Show Us Your Cults!

Cargo Cult - Who is John Frum? He is known to us by many names, this Visitor from Elsewhere, dispenser of endless abundance and wielder of mysterious technologies: John Frum, Quetzalcoatl, Osiris, "Bob." His cargo is splendid, his generosity boundless, his motives beyond our understanding. But across the ages and around the world, the stories all agree: one day he will return, bearing great gifts. Our theme this year asks three related questions; who is John Frum, where is he really from, and where, on spaceship Earth, are we all going?

Show Us Your Cults!

Postby trilobyte » Sat Dec 01, 2012 3:49 pm

There's been a lot of riffing and joking in other threads about different ideas for groups and cults worshipping various things, but sometimes those great (and hilarious) ideas get lost in those other conversations. So, share them here, along with your pics and videos.

Remember, if you've got a great idea for one… WORK IT! Burning Man is looking for a few good altars, flesh out your ideas and get your grant/project proposals put together...

Larry Harvey & Stuart Mangrum wrote:We feel sure our theme will attract many alien Visitors, and hope this will stimulate our planet's faltering economy. To that end, we invite artists to create altars that may be placed in the vicinity of Burning Man's pavilion. These installations should be portable and easily removable from our burn circle. Participants are encouraged to contribute propitiatory offerings to these Space Age shrines. Artists are also invited to propose homemade interactive technology that may be installed on our saucer's upper Flight Deck (consult our online Art Guidelines for details).

I'll start with something I've said elsewhere… I want to see a Cargo Pants Cult! An altar to accept offerings of cargo pants (or maybe to decorate the cargo pants of participants who come with unadorned pants). Praise the many pockets, preach against empty pockets (wasting precious space) or worshipping false garments. Of course, there's bound to be offshoots and competing cults… like the Cargo Shorts Adventists or the Kilt Kult. Fun on a bun!

Your turn… go!
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Re: Show Us Your Cults!

Postby Simon of the Playa » Sat Dec 01, 2012 3:58 pm

this one is already well established, and quite mainstream...



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Re: Show Us Your Cults!

Postby ygmir » Sat Dec 01, 2012 4:05 pm

so,I'd be a "culttourist", would I be given a little boat?
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Re: Show Us Your Cults!

Postby maladroit » Sat Dec 01, 2012 4:25 pm

How about a bunch of snail-shell backpacks and headbands with snail eyes? They could be an escargot cult.
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Re: Show Us Your Cults!

Postby Roberto Dobbisano » Sat Dec 01, 2012 4:42 pm

"does the name charles manson mean anything to you?"

"no, no no....these are good people"...


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Re: Show Us Your Cults!

Postby unjonharley » Sat Dec 01, 2012 4:50 pm

A few years back, The Santa Red Rampage in Portland.. Rampaged through the finest hotel in down town Portland..The doorman held the door for about 100 Santa.. In the center of the lobby the ceiling is open a few stories.. There was this huge three story Xmas tree. All the Santa fell to there knees and worshiped the tree..Then we all beat feet out of there to a strip club.. Stopping traffic and getting hugs from nice ladies. The police are always on the rampage but the Santa are on the move..Some time in different direction from the main body. Hell of a lot of funny.
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Re: Show Us Your Cults!

Postby BBadger » Sat Dec 01, 2012 5:07 pm

- The cult of the Unibrow Polygamist Wives

unibrowwife.jpg
unibrowwife.jpg (19.93 KiB) Viewed 2403 times


- The cult of people who think they're cultured by mispronouncing words like "culture" without the "tʃ" ("ch") sound.
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Re: Show Us Your Cults!

Postby FIGJAM » Sat Dec 01, 2012 5:28 pm

IN THE NEWS..........

The Flying Spaghetti Monster cult was fine untill, at one of thier local get togethers, someone pondered what type of sauce was FSM covered with.

About half said "Marinara of course!"

To which the other half replied "Are you out of your minds! Tomatoes are deadly! Did'nt you see that movie? It's got to be Alfedo!!!"

Spoons and forks flashed through the night till everyone got tired and went home.

The head of the "Mars" faction stated "We just assumed everyone was on the same plate here and it came as quite a suprise that those idiots can't see the obvious."

The big cheese of the "Alfs" said "I don't know what led them astray, but I'm sure that time will heal this rift between us and they will see sense."

Meanwhile a radical faction of the "Alfs" known as Alf Mars Elimination Nostics (AMEN) has declared JELLO on the Mars group and swears to "Berate those red napkin basturds till they see the light!"

The Martians stated that they were'nt worried as they were pretty sure AMEN did'nt have any planes and we don't have any tall buildings.

Garlic bread will see us through this crises anyway.

On a side note there was one incident of an enraged bicyclest T boning a Mars members car.

At the time he was heard screaming "White is right.............JELLO" just before impact.

Insurance covered the damages.

Both sides are expecting confermation of thier believes from FSM at any time now. 8)
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Re: Show Us Your Cults!

Postby trilobyte » Sat Dec 01, 2012 6:04 pm

Haha unjon, that sounds hilarious. A SantaCon/Santarchy cult would be perfectly appropriate at Burning Man (if I remember my lore correctly, that was the first theme camp in BRC), I could see it now with a big holiday themed camp drawing revelers dressed as Santa, elves, etc, all worshipping a tree and praying for the return of the one true Claus.
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Re: Show Us Your Cults!

Postby burner von braun » Sat Dec 01, 2012 6:28 pm

Rebels without a Claus, as it were.
Another early attempt at success
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Re: Show Us Your Cults!

Postby theCryptofishist » Sat Dec 01, 2012 6:43 pm

maladroit wrote:How about a bunch of snail-shell backpacks and headbands with snail eyes? They could be an escargot cult.

This.


Maybe I could even do this.

My little snail eyes v. Knowmad's bunny ears. He'd win the cute competition, of course, but I could show my dogged, stubborn streak. (Trail?)
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Re: Show Us Your Cults!

Postby knowmad » Sat Dec 01, 2012 7:08 pm

theCryptofishist wrote:
maladroit wrote:How about a bunch of snail-shell backpacks and headbands with snail eyes? They could be an escargot cult.

This.


Maybe I could even do this.

My little snail eyes v. Knowmad's bunny ears. He'd win the cute competition, of course, but I could show my dogged, stubborn streak. (Trail?)

:D :lol: :D :lol:
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Re: Show Us Your Cults!

Postby ygmir » Sat Dec 01, 2012 8:10 pm

knowmad wrote:
theCryptofishist wrote:
maladroit wrote:How about a bunch of snail-shell backpacks and headbands with snail eyes? They could be an escargot cult.

This.


Maybe I could even do this.

My little snail eyes v. Knowmad's bunny ears. He'd win the cute competition, of course, but I could show my dogged, stubborn streak. (Trail?)

:D :lol: :D :lol:


lip........bleeding........biting........tooo.........hard.............
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Re: Show Us Your Cults!

Postby theCryptofishist » Sat Dec 01, 2012 8:26 pm

Uh-oh. Yggy's got lock jaw again. Someone get the speculum.
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Re: Show Us Your Cults!

Postby moonrise » Sat Dec 01, 2012 8:34 pm

The MOONIES

We'll be the ones wearing gigantic upturned funnels for headwear aka FunnelHats.

Our favorite 'Magical" things are Rolls Royces, there's a special camp funnel for those.

Feel free to drop all of your "Magical" (luxury) items into our Funnelhats. We take everything!! :P

[sorry, no photography allowed]
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Re: Show Us Your Cults!

Postby Tiahaar » Sat Dec 01, 2012 9:51 pm

[media]

oh man here's my chance to spread the cult of WRAETHTHU!!!! RAARRRRrrr!!!!
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Re: Show Us Your Cults!

Postby ygmir » Sat Dec 01, 2012 9:58 pm

theCryptofishist wrote:Uh-oh. Yggy's got lock jaw again. Someone get the speculum.

snort
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Re: Show Us Your Cults!

Postby Token » Sun Dec 02, 2012 6:49 am

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Re: Show Us Your Cults!

Postby Token » Sun Dec 02, 2012 6:52 am

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Re: Show Us Your Cults!

Postby Token » Sun Dec 02, 2012 6:59 am

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Re: Show Us Your Cults!

Postby Token » Sun Dec 02, 2012 6:59 am

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Re: Show Us Your Cults!

Postby Token » Sun Dec 02, 2012 7:07 am

And finally we have Figjam ...

memberlist.php?mode=viewprofile&u=39913

With his Magic Cooling Bucket

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Re: Show Us Your Cults!

Postby moonrise » Sun Dec 02, 2012 11:49 am

moonrise wrote:The MOONIES

We'll be the ones wearing gigantic upturned funnels for headwear aka FunnelHats.

Our favorite 'Magical" things are Rolls Royces, there's a special camp funnel for those.

Feel free to drop all of your "Magical" (luxury) items into our Funnelhats. We take everything!! :P

[sorry, no photography allowed]



Oops, forgot to mention our Funnelhats will be well lit at night. Men usually wear black and women usually wear red, however we accept all colors.

Our altars are often (very well lit) LARGE RED GAS CANS and BLUE 55 gallon FUEL DRUMS for the "Magical" Rolls Royce juice.
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Re: Show Us Your Cults!

Postby Ugly Dougly » Sun Dec 02, 2012 1:20 pm

ygmir wrote:so,I'd be a "culttourist", would I be given a little boat?

Do you need help finding yourself a little boat?
Please to visit PAGE TWO.
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Re: Show Us Your Cults!

Postby Ugly Dougly » Sun Dec 02, 2012 1:24 pm

What about turning it on its head? Worshiping Keraperamun, Tanna's mightiest tribal deity.
Yes, the island people will come, bringing with them, kava-kava!
Please to visit PAGE TWO.
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Re: Show Us Your Cults!

Postby Simon of the Playa » Sun Dec 02, 2012 1:29 pm

Ugly Dougly wrote:What about turning it on its head? Worshiping Keraperamun, Tanna's mightiest tribal deity.
Yes, the island people will come, bringing with them, kava-kava!



thats not John Frum...


that's John William Vincent Law. :twisted:
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Re: Show Us Your Cults!

Postby H.G.Crosby » Sun Dec 02, 2012 1:30 pm

thats it, go all madagascar on their asses....
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Re: Show Us Your Cults!

Postby Ugly Dougly » Sun Dec 02, 2012 1:47 pm

Simon of the Playa wrote:
Ugly Dougly wrote:What about turning it on its head? Worshiping Keraperamun, Tanna's mightiest tribal deity.
Yes, the island people will come, bringing with them, kava-kava!



thats not John Frum...


that's John William Vincent Law. :twisted:


Church of the Holy Larry. That's what he wanted, secretly, when he chose this theme, you know.
Please to visit PAGE TWO.
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Re: Show Us Your Cults!

Postby trilobyte » Sun Dec 02, 2012 1:48 pm

[media]
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Re: Show Us Your Cults!

Postby Roberto Dobbisano » Sun Dec 02, 2012 5:52 pm

get into your comfy zone.

all pajama, all the time.


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