Troll Bait

Share your views on the policies, philosophies, and spirit of Burning Man.

Troll Bait

Postby Clar-i-ty » Sat Nov 12, 2011 9:18 pm

What are all the things you would change about Burning Man?
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Re: Troll Bait

Postby Sham » Sat Nov 12, 2011 9:35 pm

I would consider moving it to a resort area, like Tahoe or Branson MO for instance. I think having hotels with hot showers and restaurants would be a big improvement. It could even be turned into a full time event with permanent exhibits and attractions that would be fun for the whole family. I envision something more mainstream with animated mascots and characters to attract large crowds--maybe along the lines of a Burning Man theme park.
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Re: Troll Bait

Postby oneeyeddick » Sat Nov 12, 2011 9:39 pm

I would burn the Man on Thursdays instead of on Saturdays.
Last edited by oneeyeddick on Sat Nov 12, 2011 9:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Troll Bait

Postby jkisha » Sat Nov 12, 2011 9:42 pm

Shambala wrote:I would consider moving it to a resort area, like Tahoe or Branson MO for instance. I think having hotels with hot showers and restaurants would be a big improvement. It could even be turned into a full time event with permanent exhibits and attractions that would be fun for the whole family. I envision something more mainstream with animated mascots and characters to attract large crowds--maybe along the lines of a Burning Man theme park.

Maybe then I could convince my butler to go! (it would be a working vacation, of course.)
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Re: Troll Bait

Postby Eric » Sat Nov 12, 2011 9:42 pm

I would only let people in who've been before, but they would have to go through a vetting process. I'm a huge fan of bureaucracy, so there would have to be lots of forms to fill out and lots of required documentation (how long did you spend mooping? Please show your mooping timecards from 1998 - 2006; please show us the quantity of nails purchased for your art project in 2009 & their weight, and the forms showing the weight of nails you removed from the playa the same year; etc) and I'd require each prospect to submit long-form hand written testimonials from people that I personally know to even begin the process.

Of course all entries would have to be approved in full by a board of 12 people chosen entirely by me to fit my vision of the event.

I would also get first choice of the pretty boys, but that's a given.
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Re: Troll Bait

Postby jkisha » Sun Nov 13, 2011 8:44 am

Eric wrote:I would only let people in who've been before, but they would have to go through a vetting process. I'm a huge fan of bureaucracy, so there would have to be lots of forms to fill out and lots of required documentation (how long did you spend mooping? Please show your mooping timecards from 1998 - 2006; please show us the quantity of nails purchased for your art project in 2009 & their weight, and the forms showing the weight of nails you removed from the playa the same year; etc) and I'd require each prospect to submit long-form hand written testimonials from people that I personally know to even begin the process.

Of course all entries would have to be approved in full by a board of 12 people chosen entirely by me to fit my vision of the event.

I would also get first choice of the pretty boys, but that's a given.

Don't we pretty much already do this when we fill out our theme camp applications?
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Re: Troll Bait

Postby unjonharley » Sun Nov 13, 2011 9:13 am

Eric wrote:Of course all entries would have to be approved in full by a board of 12 people chosen entirely by me to fit my vision of the event.

I would also get first choice of the pretty boys, but that's a given.



Are you dis ing my poor old sack of door knobs body??
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Re: Troll Bait

Postby Roberto Dobbisano » Sun Nov 13, 2011 9:43 am

mandatory sunrise naked yoga.

second tier/higher price for those who want to use two-ply they brought with them.

stetsons for everyone.

offer time shares at Fly...
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Re: Troll Bait

Postby wh..sh » Sun Nov 13, 2011 10:08 am

Shambala wrote:I would consider moving it to a resort area, like Tahoe or Branson MO for instance. I think having hotels with hot showers and restaurants would be a big improvement. It could even be turned into a full time event with permanent exhibits and attractions that would be fun for the whole family. I envision something more mainstream with animated mascots and characters to attract large crowds--maybe along the lines of a Burning Man theme park.


Adding to your suggestions, how about we ban alcohol?
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Re: Troll Bait

Postby ygmir » Sun Nov 13, 2011 10:13 am

wh..sh wrote:
Shambala wrote:I would consider moving it to a resort area, like Tahoe or Branson MO for instance. I think having hotels with hot showers and restaurants would be a big improvement. It could even be turned into a full time event with permanent exhibits and attractions that would be fun for the whole family. I envision something more mainstream with animated mascots and characters to attract large crowds--maybe along the lines of a Burning Man theme park.


