the awful truth, from our friends at Spock Mountain.
Filthy rich corporate sponsorships flood the playas rave scene.
DJs Live the American Dream
By Captain Winner
As the week progresses, and more big DJ
names spin Friday and Saturday sets, a new
battle has started on the playa. Paul Oakenfold
was the first to accept big money
(reportedly $50K for a single set) to spin,
and his gold plated RV has been a fixture
on the playa for four years running. And
now other star DJs are lining up to the
raver camp trough.
Tired of hearing Oakenfolds sets at
Burning Man, Root Society opted to up
the stakes, and invited DJ Tiesto to spin
opposite Oakenfold on Friday night. Our
only problem was funding. Tiesto comes
with a pretty steep price, and apparently
hes not into the Commissary tickets and
RV sleeping space weve been able to bring
our other DJs in with, said Baron von Beat,
the lead promoter for Root Society. So, we
decided to turn to corporate sponsorship to
get him in.
When I first heard from von Beat, I told
my publicist to drop the call, but when we
heard back from the folks from the NabiscoTM
family, I was a lot more compelled
to join in on the burning of the men, said
Nabisco DJ Tiestito. I mean, say what
you want about Oakenfold, but does he
have a bag of chips with his name on it? I
didnt think so, Tiestito said as he pulled a
bag of mini-wafers from his Nascar-esque
Nabisco uniform. Plus, signing a 3-year
$12 million contract doesnt hurt, I guess. I
mean, whos the bullshit sheep fucker now,
He got what? said Oakenfold when
SSM told him about the Tiestito contract.
Call me back in 10 minutes.
So, we did. Ã’Please refer to www.google
com/oakengoog.html for information on
to Paul OakenGoogleTMs office.
As reported on the site, OakenGoogles
contract rings in at 5 years and $20 million
and also come with a significant signing
Though the exclusive contract was already
signed for Tiesto, von Beat decided to turn
in another direction.
When OakenGoogle signed his deal, we
needed to bring in someone bigger. Weve
lined up Fatboy SlimJimTM, to headline for
TiestitoTM, and if youve ever tried the two
together, you know that they are an amazing
pairing here on the playa, or anywhere
else a delicious snack is in order.
With the gauntlet thrown, Opulent Temple-
head Maximum Awesome started moving
in the direction of quantity over quality.
Included in the lineup for the weekend
are Krafts Vanilli Snack PackTM (of Milli
Vanilli fame), Oh Boy! Oberto GeorgeTM,
Gary Coleman Camping AmazingTM, and
I dont care how they sound, really. Look
at all the sweet stuff I got. I dont care how
A-rod sounds... look at the jersey and bat
that he gave me. I love baseball, was all
Max-A had to say on the subject.
Not to be completely left out (again),
the Deep End has reportedly signed on
Badger Plumbing of Gerlachs Pete Tong
to perform for their final closing set. No
Whos going to win the battle? I cant
say, but I can tell you that the Org is really
excited about seeing how things play out,
said Burning Man LLCs voice of propaganda,
Action Grrl. Competition and
Capitalism are the true spirit behind the
American Dream theme.
I guess only time will tell.
Larry Harvey was not available for comments
because he was eating ribs, two slabs at