Well... this is awkward.

All things outside of Burning Man.

Re: Well... this is awkward.

Postby tattoogoddess » Thu Jun 28, 2012 2:28 pm

theCryptofishist wrote:
wh..sh wrote:
tattoogoddess wrote:Having a well known model come see you. I'm not hot and I'm not blonde with fake tits, so yeah I felt hella awkward with that.

This seems like a backwards way to view it... Maybe it should be more like that even a hot model doesn't know how to negociate outside of with money. Or can't ask for things from an actual girlfriend. Or, well I'm sure we could think of more without effort.
Or maybe, that youth in women confers a kind of "hotness" (or is that "heat") beyond the particulars. (And one of the particulars is likely tg is too hard on herself.)


You know the 2nd time he came to visit me I broke my own code and asked him why. He said that he gets really nervous around women when he goes out and he has social anxitey. I didnt ask him why me personally, Just asked him why an escort cause he could get anyone he wanted.


An yeah it was very good seeing you Savannah! haha
maladroit- Burning Man is like a second job, except you pay to work there.
Burning Man is just the pre party for exodus! - fellow burner during exodus
http://burnon.wix.com/bloodbathandbeyond
User avatar
tattoogoddess
 
Posts: 1943
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2011 5:22 pm
Location: Iowa
Burning Since: 2012
Camp Name: bloodbath and beyond

Re: Well... this is awkward.

Postby Simon of the Playa » Thu Jun 28, 2012 2:44 pm

You know the 2nd time he came to visit me I broke my own code and asked him why. He said that he gets really nervous around women when he goes out and he has social anxitey. I didnt ask him why me personally, Just asked him why an escort cause he could get anyone he wanted.



does that include discussing illegal acts on e-playa?



Iowa prostitution law

Iowa, known as the Hawkeye State, has very cut-and-dried laws that prohibit prostitution and other related crimes within the state. Although they are not lengthy in description, the laws are very clear on the illegal aspects of prostitution and possible sentences.

In Iowa, prostitution is defined as anyone who sells or offers to sell one's services as a participant in a sex act of some sort. Also defined as illegal is anyone who acts as a customer of these services and pays for this interaction. These offenses are considered aggravated misdemeanors. Although they are considered misdemeanors, they still pose a hefty sentence and fine. Guilty convictions can receive jail time up to 2 years and a fine between $500 and $5,000.

Pimping in Iowa is considered a class D felony. A person may be found guilty of pimping if he or she solicits or recruits a patron for a prostitute. Pimping is also considered to knowingly taking or sharing in the proceeds derived from acts of prostitution. Furnishing a room or other place for the purpose of prostitution is also defined as a form of pimping. Punishable with up to 5 years in prison, guilty defendants may also be required to pay a find between $70 and $7,500.

Pandering is illegal and defined as when a person arranges for, persuades, coerces or in any other manner causes someone who is not a minor to engage in prostitution. Keeping a premises for the purpose of prostitution and receiving a share of profits from a place used for prostitution are also defined as forms of pandering. A class D felony, the offense becomes more serious if minors are involved. In a case including minors, the offense is a class C felony.

One last form of prostitution is defined by the Iowa statutes. Any person who has rented or leased a structure, building or some sort of shelter to another for the purpose of seclusion and prostitution is guilty of leasing the premises for prostitution, which is, by law, defined as a serious misdemeanor.

Generally, any offense related to prostitution can be charged under one of these previously stated statutes. While specifics are left to interpretation, the law is very specific about sentencing and charges.
breathe deep, the playa is the dust of your ancestors

A gift for the Playa
User avatar
Simon of the Playa
 
Posts: 13865
Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2007 6:25 pm
Location: Rochester, Nevada.
Burning Since: 1996
Camp Name: La Guilde des Hashischins

Re: Well... this is awkward.

Postby Roberto Dobbisano » Thu Jun 28, 2012 2:45 pm

awkward....
one nation, under a groove.
User avatar
Roberto Dobbisano
 
Posts: 2658
Joined: Thu Jul 09, 2009 5:54 pm
Location: Dobbidossola, Italy.

Re: Well... this is awkward.

Postby H.G.Crosby » Thu Jun 28, 2012 2:55 pm

my eyes, they burn.
Attachments
awk.jpg
awk.jpg (98.76 KiB) Viewed 2226 times
Once I noticed I was on fire, I decided to relax and enjoy the fall™
User avatar
H.G.Crosby
 
Posts: 1671
Joined: Sun Jul 12, 2009 4:47 pm
Location: Boston, New York, Paris, Tangiers

Re: Well... this is awkward.

Postby tattoogoddess » Thu Jun 28, 2012 3:17 pm

Wasn't In Iowa when It happened and did work in a ranch for a while. As I stated many many posts back I have been retired for over 4 years. Moved from where I was at and when to college.... Also if you want to go that route about "Illegal stuff" perhaps you should also discus the pot talk over in the drink thread?
maladroit- Burning Man is like a second job, except you pay to work there.
Burning Man is just the pre party for exodus! - fellow burner during exodus
http://burnon.wix.com/bloodbathandbeyond
User avatar
tattoogoddess
 
Posts: 1943
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2011 5:22 pm
Location: Iowa
Burning Since: 2012
Camp Name: bloodbath and beyond

Re: Well... this is awkward.

Postby Simon of the Playa » Thu Jun 28, 2012 3:22 pm

i was in california when i posted that.
breathe deep, the playa is the dust of your ancestors

A gift for the Playa
User avatar
Simon of the Playa
 
Posts: 13865
Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2007 6:25 pm
Location: Rochester, Nevada.
Burning Since: 1996
Camp Name: La Guilde des Hashischins

Re: Well... this is awkward.

Postby lucky420 » Thu Jun 28, 2012 4:13 pm

it's medicinal I swear!
Oh my god, it's HUGE!
User avatar
lucky420
 
Posts: 4184
Joined: Fri Mar 12, 2010 10:47 am
Location: Reno, NV
Burning Since: I'm not sure
Camp Name: Dye with Dignity

Re: Well... this is awkward.

Postby mgb327 » Thu Jun 28, 2012 4:30 pm

Medicinal? sure.....that's the ticket. But ossifer, I was hungry....
Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them’s making a poop, the other one’s carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge?
" I am a controlled substance". Savannah.
User avatar
mgb327
 
Posts: 509
Joined: Mon Jul 18, 2011 6:20 pm
Location: Somerset, Va.

Re: Well... this is awkward.

Postby FIGJAM » Thu Jun 28, 2012 4:45 pm

I'm at that awkward age..........it's been going on for 58 years so far. 8)
"Don't buy ur Burn...........Build ur Burn!"

Fuck Im Good Just Ask Me
User avatar
FIGJAM
 
Posts: 7093
Joined: Thu Mar 25, 2010 10:39 am
Location: apache junction az.

Re: Well... this is awkward.

Postby junglesmacks » Thu Jun 28, 2012 4:58 pm

Well.. this is awkward.
Savannah wrote:It sounds freaky & wrong, so you need to do it.
User avatar
junglesmacks
 
Posts: 5809
Joined: Wed May 26, 2010 9:54 pm
Location: Orlando, FL/Kailua, HI
Camp Name: Your mom's tent

Re: Well... this is awkward.

Postby Thecatman » Thu Jun 28, 2012 4:59 pm

In 1998 my wife and I were living in Pennsylvania. We took a bus trip to the NASCAR race in Dover. When it was over and we were walking back to the bus, a fellow walking ahead of us was wearing an In-N-Out Burger t-shirt. I had a shirt exactly like it. Seeing an In-N-Out shirt in Delaware was pretty much unheard of. My wife was walking to my left so I put my left arm around her, pulled her closer to me, snuggled my face to hers and said "I have a shirt just like that". Turns out my wife somehow fell behind me and was now to my right. :oops: I told the woman "I have a shirt just like that and you're not my wife. I'm so sorry". I'm glad the other woman took it in stride and got a good laugh out of it. :oops: :oops:
My cats are cuter than your grandkids!
"We in Arizona (and the rest of the United States) have been more than patient waiting for Washington to act."
"Government is not the solution to our problems, government is the problem."
Thecatman
 
Posts: 1724
Joined: Mon Apr 16, 2007 8:47 pm
Location: Nevada desert 120miles S. of BRC
Burning Since: 2002
Camp Name: alone

Re: Well... this is awkward.

Postby Roberto Dobbisano » Thu Jun 28, 2012 5:43 pm

Image



every time i drive thru Iowa, i feel awkward...
one nation, under a groove.
User avatar
Roberto Dobbisano
 
Posts: 2658
Joined: Thu Jul 09, 2009 5:54 pm
Location: Dobbidossola, Italy.

Re: Well... this is awkward.

Postby Thecatman » Thu Jun 28, 2012 5:59 pm

$1.32 a gallon?

Heavy sigh!
My cats are cuter than your grandkids!
"We in Arizona (and the rest of the United States) have been more than patient waiting for Washington to act."
"Government is not the solution to our problems, government is the problem."
Thecatman
 
Posts: 1724
Joined: Mon Apr 16, 2007 8:47 pm
Location: Nevada desert 120miles S. of BRC
Burning Since: 2002
Camp Name: alone

Re: Well... this is awkward.

Postby junglesmacks » Thu Jun 28, 2012 7:40 pm

Image
Savannah wrote:It sounds freaky & wrong, so you need to do it.
User avatar
junglesmacks
 
Posts: 5809
Joined: Wed May 26, 2010 9:54 pm
Location: Orlando, FL/Kailua, HI
Camp Name: Your mom's tent

Re: Well... this is awkward.

Postby littleflower » Thu Jun 28, 2012 7:43 pm

i like letting light in and seeing outdoors, and also like walking around half nude .... but i always seem to think no one cares, even if they can see ....

so one night i was in my kitchen, and the guy across the small street with the big window sees me and starts jacking off with one hand, while motioning to me that i should do the same with the other .........



and yes, i still run around half-nude with the windows uncovered!
User avatar
littleflower
 
Posts: 3377
Joined: Mon Sep 01, 2008 7:30 pm
Location: rainforest canopy

Re: Well... this is awkward.

Postby burner von braun » Thu Jun 28, 2012 11:02 pm

*picks jaw up off of floor*

ok, when I was studying architecture at the university, I was sitting in the back of the classroom, and the professor was giving a lecture about design structure or some such thing. He was a nice enough guy, of Italian descent, and had jet black hair and a mustache in a big bushy hairstyle, (think Welcome back Kotter) it was the 70's afterall. At one point he had drawn something on the chalkboard, and needed an eraser, and none were to be found up front. There in the back of the room though, was another chalkboard, with erasers on the ledge. Being the helpful lad that I was, I picked one up, and he beckoned me to toss it up front to him. It was a fine toss, and landed squarely right into his outstretched hand, but.. the thing was, the eraser had quite an accumulation of dust on it, and when he caught it, there was this amazing poof, and he was instantly covered in white chalk dust, fuzzy hair and all.

Needless to say, I became an Art major not long afterward.
Another early attempt at success
User avatar
burner von braun
 
Posts: 761
Joined: Wed Jun 23, 2010 4:37 pm
Burning Since: 2010

Re: Well... this is awkward.

Postby Sail Man » Fri Jun 29, 2012 12:31 am

ygmir wrote:*searching for Rolodex*


Are you kidding? I have to use a 8 gig thumb drive lol
Excuse me Ma'am, your going to feel a small prick.
_______________________________________

Algorithms never survive the first thirty seconds of patient contact
User avatar
Sail Man
 
Posts: 4500
Joined: Tue Sep 30, 2008 10:03 am
Location: 20 Minutes into the Future
Burning Since: 2008
Camp Name: Kidsville: Delicious

Re: Well... this is awkward.

