tell me a story

All things outside of Burning Man.

Postby OnceTheDustClears » Sun Mar 07, 2010 8:53 pm

...arms of the lusty Reeg. They were last seen canoodling in Smooch Dome. Coincidently next to them on the couch was...
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Postby ygmir » Sun Mar 07, 2010 10:47 pm

Janet Reno and Madeline Albreight...........in a super lusty, hot, entanglement

It seemed, as though the world had stopped turning............as though, the sun may never rise again............

not unlike two walruses (i?), their mounting passion was about to explode.........
and, just as the height of passion was approaching, as single bead of bodily fluid, drizzled down Ms Reno's leg and onto..........
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Postby littleflower » Mon Mar 08, 2010 8:56 am

that image may be a story stopper .... :shock:

a photo of mt. shasta, a black and white photo, during an eruption long, long ago, long before photography was invented, when lake lahontan was still wet, and full of see creatures and fishys and reptiles about its shores ....

out little frog hero was sleeping happily, dreaming all of this, completely unaware that....
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Postby OnceTheDustClears » Mon Mar 08, 2010 9:57 am

...the flower that he had nestled himself into for a nap was not a flower at all.
He had in fact hitched himself into the underpinnings of Janet's sparkly tutu.
Leaving Janet and Maddy to carry on without him, he hopped on the back of a passing mutant bike
and sped off heading directly into the path of...
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Postby Fire_Moose » Mon Mar 08, 2010 10:21 am

this story sucks. I thought Burners were imaginative. Later freaks.
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Postby EvilDustBooger » Mon Mar 08, 2010 10:57 am

Fire_Moose wrote:this story sucks. I thought Burners were imaginative. Later freaks.


Image











....a speeding art car (10mph) driven by no other than Larry Harvey.
Before another stroke of the peddle...
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Postby littleflower » Mon Mar 08, 2010 11:59 am

BANG!!!!

matter crashed into antimatter, a hat flies into a black hole, frog legs drop into breading then hot butter, a moose dick catches fire and burns like hell, and next thing you know
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Postby ygmir » Mon Mar 08, 2010 3:26 pm

all are treated to the vision of a moose with his little dick burning, running across the playa, screaming for the other girl and her cup.
Meanwhile, "the hat" enters a wormhole, emanating from the black hole he was sucked into, in a different time, a different dimension, where everyone is DPW, and in search of their own "black hole".
The adoring throngs of Troglodytes, noting the appearance of "the hat", immediately prostrate themselves (insert nested funnies "butt joke"here, Simon), and, beg his everlasting love and light, but, instead, he smites them.
They are distraught, if not dismayed and disillusioned.
The acolytes of the crowd, determined to redeem themselves turn and..........
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Postby EvilDustBooger » Mon Mar 08, 2010 3:50 pm

...smite the hat back in revenge with large cans of alien ScotchGuard. Seeing that the angry throng was increasing in size and realizing he was no longer retaining moisture, he glanced at the conflagrating moose cock and...
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Postby OnceTheDustClears » Mon Mar 08, 2010 6:45 pm

...offered up Janet as a virgin sacrifice to the STD gods in a last ditch effort to heal the tiny burning member. The liberal spraying of the ScotchGuard did not seem to help anything as three onlookers were temporarily blinded. No one was able to determine if it was the ScotchGuard in the eyes or the sight of Janet in the buff that burned their retinas. In any case a rampaging band of shirtcocking hippies showed up offering to...
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Postby ragabashpup » Mon Mar 08, 2010 9:20 pm

light joints off of the flaming member..
Ragabadger don't give a shit.
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Postby CLARKcon » Tue Mar 09, 2010 6:52 pm

and began puffing MAD amounts of reefer!! Brick after brick, they laid the cannabis to dust (which they cafefully collected as not leave stem & seeds MOOP behind). The JOTS servicefolk who were diligentily cleaning the potty banks caught drift of a wave cloud of the magical sage, and needless to say, they rushed over and exclaimed at the top of their lungs, "...
COFFEE CAMP: "The Social Hub of the Uncivilized World"
"Remember- Drink coffee...it's for your own good"
"DRINK IT!"
"...it's only just begun."
"To Percolate & Serve."
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Postby ygmir » Tue Mar 09, 2010 6:58 pm

BEHOLD!!!!!!

It's Janet Reno in the nude........

they began chanting Roy Orbison songs, a Capella, and, shuffling their feet, in a single file line, so as to be reminiscent of a slow witted centipede.
their line, not unlike a somba line, wound it's way around the JOTS, in and out and all about, caressing and cleaning each unit, all the while singing praise to Nude Janet, and, the Madellinonian counterpart.........until, in the blink of an eye........
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Postby CLARKcon » Tue Mar 09, 2010 7:08 pm

Janet doubled over, gripping her stomach (in an obvious medical emergency). Luckily, they had been dancing near a First Aid outpost whereas some EMT's rushed over to access the situation. In a great stir, Ms. Reno released a noxious & quite lengthy rush of flatulence. Two ravers nearby simutanously threw up, as Jan laughed/chuckled with great embarrasment "Holy Christ! :P :oops: Those Indian Tacos from that stand on the drive up really makes a lass..."
COFFEE CAMP: "The Social Hub of the Uncivilized World"
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"DRINK IT!"
"...it's only just begun."
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Postby OnceTheDustClears » Tue Mar 09, 2010 7:35 pm

feel sassy and well...quite gassy." Slowly she began to smile (as she now felt a WHOLE lot better) and then started to rhythmically dance in a surprisingly erotic way. A crowd began to gather and soon a huge wave of entranced people began to...
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Postby ygmir » Wed Mar 10, 2010 6:30 am

run off a cliff.......for, she was performing "the dance of the lemmings",
the music eerily similar to "dance of the sugar plumb fairies" , but, with distorted guitar and sung by Ozzie Osborn.
They were pouring over the edge.
someone exclaimed,
"oh, the humanity!@!!

as the bodies piled up at the cliffs base, someone noted the cliff was from the set of a Godzilla movie, and, really, only 2' high.........
but, as folks realized, their naked, sweaty bodies were piled upon each other anyway, they broke into a spontaneous performance of..........
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Postby CLARKcon » Wed Mar 10, 2010 7:14 am

..."RIVER DANCE"!!!
Image
Led by no other than The Lord of the Dance himself, Michael Flatley. They sprang, twisted & bolted in cosmic sway and diligence, the timing perfected by some trance DJ's on a boombox artcar. The continued to ungulate rythmatically long into the night, wheras Mr. Flatley handed out candy & pacifiers to the welcoming crowd. A grandmother of one of the children came forward for candy, and the Dance King smiled, unzipped his PVC pants and pulled out...
COFFEE CAMP: "The Social Hub of the Uncivilized World"
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"DRINK IT!"
"...it's only just begun."
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Postby OnceTheDustClears » Wed Mar 10, 2010 8:14 am

....a small, slippery, wiggling object. "OMG!" said Gran..."It's a frog."
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Postby ygmir » Fri Mar 12, 2010 8:52 am

but, not just any frog.............this frog, new, improved, with super powers, lept forward, a stunning example of frogdome, for all to see, and, admire:

Image

as he turned, and closed the zippper, from whence he sprang, alas, he was to quick. He had unknowingly also caught, in the famous dancers zipper, his partner, and life long companion...............
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Postby CLARKcon » Fri Mar 12, 2010 6:26 pm

'HopStar',
Image
his solar-powered robotical hopping buddy :D ! Hopping like mad during the hot Nevada days & pleasantily gentile & calm during the night inside the pants--they together formed an unbeatable amphibian team to liberate all greenie's, organic or mechanical. The super-hero frog poked his head out, and thus addressed the astonished crowd "...
COFFEE CAMP: "The Social Hub of the Uncivilized World"
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"DRINK IT!"
"...it's only just begun."
"To Percolate & Serve."
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Postby lonestoner916 » Sat Mar 13, 2010 1:05 pm

"I know this story makes no sense, but it's the truth damnit! This isn't just some made up bullshit group story on a message board this is my life, the life of one seriously disturbed but well-meaning frog and his robotic companion..."
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Postby OnceTheDustClears » Sat Mar 13, 2010 1:23 pm

The crowd was getting restless. It was hot and dusty and the hangovers weren't helping any. People began shouting questions and hurling insults...

"Who the hell are you?"
"You aren't even a real amphibian!"
"What makes you so special?"
"And what really goes on inside Michael's pants?"

They edged closer...
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Postby ygmir » Mon Mar 15, 2010 12:55 pm

for, they knew, from that distance, they'd never be able to see what goes on in Michaels pants, for the "shy turtle" was hiding............

As they drew closer, a particularly observant person, screamed,
that's no shy turtle, it's Gamera

Image

and the crowd coward with fear.

Knowing just who to call, the hero frog, (who's name seems elusive), beckoned none other than...........
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Postby OnceTheDustClears » Mon Mar 15, 2010 3:26 pm

Pee Wee Herman who sped into the center of the crowd on his bike.
He jumped off and began randomly giving wild wedgies and tequila shots to everyone within reach.
Between the oooohs and the OW!DAMMITS no one noticed that the Gamera had escaped it's dark hideaway.
"Look out!" shouted ygmir who had been intently studying from where the beast had sprung...but it was too late.
The monster had sunk its teeth into the juicy ass of none other than...
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Postby Sail Man » Tue Mar 16, 2010 1:40 pm

Boijoy! Savoring the starchy flavor of potato Gamera shook his mighty head back and forth, flinging Mr Potato Head body parts to and fro. Slowly, he enjoyed the flavor, reminding him of some cheap Vodka he had drank on his last trip to the motherland, to dear old Russia, Where he frolicked at the dacha of none other then Gyre, and noshed on the finest Beluga Caviar.
Excuse me Ma'am, your going to feel a small prick.
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Postby OnceTheDustClears » Tue Mar 16, 2010 2:05 pm

"Caviar? All we ever get at my camp is Bacon Flavored Spam.
Just what does one have to do to get some caviar?" said...
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Postby ygmir » Thu Mar 18, 2010 4:39 pm

Sailman............for, he had been told, the luscious fish eggs, flavor and aroma , would remind him of.............
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Postby OnceTheDustClears » Thu Mar 18, 2010 4:47 pm

...Peeps...evil and sinister Peeps who had banded together to become a rag tag group of...

Image
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Postby ygmir » Thu Mar 18, 2010 4:55 pm

exotic dancers..........Imageand, what dancers they were.
Sailman, known to them as (he who must not be named, but, will drool if you talk dirty), was their best customer.
he'd come, day and night, just to see them, and, palaver.
Ah, the heady days of hedonism...........
lounging by the jacuzzi, eating marshmallow treats, until his eyes watered...........but, in his zeal to indulge in all manner of fleshly, including marshmallow, pleasures, he inadvertently created a super-psychic vortex, and, was spun into the ethereal maelstrom, known as........
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Postby OnceTheDustClears » Thu Mar 18, 2010 5:00 pm

Thunderdome. Much to his shock and horror, out of the dust walked the latest two competitors...
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