Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Questions, answers, tips & tricks for newbies and veterans alike

Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby lemur » Thu Apr 11, 2013 10:53 pm

Anal Itch.

THERE, I said it.

Maybe you're not familiar with anal itch.. (sometimes known as a BURNING ANUS).

but if youre not the type that does a lot of activity in a burning hot desert with a buncha irritating dust all the time, you wouldnt be the type to be familiar with it, would you?

symptoms of anal itch include:

burning
itching
irritation
soreness
pain


you dont want any of these!

and guess what the problem is?!!?

here are some selected "causes" of anal itch:

stress
constipation
low stomach acid
food irritants
diarrhea
excessive moisture and sweating
chemical irritants



now.. i dont know about you, but if youve never been to burning man.. youll probably notice a lot of people are: sweating their asses off..... drinking out of nasty unclean water bottles.. eating from filthy dishes.. without running water.. and who probably dont want to shit in the blue potty because their ass is too precious.

THIS RECIPE IS AN ANAL ITCH DISASTER.


so... when you go to burning man remember :

-stay hydrated

-eat good food from clean dishes with fiber and substance.

-dont let your ass be all sweaty all day long

-wash yer ass!

-dont get all stressed out, youre on vacation.. people will be there to help

-dont be afraid to take a shit in the blue potty..it feels a lot better when you arent constipated

-bring some anus-friendly cream with aloe in it!
(you might also use this stuff when your fingers and feet get all cracked and bleeding from the playa dust)
Don't link to anything here!
User avatar
lemur
 
Posts: 3599
Joined: Fri Feb 13, 2009 3:07 pm
Location: Madagascar
Camp Name: Plug N Play Camp

Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby Krokodyle » Thu Apr 11, 2013 11:00 pm

Wow...

Just...wow.

But, I have to say, thanks. I would never had considered this.
I can't help it, I'm a born lever-puller.
User avatar
Krokodyle
 
Posts: 130
Joined: Tue Aug 07, 2012 2:51 pm
Burning Since: 2013
Camp Name: (Endorphin) Orphans Too

Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby Turtleburp » Fri Apr 12, 2013 3:34 am

Thanks Dr Lemur

Good advice - my anus remains fine but what about chafed and or itchy bollocks?

Loose, tight underwear? Synthetic or natural?

Do we need photos for an accurate diagnosis?
Amateur shirtcocker

Simon's left sock and cat porn photographer

Image
User avatar
Turtleburp
 
Posts: 522
Joined: Wed Jan 04, 2012 8:52 pm
Location: Melbourne
Burning Since: 2001
Camp Name: Barbie Holiday Village - Soap Supplied!

Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby ygmir » Fri Apr 12, 2013 6:18 am

great post lemur!!
y'know, folks avoid delicate subjects like this, and yet how helpful, for new folks, or even folks who've been but not experienced.
Thank you, good sir!

I've found my spritzing solution (30% rubbing alcohol with water in a spray bottle) is not only a great cooling solution, but, can be a "quick cleanser" for area subject to chafing and or sweating.
A spritz and a towel dry. Not only for myself, but am always willing to help others.
YGMIR

Unabashed Nordic
Pagan
User avatar
ygmir
 
Posts: 25992
Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2007 8:36 pm
Location: nevada county
Burning Since: 2017
Camp Name: qqqq

Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby EspressoDude » Fri Apr 12, 2013 6:25 am

commando, alcohol/cleansing wipes or aloe (with alcohol) after the blue room, baby powder (corn starch not talcum)
Is 4 shots enuff? no foo-foo drinks; just naked Espresso
Tactical Espresso Service http://home.comcast.net/~espressocamp/
Field Artillery Tractor
FOGBANK, GOD OF HELLFIRE
BLACK ROCK f/x Trojan Horse,Anubis,2014Temple
burn shit and blow shit up
User avatar
EspressoDude
 
Posts: 4715
Joined: Tue Jan 24, 2006 8:30 pm
Location: the first Vancouver

Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby VultureChow » Fri Apr 12, 2013 6:30 am

Let me suggest chafing creme or gel if the itchy redness is less about the starfish and more about the cheeks.

Also works great on thunder thighs like mine.
Send lawyers, guns and money - The shit has hit the fan.
User avatar
VultureChow
 
Posts: 1433
Joined: Mon Oct 10, 2011 4:08 pm
Burning Since: 2012
Camp Name: Cougar Camp @ Barbie Death Village

Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby unjonharley » Fri Apr 12, 2013 7:43 am

Grandfather showed me a trick for bike seat rash.. Just corn starch, applied with an old style powder puff. He told me he learned this in the Marines . For those nice 20 mile walks they went on
User avatar
unjonharley
 
Posts: 8808
Joined: Tue Sep 09, 2003 11:05 am
Location: Salem Or.

Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby trilobyte » Fri Apr 12, 2013 7:57 am

Don't forget a closely related condition. Working hard on the playa? Don't let that sweaty crack get out of control, or you'll find yourself with SWAMP ASS
User avatar
trilobyte
Site Admin
 
Posts: 10641
Joined: Tue Mar 02, 2004 11:54 pm
Location: San Francisco
Burning Since: 2004
Camp Name: Eridu Society

Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby PhoenixFemmeFatale » Fri Apr 12, 2013 7:59 am

ygmir wrote:great post lemur!!
y'know, folks avoid delicate subjects like this, and yet how helpful, for new folks, or even folks who've been but not experienced.
Thank you, good sir!

I've found my spritzing solution (30% rubbing alcohol with water in a spray bottle) is not only a great cooling solution, but, can be a "quick cleanser" for area subject to chafing and or sweating.
A spritz and a towel dry. Not only for myself, but am always willing to help others.


OMG! You're TOUGH! Sounds like that would burn like a slingshot into HELL if you're spraying it on tender light lacking areas!

As for the rest of this thred.... TMI! But valuable and informative. My gutter brain won't stop laughing like Beavis and Butthead while I'm reading this tho! :lol:
"I hitched a ride with a vending machine repair man
He says he's been down this road more than twice
He was high on intellectualism
I've never been there but the brochure looks nice"
User avatar
PhoenixFemmeFatale
 
Posts: 123
Joined: Tue Apr 09, 2013 9:00 am
Location: Sahuarita, AZ
Burning Since: 2013

Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby unjonharley » Fri Apr 12, 2013 8:02 am

trilobyte wrote:Don't forget a closely related condition. Working hard on the playa? Don't let that sweaty crack get out of control, or you'll find yourself with SWAMP ASS


LOL, Grandfather uses that expression.
User avatar
unjonharley
 
Posts: 8808
Joined: Tue Sep 09, 2003 11:05 am
Location: Salem Or.

Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby ygmir » Fri Apr 12, 2013 8:17 am

PhoenixFemmeFatale wrote:
ygmir wrote:great post lemur!!
y'know, folks avoid delicate subjects like this, and yet how helpful, for new folks, or even folks who've been but not experienced.
Thank you, good sir!

I've found my spritzing solution (30% rubbing alcohol with water in a spray bottle) is not only a great cooling solution, but, can be a "quick cleanser" for area subject to chafing and or sweating.
A spritz and a towel dry. Not only for myself, but am always willing to help others.


OMG! You're TOUGH! Sounds like that would burn like a slingshot into HELL if you're spraying it on tender light lacking areas!

As for the rest of this thred.... TMI! But valuable and informative. My gutter brain won't stop laughing like Beavis and Butthead while I'm reading this tho! :lol:


well, I do have a pretty high pain threshold. But, at 1/3 rubbing (70%) alcohol to water, really not
so strong.
YGMIR

Unabashed Nordic
Pagan
User avatar
ygmir
 
Posts: 25992
Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2007 8:36 pm
Location: nevada county
Burning Since: 2017
Camp Name: qqqq

Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby unjonharley » Fri Apr 12, 2013 8:38 am

ygmir wrote:

As for the rest of this thred.... TMI! But valuable and informative. My gutter brain won't stop laughing like Beavis and Butthead while I'm reading this tho! :lol:


well, I do have a pretty high pain threshold. But, at 1/3 rubbing (70%) alcohol to water, really not
so strong.[/quote]

And I say "up'a you ass"
User avatar
unjonharley
 
Posts: 8808
Joined: Tue Sep 09, 2003 11:05 am
Location: Salem Or.

Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby BBadger » Fri Apr 12, 2013 8:40 am

Remember that your anus is going to be itching a bit if you rip some fissures in the rectum due to hard turds. Nothing worse than seeing a red stripe on that long turd you shat out! The best solution to this is to ensure you eat right and have all the vitamins to keep your shit smooth. My most important weapon against hard shit (besides water and vegis/fruit) is magnesium supplements. I've found that the regular magnesium oxide work best for this because it doesn't absorb quite as well as the chelated variety. In other words, it helps soften your stool instead of just helping your body through minerals.

