Top Ten Reasons Why You Shouldn't Go to Burning Man
1. The Dust is Radioactive.
2. The DPW is allowed 13 kills per year, do you want to be a statistic?
3. All Straight Men have to suck off a Greeter upon Arrival.
4. All Lesbians have to suck off a Greeter upon Arrival.
5. All Gay Men are NOT allowed to suck off any Greeters at Any Time.
6. Burning Man is run by Nazi's, Space Nazi's to be exact.
7. There WILL be Kool-Aid this year, and it's fucking MANDATORY.
8. ALL PARTICIPANTS will be chipped for their safety....read the back of the ticket, asshole.
9. Larry IS a shape-shifting vampire.
10. ALL HIPPIES WILL BE SHOWERED AND THEIR HAIR CUT BEFORE ENTERING NO EXCEPTIONS.
BURNING MAN SUCKS, IT IS A SHITTY "BUCKET LIST" ITEM, DON'T KID YOURSELVES, YOU DO NOT WANT TO DO THIS BEFORE YOU DIE.
11....IT IS A GODDAMN CULT, AND WE WILL EAT YOUR SOUL!!!!