tell me a story

All things outside of Burning Man.

Re: tell me a story

Postby BBadger » Sat Dec 10, 2011 4:14 pm

... a half-eaten watermelon adorned with Mr. Potatohead spectacles and a glued-on wig. Having no microwave by which to warm up the insides, he instead resorted to...
"The essence of tyranny is not iron law. It is capricious law." -- Christopher Hitchens

Hate reading my replies? Click here to add me to your plonk (foe) list.
User avatar
BBadger
 
Posts: 3979
Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2011 11:37 am
Location: (near) Portland, OR, USA
Burning Since: I'm not sure

Re: tell me a story

Postby maryanimal » Sat Dec 10, 2011 6:14 pm

...wrapping it up in aluminum foil and placing it under his armpit. So he lifted his smelly, festering swatch of burlap he wore as a shirt, not caring if he was a shirtcocker, he...
Sometimes I'm confused by what I think is really obvious. But what I think is really obvious obviously isn't obvious.
User avatar
maryanimal
 
Posts: 3850
Joined: Wed Jul 28, 2010 9:41 am
Burning Since: 2011

Re: tell me a story

Postby bigdane » Sat Dec 10, 2011 6:46 pm

...laughed loudly and...
don't play with matches unless you intend to burn
User avatar
bigdane
 
Posts: 343
Joined: Sat Oct 01, 2011 7:24 pm
Location: somewhere west of my cerebral cortex
Burning Since: 2012
Camp Name: Barbie Death Camp and Wine Bistro

Re: tell me a story

Postby FIGJAM » Sat Dec 10, 2011 8:21 pm

to the lilting strains of Daft Punk pleasured the night awayyyyyyyyyyyy..........
"Don't buy ur Burn...........Build ur Burn!"

Fuck Im Good Just Ask Me
User avatar
FIGJAM
 
Posts: 7095
Joined: Thu Mar 25, 2010 10:39 am
Location: apache junction az.

Re: tell me a story

Postby maryanimal » Sat Dec 10, 2011 8:45 pm

As he was making his monkey noises, Priscilla, Queen of the desert happened by. A young beauty Priscilla was, so young and innocent. When all of a sudden she heard the catterwalling of what sounded like a...
Sometimes I'm confused by what I think is really obvious. But what I think is really obvious obviously isn't obvious.
User avatar
maryanimal
 
Posts: 3850
Joined: Wed Jul 28, 2010 9:41 am
Burning Since: 2011

Re: tell me a story

Postby ygmir » Sat Dec 10, 2011 9:30 pm

a swirling vortex of water.........as it descends the loo, on it's way to the netherworld.
"A vortex of swirling water"? you ask.........

well, yes, yes indeed.
Or, any scene from "Dragnet". (officer Friday).

For you see, the noise maker, the ner-do-well, that "Prince of the Preposterous", "Purveyor of Platitudes"
"Proponent of Petulance", Psychotic Puppet", was the one, the only............
YGMIR

Unabashed Nordic
Pagan
User avatar
ygmir
 
Posts: 25998
Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2007 8:36 pm
Location: nevada county
Burning Since: 2017
Camp Name: qqqq

Re: tell me a story

Postby BBadger » Sun Dec 11, 2011 3:29 am

BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY!

"BILL BILL BILL BILL!" chanted the audience in a rhythmic drone that drove the science guy mad. Bill stood up and steadied himself upon the a soiled couch, stained oversized shirt flapping in the wind, phallus apologetically turgid.

"I shall lead you!" Bill roared!

A scream from the middle of the crowd of 3000 sent the masses into a frenzy, endlessly chanting "BILL BILL BILL BILL! BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY!"

Grasping the corn-encrusted scepter, is Nyeness stepped down from the couch. Turning to face the city of lights, he marched forward, leading his people to the city, to the salvation they so greatly deserved...
"The essence of tyranny is not iron law. It is capricious law." -- Christopher Hitchens

Hate reading my replies? Click here to add me to your plonk (foe) list.
User avatar
BBadger
 
Posts: 3979
Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2011 11:37 am
Location: (near) Portland, OR, USA
Burning Since: I'm not sure

Re: tell me a story

Postby OnceTheDustClears » Sun Dec 11, 2011 12:32 pm

...with the proudly naked great gramma Velda loyally by his side, waving the newly resurrected ableskiver pan, they strode radiating goodness and light, leading the masses, to the center camp stage, just in time for the long awaited performance of...
User avatar
OnceTheDustClears
 
Posts: 1309
Joined: Sun Jan 18, 2009 5:46 pm

Re: tell me a story

Postby ygmir » Sun Dec 11, 2011 2:30 pm

Image

Knowing, that although almost identical, he's not the "real" Liberace...........but none other than our own......................
YGMIR

Unabashed Nordic
Pagan
User avatar
ygmir
 
Posts: 25998
Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2007 8:36 pm
Location: nevada county
Burning Since: 2017
Camp Name: qqqq