Oh and aside from softening your shit, magnesium is great for combating cramps! Say you're pedaling all night and then decide to walk around in the cold. Your muscles are going to feel like shit! That mag helps loosen your muscles and sleep better at night too! Add that shit to your bag next time!
"The essence of tyranny is not iron law. It is capricious law." -- Christopher Hitchens

Hate reading my replies? Click here to add me to your plonk (foe) list.
User avatar
BBadger
 
Posts: 3966
Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2011 11:37 am
Location: (near) Portland, OR, USA
Burning Since: I'm not sure

Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby BeeWeeDee » Fri Apr 12, 2013 9:16 am

I would speculate that enough playa dust is ingested to get all the magnesium you would need in your diet. If not, a little extra playa supplement would probably do the trick.
"If you embrace change you'll love it forever." - Ratty
User avatar
BeeWeeDee
 
Posts: 157
Joined: Wed Oct 10, 2012 7:57 pm
Location: rural wyoming
Burning Since: 2012

Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby unjonharley » Fri Apr 12, 2013 9:25 am

Now now.. Don't try to out do the Badger.. He knows his ass holes.. Being one and all..
User avatar
unjonharley
 
Posts: 8808
Joined: Tue Sep 09, 2003 11:05 am
Location: Salem Or.

Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby BBadger » Fri Apr 12, 2013 9:31 am

Hey! :o
"The essence of tyranny is not iron law. It is capricious law." -- Christopher Hitchens

Hate reading my replies? Click here to add me to your plonk (foe) list.
User avatar
BBadger
 
Posts: 3966
Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2011 11:37 am
Location: (near) Portland, OR, USA
Burning Since: I'm not sure

Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby Asquared » Fri Apr 12, 2013 9:54 am

:shock:

that is exactly how i would look after spraying (any amount of) rubbing alcohol on an itchy, irritated ass! OUCH!
"Settle down you two and play nice - or no dubstep for either." mdmf007
"Just look for camp 'Bad Mother Fucker' and ask for Jules." Supafly_fresh
User avatar
Asquared
 
Posts: 218
Joined: Thu Feb 21, 2013 10:40 am
Location: DTLA
Burning Since: 2013

Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby PhoenixFemmeFatale » Fri Apr 12, 2013 11:20 am

Asquared wrote::shock:

that is exactly how i would look after spraying (any amount of) rubbing alcohol on an itchy, irritated ass! OUCH!


My thoughts exactly! HA!
"I hitched a ride with a vending machine repair man
He says he's been down this road more than twice
He was high on intellectualism
I've never been there but the brochure looks nice"
User avatar
PhoenixFemmeFatale
 
Posts: 123
Joined: Tue Apr 09, 2013 9:00 am
Location: Sahuarita, AZ
Burning Since: 2013

Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby Savannah » Fri Apr 12, 2013 11:25 am

EspressoDude wrote:commando, alcohol/cleansing wipes or aloe (with alcohol) after the blue room, baby powder (corn starch not talcum)


Agreed, cornstarch baby powder is a wonderful thing. I bring travel-size extras every year.



. . . Great thread, lemur. :lol:
*** 2013 Survival Guide ***

"I must've lost it when I was twerking at the trash fence." -- BBadger

"Snark away, ePlaya, you magnificent bastards." -- McStrangle
User avatar
Savannah
Moderator
 
Posts: 10525
Joined: Mon Sep 01, 2008 8:33 pm
Burning Since: 2000

Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby VultureChow » Fri Apr 12, 2013 11:27 am

And I think the alcohol would hurt rather than help. It might clean the area, but it kills off exposed cells and dries out the skin. So if you have an open rash or chafing, the alcohol would kill off new skin growth. The reason why, after the burn, wounds or rashes may feel better is that you're killing off exposed nerve cells. Alcohol makes a wound heal slower than just keeping it clean and moist behind a bandage.

However, internal application of alcohol makes everything better.
Send lawyers, guns and money - The shit has hit the fan.
User avatar
VultureChow
 
Posts: 1433
Joined: Mon Oct 10, 2011 4:08 pm
Burning Since: 2012
Camp Name: Cougar Camp @ Barbie Death Village

Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby unjonharley » Fri Apr 12, 2013 11:28 am

after six kids, we hate the odor of baby powder.. I buy corn starch from the bulk bins..
User avatar
unjonharley
 
Posts: 8808
Joined: Tue Sep 09, 2003 11:05 am
Location: Salem Or.

Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby ygmir » Fri Apr 12, 2013 11:53 am

next thing you're going to tell me is to not use the 7% horse iodine I use as disinfectant .........now yeah, that burns, and with tender skin, takes a layer right off! But, I've not had an injury treated with it, get infected......yet........
YGMIR

Unabashed Nordic
Pagan
User avatar
ygmir
 
Posts: 25992
Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2007 8:36 pm
Location: nevada county
Burning Since: 2017
Camp Name: qqqq

Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby Turtleburp » Fri Apr 12, 2013 3:23 pm

Yggy! Pissed myself [eng. trans. laughing very hard not I repeat not angry :wink: ] reading those comments!

There is a nice talc and cornstarch product made in the US called Curash I plan to get some more while over.

With you on the Magnesium too - anyone else taking long term Proton pump inhibitors for chronic heartburn it is a must!

However for the perfect stool and the smoothest feel, its chef Boyardee for every meal!
Amateur shirtcocker

Simon's left sock and cat porn photographer

Image
User avatar
Turtleburp
 
Posts: 522
Joined: Wed Jan 04, 2012 8:52 pm
Location: Melbourne
Burning Since: 2001
Camp Name: Barbie Holiday Village - Soap Supplied!

Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby Turtleburp » Fri Apr 12, 2013 3:24 pm

VultureChow wrote:And I think the alcohol would hurt rather than help. It might clean the area, but it kills off exposed cells and dries out the skin. So if you have an open rash or chafing, the alcohol would kill off new skin growth. The reason why, after the burn, wounds or rashes may feel better is that you're killing off exposed nerve cells. Alcohol makes a wound heal slower than just keeping it clean and moist behind a bandage.

However, internal application of alcohol makes everything better.


Especially medical grade martini!
Amateur shirtcocker

Simon's left sock and cat porn photographer

Image
User avatar
Turtleburp
 
Posts: 522
Joined: Wed Jan 04, 2012 8:52 pm
Location: Melbourne
Burning Since: 2001
Camp Name: Barbie Holiday Village - Soap Supplied!

Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby knowmad » Fri Apr 12, 2013 3:41 pm

ah Alcohol as a reward for getting injured. brilliant!
............................................Image...........................................
Oh yeah, this year I was totally twerping out at the fence. ~Lonesombri
User avatar
knowmad
 
Posts: 3304
Joined: Fri Dec 25, 2009 11:33 pm
Location: Puget Sound
Burning Since: 2009
Camp Name: 09-11 Specialist Clan
12 BWS BDV/DPB

Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby Boijoy » Fri Apr 12, 2013 4:05 pm

a lillte Monkey Butt powder down the crack & under the boobs does WONDERS! hummmm that might make a good gift. a powdering station. :)
don't forget to floss
User avatar
Boijoy
 
Posts: 1443
Joined: Wed Aug 23, 2006 4:51 pm
Location: Metro Mart. 4:30 Plaza
Burning Since: 2006
Camp Name: Metro Mart

Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby ygmir » Fri Apr 12, 2013 5:06 pm

Boijoy wrote:a lillte Monkey Butt powder down the crack & under the boobs does WONDERS! hummmm that might make a good gift. a powdering station. :)



*volunteer helper*
Image
YGMIR

Unabashed Nordic
Pagan
User avatar
ygmir
 
Posts: 25992
Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2007 8:36 pm
Location: nevada county
Burning Since: 2017
Camp Name: qqqq

Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby CornMan » Fri Apr 12, 2013 8:16 pm

Not being allowed to put wet wipes in the porta potties does present a challenge for cleanup after business. Bring your water bottle in with you, and wet a generous wad of toilet paper to serve for mop-up duty between wipes with dry paper. Will the Hiney Hygiene Station be returning for 2013? They might have some handy tips.

An interesting read:
http://ucvlog.com/2011/06/29/from-corncobs-to-charmin-the-history-of-toilet-paper/
The camp with a difference
Never mind the weather
When you camp with Plug & Ply
Your holiday's forever
User avatar
CornMan
 
Posts: 882
Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2011 5:40 pm

Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby unjonharley » Sat Apr 13, 2013 7:23 am

As for cleaning your rear in the port a pots.. Just be lucky for the one ply TP.. It could be one corn cob on a string.
User avatar
unjonharley
 
Posts: 8808
Joined: Tue Sep 09, 2003 11:05 am
Location: Salem Or.

Re: Avoid Anal Itch at Burning Man: A newcomers guide

Postby BBadger » Sat Apr 13, 2013 2:32 pm

Turtleburp wrote:However for the perfect stool and the smoothest feel, its chef Boyardee for every meal!


Gives new meaning to "Thank goodness for Chef Boyardee!"

On another note, bring some Neosporin (or whatever generic brand you like) and dab some over your suffering orifice. It's a nice medicating balm, and keeps things from drying out and cracking due to movement. Also good for cuts in general.
"The essence of tyranny is not iron law. It is capricious law." -- Christopher Hitchens

Hate reading my replies? Click here to add me to your plonk (foe) list.
User avatar
BBadger
 
Posts: 3966
Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2011 11:37 am
Location: (near) Portland, OR, USA
Burning Since: I'm not sure

Next

Return to Q & A Tips and Tricks

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot], Ulisse and 2 guests