You're doing just fine, graidawg, at the pace you've been going through the ideas you could end up being one of those "stealth virgins" that everyone thinks has been going for years.
The place where you are sort of raising eyebrows has to do with your attempts to bottle the experience and put a label on it and have it safely contained before you even get there.
There is a whole bunch of sort of ways we ("we" being some subset of experienced burners) have of talking about this particular phenomenon. "It's just a week long camping trip in the desert." "No expectations." "Don't interfere with someone else's burn." I've used "the blind men and the elephant" more than once. If you can concentrate on the practicalities and sort of let the "meaning" of it to when you get there--or even after you get home, you will probably enjoy the whole experience more, and get more out of it. Really, don't try and get to the central nugget of it all, because it's turtles all the way down. Relax, enjoy the journey and collect a half dozen stories--that's plenty of assignment for your first burn.
The Lady with a Lamprey
"The powerful are exploiting people, art and ideas, and this leads to us plebes debating how to best ration ice.
Man, no wonder they always win....." Lonesomebri
Get a Taint, you pathetic cur!