Re: tell me a story

Postby OnceTheDustClears » Sun Dec 11, 2011 2:50 pm

Image
User avatar
OnceTheDustClears
 
Posts: 1309
Joined: Sun Jan 18, 2009 5:46 pm

Re: tell me a story

Postby OnceTheDustClears » Sun Dec 11, 2011 3:56 pm

Yep. It actually is him. The one and only. We weren't really all that surprised. We sort of suspected all along.
But what really WAS surprising was the talent he displayed on stage. It was mesmerizing. The crowd was hushed
and then gasped as he ...
User avatar
OnceTheDustClears
 
Posts: 1309
Joined: Sun Jan 18, 2009 5:46 pm

Re: tell me a story

Postby bigdane » Sun Dec 11, 2011 8:37 pm

...recreated Paul Hamm's 2004 Olympic floor exercise...backwards while blindfolded! His moves were so poetic that several burners fell to their knees and....
don't play with matches unless you intend to burn
User avatar
bigdane
 
Posts: 343
Joined: Sat Oct 01, 2011 7:24 pm
Location: somewhere west of my cerebral cortex
Burning Since: 2012
Camp Name: Barbie Death Camp and Wine Bistro

Re: tell me a story

Postby Sail Man » Mon Dec 12, 2011 2:07 pm

ripped off their shirts again began to beat upon the chest's like baboon's, but all the while screeching like macaw's until, one by one they......
Excuse me Ma'am, your going to feel a small prick.
_______________________________________

Algorithms never survive the first thirty seconds of patient contact
User avatar
Sail Man
 
Posts: 4500
Joined: Tue Sep 30, 2008 10:03 am
Location: 20 Minutes into the Future
Burning Since: 2008
Camp Name: Kidsville: Delicious

Re: tell me a story

Postby ygmir » Sun Feb 26, 2012 8:59 am

Stopped, in stunned silence, as a haunting, erotic middle eastern dancer appeared, moving, and gyrating, to the sensual rhythms............driving them wild..........
Entranced, they all assumed the "third world squat" position, and watch, enraptured, as, the dancer removed veils, slowly revealing themselves to be none other than..........
YGMIR

Unabashed Nordic
Pagan
User avatar
ygmir
 
Posts: 25998
Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2007 8:36 pm
Location: nevada county
Burning Since: 2017
Camp Name: qqqq

Re: tell me a story

Postby Sail Man » Sun Feb 26, 2012 9:32 am

Pee Wee Herman! Dressed in a shear, chiffon camisole he moved blithely through the evening air, caught in a personal, sensual reverie. His face shining, entranced and reflecting the moonlight, he slowly reached down with his hands and grasped his........
Excuse me Ma'am, your going to feel a small prick.
_______________________________________

Algorithms never survive the first thirty seconds of patient contact
User avatar
Sail Man
 
Posts: 4500
Joined: Tue Sep 30, 2008 10:03 am
Location: 20 Minutes into the Future
Burning Since: 2008
Camp Name: Kidsville: Delicious

Re: tell me a story

Postby ygmir » Sun Feb 26, 2012 10:11 am

Image

Flugelhorn, and of course, donned his lederhosen, and called in the Alpenband, because, everyone loves Polka!!
And the crowd roared!!..........mesmerized, everyone began the wonder dance and revelry, which surrounds polka, and it's societal sub-set.

All, that is, but one........one, nefarious ner-do-well, infamous, and of ill repute!!
This brigand, also known on (the world famous, and oft imitated) Eplaya, as..........
YGMIR

Unabashed Nordic
Pagan
User avatar
ygmir
 
Posts: 25998
Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2007 8:36 pm
Location: nevada county
Burning Since: 2017
Camp Name: qqqq

Re: tell me a story

Postby maryanimal » Sun Feb 26, 2012 2:14 pm

...Shambala. We all know him as this joval, kind, and helpful exterior, but on the inside lurks the ill-will, the poisonous, forked tongue of a mad man, just waiting to pounce upon a...
Sometimes I'm confused by what I think is really obvious. But what I think is really obvious obviously isn't obvious.
User avatar
maryanimal
 
Posts: 3850
Joined: Wed Jul 28, 2010 9:41 am
Burning Since: 2011

Re: tell me a story

Postby OnceTheDustClears » Sun Feb 26, 2012 9:24 pm

...free cup of coffee and a...
User avatar
OnceTheDustClears
 
Posts: 1309
Joined: Sun Jan 18, 2009 5:46 pm

Re: tell me a story

Postby jella » Sun Feb 26, 2012 9:27 pm

unsuspecting Danish..pastry of course. And he danced around the room in Joy until he came upon a........
Burning Man isn't about the stuff you see when you get there ....it's about the people that brought that stuff there
User avatar
jella
 
Posts: 1779
Joined: Thu Nov 12, 2009 10:01 pm
Location: Escondido, California
Burning Since: 2009
Camp Name: ASSORTED :)

Re: tell me a story

Postby maryanimal » Sun Feb 26, 2012 9:35 pm

...nubile Danish, girl, not pastry. Hey bowed an tipped his hat to her as she curtsied. With a gleam in his eyes, he took her hand in his and he...
Sometimes I'm confused by what I think is really obvious. But what I think is really obvious obviously isn't obvious.
User avatar
maryanimal
 
Posts: 3850
Joined: Wed Jul 28, 2010 9:41 am
Burning Since: 2011

Re: tell me a story

Postby Sail Man » Mon Feb 27, 2012 2:54 pm

began to rip off her Lee Press On nails with his teeth, swallowing them down one by one as she shrieked with feigned anger, as a warmth began to spread between her......
Excuse me Ma'am, your going to feel a small prick.
_______________________________________

Algorithms never survive the first thirty seconds of patient contact
User avatar
Sail Man
 
Posts: 4500
Joined: Tue Sep 30, 2008 10:03 am
Location: 20 Minutes into the Future
Burning Since: 2008
Camp Name: Kidsville: Delicious

Re: tell me a story

Postby OnceTheDustClears » Mon Feb 27, 2012 3:01 pm

ears. She realized it was way too hot to be wearing a faux fur hat. She removed her hat which left her wearing...
User avatar
OnceTheDustClears
 
Posts: 1309
Joined: Sun Jan 18, 2009 5:46 pm

Re: tell me a story

Postby Lassen Forge » Mon Feb 27, 2012 3:13 pm

Donald Trump's toupee'. Sham, mesmerized by the (literal) mop on her head, began to run his trembling fingers through those coarse, fake locks, gazing into her eyes, when all of the sudden she...
User avatar
Lassen Forge
Moderator
 
Posts: 5322
Joined: Tue Feb 22, 2005 10:35 pm
Location: Where it's always... Wednesday. Don't lose your head over it.

Re: tell me a story

Postby maryanimal » Mon Feb 27, 2012 3:25 pm

...grabbed him by the ears and licked his face up one side and down the other. He weas dismayed by the fact her tongue had recently been...
Sometimes I'm confused by what I think is really obvious. But what I think is really obvious obviously isn't obvious.
User avatar
maryanimal
 
Posts: 3850
Joined: Wed Jul 28, 2010 9:41 am
Burning Since: 2011

Re: tell me a story

Postby Lassen Forge » Mon Feb 27, 2012 3:46 pm

...pierced numerous times, and in each piercing was either a small ink pen or a razor-sharp stylus. He turned around - spying a glance of his disfigured face in the reflection of a nearby JOTS service truck, he was petrified, for he knew later that afternoon he was expected to meet with...
User avatar
Lassen Forge
Moderator
 
Posts: 5322
Joined: Tue Feb 22, 2005 10:35 pm
Location: Where it's always... Wednesday. Don't lose your head over it.

Re: tell me a story

Postby FIGJAM » Mon Feb 27, 2012 10:20 pm

Camp Chilies for Willies, but as he approched he notice Eric standing outside shaking his head saying "tisk, tisk, tisk" as the ladies and gentlemen in that camp were dancing VERY oddly and shedding muddy tears.

Eric knew a bad idea when he saw it..........
"Don't buy ur Burn...........Build ur Burn!"

Fuck Im Good Just Ask Me
User avatar
FIGJAM
 
Posts: 7095
Joined: Thu Mar 25, 2010 10:39 am
Location: apache junction az.

Re: tell me a story

Postby FIGJAM » Sat Mar 03, 2012 3:26 pm

.....And told Shambala "Don't go in there, Their doing it wrong!"

Sham replied "Then I must show them a better way!" and with arms flailing wildly over his head he was last seen running into Chilies for Willies to enlighten the multitude with.......
"Don't buy ur Burn...........Build ur Burn!"

Fuck Im Good Just Ask Me
User avatar
FIGJAM
 
Posts: 7095
Joined: Thu Mar 25, 2010 10:39 am
Location: apache junction az.

Re: tell me a story

Postby OnceTheDustClears » Sat Mar 03, 2012 6:00 pm

...a large steaming pot do his homemade chili. The crowd went wild as the chili's reputation was known far and wide for it's special properties. Anyone who even sampled a small taste was suddenly able to...
User avatar
OnceTheDustClears
 
Posts: 1309
Joined: Sun Jan 18, 2009 5:46 pm

Re: tell me a story

Postby lonestoner916 » Fri Mar 09, 2012 3:33 pm

breathe fire. Not only that, but the chili caused intense psychedelic hallucinations that could last up to four days and was more intense than any drug known to man. Also, it was just pretty damn tasty, just the thing after a long night of...
:wink:
User avatar
lonestoner916
 
Posts: 891
Joined: Sun Jul 29, 2007 4:41 pm
Location: Gerlach, Nevada

Re: tell me a story

Postby Bin Noddin » Fri Mar 09, 2012 4:56 pm

watching meteors streak across the night sky. They WERE meteors, weren't they? As the sun rose they stumbled in the general direction of Breakfast Camp, where,
"I have gobs of mustard and ketchup on the front of my shirt, which does not make me a hot dog." Sam A. McKeen
User avatar
Bin Noddin
 
Posts: 2995
Joined: Sat Nov 12, 2005 12:00 am
Location: Silver Spring, MD

PreviousNext

Return to Open Discussion

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests