Fast: The Pier needs rules

Fast: The Pier needs rules

Postby fbcota » Mon Aug 01, 2011 10:57 pm

Ok, I need rules. Here is what we have so far:

1. There are lots of splinters.
2. Please Trespass. Its fun.
3. No Barnacle poaching!
4. Hippie fishing strictly encouraged.
5. No Segways. Try selling them and
make some art with the money.
6. Smile.
7. Catch and release recommended.
8. Clothing optional.
9. Reasoning optional.
10. Seahorseplay allowed.
11. Mermaids like booze.

Go!!!
User avatar
fbcota
 
Posts: 351
Joined: Wed Jan 21, 2009 11:30 pm
Location: Reno, and Tahoe, and Somewere else

Re: Fast: The Pier needs rules

Postby lemur » Mon Aug 01, 2011 11:05 pm

do not catch on fire.
Don't link to anything here!
User avatar
lemur
 
Posts: 3599
Joined: Fri Feb 13, 2009 3:07 pm
Location: Madagascar
Camp Name: Plug N Play Camp

Re: Fast: The Pier needs rules

Postby fbcota » Mon Aug 01, 2011 11:14 pm

I like that. Just added:

1. There are lots of splinters.
2. Please Trespass. Its fun.
3. No Barnacle poaching!
4. Hippie fishing strictly encouraged.
5. No Segways. Try selling them and
making some art with the money.
6. Smile.
7. Catch and release recommended.
8. Clothing optional.
9. Reasoning optional.
10. Seahorseplay allowed.
11. Mermaids like booze.
12. CLIMBING!!!
13. Warning: Snark infested waters.
14. Please pick up MOOP.
15. Sparkleponies must be leashed.
16. Enlightenment...400 feet ahead.
17. Put pants on or take shirt off.
18. Do not overload. Pier will give in
to peer pressure.
19. Don’t fall. It may ruin your burn
User avatar
fbcota
 
Posts: 351
Joined: Wed Jan 21, 2009 11:30 pm
Location: Reno, and Tahoe, and Somewere else

Re: Fast: The Pier needs rules

Postby HeartOfJuly » Tue Aug 02, 2011 12:33 am

Ok, gotta ask, wtf is a Sparkle Pony?
"May those who love us, love us. And for those who don't love us, may God turn their hearts. And if he can not turn their hearts, may he turn their ankles, so we may know them by their limping."
HeartOfJuly
 
Posts: 5
Joined: Sat Jul 30, 2011 11:19 am

Re: Fast: The Pier needs rules

Postby Eric » Tue Aug 02, 2011 12:34 am

fbcota wrote:I like that. Just added:

1. There are lots of splinters.
2. Please Trespass. Its fun.
3. No Barnacle poaching!
4. Hippie fishing strictly encouraged.
5. No Segways. They make your ass look fat
6. Smile.
7. Catch and release recommended.
8. Clothing optional.
9. Reasoning optional.
10. Seahorseplay allowed.
11. Mermaids like booze.
12. CLIMBING!!!
13. Warning: Snark infested waters.
14. Please pick up MOOP.
15. Sparkleponies must be leashed.
16. Enlightenment...400 feet ahead.
17. Put pants on or take shirt off.
18. Do not overload. Pier will give in
to peer pressure.
19. Don’t fall. It may ruin your burn
Survival Guide * First Timers Guide * Ticket Info

Regarding Ticket Scalpers and Scammers

It's a camping trip in the desert, not the redemption of the fallen world - Cryptofishist

Eric ShutterSlut
BRC Weekly
User avatar
Eric
Moderator
 
Posts: 7103
Joined: Wed Sep 03, 2003 9:45 pm
Burning Since: 2003
Camp Name: BRC Weekly

Re: Fast: The Pier needs rules

Postby capjbadger » Tue Aug 02, 2011 12:51 am

HeartOfJuly wrote:Ok, gotta ask, wtf is a Sparkle Pony?

http://tinyurl.com/44dhq5w

-Badger
Arrrggg!! Avast ye fucking fluffy bunny shirtcockers! Haul your drunken hairy fat ass out of our sight or prepare to receive a hot buttered hedgehog fired up your aft quarters!

