Just to get it out in the open, I am a virgin burner. I have been reading on eplaya and have read mixed reviews on how people feel about first timers ~ makes sense, in fact I am probably in way over my head, but I am not blind as to what to expect. I know it will be hard, hot, exhausting and overwhelming physically, emotionally and mentally. It's an experince I NEED for myselfI first heard of Burning Man through a boyfriend I had. His sister and her boyfriend went. They said it was a shock to their soul. I saw pictures of dust storms, girls dressed as unicorns, naked people on bikes and people, vehicles and art that looked like they came out of a Dr. Suess world. I was curious. Intrigued. CaptivatedI went home, went to bed, and I remember dreaming that I was on that desert. Happy. Free. Fearless. I woke up to my life.
My life isn't bad, but it surely isn't what it should be. That is my fault based on choices I have been faced with and made. As a kid, I was known as afree spirit. No one could tame me. As an adult, I was tamed... no, not tamed, trapped. I became a shell of who I once was. Now, I am not a person of religion or faith, maybe spirituality and belief in reason, and I believe I was supposed to hear about this experience - maybe that sounds stupid, but I feel such a liberating feeling when I read and read and read about this upcoming event. I dream of it. I think about it non-stop - at home, at work, at the store, in my car. EVERYTHING some how triggers thoughts of what I might need, what I might encounter and how to handle it. Preparing myself mentally to be out of my element and into a world that will reshape me to the person I know I can be, because I want to be. It is a life changing event that I haven't even attended yet, and my life has been changed.
I look forward to meeting, greeting, living and laughing, exploring, experiencing, growing and changing and transforming my life in a desert. A glimpse of time, that almost, just almost seems like a mirage.
i am capable of greatness despite weariness and pain. i have been bruised, beaten, and battered but NOT broken. the person in the mirror is my biggest competition but also my greatest creation. i must mold myself to be stronger, better, hungry for life.