My pround experience - shared with you

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My pround experience - shared with you

Postby flower_2011 » Thu Sep 08, 2011 3:20 pm

Hello Fellow Burners,

I lost my virginity this year and it was such a profound experience. This experience allowed me to open my mind so deeply. Becoming in touch with my inner self. I was so scared as slipped from reality into my deepest inner most thoughts. I was scared to see the turmoil I had inside. I fought myself to release that anger, frustration and negative thoughts. I felt fear escaping and comfort entering. Eventually, I surrendered and I finally felt settled, balanced and peaceful.

I felt at ease with myself, rejuvenated and unashamed. And from this I felt ambitious like I wanted to hug everyone, make people smile, give everything I had to anyone who wanted/needed it. I gave back unconditional love, friendship, and true kindness.

It was truly beautiful.

But now that I'm away from the playa... I find myself lost in these thoughts. I wonder.... how do I retain this peace and serenity? This inner happiness and confidence? How do I continue to give without expectations? To be nice to all people, without judgment? How do I remember to be humble and to remind myself to keep learning? I understand that so many things are much bigger than I am - that there’s a vastness to life and I should embrace it, but I feel so lost.

How do you cope and manage the next 51 weeks?
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Re: My pround experience - shared with you

Postby junglesmacks » Thu Sep 08, 2011 3:24 pm

Vodka. Lots of it.









(..with a side order of Eplaya..)
Savannah wrote:It sounds freaky & wrong, so you need to do it.
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Re: My pround experience - shared with you

Postby ibdave » Thu Sep 08, 2011 6:25 pm

or Masturbation.... and yes, LOTS of it.... 8) 8) 8)

i don't drink, but for those who do...

BOTH
I was Born OK the 1st Time....

Don't bring defaultia to Burning Man, take Burning Man to defaultia...... graidawg
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Re: My pround experience - shared with you

Postby The CO » Thu Sep 08, 2011 7:45 pm

Flower, welcome to decompression.

Talk to your local burner community. If you don't have one, start one.

If you can't start one, look at the ways that you personally can spread what YOU love about BRC around your community. As simple as complimenting everyone you meet up to making awesome art because you can... no other reason.

Take what you love about Burning Man, and spread it around wherever you live.

Plus, you have 51 weeks to plan for NEXT YEAR!
M*A*S*H 4207th: An army of fun.
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Re: My pround experience - shared with you

Postby bluesbob » Thu Sep 08, 2011 11:52 pm

Fuck...I thought it was going to be a sex story.
"aw shucks.." - Eric
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Re: My pround experience - shared with you

Postby joy_rider » Fri Sep 09, 2011 12:16 pm

AT BM, I realized that...

In life, if you have a "giving" attitude, you will receive good things.

"Giving" doesn't always mean material things... it can be a friendly demeanor, capacity to love, ability to see beauty in the mundane...

My goal is to keep "gifting" post BM... whether it's being a good friend, a hard-worker, etc... BM has inspired me to be a more giving person. :)
"Buy the ticket, take the ride."
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Re: My pround experience - shared with you

Postby flower_2011 » Fri Sep 09, 2011 2:07 pm

The CO wrote:Flower, welcome to decompression.

Talk to your local burner community. If you don't have one, start one.

If you can't start one, look at the ways that you personally can spread what YOU love about BRC around your community. As simple as complimenting everyone you meet up to making awesome art because you can... no other reason.

Take what you love about Burning Man, and spread it around wherever you live.

Plus, you have 51 weeks to plan for NEXT YEAR!


Thanks for your advice! I appreciate it. Great idea...I will find my local burner community or start one. It would be great to be around other burners. You're absolutely right - I will spread my new-found gifts to others in every way that I can. Believe me I'm already thinking of next year - in fact I can't stop :)
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Re: My pround experience - shared with you

Postby flower_2011 » Fri Sep 09, 2011 2:22 pm

joy_rider wrote:AT BM, I realized that...

In life, if you have a "giving" attitude, you will receive good things.

"Giving" doesn't always mean material things... it can be a friendly demeanor, capacity to love, ability to see beauty in the mundane...

