playing a 20 or 30 minute documentary narration about the life cycle of of the butterlies or something like that.

I was thinking how funny it would be if someone with a good narrator voice (which I definitely don't have) did something like that with all the advice on this thread in a serious non joking manner.

Okay, but we're not getting the honey badger guy.
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Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby Ugly Dougly » Mon May 06, 2013 12:05 am

MyDearFriend wrote:Air out your parts in the daylight hours. You will be fine. And tasty. 8)

This bares repeating, doesn't it?
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