Nobody is really selfless. Even a "selfless act" is just a reflection of a (selfish) need/want to provide something to someone else. You care more about your husband than yourself, but only because it would hurt you more to treat him otherwise. If I "selflessly" build a project for the playa for everyone to enjoy, often my reward is "selfishly" watch people interact with it. Nobody will fault us for these ways of thinking. They're a positive expression of selfishness.
Maybe what you associate with selfishness is exploitation, or perhaps with greed; often these come hand-in-hand. Still, you should not consider being "selfish"--in an of itself--as a negative thing. Think of it as being assertive with your priorities.
As for Burning Man itself, it provides a unique environment, which often amplifies how people act and think, as well as shifts their priorities. It's easier to be more giving because the value of things are not fixed in terms of cost, and often stuff is pre-purchased or reserved specifically for giving. Experience also often has priority over goods, so the experience of giving, or helping, or sharing is more valuable than whatever "cost" is associated with those. Also Burning Man is a relatively safe, contained environment: people generally take care of themselves, so you don't have to; everything else is just icing on the cake (e.g. gifting) or an extraordinary circumstance (asking for help, accidents, etc.).
Is Burning Man selfish? Damn right it is. The act of actually going to experience it already qualifies that. The key is to make Burning Man a positive expression of selfishness. Go for your own enjoyment, and the enjoyment you receive from bringing enjoyment to others. Build things for others to play with, to satisfy your need to build things. Build bonds with and protect the people you care about, or the special people you meet, even if possibly at the expense of others. You can't see everything at Burning Man, nor please everyone in it.
At the very least, be "selfish" enough to ensure that others don't need to compensate for your "selflessness." The greatest act of selflessness is to ensure your own house is in order before someone else's.
"The essence of tyranny is not iron law. It is capricious law." -- Christopher Hitchens
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