Welcome Evan! Being scared is a normal emotion, so no worries. At the same time, you may have a point in "needing" to go -- if that is how you feel.
But actually, I'm thinking it is more a matter of whether BM is a "right" activity for you. Heaven knows it is not for everyone. If you have been reading and hearing and developing a strong desire to participate over several years, then you may be ready.
Read The Survival Guide and other first-timer information on the main web site. At least twice. Sign up for the e-mail newsletter Jack Rabbit Speaks.
Chat with us here on the board. We have a vicious sense of humor, and we tend to come down hard on those who present themselves as fools. Otherwise we are actually nice people. Even if I keep correcting people's English.