...That Might Kill Us All! CERN Lights Up!

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...That Might Kill Us All! CERN Lights Up!

Postby gyre » Wed Sep 10, 2008 3:44 am

That was the lead on the news.
"A new technology that some say will kill us all!"
Don't hear that everyday.

Well, CERN is on and we're still here.
Or are we?
Can anyone prove we're still here?
Maybe we've just shifted somewhere else.
Has anyone seen any black holes lately?
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Postby DVD Burner » Wed Sep 10, 2008 4:14 am

Ah, it happened already?

I was wondering.

My room is awful hot.
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Postby Toolmaker » Wed Sep 10, 2008 4:22 am

They started it up.. its gotta cool to something like -270 celsius. The resulting black hole will grow uncontrollably and kill us all. Than we all die again in 2012.
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Postby DVD Burner » Wed Sep 10, 2008 4:23 am

If anything, I'm left scratching my butt instead of kissing it.
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Postby DVD Burner » Wed Sep 10, 2008 4:48 am

I just read that it didn't happen yet.
It's supposed to happen TODAY:




Today is not Hadron Collider Day
Hadrons yes, collisions no. End of world to follow
By Lewis Page → More by this author
Published Wednesday 10th September 2008 09:11 GMT


http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/09/10 ... not_today/


All the world's media is going bananas over "first beam" day at the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) - the world's most stupendous particle-punisher, which switched on this morning (following an initial hiccup which appeared to be fixed by the traditional expedient of turning it off then on again). Today, it is being strongly implied, is the moment of truth - today is the big day, when the LHC might unmask the elusive "god particle" - or alternatively destroy the world and indeed perhaps the entire universe.

There's just one snag with all that - it's cobblers. All the good, interesting stuff from the LHC - the Higgs deiton, the dark matter, the possibly planet-gobbling black hole dimensional portal threat and/or universe-buster runaway strangelet or monopole soup plagues, dessert topping apocalypses etc - none of that's on offer today. All of these excellent possibilities require the LHC boffins to actually collide some hadrons - well, duh. The clue's in the name. But they aren't ready for that yet.
Click here to find out more!

What's happening today is the inaugural, gentle bowling of some initial protons around the entire 27-km subterranean ultrachilled superconductor magno-track. That's your lot.

In coming months the underground Alpine boffinry chiefs, once happy that they have hadrons whipping round the big ring properly in one direction, will fire up the opposing stream going the other way.

Only then, once the two unprecedentedly puissant particle cannons are reliably ripping out clips of protons on full auto both clockwise and anticlockwise, will the real fun begin. Only then will the boffins begin to seriously meddle with the very fabric of the universe, as they possibly rashly cross the streams of the two colossal energy guns, ramming protons into one another at almost light speed. Thus far, we are told only that this will happen "by the end of the year".

Even then, it will be some little time more before nervous brainboxes actually turn the control known only* as "The Big Knob" right up, doubtless disregarding despairing warnings from their hunchbacked assistants with a cackle of insane laughter as they do so. Only then will the intensity of the LHC's criss-crossing proton or ion beams rise to previously unseen levels as the hurtling particles accelerate past the speeds previously achieved in earlier, lesser atom-smashers like the Relativistic Heavy Ion Collider.

Only at that stage - probably a year or more from now - will the colliding protons be disintegrated with sufficient violence to produce the various treats we have been promised. Strangely perhaps, by then it seems a racing cert that the broadcasters will all have gone home, and the scribblers will mostly have ceased to file copy. Once the insane laughs begin to truly ring out in the LHC's underground caverns, once the mad scientists wipe the foam from their lips, roll up their sleeves, lock and load their outrageous particle guns and really start to show what they can do, the chances are that nobody will be watching.

But there will be at least one exception. The Reg hereby pledges to stay on the story, bringing you all the humonguous subterranean cavern magno-doughnut beam cannon news hot off the wires - perhaps with a garnish of hysterical rip-in-the-very-fabric-of-spacetime dimension portal angle here and there. As long as there's a universe to report from, we will continue to follow the Quest for the Big Answers. ®
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Postby gyre » Wed Sep 10, 2008 5:01 am

Hysterical writing.
They were saying that if there is a quench and the beam went off target, it could cut through a hundred metres of earth.
That's fairly impressive.
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Postby DVD Burner » Wed Sep 10, 2008 5:04 am

gyre wrote:Hysterical writing.
They were saying that if there is a quench and the beam went off target, it could cut through a hundred metres of earth.
That's fairly impressive.


you think that's funny, what about this:


(LHC) - the world's most stupendous particle-punisher, which switched on this morning (following an initial hiccup which appeared to be fixed by the traditional expedient of turning it off then on again).


Second line into the text. :shock:


Hope these guys aint like those guys at Tribe.

OOps
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Postby gyre » Wed Sep 10, 2008 5:14 am

I read that.
I'll never forget a group of engineers banging on a very expensive state of the art studio board.
The had a technical name for it.
So many connections to glitch.

And these guys were the board designers!

When all else fails...
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Postby dragonfly Jafe » Wed Sep 10, 2008 5:16 am

important safety tip: don't cross the beams!
Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see.
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Postby Apollonaris Zeus » Wed Sep 10, 2008 8:59 am

Funny if time started going backwards!

sdrawkcab gniog detrats emit fi ynnuF


You'd have this strange Dejavu all day long
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Postby somekind » Wed Sep 10, 2008 9:04 am

The hardon collider: It's giving me a raging clue.
http://burningmanvideos2007.blogspot.com/

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Postby DVD Burner » Wed Sep 10, 2008 9:05 am

somekind wrote:The hardon collider: It's giving me a raging clue.



Hey, I saw that episode.
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Postby Apollonaris Zeus » Wed Sep 10, 2008 9:13 am

DVD Burner wrote:
somekind wrote:The hardon collider: It's giving me a raging clue.



Hey, I saw that episode.


Thought you were in that episode?

Anyone using the new google Chrome browser?
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Postby Ugly Dougly » Wed Sep 10, 2008 9:45 am

I just made some dark matter this morning.
Please to visit PAGE TWO.
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Postby Isotopia » Wed Sep 10, 2008 9:49 am

They were saying that if there is a quench and the beam went off target, it could cut through a hundred metres of earth.
That's fairly impressive.


That's why the beam tunnel is several hundred feet below the surface. The surrounding soil acts not only as an insulator to help maintain consistent operational temperatures but also serves as shielding from radiation (primarily neutrons) generated from the proton-proton collisions. Ordinarily stopping or the beam involves the use of steering magnets which directs the beam to a very large, very dense slug of metal known as a dump. When these steering magnets fail or misdirect the beam is when you have the cutting which can be pretty nasty in terms of both costs associated with the damage and the induced activation of other items and components.
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Postby Apollonaris Zeus » Wed Sep 10, 2008 10:32 am

Its obvious Iso doesn't know a thing about this sort of high tech stuff. think of this shit like a very large Tube TV and what it's magnets do to the radiation beam when you live in a basement apartment.

Now bout that last beer on earth!
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Postby gyre » Wed Sep 10, 2008 10:37 am

How bad is it to stick your hand in the microwave when it's running?

My microwave lost it's mind and started running only when the door was open.
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Postby Isotopia » Wed Sep 10, 2008 11:04 am

My microwave lost it's mind and started running only when the door was open.


That's nothing.

Steering magnets at some of the larger accelerators generate fields are so strong that if one were standing next to one when fully energized during operations it would strip the iron out of your blood cells.
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Postby theCryptofishist » Wed Sep 10, 2008 1:58 pm

Isotopia wrote:Steering magnets at some of the larger accelerators generate fields are so strong that if one were standing next to one when fully energized during operations it would strip the iron out of your blood cells.
Is that painful, or do you die too quick for the pain to cut in?
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Postby Isotopia » Wed Sep 10, 2008 4:14 pm

Is that painful, or do you die too quick for the pain to cut in?


It has never happened before. Safeguards at accelerator facilities are among the most rigorous and complex in the world with multiple backup and safeguards.

On the other hand, I've made entries into our accelerator after shutdown and have found squirrels that have found their way into the accelerator tunnel using penetrations used to feed electrical cables thru.

The squirrel didn't look like it died a happy death.
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Postby DVD Burner » Wed Sep 10, 2008 4:36 pm

I forgot, this is Badgers area of expertise.
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Postby AntiM » Wed Sep 10, 2008 4:42 pm

And here I could have skipped my mammogram today.
These are not my fuckos.
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Postby The CO » Wed Sep 10, 2008 5:11 pm

gyre wrote:I'll never forget a group of engineers banging on a very expensive state of the art studio board.
The had a technical name for it.


It's called "kinetic adjustment" or "applied pressure".

I use it all the time. Especially playing pinball.
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Postby ygmir » Wed Sep 10, 2008 5:47 pm

Isotopia wrote:
Is that painful, or do you die too quick for the pain to cut in?


It has never happened before. Safeguards at accelerator facilities are among the most rigorous and complex in the world with multiple backup and safeguards.

On the other hand, I've made entries into our accelerator after shutdown and have found squirrels that have found their way into the accelerator tunnel using penetrations used to feed electrical cables thru.

The squirrel didn't look like it died a happy death.


and,
how good do we feel about the ability of a squirrel (except Rocket J.) getting into a top security, end of the world possibility, super secret machine and chewing the "off" wire?.........
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Postby DVD Burner » Wed Sep 10, 2008 5:52 pm

ygmir wrote:
and,
how good do we feel about the ability of a squirrel (except Rocket J.) getting into a top security, end of the world possibility, super secret machine and chewing the "off" wire?.........


Better yet, how about a roach or an ant stepping on a positive negative at 3.5 volts that controls a relay.


It's all about the same as slipping in the bathroom.
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Postby gyre » Wed Sep 10, 2008 6:43 pm

I hear tattoos with metallic inks have a lively reaction to big magnets.
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Postby theCryptofishist » Wed Sep 10, 2008 7:35 pm

Isotopia wrote:
Is that painful, or do you die too quick for the pain to cut in?


It has never happened before. Safeguards at accelerator facilities are among the most rigorous and complex in the world with multiple backup and safeguards.
Just because I had a pretty good idea that the question wouldn't have an answer doesn't mean that I wasn't going to ask it.


Actually, when I think about it, I'm glad that no one's done the research. When you think of some of the brutal experiments that have been made, I'm glad that somehow the american (or swiss) taxpayer never funded that one.
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Postby unjonharley » Wed Sep 10, 2008 8:46 pm

Black hole huh?
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Postby can't sit still » Wed Sep 10, 2008 9:10 pm

Don't forget Waxahachie!!!!" The Texas collider would have been three times larger and more powerful than the project unveiled in Europe Wednesday."
http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent ... 3530c.html
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Postby DVD Burner » Thu Sep 11, 2008 6:59 am

Boffinry bitchslap brouhaha: Higgs and Hawking head to head


http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/09/11 ... eathmatch/


Proton cannons for two, coffee for one
By Lewis Page → More by this author
Published Thursday 11th September 2008 11:46 GMT
Download free whitepaper - The Botnet Threat

Famous retired physics prof Peter Higgs - of boson renown - has stingingly counter-poohpoohed the theories of his equally well known Nobel Prize rival, Stephen Hawking, who has already poohpoohed Higgs' particle concept. The clash of intellects is expected to be settled by particle-punishment results at the Large Hadron Collider.

Speaking of Hawking's methods at a press conference yesterday, Higgs was sternly critical.

"I don’t think the way he does it is good enough," he snapped, quoted in today's Times.

“He puts together theories in particle physics with gravity ... in a way which no theoretical particle physicist would believe...

“From a particle physics, quantum theory point of view, you have to put a lot more than just gravity into the theory to have a consistent theory and I don’t think Stephen has done that. I am very doubtful about his calculations.â€
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