**GIFT GIVEN** ONE TICKET GIFTED CREATIVE WRITING NEEDED

**GIFT GIVEN** ONE TICKET GIFTED CREATIVE WRITING NEEDED

Postby BlazeBrugger » Thu Aug 04, 2011 7:14 pm

In the spirit of Burning Man, we happen to have one extra ticket that we are willing to gift to someone. Sounds too good to be true right? Just need to be the first person to respond right? Well no. See we have this extra ticket because a good friend of mine won't be able to join us for what was to be her first year at Burning Man. So I'm kinda down in the dumps. So I need some laughs. That's where you come in. The person who writes me the funniest story by midnight pacific daylight time on Aug 12, 2011 will be gifted this ticket.

This is no joke. The ticket is in hand and will be sent to you via express mail still stapled to it's receipt. We're not looking to recoup any cost as we were originally gifting this ticket to our friend.

Now some rules. No topic is off limits. It just has to be funny. It can be as short or as long as you want. All submission must be emailed to blazebrugger at gmail dot com. I'm assuming you can figure out what to replace where in that statement. You will be notified of winning via return email and asked for an address as to where to mail your ticket to at that time.

So if you want a FREE ticket, get your creative writing juices flowing and give me some funny stories! :D
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Re: OFFERED: ONE TICKET GIFTED CREATIVE WRITING NEEDED

Postby trilobyte » Thu Aug 04, 2011 7:18 pm

Sounds like a really fun idea, I hope you get some excellent submissions. Thanks for posting this.
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Re: OFFERED: ONE TICKET GIFTED CREATIVE WRITING NEEDED

Postby tkinsd » Thu Aug 04, 2011 7:20 pm

That's a great idea!
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Re: OFFERED: ONE TICKET GIFTED CREATIVE WRITING NEEDED

Postby whitestar » Thu Aug 04, 2011 7:27 pm

I love you!

Writing new knock-knocks as we speak.
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Re: OFFERED: ONE TICKET GIFTED CREATIVE WRITING NEEDED

Postby Buckner » Thu Aug 04, 2011 7:30 pm

I would guess that you would check that the winning story writer hasn't procured a ticket via some other means before you award them the ticket? Only asking since there is a week between start of submissions and your choosing of the winner...
And great idea!!!
Thanks
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Re: OFFERED: ONE TICKET GIFTED CREATIVE WRITING NEEDED

Postby BlazeBrugger » Thu Aug 04, 2011 8:07 pm

Of course! Thank you for pointing that out! I wanted to give people time to see the post and time to write. But I'll definitly check to see if they procured a ticket already before sending. And to all those submitting, I ask that you keep this in the faith of burning man gifting economy. If you don't need the ticket, don't submit a story.
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Re: OFFERED: ONE TICKET GIFTED CREATIVE WRITING NEEDED

Postby Twisted Whispers » Thu Aug 04, 2011 8:08 pm

Post edited by moderator to remove plagiarism. Please note, this poster has also sold tickets at far above face value, and engaged in the use of alt accounts and deception to obtain tickets.

Hopefully any future submissions are original, and are submitted via email as requested by the original poster.
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Re: OFFERED: ONE TICKET GIFTED CREATIVE WRITING NEEDED

Postby Sic Pup » Thu Aug 04, 2011 8:14 pm

You do know everyone here is on the Internet, yes?

http://www.tuckermax.com/stories/the-midget-story/

Not even the sense to edit out the Tucker references.

Plagiaristic post removed by moderator, the details aren't necessary. The link can be clicked, and the original poster requested submissions via email anyway.
Last edited by Sic Pup on Thu Aug 04, 2011 8:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: OFFERED: ONE TICKET GIFTED CREATIVE WRITING NEEDED

Postby KasiaB » Thu Aug 04, 2011 8:19 pm

not only are we connected to the net but we also read you shitty post trying to sell your burning man ticket for $1200 the other day. You should be ashamed
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Re: OFFERED: ONE TICKET GIFTED CREATIVE WRITING NEEDED

Postby Twisted Whispers » Thu Aug 04, 2011 8:29 pm

KasiaB wrote:not only are we connected to the net but we also read you shitty post trying to sell your burning man ticket for $1200 the other day. You should be ashamed


Or I am Tucker
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Re: OFFERED: ONE TICKET GIFTED CREATIVE WRITING NEEDED

Postby KasiaB » Thu Aug 04, 2011 8:35 pm

in you oh so shitty post where you claimed you broke your leg and tried to sell your BM ticket for $1200 you said you were a girl. It looks like you're just a big 'ol liar.
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Re: OFFERED: ONE TICKET GIFTED CREATIVE WRITING NEEDED

Postby sparklefairyprincess » Thu Aug 04, 2011 8:41 pm

Hello, my name is Kate Schofield, and I just sent you THREE amazing funny mindblowing stories to your email address. I am serious. I am a writer. I am a creative genius. I am original, unique, and sexy, and I DID NOT STEAL MY SHIT OFF THE INTERNET like some person did before me... hmpf!!! Well, Please be sure to read my stories and respond, even if I'm not the winner... I would just love feedback on my writing, and can garuntee that I am a funny bundle of sparkles and cuteness and philosophical magicalness. I have even offered to write you your very OWN epic poem, story, or play if you choose me!!! Please please please check your email and get to reading and laughing and getting your mind blown!!! I LOVE YOU JUST FOR OFFERING THIS!!!!!!!
SUPER GIRL!!!!
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Re: OFFERED: ONE TICKET GIFTED CREATIVE WRITING NEEDED

Postby jsierra » Thu Aug 04, 2011 9:59 pm

I'm sure you've either played "pigs" or you have heard/seen the game. Basically, it is a "dice" game where you have two pigs and you roll them hoping they land in certain positions. In short, you roll and score/lose points. You can stop and "bank" points and if your pigs touch, then you "pig out" and go back to 0 points. First to 21 wins. The way we've always played is if any person/team has 0 points when another person/team wins the game then you MUST do a naked lap around the house..............

With that being said, I invited some friends over to my house for some dinner, drinks, games. Myself, Angela (my girlfriend), Karla (a very loud and animated Peruvian girl), Luke, Sunni (Brendan's girlfriend), and Brendan (a VERY loud, expressive, non-PC, competitive, yet hilarious Irishman).

We have dinner and drinks and decide to play "Pigs". Team 1: Angela and myself. Team 2: Karla and Sunni. Team 3: Luke and Brendan. Before we start playing, we try and establish that we are going to let the "naked lap" rule subside for the night due to Karla and Angela not wanting the option of having to be naked that particular night. To say the least, Brendan wasn't having it! "Fuck you and fuck you and fuck you and fuck you!!!.....We are playing this game and you ASSHOLES are going to get naked and do a lap around this damn house cause Luke and I are about to kick ALL of your fat, ethnic, whiney ASSES!", yelled Brendan. In a heated debated over this, we all subsided and let the loud, drunken Irishman have his way.

We start playing. Luke and Brendan jump out to an early lead, while Team 1 and Team 2 are struggling to break into double digits. Angela and I are up and we "pig out"......back to 0.........with the pigs in Brendan's hands. Brendan decides that he's "going for it" and does everything Irishmanly possible to get 21 points and send us on our nude voyage around my house. Unfortunately Brendan, in all his glory and cheer, PIGGED OUT and sent him and his solemn partner at the time back to 0. Needless to say, when those bright little pink piggies came back into my hands, I had no choice but to go for the gold....and I found the pot at the end of the rainbow!!!

Before you knew it, we had 21 points, Karla was hyperventilating from laughing, Luke and Brendan were stripping off their clothes, and we were all toasting the naked men before they went off on their journey. Then, they were off, with Karla right behind, snapping a photo or two of the naked duo.

We all laughed and cried from the irony of Brendan's loud and obnoxious mandates of the "naked lap" rule, only to have himself running around my house in a mountainous area of Colorado, with not much lighting beyond that of the moon, to prance his white, naked body around a house he had never visited before. THE STORY ONLY GETS BETTER!

1 minutes passes, 2 minutes pass, then 3. It seems like these guys are taking awhile to run around my house naked. HMMMMMM????? Just when this sparks conversation, Luke walks in the door looking like he saw a "dude fucking a midget" (reference from sicman's post). "What's the problem Luke", I stated? "Where's Brendan"?

Luke: Ummmm......theres a big hole in your back yard????

Me: Big hole? I'm not sure what the hell you're talking about?............................OH MY GOD!!!!! (lightbulb goes off)..........

In walks in Brendan, pissed off and covered in SHIT!.......my shit! (2 days earlier, I had septic issues and had parts of my leech field dug up to find the problem, uncovering a 3-4 foot wide by 3-4 foot deep hole, filled with sewage.)

At this point, I tell everyone the story and the place ERUPTS in laughter!!!!! Irony and Karma in place and at work!! The Irishman had been "shat" into sobriety and went off into the restroom to yell and scream and clean himself off. Sunni went in as well to help calm his soul and nurture his nude ass! The rest of us remained in the living room, listening to Brendan rant and rave about the entire incident. Trying to keep our smiles and laughs at bay, we found ourselves in a state of quietness. This lasted until the Peruvian Karla, who can't help from being loud when she is excited, shouts "Oh moy Gawd goyz, look at dees!", as she absolutely is falling down while looking at her camera! STORY GETS BETTER!

She falls down and is trying to hand off the camera as Luke is trying to grab it from her. I jump into action and take it from her before Luke has the chance to view and erase and potential blackmail photography it might have had. What I have before my eyes is one of THE BEST blackmail photos I have ever seen in my life!

To put this into perspective, I had a wrap around deck outside of my door that the two gentlemen exited/re-entered from/into. I also had two dogs at the time who would "use" the deck as they needed. As they left the house, Luke was in front with Brendan following. Turning to his Left aroud the corner to start doing his "lap", Luke noticed fresh dog shit at his bare feet. He suddenly puts his left hand on the corner of the house and thrust his body (mostly his ass) back, in fear of stepping in "shit". In the picture this is portrayed perfectly! In the meantime, Brendan has no clue and is looking back at Karla who was taking the picture and walking directly into Luke. Brendan's left arm was positioned perfectly and you could tell he was on the verge of grabbing those wanting, awaiting hips of Luke's. Hahahaahahaah!!!!! I'm cracking up thinking about this!

Brendan hears the ruckus and decides to come out of hiding at this point. He sees the photo and at this point becomes so insanely pissed off, yet slapped across the face so hard, that he has no choice but to join in the laughter and hilarity of what the situation had become!

**** I definitely don't think that someone falling in shit is necessarily funny, but in this situation, it was probably one of the most hilarious events I have ever been part of and witnessed first hand. Hope you enjoyed it!.......NOW let's go to Burning Man! Please!
Livin on love
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Re: OFFERED: ONE TICKET GIFTED CREATIVE WRITING NEEDED

Postby Morganja999 » Sat Aug 06, 2011 10:07 pm

About to get my creative writing juices flowing!!!!!! Hahahah & about to deliver you some uproarious, gut-busting, side-splitting stories!!!! Much love to you for posting this!!!!!!Really thank for individuals like you ....I'm off!!!!!!!' {~•••••••••
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Re: OFFERED: ONE TICKET GIFTED CREATIVE WRITING NEEDED

Postby Mansoon » Sun Aug 07, 2011 3:36 am

Few recent Fb conversations (I know I'm "supposed" to NOT go by my playa name in Default or D World — though I think it's really more of a C-world— , but I just got eager and changed my FB). Prob puts me in the "special" category more than the "gifted," but I just wanted you to know what you're in for once I submit my actual story in a few days.

Drea Bolen:
Testies are funny sounding
Thursday at 11:26pm ·

Mansoon Brc: Saying that makes them even more testy...

Drea Bolen: My point is not incorrect though. I just keep smiling

Mansoon Brc: Well, not exactly correct. "Testes" are the plural for "testicles." "Testies" would be the plural for "a person who is testy." Don't mean to "belabia" the point;o) um, belabor …

••••••••••••••••••
Spat Cannon:
holy crow that was a lot of fun! i bet those ladies who wanted to fire me from their imaginary bar are kicking themselves in the pants over all of the hypothetical business they would have lost.
Friday at 2:41am ·

Mansoon Brc: That supposition built on hypothetical premises is something to take a possible flyer on, IMHO
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Re: OFFERED: ONE TICKET GIFTED CREATIVE WRITING NEEDED

Postby BlazeBrugger » Wed Aug 10, 2011 9:56 pm

As a reminder to everyone there are still TWO days left in the contest for a FREE gifted ticket to 2011 burning man. I've read some funny stories but none knocked me silly enough to say this one will win for sure, so there's still room at the top for you!
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Re: OFFERED: ONE TICKET GIFTED CREATIVE WRITING NEEDED

Postby mossimos7 » Thu Aug 11, 2011 12:24 am

Thank you so much for being a true burner!!!!
I've had some really rough times most recently after exauhsting so much of my daily energy flow keeping my mild mannered mood.
well, what can you do when others are in need of the energy more?
i still know i am going to the burn this year regardless of the outcome of this contest or whether i buy a ticket or not...
power of magnetism and the universe...
i have felt a pull towards the burn for years now yet stayed away, instead doing other sorts of soul searching
This year i know i have much to contribute intangibly as well as tangible
all of the love to all of my family
let us all meet together at the center of the earth
we shall be born anew
Moss Marten
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Re: OFFERED: ONE TICKET GIFTED CREATIVE WRITING NEEDED

Postby tibet1988 » Thu Aug 11, 2011 12:42 am

I don't need a ticket, but I think this is really awesome of you and I hope that you find some awesome and hilarious person.
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Re: OFFERED: ONE TICKET GIFTED CREATIVE WRITING NEEDED

Postby farrahnorthstar » Fri Aug 12, 2011 10:36 am

hello
I hope u still have your ticket and I feel bad asking for it when so many other wonderful people are asking too.

i never expected bm to sell out so I spent my savings on my art car cause the dead lines for it are much sooner. I was gonna buy the ticket once I made sure the art car stopped sucking my savings; then bm sold out.. now i have an approved art car and i don't have a ticket :(

here's some pics of my art car. it's not the fanciest but has cost me a little over a couple of thousand dollars and many sleepless nights so far. i'm really bummed out and afraid to miss bm.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/64491410@N05/5886026132/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/64491410@N05/5885457845/

i'd gladly pay u face value and also gift you some fur. i have some white, black, baby pink and purple fur. its 2 inches thick very luxurious and amazing to the touch. its really warm and would make amazing hats, vests and other playa gear :)

thank you for your consideration.
pls txt or call or email me
farrah
209-922-6003
farrahnorthstar@yahoo.com
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Re: OFFERED: ONE TICKET GIFTED CREATIVE WRITING NEEDED

Postby Psychocybin420 » Fri Aug 12, 2011 5:34 pm

awsome!
If cocaine were legal, would they sell it in little packages like Sweet N' Low? Would they call it Sweet N' High?
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Re: OFFERED: ONE TICKET GIFTED CREATIVE WRITING NEEDED

Postby xi » Fri Aug 12, 2011 6:59 pm

I love this idea. Will you post the winning story/joke here for all of us to read?
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Re: OFFERED: ONE TICKET GIFTED CREATIVE WRITING NEEDED

Postby gyre » Fri Aug 12, 2011 11:19 pm

I'm just trying to figure out the animal you get pink and purple fur from.


I'm not sure i want to guess about baby pink fur.
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Re: OFFERED: ONE TICKET GIFTED CREATIVE WRITING NEEDED

Postby Hedda » Mon Aug 15, 2011 9:03 am

who won?
namaste, in lakesh, be well
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Re: OFFERED: ONE TICKET GIFTED CREATIVE WRITING NEEDED

Postby Mansoon » Tue Aug 16, 2011 7:33 pm

Well, I think the detail is that they wouldn't SAY the person, maybe, but they should at least announce that the contest is closed...
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Re: OFFERED: ONE TICKET GIFTED CREATIVE WRITING NEEDED

Postby jamesrust » Tue Aug 16, 2011 7:54 pm

Thank you souch for the ticket it arrived today! Can't wait to go, really I can't wait!

To everyone else who tried but failed to win the ticket hard luck! But don't you still go! I have one burning man ticket for sale, the receipt is still stapled to the ticket. Asking price starts at 500. Get bidding!

Only joking just been reading this and I got a bit bored. Sorry just a joke.

Anyone where I can get a ticket though?
been travelling through south n central america for just over a year now and i'm ready to return home. is it possible i can get a ticket still? i don't have a car, i'm alone, do you think burning man is still an option to end my travelling?
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Re: **RESULT** ONE TICKET GIFTED CREATIVE WRITING NEEDED

Postby BlazeBrugger » Tue Aug 23, 2011 8:31 pm

It took a long time to review: there were a total of 59 submissions, many funny, some worth a grin, some not so much, and a number that were just odd. Some of the stream of consciousness ones sounded like a trip to me. A few were short, and many were very, very long.

The winning entry is about as safe for gentle ears as the playa:
On to the good stuff going to describe the antics of myself and some of my friends over the course of one night during a kink/poly party.

The night starts off well and I'm harassing a female friend of mine named B. I've decided that poking her in the ribs is about the funniest thing ever. I switch off right and left hands and she begins to squeal and twist around trying to fight back and defend herself at the same time. I give one last vicious poke and she cries uncle and tells me that I've won. I sit there for a moment and ponder and tell her, "No B. I think YOU won." She looks confused so I mention why, "After all I think I broke my finger on your ribs...." Serves me right no? I get some ice and start icing my finger and sit down near some couches with a group of about 7-8 friends and we begin discussing embarrassing stories.

B. walks over and begins to tell us why she had earned the nickname Muppet. She had been experimenting with fisting with another friend of ours whom none of us had known. Her partner in this endeavor had fairly small hands apparently. Regardless the pair of them are getting their intimacy on when BOOOOM the cat knocks over a door that had been taken off it's hinges and was resting precariously near the stairs. B's reaction to this was to back up impaling herself on her friends arm going up about halfway to the elbow. The shock of this makes her begin screaming out in a voice remarkably similar to Kermit the frog. After her roommates gather to investigate the noise her friend looks at her and pantomimes a sock puppet with the hand that she was fisting her with and says," B. Yer a muppet wakka wakka wakka."

We all have a nice chuckle and begin discussing other stories when B. and a guy named E. take off sneakily to a bedroom. The rest of us sitting in the living room figure we know what's going on and we share a look and tell each other that we are naturally going to have to sing the muppet show song when she comes out. We get back to our business and are interrupted by the loud screaming of B. having an orgasm. I'll be damned if she didn't sound remarkably like Kermit the bloody frog.

She comes back outside about a half hour later sweaty and mostly naked and the entire room starts making sock puppet motions and we belt out in a grand chorus

It's time to play the music
It's time to light the lights
It's time to meet the Muppets on the Muppet Show tonight.

It's time to put on makeup
It's time to dress up right
It's time to raise the curtain on the Muppet Show tonight.

Why do we always come here
I guess we'll never know
It's like a kind of torture
To have to watch the show

And now let's get things started
Why don't you get things started
It's time to get things started
On the most sensational inspirational celebrational Muppetational
This is what we call the Muppet Show!


After we get done B's face turns a remarkable shade of burgundy and E. tries his hardest not to bust a gut from behind her.


After this you'd think we'd be done... we had our fun played our gag and teased a woman who turns delightful colors. We get back to talking and bullshitting and most of us are making motions about leaving because it's getting to be that time of night. Just then however an ass naked K. steps out of one of the bedrooms and storms up into the living room. He looks irritated and embarrassed and most importantly incredibly shriveled.

He takes about 5 seconds and lets us know, "You assholes have no idea what it's like to hear the muppet show song while getting a Blowjob!" The whole room drops dead laughing.


The runners up were the stories about the Sphynx cat, and the cat getting chased by a squirrel.

I'd like to thank everyone for participating, and I hope to see you on the Playa -- if not this year, then next!!

-Blaze
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Re: **GIFT GIVEN** ONE TICKET GIFTED CREATIVE WRITING NEEDED

Postby BBadger » Tue Aug 23, 2011 8:48 pm

I hope mine was one of the odd ones.
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Re: **GIFT GIVEN** ONE TICKET GIFTED CREATIVE WRITING NEEDED

Postby Lassen Forge » Tue Aug 23, 2011 8:50 pm

Congratulations to the winner!!! Nicely done, both the winning entry AND the whole idea of the thing. Bravo!!!

(And with that - kerklick!)
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