Well, I gathered up all the prybars I could get, including an eight foot long, 1" solid milspec titanium rod, and found two people to help.
While we were unloading, one of the guys, a mechanic of questionable skill (usually), walked over and slid the wheel on.
I didn't see him do it, so I don't know exactly how he did it, and his explanation doesn't help at all.
He says to start with the bottom studs, which I was trying to do.
So either I had everything almost set when I stopped last time, or I really am not getting this at all.
And I wasn't going to pull it off again to practice.
While loading up, I caught on a vine and went into a big hole really hard, just like a cartoon coyote.
I couldn't even land well because I was busy trying to not get sliced up on the big piece of metal I was carrying.
And it was still a pretty good day.
So I guess the lesson is to just rush the right person over next time and let them tip it into place with their forefinger.