Adding to your suggestions, how about we ban alcohol?


which would lead to a ban on fornication.
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Re: Troll Bait

Postby Simon of the Playa » Sun Nov 13, 2011 10:20 am

east coast ghetto where we can bitch and moan about how much more we have to endure and prepare for the burn and thats why we are so fucking bitter.

on that note, a free service for east coasters to receive, store and transport contraband to the playa because you can only shove so much up your ass while flying into reno.
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Re: Troll Bait

Postby ygmir » Sun Nov 13, 2011 10:55 am

Simon of the Playa wrote:east coast ghetto where we can bitch and moan about how much more we have to endure and prepare for the burn and thats why we are so fucking bitter.

on that note, a free service for east coasters to receive, store and transport contraband to the playa because you can only shove so much up your ass while flying into reno.



colostomy bag.............
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Re: Troll Bait

Postby FIGJAM » Sun Nov 13, 2011 10:59 am

Let there be pornadoes!
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Re: Troll Bait

Postby Simon of the Playa » Sun Nov 13, 2011 11:35 am

ygmir wrote:
Simon of the Playa wrote:east coast ghetto where we can bitch and moan about how much more we have to endure and prepare for the burn and thats why we are so fucking bitter.

on that note, a free service for east coasters to receive, store and transport contraband to the playa because you can only shove so much up your ass while flying into reno.



colostomy bag.............


where would i put my colostomies then?
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Re: Troll Bait

Postby Sham » Sun Nov 13, 2011 12:09 pm

Simon of the Playa wrote:where would i put my colostomies then?


I KNOW, I KNOW--PICK ME! :shock:
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Re: Troll Bait

Postby ygmir » Sun Nov 13, 2011 12:53 pm

Simon of the Playa wrote:
ygmir wrote:
Simon of the Playa wrote:east coast ghetto where we can bitch and moan about how much more we have to endure and prepare for the burn and thats why we are so fucking bitter.

on that note, a free service for east coasters to receive, store and transport contraband to the playa because you can only shove so much up your ass while flying into reno.



colostomy bag.............


where would i put my colostomies then?



in the coloset.
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Re: Troll Bait

Postby Sail Man » Sun Nov 13, 2011 12:59 pm

ygmir wrote:
wh..sh wrote:
Shambala wrote:I would consider moving it to a resort area, like Tahoe or Branson MO for instance. I think having hotels with hot showers and restaurants would be a big improvement. It could even be turned into a full time event with permanent exhibits and attractions that would be fun for the whole family. I envision something more mainstream with animated mascots and characters to attract large crowds--maybe along the lines of a Burning Man theme park.


Adding to your suggestions, how about we ban alcohol?


which would lead to a ban on fornication.


There's fornication at burning man? :shock:
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Re: Troll Bait

Postby Sham » Sun Nov 13, 2011 2:17 pm

By fornication, do you mean building large wooden structures to set a blaze at the end of the week? :roll:
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Re: Troll Bait

Postby FIGJAM » Sun Nov 13, 2011 2:21 pm

That would be firenication.
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Re: Troll Bait

Postby Sham » Sun Nov 13, 2011 3:07 pm

By firenication do mean fucking someone so long and hard that you actually cause flames to emanate from their crotchal area?
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Re: Troll Bait

Postby Sail Man » Sun Nov 13, 2011 3:34 pm

Shambala wrote:By firenication do mean fucking someone so long and hard that you actually cause flames to emanate from their crotchal area?


Brings a whole new meaning to "Fire in the hole!"
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Re: Troll Bait

Postby FIGJAM » Sun Nov 13, 2011 4:56 pm

Shambala wrote:By firenication do mean fucking someone so long and hard that you actually cause flames to emanate from their crotchal area?


I never needed a wooden structure or a whole week for that activity, but maybe I'm doing it wrong or you're more creative. 8)
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Re: Troll Bait

Postby Sham » Sun Nov 13, 2011 7:02 pm

Now that you mention it, I have been using this as a lubricant.
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Re: Troll Bait

Postby wh..sh » Sun Nov 13, 2011 7:22 pm

Shambala wrote:Now that you mention it, I have been using this as a lubricant.
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Re: Troll Bait

Postby TomServo » Sun Nov 13, 2011 8:05 pm

bring back the drive by shooting range!
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Re: Troll Bait

Postby sandgoddess » Sun Nov 13, 2011 8:17 pm

The poor Man needs a partner with all that pffffffornicatin' going on. I'm pretty sure he's bi and doesn't give a rip what he fucks as he burns.
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Re: Troll Bait

Postby Nipple » Sun Nov 13, 2011 8:22 pm

GUYS!

This whole LOTTERY thing is getting out of control.

I just got my email saying I had won a $120 tier ticket in the opt-in, invitation only, secret squirrel beta test lottery!

It was SUPER easy.
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Re: Troll Bait

Postby wh..sh » Sun Nov 13, 2011 8:32 pm

Nipple wrote:I just got my email saying I had won a $120 tier ticket in the opt-in, invitation only, secret squirrel beta test lottery!



And I was just offered of $47,500,000 by the Nigerian family. I am buying Burning Man. It was super EASY!
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Re: Troll Bait

Postby kingsoon » Sun Nov 13, 2011 10:07 pm

wh..sh wrote:
Nipple wrote:I just got my email saying I had won a $120 tier ticket in the opt-in, invitation only, secret squirrel beta test lottery!



And I was just offered of $47,500,000 by the Nigerian family. I am buying Burning Man. It was super EASY!



I am are hoping, to hearing back at you soon for your helping offer. For much cash and expertly finance.
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Re: Troll Bait

Postby Clar-i-ty » Mon Nov 14, 2011 8:17 am

Shambala wrote:Now that you mention it, I have been using this as a lubricant.
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And let the board say "FUCK YEAH!"
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