Postby Sail Man » Fri Jun 29, 2012 12:34 am

junglesmacks wrote:Well.. this is awkward.


quite, just hit this.....
Excuse me Ma'am, your going to feel a small prick.
_______________________________________

Algorithms never survive the first thirty seconds of patient contact
User avatar
Sail Man
 
Posts: 4500
Joined: Tue Sep 30, 2008 10:03 am
Location: 20 Minutes into the Future
Burning Since: 2008
Camp Name: Kidsville: Delicious

Re: Well... this is awkward.

Postby catinthefunnyhat » Sun Jul 08, 2012 8:32 am

Yesterday, I visited a relatively new coffee shop. I'd passed it a few times and never managed to go in before. What ensued was a series of somewhat awkward events that culminated in one SUPER-awkward one.

There were two middle-aged baristas, working there. I think they were the proprietors. Neither seemed particularly happy to be there. One was crusty; the other, distracted.

As my partner ordered, I went over to the serve-yourself lemon-water jug and poured myself a glass. The spout was wonky, and I poured water all over myself, the floor, the table... A group of people sitting in one corner saw it and laughed.

I decided the water needed to be wiped up, as the tile floor was very slippery. The crusty barrista was making both of our drinks; the distracted one seemed to be either supervising him or in training. He just kind of stood there, awkwardly watching the crusty one work. I started trying to get his attention.

Multiple times, I thought I had caught the distracted barrista's eye and started talking to him, but he never noticed me. A woman came in, and he stopped watching the other guy to greet. I tried to use the break in his "focus" to interrupt him and point out the water, but he still didn't notice me. He came out from behind the counter and walked right past me to give the woman -- apparently a friend of his -- a hug.

At this point, I was growing really concerned that someone was going to slip on this water. As the distracted barrista kept talking to his friend, I eventually managed to get the attention of the crusty one -- who was still making our drinks -- and ask him for some paper towel. He was perplexed for a moment but gave me a small piece and then went back to his work. I crouched down on the floor and began to up the water with it, but it was too small, so I was mostly pushing the water around.

At this point in the story, my sense of awkwardness has been building up to a critical mass. I've spilled water everywhere, been laughed at by strangers, made numerous failed attempts to the the attention of someone for help, and am now cleaning the floor of an unfamiliar restaurant with a tiny piece of paper towel.

Suddenly, I noticed that the distracted barrista was wrapping up his conversation and moving back to his awkward-watching spot, that I was on the floor directly in his path, and that he did not know I was there. I called out a warning, but -- surprise! -- he didn't hear me. Now, this guy was very large -- tall and solid, probably close to 300lb. And I was crouched right at tripping height to him. He bumped into me and stumbled. He tried to recover, between his surprise and the water on the floor, he was unable to do so. He fell down right on top of me. Luckily for me, he was able to catch some of his weight with his arms, so I didn't get squashed. But he ended up on top of me, kind of lying/leaning on me in a "bridge" position as if we were playing twister. All the people in the restaurant gasped as he fell. There was a long exchange of very awkward "I'm-so-sorrys" and "are-you-oks" before he finally got up.

Holy fuck, that was awkward.
Last edited by catinthefunnyhat on Sun Jul 08, 2012 8:44 am, edited 1 time in total.
If you want drama to stop following you everywhere, try letting go of the leash.
User avatar
catinthefunnyhat
 
Posts: 2182
Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2012 4:24 pm
Location: Toronto, Canada

Re: Well... this is awkward.

Postby lucky420 » Sun Jul 08, 2012 8:38 am

maybe that'll teach him to not ignore customers who came in before his friends.

Glad you weren't hurt though. Next time just state loudly "Hey!, little help here if you don't mind" What I would've wanted to say is "Hey motherfucker!, little help here..." Because what I read was that his rudeness could've caused someone to get hurt not your spilling of the water.

Sometimes I just have no patience. Now I'm off to the grocery store :lol:
Oh my god, it's HUGE!
User avatar
lucky420
 
Posts: 4184
Joined: Fri Mar 12, 2010 10:47 am
Location: Reno, NV
Burning Since: I'm not sure
Camp Name: Dye with Dignity

Re: Well... this is awkward.

Postby ygmir » Sun Jul 08, 2012 8:42 am

Catfh: we might be related.......haha.

dang, and glad you're ok.
you sure he wasn't dry humping you instead of "bridging"?....just sayin.......
YGMIR

Unabashed Nordic
Pagan
User avatar
ygmir
 
Posts: 25996
Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2007 8:36 pm
Location: nevada county
Burning Since: 2017
Camp Name: qqqq

Re: Well... this is awkward.

Postby catinthefunnyhat » Sun Jul 08, 2012 8:49 am

:D lucky, Yggy

Yeah, you're right, lucky, I should've been a bit more, uh, direct. I'm awfully uncomfortable with any kind of conflict, so I tend to be too polite. I guess I was trying to avoid any awkwardness :roll:

Yggy, we might indeed be related. We should probably avoid using any heavy equipment in each other's presence (there's a straight line for ya...).
If you want drama to stop following you everywhere, try letting go of the leash.
User avatar
catinthefunnyhat
 
Posts: 2182
Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2012 4:24 pm
Location: Toronto, Canada

Re: Well... this is awkward.

Postby ygmir » Sun Jul 08, 2012 8:55 am

catinthefunnyhat wrote::D lucky, Yggy

Yeah, you're right, lucky, I should've been a bit more, uh, direct. I'm awfully uncomfortable with any kind of conflict, so I tend to be too polite. I guess I was trying to avoid any awkwardness :roll:

Yggy, we might indeed be related. We should probably avoid using any heavy equipment in each other's presence (there's a straight line for ya...).


How does one hit a baseball, when it's put on a tee? I almost feel guilty for what I'm thinking...... Almost.............
YGMIR

Unabashed Nordic
Pagan
User avatar
ygmir
 
Posts: 25996
Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2007 8:36 pm
Location: nevada county
Burning Since: 2017
Camp Name: qqqq

Re: Well... this is awkward.

Postby Elorrum » Sun Jul 08, 2012 9:06 am

Lucy always promises to hold the football this time.
What's the name of the act? The Aristocrats.
User avatar
Elorrum
 
Posts: 4479
Joined: Sat Mar 15, 2008 9:09 pm
Location: San Jose, CA

Re: Well... this is awkward.

Postby ygmir » Sun Jul 08, 2012 9:08 am

Elorrum wrote:Lucy always promises to hold the football this time.


you always have a way of cutting to the heart of the matter.....clarity of vision, one of your many admirable traits, Elorrum.
YGMIR

Unabashed Nordic
Pagan
User avatar
ygmir
 
Posts: 25996
Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2007 8:36 pm
Location: nevada county
Burning Since: 2017
Camp Name: qqqq

Re: Well... this is awkward.

Postby theCryptofishist » Sun Jul 08, 2012 9:43 am

Dang, I hate a similar thing happen a couple of months back. The whole we're-too-busy-with-whatever to take care of what might become an issue with a little more bad luck. In this case, I don't think that they were owners, they were employees that didn't think that coming out from behind the counter was part of the job description. Of course, I hadn't made the spill, I was alerting them to it as a courtesy.

twits...
Simon's real sig line?

Embrace the Sock

Winners never quilt, quilters never win...
User avatar
theCryptofishist
 
Posts: 37462
Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2004 10:28 am
Location: In Exile
Burning Since: 2017

Re: Well... this is awkward.

Postby lucky420 » Sun Jul 08, 2012 10:18 am

While at the grocery store this morning. I was pretty engrossed at what was on the shelves and I walked into a big, really big puddle of water. Someone had dropped a gallon of water and there had been no attempt to clean it up. So I yelled very loudly "Hey motherfuckers, someone clean this up now!" lol

No not really, I'm usually not that rude. I'm more just assertively polite if needed. I did grab the caution cones at the end of the aisle and placed them about the spill and told the next store employee that I saw about it.
Oh my god, it's HUGE!
User avatar
lucky420
 
Posts: 4184
Joined: Fri Mar 12, 2010 10:47 am
Location: Reno, NV
Burning Since: I'm not sure
Camp Name: Dye with Dignity

Re: Well... this is awkward.

Postby tattoogoddess » Sun Jul 08, 2012 10:39 am

Ha ha Love that!
maladroit- Burning Man is like a second job, except you pay to work there.
Burning Man is just the pre party for exodus! - fellow burner during exodus
http://burnon.wix.com/bloodbathandbeyond
User avatar
tattoogoddess
 
Posts: 1943
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2011 5:22 pm
Location: Iowa
Burning Since: 2012
Camp Name: bloodbath and beyond

Re: Well... this is awkward.

Postby Turtleburp » Mon Jul 09, 2012 6:04 am

This close friend of mine( so close in fact that I'm having to type this quietly) has my favorite, if not THE best awkward story.

As with many of her stories it starts in the pub with her friends and a couple (I swear it was only a couple yer honor I'm as sober as a judge) of beverages.

After returning to with her friends to their family rented beach house they drank a little more before hitting the hay. The Bumbler awoke in the middle of the night feeling queasy and went in search of the bathroom. Finding only a corridor of shut doors she stumbled to the one at the end and decided to enter.

No toilet but there was a bed which she promptly jumped into - having not resolved the vomit issue though at some point later she threw up on the floor and was told to GET OUT by the bed's occupant.

She was awoken the next day by a mix of amused, concerned and one angry voice (that one belonging to the owner of the bed that had just stood in her vomit). As she listened in she heard her friend's girlfriend taking the blame and slowly began to remember the truth.

This was kept secret since 2003 and the now ex still got the blame until last weekend, at my prompting and yet again made malleable by booze, she fessed up to the grooms father - surprisingly it was a great ice breaker and we hung out for a while.


Awkward to awesome!
Amateur shirtcocker

Simon's left sock and cat porn photographer

Image
User avatar
Turtleburp
 
Posts: 522
Joined: Wed Jan 04, 2012 8:52 pm
Location: Melbourne
Burning Since: 2001
Camp Name: Barbie Holiday Village - Soap Supplied!

Re: Well... this is awkward.

Postby OregonRed » Mon Jul 09, 2012 2:06 pm

My mom and I were taking my daughters back-to-school shopping at the mall about eight years ago. My mother and I both hate shopping and detest the mall, so for both of us this was an exercise in aggravation. To make it worse, the girls were at the point that they no longer liked the same styles of clothing, so we had to go to almost every store in the fucking mall. So, to save both of our sanity, we decided we would each go with a child and cut down on our mall time overall. I took my oldest and mom took my youngest, and we went our separate ways, agreeing to meet in the food court in ninety minutes.

At the end of ninety minutes, my daughter and I were at the opposite end of the mall from the food court and we're hustling to get there (my mom is all about punctuality). As we hurried into the food court, I could see my mom and my daughter sitting with their backs to me on a bench. So, I ran up behind them and grabbed them each with one arm around the waist, gave them a squeeze, and asked how their shopping was. I felt them both stiffen up, and as I pulled back I realized that I had just hugged two complete strangers. :oops: :oops: :oops: As I stammered out an explanation, they laughed uncomfortably, and tried to extract myself from the situation as gracefully as possible.

I turned around to find my mother standing behind me with both of my daughters laughing at me. :roll:
M*A*S*H 4207 We're not doctors.

"Just be yourself. All the good personalities are taken." stolen from my amazing friend Dwayne Gerken's fb status post.

Image
User avatar
OregonRed
 
Posts: 1160
Joined: Sun Sep 14, 2003 7:13 pm
Location: Van Nuys, CA
Burning Since: 2001
Camp Name: M*A*S*H 4207

PreviousNext

Return to Open Discussion

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests