O inexplicable and benevolent universe!
(and of course, CC: eplaya)
I confess to you: I have been a bad, bad burner. I've been "busy," I've been too "broke," I've been too "broken"...All these excuses, all this reptilian fear...
But it was in the not-knowing, the brokenness, that I learned about myself, and the Hermetic and Dionysian Self-Ages cycled once again; a needed retreat into darkness to fully understand the light. And the light... oh how it burns.
The burn (and this includes regionals;) is not just an event (Ha, need I tell you that!). It's not just something to do, something to hold on to, from which to escape the "real world". It's not even something that need be done in the desert (but no really who decided that seriously it's fucking hot out there, oh god the chafing!!)
It is something within us. A burning desire, a burning creativity, a burning curiosity, a burning feeling X. An ineffable feeling like, like, your body is exploding from every single quantum part in an effort to reach out to that great beyond, the divine, the creator, that flying spaghetti monster in the sky! And it's tearing you apart and burning at every beautiful turn...
That feeling, diverted inward, prismatic in its brokenness, is still beautiful in its own way. No denying that. Ask Akhilandeshvari: the Goddess Never Not Broken.
But. The light that explodes and reaches out and finds in another, itself, finds family all around no longer so alone... it's... it's irreplaceable. Much needed in this ever-isolating, ever-alienating "world" we live in (Ha, need I tell you that!)
Universe, to be honest, I don't really need a ticket. I don't need anything in particular from you because you've given me so much, already. And I'm constantly asking you for more, I know. (Aren't we all?)
I need not go to another burn for the rest of my life to remember.. but honestly c'mon where's the fun in that??!
I'm sure as the even draws near, tickets will pop out of the ground like little rainbows covered in butterflies on a barren and dusty terrain, calling out to me, whispering, "YEsssss, YESSssss.... YOu. CAn. cOMEeee!!!! (MayBbeee... I DUunnoZ If I GOing, Momz in TOwnn...)."
I will run amok, grasping, wanting, desiring... Although I have been told I'm good at begging... or was it just being on my knees? I can't remember.
What I'm saying is: ticket or no ticket, I will be there. In heart. In spirit. In burn.
But if a butterfly happens to land on my shoulder, I will not shoo it away.
Thanks. That is all.
Now, everyone, please go back to being superheros and saving the world, even, no, especially if you're in your pajamas. Pajama superheroes are the best.