Honey Badger don't care. Honey Badger don't give a shit!
User avatar
capjbadger
 
Posts: 2692
Joined: Sun Jun 19, 2005 1:17 am
Location: Horus' Left Armpit
Burning Since: 2005
Camp Name: Lamplighters

Re: Fast: The Pier needs rules

Postby gaminwench » Tue Aug 02, 2011 12:53 am

Diving??!!!????
"I'm sorry, but just the thought of a non-controversial thread on ePlaya is controversial." jk
User avatar
gaminwench
 
Posts: 1718
Joined: Fri Oct 07, 2005 11:57 am
Location: Shangri-la
Burning Since: 1999
Camp Name: DOTA, EoD, OBOP

Re: Fast: The Pier needs rules

Postby graidawg » Tue Aug 02, 2011 12:55 am

capjbadger wrote:
HeartOfJuly wrote:Ok, gotta ask, wtf is a Sparkle Pony?

http://tinyurl.com/44dhq5w

-Badger


oh badger that is a whole different class of snark *let me google that for you* pahahahahahahaha oh my *wipes tears from eyes* screen wipes please
completely unconcerned.
"Savannah" I like it . . . it makes us sound forward-thinking, and not at all like trailblazing, professional-level procrastinors.
the rest of us are in the School of Fukkit. "Eric"
User avatar
graidawg
 
Posts: 2948
Joined: Thu Jan 20, 2011 6:50 am
Burning Since: 2011
Camp Name: Dread Pirate barbie

Re: Fast: The Pier needs rules

Postby capjbadger » Tue Aug 02, 2011 3:20 am

graidawg wrote:
capjbadger wrote:
HeartOfJuly wrote:Ok, gotta ask, wtf is a Sparkle Pony?

http://tinyurl.com/44dhq5w

-Badger


oh badger that is a whole different class of snark *let me google that for you* pahahahahahahaha oh my *wipes tears from eyes* screen wipes please

One of my favorite tools. ;)

-Badger
Arrrggg!! Avast ye fucking fluffy bunny shirtcockers! Haul your drunken hairy fat ass out of our sight or prepare to receive a hot buttered hedgehog fired up your aft quarters!

Honey Badger don't care. Honey Badger don't give a shit!
User avatar
capjbadger
 
Posts: 2692
Joined: Sun Jun 19, 2005 1:17 am
Location: Horus' Left Armpit
Burning Since: 2005
Camp Name: Lamplighters

Re: Fast: The Pier needs rules

Postby Sic Pup » Tue Aug 02, 2011 3:27 am

fbcota wrote:I like that. Just added:
17. Put pants on or take shirt off.


Love it!

No muff diving

or alternatively:

Muff diving only
"Enjoy every sandwich" - W. Zevon
User avatar
Sic Pup
 
Posts: 1309
Joined: Tue Aug 10, 2010 9:51 am
Location: Location, Location

Re: Fast: The Pier needs rules

Postby Drawingablank » Tue Aug 02, 2011 6:34 am

capjbadger wrote:
HeartOfJuly wrote:Ok, gotta ask, wtf is a Sparkle Pony?

http://tinyurl.com/44dhq5w

-Badger


That really made my day. +100
Savannah: I don't know what it is, but no thread here escapes alive. You'll get 1 or 2 real answers at minimum, occasionally 10 or 12, and then we flog it until it's unrecognizable and you can't get your deposit back.

Yet Another Crappy Birgin Guide
User avatar
Drawingablank
 
Posts: 2018
Joined: Thu Mar 31, 2011 8:46 pm
Location: NY
Camp Name: Barbie Death Camp

Re: Fast: The Pier needs rules

Postby Bob » Tue Aug 02, 2011 8:31 am

No catching or giving crabs.
Beware of hippie traps.

Re: Segways -- if you advertised on Kickstarter or otherwise got an art grant, the guys on Segways are probably some of your patrons. Go ahead and mock them if you really want to look like a bigger idiot than they are.
Amazing desert structures & stuff: http://sites.google.com/site/potatotrap/

"Let us say I suggest you may be human." -- Reverend Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam
User avatar
Bob
 
Posts: 6762
Joined: Wed Sep 03, 2003 10:00 am
Location: San Francisco
Burning Since: 1986
Camp Name: Royaneh

Re: Fast: The Pier needs rules

Postby TailsCut » Tue Aug 02, 2011 9:06 am

In the spirit of #15: Unattended sparkle ponies will be given espresso and a puppy.
TailsCut
 
Posts: 13
Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2011 3:02 pm

Re: Fast: The Pier needs rules

Postby theCryptofishist » Tue Aug 02, 2011 9:10 am

You have to have a size limit on your catch, or a number limit or a license requirement.

All hippies under 4' must be thrown back. Or used as bait, because we don't want the hippies to get bigger and breed. I'm not sure which.

No more than 2 hippies each (you can't afford to keep more)
Or in the San Francisco Bay they have signs about not eating your catch, because there's mercury and other toxins. Riff off that?
Simon's real sig line?

Embrace the Sock

Winners never quilt, quilters never win...
User avatar
theCryptofishist
 
Posts: 37405
Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2004 10:28 am
Location: In Exile
Burning Since: 2017

Re: Fast: The Pier needs rules

Postby fbcota » Tue Aug 02, 2011 10:24 am

Badger: That was hilarious

Bob: I am known for biting the hand that feeds :). Sorry something about the undecorated segways rolling around the playa really irk me. And something about the handful of people I have seen standing on their segways, watching the man burn, touring the temple or just otherwise being glued to them seems to irk me even more. I'm not a fan of segways, to me they represent a level of elitist lazyness that I cannot and will not encourage.
User avatar
fbcota
 
Posts: 351
Joined: Wed Jan 21, 2009 11:30 pm
Location: Reno, and Tahoe, and Somewere else

Re: Fast: The Pier needs rules

Postby The CO » Tue Aug 02, 2011 11:36 am

Do not eat the Brown Trout.

5 MPH-NO WAKE!
M*A*S*H 4207th: An army of fun.
I don't care what the borg says: feather-wearers will NOT be served in Rosie's Bar.
Yes, I am the arbiter of doing it right or wrong. Guess which one you are!
User avatar
The CO
 
Posts: 1557
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2005 10:56 am
Location: I-CORPS, M*A*S*H HQ
Burning Since: 1996
Camp Name: M*A*S*H 4207th/404: Error

Re: Fast: The Pier needs rules

Postby Bob » Tue Aug 02, 2011 11:52 am

USE HERRING PROTECTION.

Image
Amazing desert structures & stuff: http://sites.google.com/site/potatotrap/

"Let us say I suggest you may be human." -- Reverend Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam
User avatar
Bob
 
Posts: 6762
Joined: Wed Sep 03, 2003 10:00 am
Location: San Francisco
Burning Since: 1986
Camp Name: Royaneh

Re: Fast: The Pier needs rules

Postby capjbadger » Tue Aug 02, 2011 12:12 pm

Maximum Two-stroke Outboards
(any more strokes is just masturbating)

-Badger
Arrrggg!! Avast ye fucking fluffy bunny shirtcockers! Haul your drunken hairy fat ass out of our sight or prepare to receive a hot buttered hedgehog fired up your aft quarters!

Honey Badger don't care. Honey Badger don't give a shit!
User avatar
capjbadger
 
Posts: 2692
Joined: Sun Jun 19, 2005 1:17 am
Location: Horus' Left Armpit
Burning Since: 2005
Camp Name: Lamplighters

Re: Fast: The Pier needs rules

Postby Bob » Tue Aug 02, 2011 12:23 pm

NO EDGE WEAPONS.

Image
Amazing desert structures & stuff: http://sites.google.com/site/potatotrap/

"Let us say I suggest you may be human." -- Reverend Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam
User avatar
Bob
 
Posts: 6762
Joined: Wed Sep 03, 2003 10:00 am
Location: San Francisco
Burning Since: 1986
Camp Name: Royaneh

Re: Fast: The Pier needs rules

Postby Bob » Tue Aug 02, 2011 12:27 pm

NO TRANSPORTING WHILST PLANKING.

Image
Amazing desert structures & stuff: http://sites.google.com/site/potatotrap/

"Let us say I suggest you may be human." -- Reverend Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam
User avatar
Bob
 
Posts: 6762
Joined: Wed Sep 03, 2003 10:00 am
Location: San Francisco
Burning Since: 1986
Camp Name: Royaneh

Re: Fast: The Pier needs rules

Postby Alfaj0r » Wed Aug 03, 2011 8:56 am

People usually don't read an entire long list, so make sure that if people are going to read only 3, they're the MUST KNOWS... Like: Don't dive, don't set on fire, watch for splinters. And then everything else.

Also, if the sign is going to say "rules", then you need to word things as rules. Just to nitpick, two examples:
fbcota wrote:I like that. Just added:
6. Smile.
8. Clothing optional.


6 is a good rule. It tells you what to do. 8 is not a rule, it's a statement. I'd suggest either re-wording it as a command ("Wear clothes. Or not any at all.") or to put a different sign up with Tips for Enjoyment of this Pier.
User avatar
Alfaj0r
 
Posts: 13
Joined: Wed Aug 20, 2008 9:01 am
Location: Reno, Nevada

Re: Fast: The Pier needs rules

Postby fbcota » Wed Aug 03, 2011 11:32 pm

Your nit picking can be damned, damned to hell and damned to hell again,... ohh yea we already sent it to the printers.

I think clothing optional is a fine rule. We don't need no stinkin shirts,...they will be stinkin
User avatar
fbcota
 
Posts: 351
Joined: Wed Jan 21, 2009 11:30 pm
Location: Reno, and Tahoe, and Somewere else


Return to 2011 Art & Performance

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests