Should Burning Man enact Sex Laws?

Share your views on the policies, philosophies, and spirit of Burning Man.

Should Burning Man enact Sex Laws?

Postby Apollonaris Zeus » Fri Jun 04, 2004 10:36 am

Unique Sex laws for Burning Man



What would you suggest?




A II Z
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Postby Simply Joel » Fri Jun 04, 2004 10:45 am

Stupidity should be painful.
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Postby Captain Goddammit » Sat Jun 05, 2004 1:08 am

Just the old standard; Whatever happens on the playa, stays on the playa.
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Re: Should Burning Man enact Sex Laws?

Postby Lilly Flower » Sat Jun 05, 2004 1:19 am

Apollonaris Zeus wrote:Unique Sex laws for Burning Man



What would you suggest?




A II Z


Oh my yes. The law should be mandatory that everyone should have some and be a particular sex.
You are watching too much TV.
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Re: Should Burning Man enact Sex Laws?

Postby Apollonaris Zeus » Sat Jun 05, 2004 2:43 am

Lilly Flower wrote:
Apollonaris Zeus wrote:Unique Sex laws for Burning Man



What would you suggest?




A II Z


Oh my yes. The law should be mandatory that everyone should have some and be a particular sex.


mandatory- yes

But, particular Sex I don't know. Its hard to stop when you just had one part!

In Wisconsin, it illegal to shot off your gun when your wife is having an orgasm! Do think that applies to simutaineous orgasms! Or does that mean women must come first!

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Re: Should Burning Man enact Sex Laws?

Postby unjonharley » Sat Jun 05, 2004 9:58 pm

Apollonaris Zeus wrote:
Lilly Flower wrote:
Apollonaris Zeus wrote:Unique Sex laws for Burning Man


In Wisconsin, it illegal to shot off your gun when your wife is having an orgasm! Do think that applies to simutaineous orgasms! Or does that mean women must come first!

A II Z


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That would depend with whom she is in bed with
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Postby BAS » Sat Jun 05, 2004 11:36 pm

How about: "Sex should involve at least one person"?
"Nothing is withheld from us which we have conceived to do.
Do things that have never been done."
--Russell Kirsch
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Postby DancingTofu » Tue Jun 08, 2004 5:05 am

Leave no trace... Especially on my freaking PILLOW!
--manda, Daughter of the Cantaloupes
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Postby dragonfly Jafe » Tue Jun 08, 2004 8:27 am

...leave nothing but footprints, take nothing but pictures....

no wait - that's another thread!

ymmv - Jafe
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Postby _tears_ » Tue Jun 08, 2004 12:01 pm

DancingTofu wrote:Leave no trace... Especially on my freaking PILLOW!


...EWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

Tears 2003, 2004


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Postby Apollonaris Zeus » Wed Jun 09, 2004 12:33 am

Anyone caught faking an Orgasm

will be covered with black hoods connected with electric wires with ex-iraqi prisoners controlling the power.

Sex workers not included of course!

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Quantity vs Quality

Postby robbidobbs » Wed Jun 09, 2004 1:12 pm

It's funny that with all this talk of sex on the Playa, that the actual number of copulation events turns out to be far below the pre-playa expectations.

But the Quality can be extraordinary.
Sometimes I just tickle myself.
13 years of doing the porta-potties wrong.
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Postby muley » Wed Jun 09, 2004 3:05 pm

I love sex ........but I DO NOT want a law that tells me when I have to have it !!!
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Postby blyslv » Wed Jun 09, 2004 4:10 pm

If you wear no pants, your hygiene should be exemplary.
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Postby actiongrl » Wed Jun 09, 2004 4:25 pm

Please don't have sex in the middle of the street. I like that rule.
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Postby Rob the Wop » Wed Jun 09, 2004 5:02 pm

muley wrote:I love sex ........but I DO NOT want a law that tells me when I have to have it !!!


Your kidding, right?
Scenario:A hot female/male (your preference here) officer in a tight uniform pulls you aside and says,
"Ma'am/sir, I'm stopping you because you are violating sex law 4301.15. You apparently haven't been violated in the last 24 hour period. I'm afraid I'm going to have to take you in the back of the patrol car."

You:
A "No! I'm going to call my lawyer, the ACLU, and the Department of Defense! I know my rights!"
B "Can I just slide you this fifty, and you look the other way?"
C <insert vivid uniform sex fantasy here>

Sorry, but I'm going with C.
The other, other white meat.
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Postby Silver 2 » Wed Jun 09, 2004 5:45 pm

Anyone on top while having sex on the open Playa at night must wear at least two lights, fore and aft. Sideways requires four lights.
I like playing with fire.
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Re: Quantity vs Quality

Postby Apollonaris Zeus » Wed Jun 09, 2004 9:45 pm

robbidobbs wrote:It's funny that with all this talk of sex on the Playa, that the actual number of copulation events turns out to be far below the pre-playa expectations.

But the Quality can be extraordinary.


The first year at BM I saw this guy in the outer perimeter, obviously he seem to a good looking young guy, then I noticed he was spanking his monkey. And some of my expectations of BM were gone!

For a brief moment!

Silver 2 wrote:Anyone on top while having sex on the open Playa at night must wear at least two lights, fore and aft. Sideways requires four lights.


And the 500th person to visit them thinking they were an art installation get to join them!

A II Z


Sex Law #4302.16:

Any person using the excuse, "Not to night Honey. The techno is too loud and I've got a headache!"

is banished from BM for life!
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Re: Quantity vs Quality

Postby robbidobbs » Thu Jun 10, 2004 10:00 am

Apollonaris Zeus wrote:The first year at BM I saw this guy in the outer perimeter, obviously he seem to a good looking young guy, then I noticed he was spanking his monkey. And some of my expectations of BM were gone! For a brief moment!


Perhaps that *was* his art-form. Or part of his religious practices.
Sometimes I just tickle myself.
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Re: Quantity vs Quality

Postby Apollonaris Zeus » Thu Jun 10, 2004 11:58 am

robbidobbs wrote: Or part of his religious practices.



Yea, and I should be the pope by now!


A II Z



Sex Law #4302.17


Women first. Men Second. Queers simultaneously!
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Re: Quantity vs Quality

Postby Jordan 10-E » Tue Jun 22, 2004 12:22 pm

Apollonaris Zeus wrote:
robbidobbs wrote:The first year at BM I saw this guy in the outer perimeter, obviously he seem to a good looking young guy, then I noticed he was spanking his monkey. And some of my expectations of BM were gone!

For a brief moment!


Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do I guess.
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Postby BAS » Tue Jun 22, 2004 5:19 pm

"Spank the Monkey"-- that was a Peter Gabriel song, wasn't it :?: :wink: :D

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Do things that have never been done."
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Postby Tancorix » Tue Jun 22, 2004 9:29 pm

Silver 2 wrote:Anyone on top while having sex on the open Playa at night must wear at least two lights, fore and aft. Sideways requires four lights.


But it's fun giving the perimeter patrols something to look at while using those night vision goggles.
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fucking dirty old men hands off

Postby Guest » Wed Jun 23, 2004 2:09 pm

fucking dirty old men should be dragged out by their toes the ones who pray on loved up little candy kids, also the date rape drug dudes should be crtuicified with reebar and then set on fire... so we can eat popcorn and smell burning flesh of course
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Postby TommyTheCat » Wed Jun 23, 2004 2:24 pm

MMMM nothing like sittin around with some buds....pedafile on the fire...inhaling his fumes...and freshly popped pop corn...sounds like a grand time. :D
I got ma ride...blargh!
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Re: fucking dirty old men hands off

Postby Apollonaris Zeus » Sun Jun 27, 2004 12:21 am

space station Fuckoff wrote:fucking dirty old men should be dragged out by their toes the ones who pray on loved up little candy kids, also the date rape drug dudes should be crtuicified with reebar and then set on fire... so we can eat popcorn and smell burning flesh of course


I was hoping to keep this topic to the fun light mockery of sex laws, you know law like the Missionary Position law. BM is well covered by law forbidding sex with minors and date rape drugging.

But since you brought it up, lets add some to protect our citizens from expoitative trolls here on eplaya as well as on the real playa.

Law 101: Any parent found coersing a minor to lie about their age to entrap a adult citizen of Burning Man to defame the individual or BM will be have the minor removed from their care for ever. Then stripped nake and tied to the playa for the whole week face up.

Law 102: Any individual falsely accusing and/or filing charges involving drug raping or the involuntary use of drugs to defame and slander a citizen and/or the BMorg shall be buried up to the neck and left there on the playa to be covered by the spring flood!

Law 102.22: Any person or Any federal, state or local law enforcement that willing withhelds information of coersive or entrapment involving a minor will be forever stripped of their titles and will have their balls made into Rocky Mountain Oysters and fed to the DPW.

law 3433.4: Any person wearing a costume, such as a clown or santa suit, to lure a child or an adult and commits a crime, shall be skinned and be fed to Hogs.

In other words if you don't have an intelligent funny sex law, troll, then get the fuck out of here!

A II Z
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sexx laws

Postby orangepeelmoses » Sat Jul 24, 2004 8:27 am

can't you hear those cavalry drums
hijacking your equilibrium
midnight hags in the mausoleum
where the pixilated doctors moan
carnivores in the Kowloon night
breathing freon by the candlelight
coquettes bitch slap you so polite
till you thank them
for the tea and sympathy

I want to defy
the logic of all sex laws
let the handcuffs slip off your wrists
I'll let you be my chaperone
at the halfway home
I'm a full grown man
but I'm not afraid to cry

neptune's lips taste like fermented wine
perfumed blokes on the Ginza line
running buck wild like a concubine
who's mother never held her hand
brief encounters in Mercedes Benz
wearing hepatitis contact lens
bed and breakfast getaway weekends
with Sports Illustrated moms

I want to defy
the logic of all sex laws
let the handcuffs slip off your wrists
I'll let you be my chaperone
at the halfway home
I'm a full grown man
but I'm not afraid to cry

(beck lyrics)

opm

jesus was an alien ReMiX
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Postby magnus greel » Sat Jul 24, 2004 12:04 pm

Alright, who wrote that?

Of course, the fantasy of a full-tilt total freedom, total indulgence, total depravity, total satisfaction event is a 'possibility' we carry around in our heads, but then reality intervenes. The difficulties we experience in life, with other people, with ourselves, in the 'outside world', are still there. Then we stand there in the desert at night forlornly spanking our proverbial monkey, while some other guy notices and posts it on the Internet. I love life.

A nice law would be, no one leaves without gettin' some. I wouldn't want to have the punishee be the person not managing it but punishing the rest of BM for not supplying the individual with sex would be logistically difficult.
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Postby SED » Sat Jul 24, 2004 9:14 pm

Blah, blah, blah.

How about the old 'do unto others' bit?
It ain't the hanging, it's the drop.
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Postby Rian Jackson » Mon Jul 26, 2004 9:46 am

magnus greel wrote:

A nice law would be, no one leaves without gettin' some.


I don't think i can take this thread.

A) I'm sitting at work, and
B) My s.o. will not be on playa..... it's already driving me crazy! How am i going to survive the week?!?!

How 'bout this for a sex law: those who can't have sex on playa 'cause their partners aren't in BRC get lots of good backrubs....

What's that made-up stat about the percentage of backrubs leading to sex?
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