tell me a story

All things outside of Burning Man.

Re: tell me a story

Postby FIGJAM » Fri Mar 09, 2012 5:06 pm

right after yoga they had OMMMMMMMMMMMMMMlets made with the remnents of the chilies for willies costumes, then.........
"Don't buy ur Burn...........Build ur Burn!"

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Re: tell me a story

Postby OnceTheDustClears » Sun Mar 11, 2012 10:41 pm

...severely under slept Burners began following the wonderful coffee smell and formed a very long line, mugs in hand.
Small talk ensued about important things like meteor showers, local politics, and the Burning Man ticket debacle.
It seemed to be a serious moment when the tall, shirt cocking individual at the front of the line turned to face the
crowd and solemnly announced...
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Re: tell me a story

Postby maryanimal » Mon Mar 12, 2012 12:01 pm

...can anybody spare a dime? As he looked over the crowd, a voice from the end of the line stood up and said...
Sometimes I'm confused by what I think is really obvious. But what I think is really obvious obviously isn't obvious.
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Re: tell me a story

Postby International Incident » Mon Mar 12, 2012 2:52 pm

Where would you put it... you don't have any pockets
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Re: tell me a story

Postby ygmir » Mon Mar 12, 2012 4:17 pm

to which he replied:
silly, I meant a roll of dimes.for that, I need no pockets.
With that statement, he launched into a cheer leading routine, the likes of which, had never been seen. He frolicked too and fro, jumped, bounced, flipped and slithered, contorted and muscled...... and never, never lost his dimes!!!
As the crowd grew, and folks gasped at his super human antics, a sudden silence came over the audience..........and, a chant started, some one had recognized him, someone, had seen him on the playa, and knew who he was.

They chanted, first in a whisper, one to the next, then, as the fervor built, it became a siren call,
they chanted his name, the name we all know, love and admire. They yelled even:

"S.....................
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Re: tell me a story

Postby OnceTheDustClears » Mon Mar 12, 2012 4:58 pm

Sir Secretpocket! What else ya got in there?
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Re: tell me a story

Postby moonrise » Mon Mar 12, 2012 5:03 pm

More secrets....but I'm willing to share. First we must walk through the tunnel...
I'm the MAN in a truck, burner who is stuck, you're in luck! I'll whip out my BIG tow chain and not charge you, not even one lousy buck!
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Re: tell me a story

Postby maryanimal » Mon Mar 12, 2012 6:40 pm

...so like a herd of lemmings, the group of thousands followed the bearded deity through the tunnel. The tunnel was long, and the further they traveled, the less light luminated the tunnel. The man stopped in his trackes, turned around slowly, raised his arms up and declared...
Sometimes I'm confused by what I think is really obvious. But what I think is really obvious obviously isn't obvious.
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Re: tell me a story

Postby Mojojita » Mon Mar 12, 2012 7:01 pm

Wow, I smell really bad. He was so repulsed that he.....
Ut ballista es interdico, tantum interdico mos fui ballista.
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Re: tell me a story

Postby maryanimal » Sun Mar 18, 2012 6:59 pm

...asked if anyone bad any body wipes. and with that, all the people, one by one, in pairs, completely cleaned him from head to toe, every crack and crevass, not a spot was missed. He was so overcome with joy, he...
Sometimes I'm confused by what I think is really obvious. But what I think is really obvious obviously isn't obvious.
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Re: tell me a story

Postby Onion » Sun Mar 18, 2012 9:31 pm

immediately started crying tears of lemonade. And since the cleaning crew was so thirsty, they lapped it up like kittens sucking at a milk soaked rag. They had nearly quenched their thirst when, with a resounding !!!WHOMP!!!, out of the sky came...
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Re: tell me a story

Postby FIGJAM » Sun Mar 18, 2012 9:55 pm

raining 20,000 burgins!!!!!!!!!!

The vets were wearing their helmets in preperation for this event and they picked the burgins up and gently told them to "walk toward the light" at which point the burgins started shuffling off in all directions, since there were lights everywhere, mumbling.......
"Don't buy ur Burn...........Build ur Burn!"

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Re: tell me a story

Postby Onion » Mon Mar 19, 2012 9:46 am

about having to go pick up the kids and the dog from the kennel, and having to fill up the fuel tanks in their oversized mutant vehicles, and leaving a trail of MOOP that stretched all the way to...
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Re: tell me a story

Postby moonrise » Mon Mar 19, 2012 1:42 pm

the begining of their trail of MOOP as they picked it all up in the strong dusty winds coming and going in both directions......
I'm the MAN in a truck, burner who is stuck, you're in luck! I'll whip out my BIG tow chain and not charge you, not even one lousy buck!
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Re: tell me a story

Postby Sail Man » Mon Mar 19, 2012 3:10 pm

were a pair of greyhound buses (or at least what appeared to be as their names had been covered hastily with fake grass skirting). Inside, with their faces pressed against the windows, were senior citizens from the senior center in Nantucket, RI, looking like they were on a road trip to the local casino, resplendent in their seer sucker suits and over sized sun glasses, they were instead headed for a "tour" of a theme camp, the nefarious....
Excuse me Ma'am, your going to feel a small prick.
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Re: tell me a story

Postby maryanimal » Sun Mar 25, 2012 6:00 pm

...Barbie Death Camp and Wine Bistro. They had heard of the food buffet, the free flowing booze, and the handsome, sexy Doc Pyro. Each lady had applied there makeup carefully, dusted themselves with scented body powder, and slicked their puckered lips with gloss. When they exitied the bus, they saw the the pulchritudinous, libidinous, Cassanova known as Doc Pyro. He stool tall and masculine, wearing a velvet, knee-length robe, a glint is his beguiling brown eyes, and a glass of sparkling wine in the other. His arm rose slightly, as if to make a toast, he look over at the ladies and said...
Sometimes I'm confused by what I think is really obvious. But what I think is really obvious obviously isn't obvious.
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Re: tell me a story

Postby Sail Man » Mon Mar 26, 2012 2:06 pm

"Depends! Which one of you has my order of depends?" For the good Doctor had grown weary of seeking out the blue palaces when he was on a walkabout of the playa late at night, sufficiently filled with intoxicating beverages and knew, full well, that a good pair of depends would stretch his cavorting further into the night. but alas, the last of the depends were being used (one apparently at that moment) yet, as a tear began to form in the corner of his eyes, one of the ladies piped up and said....
Excuse me Ma'am, your going to feel a small prick.
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Re: tell me a story

Postby maryanimal » Mon Mar 26, 2012 2:44 pm

no worries baby! All the women parted like the Red Sea, and a bevy of beauties, stunning and sparkly, walked to Doc P. and one by one kissed his warm, supple lips. With a woman on each arm and the rest beside him, he turned towards his infamous RV saying...
Sometimes I'm confused by what I think is really obvious. But what I think is really obvious obviously isn't obvious.
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Re: tell me a story

Postby Onion » Mon Mar 26, 2012 5:23 pm

"Ladies!, please stay calm. It will only take at most like twenty of you to deal with what I've been carrying around in here." And with that, he reached into his soiled disposable undergarments and pulled out a big...
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Re: tell me a story

Postby maryanimal » Sat Mar 31, 2012 12:58 pm

..surprize no one ever expected! The girls swooned when they all saw what he'd been hiding! One by one as they stood in line, they got on their knees and...
Sometimes I'm confused by what I think is really obvious. But what I think is really obvious obviously isn't obvious.
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Re: tell me a story

Postby ygmir » Sat Mar 31, 2012 1:25 pm

began to pray.........for, Doc had brought forth, as his surprise a genuine crucifix, and began chanting in Latin. He then ripped off his black cape, to expose himself and his white robes.....donning his Pope hat..........it turned out, he was channeling our very own "German Shepard" and with that, began his sermon.............but, a few minutes into said oration, his head split wide open, and who should be revealed, and having hidden himself in an "Ed Gein inspired" costume but:

Image

yes ,yes, it was Jimmy Swaggart!!
he began speaking in tongues, he cussed, he spit........he even started to cry:
Image

because, as he sermonized (not waxing a car), and had gone into his holy trance and given sacrosanct words and proclamation, who had appeared, from the crowd, slowly walking toward him, determination written all over his face..........and holding a bottle of vodka with "BRC" on the label, but the one, the only savior, and denizen of Eplaya.............
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Re: tell me a story

Postby Patsh » Sat Mar 31, 2012 1:33 pm

(holding my breath...) :shock:


*making popcorn*
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keep on triken' Mamma!
Triken' ma blues away....
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Re: tell me a story

Postby ygmir » Sat Mar 31, 2012 1:46 pm

Triken wrote:(holding my breath...) :shock:


*making popcorn*


*pulls a chair up next to Triken*

Image
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Re: tell me a story

Postby Lassen Forge » Sat Mar 31, 2012 1:59 pm

...yours truly. Knocking the ice off the cap, and handing it to Billy, bb put her arms around him, said, "Here here, you're suffering from Vodka and Bacon Withdrawls"... Pulling some freshly fried and crispy bacon (still hot from the cast iron) from her ever-present mitt, and spinning the top off the bottle, she poured a healthy slug down his throat, and stuffed the bacon in afterwards, forcing him to consume the playafied treats and restoring his soul...

"What... happened?" said the stunned, but recovering Doc, as he unzipped yet another layer, and re-emerged as himself, standing in his naked glory to the admiraton of the shocked throngs of burgins, shirtcockers, and yahoos who had gathered at the sermonizing spectacle. "And who are these people?" Spying Ygmir sitting apart from the crowd, she turned to him, asking him to please watch over Doc, and as she turned the now smiling doc over to the care of one of the playa saviors, she fanizhed into the duststorm as suddenly as she appeared.

Yggie and Triken grabbed Doc by an arm, and guided him over by the piano at the Wine Bistro, and...
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Re: tell me a story

Postby Patsh » Sat Mar 31, 2012 2:18 pm

...sat him down to play.

"Oh!! (ahem)", whispered Doc, almost indiscernibly self-conscious..

From somewhere in the (otherwise silent) crowd came
an anonymous, "Make us dance, Doc!"

Whereupon......
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Triken' ma blues away....
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Re: tell me a story

Postby ygmir » Sat Mar 31, 2012 3:16 pm

he once again, peeled off, what had looked like the "real nude Doc" (save for the overendowment),
and appeared as:

Image

yes, Liberace..........
he played wonderful tunes.........waltz, polka, the tango.........and as he was playing a tango, who should appear on stage but the famous, generous and very adept, Shambala.......fresh from his French tango dance tour..........
The crowd hushed...........for they knew, he had won the French tango tour with honors.
He seemed, somewhat confused though............but true to form, he agreed, to one last dance.
So, the music began, Shambala, in all his finery, produced a cube of butter and asked:
Am I still in Paris?
The audience spontaneously..................
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Re: tell me a story

Postby Sail Man » Sat Mar 31, 2012 4:17 pm

Leapt to their feet and began to dance, but just any dance, Riverdance!

Image

But this was a special Riverdance. boy girl, boy girl, boy girl, they danced as pairs, intertwined, copulating as they dance, in a frenzied thrust of mindless pleasure.

And Liberace/Doc watched over them, enthralled, feeling yearnings of his own and motioned Triken back over to him. "Here, Triken, sit on the piano with me" he uttered in a throaty growl, and slowly with his hand......
Excuse me Ma'am, your going to feel a small prick.
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Re: tell me a story

Postby Patsh » Sat Mar 31, 2012 4:20 pm

Ummmmm.... popcorn, anyone? :oops:
formerly, Triken

keep on triken' Mamma!
Triken' ma blues away....
.


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Re: tell me a story

Postby Patsh » Sat Mar 31, 2012 7:03 pm

Piano 2.jpg
Piano 2.jpg (6.06 KiB) Viewed 1498 times
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keep on triken' Mamma!
Triken' ma blues away....
.


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Re: tell me a story

Postby delle » Sat Mar 31, 2012 7:47 pm

...reached over and clicked the remote to activate the camera.

"There" he smiled. "That should
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