Just in --- The Spamalope to be been put on the endangered species list.
The world wide shortage of bacon prompted several wildlife conservation organizations, including the Natural Resources Defense Council, the Wildlife Conservation Society and The Sierra Club to petitioned the President of the United States, Barack Obama and the U.N. to have the Spamalope put on the Endangered Species list. Lisa Renstrom, the President of the Sierra Club, noted that "The world wide shortage of bacon is a good indicator that there is also a worldwide shortage of pigs and bacon comes from pigs." Saying that "since pork is mainly what spamalopes forage for, it is imperative that we get the Spamalope on the endangered species list as soon as possible."
When contacted, Chief Tom Tidwell, head of the US Forest Service, Said that with hunting season about to open the Forest service has the issue of the Spamalope "under revue" and that there were no plans to ban or limit hunting of Spamalopes at this time. Various State forest service Officials were in atendence and all seemed to concur with Cheif Tidwell.
One State Oficial from Georgia, Speaking on condition of anonymity Said that "Spamalope hunting tags for this season have all been sold and there is no way that they can be recalled. We would have hoards of angry hunters and nosiree bob, I do not want to have my name on such a recall."
When asked if the reference to pigs as "what Spamalopes forage for" meant that Spamalopes may in fact be carnivorous, Cheif Tidwell declined to comment. Spamalopes although skittish and reclusive, are believed to be gentle creatures. Scientific studies of the Spamalope made by the government have never been released to the public.
Dance in the heart of chaos. . . . .
ὁ δὲ ἀνεξέταστος βίος οὐ βιωτὸς ἀνθρώπῳ
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