....or maybe some tequila, a few lemons and some salt.
I moved into this recovery house just 3 months ago...though it feels like 6. I came with an open mind towards A.A. I've done meetings before, but thought maybe I wasn't really taking it seriously. Maybe it's the location (Bakersfield), but I'm starting to have serious doubts, surrounding the "purpose" of alcoholics anonymous, it's real motives....and the motives of certain speakers...and it's bible thumping undertones (they've hijacked agnosticism and twisted it into some creepy recruiting tool). The meetings, once tolerable..and sometimes enjoyable, are becoming more and more grating. The self depreciation, the self pity and downright arrogance towards those that are incapable of accepting the program..are really wearing me down. I didn't want a drink when I got here, and have surprisingly had no urges to drink...until now.
Returning from an A.A. meeting in Oildale, we stopped by a book burning. Our driver's wife was involved in that little party. It all made me extremely uncomfortable, and was glad when we got the fuck out of there. We had all been invited to a meeting that Saturday, when a "prophet" (their word not mine) was supposed to speak. I'm normally accepting of all faiths, practices and degrees of sanity, but when religious intolerance becomes popular and socially acceptable, it becomes a huge problem for me. In the name of sobriety? It would have made a lot more sense, if they were all shit faced drunk. Our house was not affiliated with that particular group, but everyone...except me.. attended that "revival."
"Religion is like a penis
It's fine to have one
It's fine to be proud of it
But please don't whip it out in public and start waving it around
And Please don't try to shove it down my children's throat!"
- thank you for posting that jkisha!
....that, and the 10 principles, I use on a daily basis, to keep my sanity in this program.
I'm convinced that A.A. is a cult. I became completely convinced of that, at our last book study. I even make the Kool Aid in this house. Seriously! I make 5 gallons of it each day, as one of my house chores.
Some of the Truly religious, in this house, must share my sentiment. Last Wednesday, a new house mate and hardcore christian left after only 3 hours. Minutes before he ran out, I caught him screaming obscenities, at Satan, in the kitchen.
I've made a promise, to a few friends and family members, that I would stick with this program....and I will, completely sober. But I long for that day, when I can sip on that dirty martini, and recall my time spent at the "stupid museum." My room mate came up with that one. He plans on making a career out of this shit.