Thoughts?

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Thoughts?

Postby Smenkare » Fri Mar 22, 2013 1:21 am

So for some reason my social media feed was filled with Sexual Harassment stuff today, like Bikram Yoga getting sued...again, women traveling alone in Idia jumping oit windos so not to get raped and ... oh ya, a FUCK YOU CREEPER poem about revenge porn over facebook and social media. What the fucking fuck? Maybe i was just pissed off but it got me thinkin on stuff i kind of take for granted as normal internet creepers just being dildos, but every time it gets into burner territory i go frothy rabid badger eating chihuahua because burning man is my safety dance.

So i pmd the burner that posted it, turns out she's part of my regionals and I met the guy like a year ago at the Seattle Burner potluck. Turns out I think she should tell the community who he is cause it don't mean shit comming from me.

But ladies what are your thoughts?
If some dingleberry you had sex with took a pik of your face sucking his piipii and then sent it out to randoms you might run into at a secomp or critical, would you want that? Would you like to tell him to both his faces how you feel when a guy does that shit? Would you out him for beening a skeez and black list him from parties? Events?
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Re: Thoughts?

Postby lemur » Fri Mar 22, 2013 1:33 am

males also need to worry about people photographing them sucking someones penis.


i find your not noticing this highly offensive.
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Re: Thoughts?

Postby Smenkare » Fri Mar 22, 2013 1:43 am

lemur wrote:males also need to worry about people photographing them sucking someones penis.


i find your not noticing this highly offensive.

I am sorry i did not mention it. Thank you for adding it to the mix.

Seeing how the revenge porn in this case was targeted at a woman, and as I am a woman, i don't feel comfortable speaking for men who may be targeted in this way.

Thanks for speaking up for them when i failed to.
Edit: the question still stands. Should a creepee be outed for this kind of behavior.
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Re: Thoughts?

Postby Simon of the Playa » Fri Mar 22, 2013 5:14 am

proper english would go a long way in furthering your point, or getting a response.

just a thought.
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Re: Thoughts?

Postby lucky420 » Sat Mar 23, 2013 4:24 pm

Did this person know they were having their pic taken?

If so and it had been me i would've made the person delete the pic and if he refused? I'd break his fuckin camera/phone. I'd do it, I really would
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Re: Thoughts?

Postby junglesmacks » Sat Mar 23, 2013 4:36 pm

Show us your tits. Best form of revenge porn ever.
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Re: Thoughts?

Postby Smenkare » Sat Mar 23, 2013 7:44 pm

What happened was there was a girl in the WA burner network who turned him down for sex, so he started porn bombing her with dick pics and then this BJ one in unlabled emails. So the revenge porn thing was 2 sided. He's degrading 2 women, the one who turnes him down for sex and the one who didn't.

I don't know if she knows her picture was taken. I haven't seen the picture, but the girl who it was sent to says the woman in it isn't looking at the camera so it's *possible*

The girl who recieved the porn bomb said she's going to try and find this girl in the picture, privately, and tell her what happened BC she may NOT know he photographed her.
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Re: Thoughts?

Postby Simon of the Playa » Sun Mar 24, 2013 6:43 am

stupidest thread,


ever.
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Re: Thoughts?

Postby Roberto Dobbisano » Sun Mar 24, 2013 6:44 am

well, i suppose thats fair, he did ask for your thoughts.
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Re: Thoughts?

Postby Smenkare » Sun Mar 24, 2013 1:42 pm

Ok, So Simon thinks its stupid to call out douschebags in our midst, I guess. Are we supposed to be radically inclusive of their creeper behavior and good-old-boy BS? To hell with that, this dude should be banned from parties and events because he likes to sexually blackmail women in our community and then tries to get them fired or otherwise publicly emembarrass them when they refuse his sexual advances. LEMUR brought up a good point. If the picture had been of a man instead if a woman giving a BJ it could have seriously impacted his life too, so don't devalue my concerns because its women involved, porn bombing of men happens too and IMO is just as shitty. Porn bombing someone to publicly embarrass them is super shitty, it shouldn't matter if the recipient or the person who's face in the picture was a man or a woman, the dude sent it maliciously.

I got porn bombed in HS by one of my fellow students (i'm pretty sure) who sent the pictures from some ghost account. My school had a NO PORNOGRAPHIC CONTENT policy so I got in big trouble. So ya, this shit pisses me off. The person who porn bombed me never got in trouble and I had a crappy enough time being a LGBT student, and "a red" in HS, this was just one of the ways people liked to harass me. So no Simon, it's not stupid to want to say to someone who sexually or racially harasses people "Stop it." And then calling them out when they don't. Trying to convince people it's not stupid is proving really hard though.
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Re: Thoughts?

Postby Simon of the Playa » Sun Mar 24, 2013 2:14 pm

i have not been able to determine exactly what occurred based on your use of slang and colloquialism, however, if its that much of an issue i would contact your local authorities, and not air unsubstantiated charges(?) on a public forum without first explaining yourself, what occurred, and what are the consequences for any parties involved if you are wrong.

if you have evidence, take it to someone who can do something.


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Re: Thoughts?

Postby lemur » Sun Mar 24, 2013 3:09 pm

THIS ASSHOLE GUY PUBLICLY SHAMED THIS PERSON WHO I LIKE.. AND THATS WRONG.


LETS PUBLICLY SHAME HIM!
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Re: Thoughts?

Postby Smenkare » Sun Mar 24, 2013 4:54 pm

I can't do anything, that's the problem. If Person A gets beat up in a bar fight, person B can't go press assault charges on person A's behalf. She said she afraid of the backlash that will come from outing this guy because he's so popular. He fucking publicly shamed her because she said she wouldn't have sex with him. Since when is saying NO a crime? Since when is refusal of sexual contact with a person justification to try and ruin their work life? In fucking Pakistan women have acid thrown in their faces when they decline sex. Porn bombing may seem small potatoes by comparison, but it comes from the same spiteful place. She refused him sexually. He had to get back at her.

Fight fire with fucking fire. If he thinks it's fine to try and get one girl fired because she won't fuck him and publicly shame the girl he took the picture because to him she's nothing more than a fuck-trophy, then he gets to wear the creeper dunce cap and go sit in the corner while the rest of us eat cake. When he's ready to stop being an asshole he can come out of the corner and rejoin the party. Fuck him and fuck what he did (and still does.) Maybe he'll think twice next time, and maybe the other assholes that do this shit will too if he's made an example of. His bad actions should have consequences more than just a whisper because it's not like he didn't know what he was doing was wrong. He doesn't give half a shit about his victims, don't shred me because I give a damn about my community, it's your community too.

I wanted to see for myself what the reaction would be, and since most of the responses have been snide and dismissive, I can see why she doesn't want to speak out publicly. He's a popular guy. If people are this snarky when they don't know who he is, I can only imagine the hate that would be flooding her way if she called him out on his creeper status. He's damn fucking lucky he didn't porn bomb me. I'd see if I could sue his ass for sexual harassment and I'd publicly out him on every Pac NW burner network forum I belong to from Portland to Anchorage and post his email string (without the porno pics) on his facebook wall. I'd deny him entrance if I was working gate at an event and if he protested I'd tell him very loudly that we have a NO SEXUAL BLACKMAILERS policy.

Edit: And thank you for the constructive advice, Simon, I'll pass that along.
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Re: Thoughts?

Postby CapSmashy » Sun Mar 24, 2013 5:15 pm

Simon of the Playa wrote:i have not been able to determine exactly what occurred based on your use of slang and colloquialism, however, if its that much of an issue i would contact your local authorities, and not air unsubstantiated charges(?) on a public forum without first explaining yourself, what occurred, and what are the consequences for any parties involved if you are wrong.

if you have evidence, take it to someone who can do something.


you asked, i answered.


Exactly this. Sending unsolicited obscene material is potentially a criminal act.

If she will not report it, there is not much you can for her. Also, I would question the intent of someone not willing to report something like this if it is as graphic and over the top as you have posted here. Some people thrive on the drama that a situation like this can provide for them, make sure you are not getting sucked into her drama festival.
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Re: Thoughts?

Postby some seeing eye » Sun Mar 24, 2013 5:40 pm

Unfortunately much bad behavior is hidden. And in the burner culture or strongly identified subcultures, people can refuse to believe the cool kids might do something bad. Seen that. So my only suggestion is to have the close friends of the individual with the direct experience support her in any way she is willing to accept, but don't let them give up too soon.
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Re: Thoughts?

Postby lemur » Sun Mar 24, 2013 5:52 pm

DONGLEGATE.
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Postby lemur » Sun Mar 24, 2013 6:02 pm

Image

Image

WIKIE PEDIA!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Relational_aggression


Image

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Re: Thoughts?

Postby knowmad » Sun Mar 24, 2013 6:09 pm

Thoughts?
A) Shit or get off the pot.
I don't think you really need our input, and we definitely don't need to be told some passive aggressive trite shite about having "hardened feelings" about the situation. You brought the turd, don't ask us if we think it stinks.
B) See something Do Something.
Prove your burnieness by being Self Reliant. Get the attention of those directly involved and take action. Don't tell us what you think, or want to do. Get off your ass and do something (and no. posting here doesn't count)!
C) and my final thought on the matter. I hope that I am ever in a situation where I am reliant on someone who either thinks they can not, or chooses not to take action for me when I can't for my self.
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Re: Thoughts?

Postby MyDearFriend » Sun Mar 24, 2013 6:26 pm

OP, I hear your pain but I think Cap Smashy & Knowmad have pretty much nailed it.

One thing I feel I need to say, though, is that this kind of thinking:

Smenkare wrote: burning man is my safety dance.


is not too smart. There are douchebags and creepy weirdos in BRC. Maybe not as many as we are used to, but they are there. Fortunately if you

SPEAK THE FUCK UP WHEN BAD SHIT STARTS HAPPENING, people will help you immediately.

Just keep your antennae out and go with your gut. It's better to be briefly embarrassed than seriously hurt.
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Re: Thoughts?

Postby theCryptofishist » Sun Mar 24, 2013 7:37 pm

I know someone who was raped at burningman. At the trial, he tried to claim that rape at burningman was not possible, because, well, it's burningman. Luckily, that didn't fly at the trial or at its rehearing.
The situation in this country in regards to rape is horrendous. All that concern a week ago about those poor little high school football rapists who had their lived ruined and didn't get no football scholarships because they lost that trial. My heart, as you can imagine, fucking bleeds for them. When you consider what happened to the girl...
Anyway:
Sexual blackmail is never ok.
Taking and sharing of sexual pictures without freely given consent is never ok.
Sadly, I do not have an answer for you, Smenkare. This is one idea, that doesn't really address the particular situation, but might lay groundwork for the future. B.E.D. might work for that, too.

As for you--people I'd like to call clowns, but too many of you are my friends--I have a hard time seeing some of you not resorting to vigilanteism if the victim was an intimate of yours. Twee spelling is, indeed, a crime, but a misdemeanor, not something that exiles you from all others from them on.--Right now, I don't have anything more to say. I'm having trouble with all the complicated emotions pouring out of me.
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Re: Thoughts?

Postby lemur » Sun Mar 24, 2013 8:02 pm

"YEAH.. HE POSTED A PICTURE OF YOU SUCKING HIS DICK....... BUT AT LEAST WE MADE A FOOL OF HIM ON THAT FORUM!! AND MADE A BIG STINK AT THE ENTRY GATE! THATLL SHOW HIM WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MESS WITH US"



how does revenge promote healing ?
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Re: Thoughts?

Postby lucky420 » Sun Mar 24, 2013 8:23 pm

1000+ fishy
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Re: Thoughts?

Postby lemur » Sun Mar 24, 2013 8:35 pm

for me the question seems to be..

"people shouldnt trust this guy... how can we/should we let them know he is a creep!.. this must be avenged."

it should be something like:

"this guy might hurt someone else... how can we communicate the harm that this caused in an effective way.. hopefully stopping him from doing it again."

one looks sort of like this:

Image

Image

Image


the other sort of like this:

Image

Image

Image

Image



i kind of forget which one of those we have left in the past
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Re: Thoughts?

Postby theCryptofishist » Sun Mar 24, 2013 8:46 pm

You are right, Lemur. I wish you'd put it so clearly earlier; I'm sorry I didn't get it the first time.

Thank you, lucky.
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Re: Thoughts?

Postby BBadger » Sun Mar 24, 2013 9:33 pm

Holy shit the OP's story is confusing. It reads like one of those Seinfeld or ER episodes where the events in the episode are actually chronologically reversed.
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Re: Thoughts?

Postby knowmad » Sun Mar 24, 2013 11:03 pm

BBadger wrote:Holy shit the OP's story is confusing. It reads like one of those Seinfeld or ER episodes where the events in the episode are actually chronologically reversed.

It's just how women in their tweentys speak.
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Re: Thoughts?

Postby CapSmashy » Sun Mar 24, 2013 11:44 pm

knowmad wrote:It's just how women in their tweentys speak.


I weep for our future...
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Re: Thoughts?

Postby BBadger » Mon Mar 25, 2013 12:35 am

knowmad wrote:
BBadger wrote:Holy shit the OP's story is confusing. It reads like one of those Seinfeld or ER episodes where the events in the episode are actually chronologically reversed.

It's just how women in their tweentys speak.


I really should've guessed after reading that "porn bomb" term.




Back in my day, the only "porn bomb" we... okay I'll shut up now.
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Re: Thoughts?

Postby Simon of the Playa » Mon Mar 25, 2013 6:28 am

the cry for help did not go un-noticed or unheeded.

i am unsure of what exactly occurred, still, and i think i'm pretty good at reading between the lines.

if something illegal has occurred contact the authorities immediately, fuck all of the so called repercussions, if these assholes come after you, let the community know and even the cool kids will have no where to hide.

we have your back, but you must take the first step and do something, possibly talk to a lawyer friend before contacting the LEOs.

i apologize if i come off as the asshole who slaps the crying girl, i did not know the OP was a female, i assumed it was a male.

sorry for my somewhat dated sense of gender bias.

it is what it is.
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Re: Thoughts?

Postby Roberto Dobbisano » Mon Mar 25, 2013 6:35 am

so you treat women and men differently?
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