My goal is to keep "gifting" post BM... whether it's being a good friend, a hard-worker, etc... BM has inspired me to be a more giving person. :)


Yes, you're absolutely right. BM also inspired me to be a more giving person - it's so prevalent on the playa that it was easy to adopt this attitude.
(((((((HUG)))))))))
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Re: My pround experience - shared with you

Postby CapSmashy » Sat Sep 10, 2011 10:49 am

flower_2011 wrote:Thanks for your advice! I appreciate it. Great idea...I will find my local burner community or start one. It would be great to be around other burners. You're absolutely right - I will spread my new-found gifts to others in every way that I can. Believe me I'm already thinking of next year - in fact I can't stop :)


Welcome to the nightmare of addiction and Burning Man. :)

And thank you for being one of those that helps to rejuvenate the jaded burner veterans. I can feel the bubbly excitement and beaming grin plastered from ear to ear all the way over here.

Do not be concerned, offended or turned off by the blank stares you will receive from friends and family as you gush about your experiences you had this year. If they have not been there, they will not understand and that's okay. When we get on a roll talking about stuff, we can see the glazed expression of confusion settle onto their faces as we yabber on incessantly about giant rabbits shooting fire from their eyes, sparkle ponies and other related "you would understand if you were there" stories.

Keep your focus in planning for next year. Second yearitis is a very real and very complicated condition and can lead to all manner of horrors like draining your bank accounts, maxing credit cards and the ever present feeling of "FUCK! THERE'S ONLY 42 WEEKS UNTIL THE MAN BURNS!!!! HOW WILL I EVER FINISH ALL OF THIS!!!!!!!!"
Playawaste Raiders cordially invites you to suck it.
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Re: My pround experience - shared with you

Postby The CO » Sat Sep 10, 2011 10:53 am

CapSmashy wrote:And thank you for being one of those that helps to rejuvenate the jaded burner veterans. I can feel the bubbly excitement and beaming grin plastered from ear to ear all the way over here.


This!

I saw the burn from several new sets of eyes from the birgins in our camp. It truly makes ones soul sing to be able to share that with people.

That reminds me, I need to get those eyeballs back to the organ donor department....
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Yes, I am the arbiter of doing it right or wrong. Guess which one you are!
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Re: My pround experience - shared with you

Postby OregonRed » Sat Sep 10, 2011 11:05 am

The CO wrote:
CapSmashy wrote:And thank you for being one of those that helps to rejuvenate the jaded burner veterans. I can feel the bubbly excitement and beaming grin plastered from ear to ear all the way over here.


This!

I saw the burn from several new sets of eyes from the birgins in our camp. It truly makes ones soul sing to be able to share that with people.

That reminds me, I need to get those eyeballs back to the organ donor department....


Smashy... I remember your first Burn... What a cute stealth birgin you were!!!

I second the statements from both Smashy and The CO, birgins help to remind us how our playa addiction started and why.

flower~ eplaya saved me when I was tired of the blank stares from people who just don't get it. Remember, we are here and with only a few gentle strokes of the keyboard, you will find us. And we get it.
M*A*S*H 4207 We're not doctors.

"Just be yourself. All the good personalities are taken." stolen from my amazing friend Dwayne Gerken's fb status post.

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Re: My pround experience - shared with you

Postby flower_2011 » Sat Sep 10, 2011 6:07 pm

Smashy and oregan red - it's so nice to know that you're here - sharing the feelings that I have :) Thank you!!

Smashy - you said it - gushing is the perfect word. Indeed I am grinning from ear to ear and will be until next year! My mission is to keep on smiling - bc when I do, it reminds me to find beauty in simplicity - which connects me to burningman. Making others smile is just one teeny way to keep the spirit alive.

I do wish there was a mini-burningman reunion of some sort at the 6 month mark. Hmmmph.
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Re: My pround experience - shared with you

Postby RedHeaven » Tue Sep 13, 2011 10:15 pm

I go see live hippy music and dance. Thats my cure. I know I am in the minority, though but there is a small percentage of Burners who do the same thing :mrgreen: Its good to remind myself that I love other things besides Burning Man, like bands and music (that you cant easily find in Black Rock)

That and put my love and ambition into creating something for not just the next Bman, but for my whole life!! Let the inspiration wash over you like piss blood bacon grease and lemonade pouring from a purple sky. :mrgreen:
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Re: My pround experience - shared with you

Postby graidawg » Tue Sep 13, 2011 10:21 pm

flower (what a pretty name) i feel so drained being so far from BM and the apathy london seems to generate so reading posts like yours bring that playa smile to my face, so you are gifting just by asking how to keep BRC alive till next time
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Re: My pround experience - shared with you

Postby flower_2011 » Wed Sep 14, 2011 10:36 am

Thanks, Redheaven - music always inspires me, too. :)

Graidawg - I'm smiling now, too - so thanks to you! I know what you mean - a year does seem daunting. But I've been focused on keeping the burningman spirit alive. It's been good yet challenging as "real life" consumes me. But sharing my experience with others, talking to other burners and getting lost in the happy memories/thoughts help to renew my BM feelings :) Maybe part of the challenge of BM is to live the lessons I learned every day?
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Re: My pround experience - shared with you

Postby Savannah » Wed Sep 14, 2011 11:01 am

I will be spending the next year trying to sneak up on things I am afraid of, creatively and developmentally. They're things I would want to do anyway, but (based on past results) the Burn provides greater motivation--not to mention a deadline. There are things that I have learned to do years earlier than I would've learned them otherwise, simply because I had the Burn to help motivate me.
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Re: My pround experience - shared with you

Postby mars » Wed Sep 14, 2011 11:27 am

Flower,

As you can tell from of the responses...your reaction is entirely normal. It almost reminds me of a person's first psychedelic drug trip. What I would say, though, is don't try to control or force anything.

Do the same thing you did on the playa, open yourself up to what is in front of you and allow your life energy to flow as it needs to. This means accepting where and who you are. For me, Burning Man has been both an experience in giving and an experience in self acceptance. It has been an experience of pushing my limits and accepting my limits. An experience of celebrating the gift from life and others and celebrating my own gifts.

Coming home from a life changing experience like burning man can be really challenging. You got a glimpse into who you really are...now allow the process of life to gently move you in that direction.

One of my own challenges right now is that a really good friend of mine, in fact the person who took me to my first burn 9 years ago, has not gone to the last three burns and she really doesn't want to hear anything about it. I am so full of the burn that it's nearly impossible for me to not include it in my conversations with her. Do I stay away from this person that I usually enjoy spending time with, do I see her and try to squelch my energy and enthusiasm for burning man? Neither sounds right to me. I just invited her out to lunch tomorrow...will do my best to generously give her space and attention...and if she can't do that for me, I will be honest about how that feels. Working to accept both where she is and where I am.
Live as if everyone loves you and thinks you look great. Dance as if no one is watching.
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Re: My pround experience - shared with you

Postby Mojojita » Wed Sep 14, 2011 3:04 pm

Really, Burning Man stripped down is, after all, just a big camping trip in the desert. Everything you brought away from it was brought in by you and the people around you. It did not give you what you did not already know in your heart. That knowledge keeps it close to me for the other 50 weeks of the year. You will find yourself really caring more about not wasting water, picking up litter, etc....

The others are right, eplaya is a way to stay connected to the other addlepated playa lovers....
Ut ballista es interdico, tantum interdico mos fui ballista.
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Re: My pround experience - shared with you

Postby trilobyte » Wed Sep 14, 2011 3:55 pm

What they all said. :) Look around and find that regional group. Some actually DO something at the 6 month mark (in SF, we have the BURNal Equinox), others have their own gatherings as well as decompressions and precompressions. If you're in a spot that doesn't have a regional group close by, use ePlaya or scour the theme camp list to find other burners from your area. Regardless of who you may camp with, they're like-minded folks who may be able to help you connect with events in the area you live.

Congrats on the wonderful burn, and hope to see you out there next year!
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