To all the people looking for sex camps....

To all the people looking for sex camps....

Postby trevkong » Tue Jan 29, 2008 1:37 am

I`m assuming most of you are burning man virgins, and in your head you probably have some idea that its going to be this baccanalian (sp?) orgy of epic proportions. Well it sort of is, for your senses at least, but i cant shake the hilarity of all these people (mainly dudes) who think theres going to be some sort of techno vending machine pumping out hot fucked up girls for them to have their way with.

Does sex happen on the playa? sure does, are there orgies? ya, but orgies arnt like the ones you see in porn, trust me lol. I guess my point is, the internet has made sex a very very very cheap commodity, go find it on craiglist. If its your main reason for coming out, its probably going to be the most expensive date of your life, and you may still leave with blue balls.
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Postby CLARKcon » Tue Jan 29, 2008 2:14 am

Good call trevkong: The two times I made sweetness on playa was 1.) girlfriend at the time, and 2.) with girlfriend now. Yes- the desert is spontaneous combustion, but, it's unexpected as well. The best thing to do is to drop all your expectations (and hopefully, your judgments, fears, and intolerances) at the gate, wheras you can pick them up like bad luggage at the end of the week. Essentially play it cool, have fun, and above all else- b e yourself (life is too short to fake anything less :) )
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Postby pinemom » Tue Jan 29, 2008 8:02 am

hee hehehe

You both said it all!
Funny the amount of people who think thats the ONLY thing we do out there, hell I felt bad I didnt get laid more, and I got married out there this year...ahhahaa all in good fun, my beloved, titiw...
No really you can get laid or even join a orgy out here in default world, why would you want to consintrate on that aspect when there is so many things we dont get to enjoy in everyday world!
New friendships, new experiences, your mind being totally blown that there is a place like this on earth!!!
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Postby CapSmashy » Tue Jan 29, 2008 10:21 am

Mmmmmmmmm.... handjobs from Pinemom........

Ooops... sorry...
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Postby Teo del Fuego » Tue Jan 29, 2008 10:56 am

more likely to attend a seminar on orgies than actually participate in one at Burning Man
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Postby pinemom » Tue Jan 29, 2008 12:13 pm

Proud host to B.E.D.
and the home of the Happy handjob....

haha
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Postby blyslv » Tue Jan 29, 2008 1:28 pm

No way dudes!!!

I've had lots of hot unwashed sex with hot unwashed hotties. There's nothing like 3 days of sleepless, showerless existence to make one hot hot hot! The thumping, pumping explosive, slippery and gentle strokes of the playa vibe environment make librarians take out their buns, make libertarians attend meetings and makes humans prone to friction, that silky smooth friction that motivates adolescents everywhere!

These dudes just want to keep the hot sticky sweaty steamy non-stop pumping and thumping for themselves.

Bad Burner!

Selfish Burner!
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Postby Simon of the Playa » Tue Jan 29, 2008 2:36 pm

it's all about participation....

in 97', my second ex wife and i ended up fast asleep, pants around heels, half-in half out of the tent, only to awoken by the murmurs of passerbys commenting on how cute it was...

i also was sorta wondering in the haze of half sleep what that damn breeze was.

so there's sex out there, Plenty of it, but it's really more important to realize that if that's all you want out of this experience, then you should probably save your money for lube, and stay at home....

the artwork is pretty damn sexy, and i saw alot of wet spots in peoples trousers after the oil derrick explosion that were too small to be pee.
breathe deep, the playa is the dust of your ancestors

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HAHA!

Postby DaftBrian » Tue Jan 29, 2008 3:52 pm

I must say, there was a bit of evidence to me crapping my pants after crude awakening. One of my favorite memories were the rangers walking the perim
"If you are wearing any fur clothing, take it off..be prepared to turn and move the other way!". To my delighted amusement I witnessed several people second guess their seating during the explosion and starting to RUN the other way! That's cool for them, but just sitting there and looking up to the sky to see more fire than sky itself is something I'll never forget..(my black and white playa pants never will either).
He appears mad indeed but to a few, because the majority is infected with the same disease. [Lat., Nimirum insanus paucis videatur, eo quod Maxima pars hominum morbo jactatur eodem.]
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Postby DaftBrian » Tue Jan 29, 2008 3:54 pm

Oh ya, and sex on the playa?! How dare you...
He appears mad indeed but to a few, because the majority is infected with the same disease. [Lat., Nimirum insanus paucis videatur, eo quod Maxima pars hominum morbo jactatur eodem.]
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Sex...? On the Playa?

Postby Stagger » Tue Jan 29, 2008 5:45 pm

Been so long since I had sex on the playa, I can't remember who gets tied up !!!
http://www.stagger.net

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Postby Dr. Pyro » Tue Jan 29, 2008 6:54 pm

Sex? At Burningman? On the playa? Huh, news to me.
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Postby Sensei » Tue Jan 29, 2008 7:02 pm

Yeah right, Doc. This is from the man that annually hosts the pussy parfait known as the E-playa Meet and Greet.
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Postby AntiM » Tue Jan 29, 2008 7:28 pm

huh. I guess that explains the whipped cream in the underwear.
These are not my fuckos.
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Postby Rat Bastard » Tue Jan 29, 2008 7:54 pm

Here's the clue about sex camps. If you want to find the orgies/sex etc. then all you need to do is start your own camp. Then you will soon realize that your camp is full of dudes.

Circle Jerk Camp!

Fact is, if you can't get laid in the default world then you probably won't at BM. If you can and/or you already attend orgies in the default world then your probably a member of a different web site and will already know where to look.

Any sex oriented camp is still not going to let single guys into an "adult" party. Single girls yes.

There are people (women) out there that like to "gift" a roll in the dust. If your lucky, maybe you'll find one. If your looking for one, you'll never find one.

BTW.... Where's this thread with all these people looking for sex camps? I need a good laugh.
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Postby Teo del Fuego » Wed Jan 30, 2008 9:52 am

Rat Bastard wrote:Any sex oriented camp is still not going to let single guys into an "adult" party. Single girls yes.


That is sexual discrimination and its wrong! I have already contacted the LLC and its lawfirm, Low, Ball & Lynch, to see about filing an injunction. I am no longer going to sit at the back of the booty bus watching other, more attractive people, mostly women, writhe around on my civil rights. Sometimes you just cant take it anymore!
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Postby Kinetik V » Wed Jan 30, 2008 10:53 am

Rat Bastard wrote:Any sex oriented camp is still not going to let single guys into an "adult" party.


Ever heard of Camp Jiffy Lube?
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Postby Teo del Fuego » Wed Jan 30, 2008 11:39 am

Kinetic V wrote:Ever heard of Camp Jiffy Lube?


That is Trademark infringement and its wrong! I've already contacted Jiffy Lube and its attorneys, Low, Ball & Lynch.
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Postby blyslv » Wed Jan 30, 2008 12:16 pm

Huh. I've already got Dewey, Cheatum and Howe working on my lawsuit to force SOMEBODY to pave the playa. As long as it's in that dusty state, people with respiratory disease cannot attend. Clearly this is a violation of the Americans with Disabilities Act and It's Just Plain Wrong.


Who will help pay for their billable hours so I might gift you a dust free playa?
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Postby Rat Bastard » Wed Jan 30, 2008 12:41 pm

[quote="Teo del Fuego"][quote="Kinetic V"]Ever heard of Camp Jiffy Lube?[/quote]

That is Trademark infringement and its wrong! I've already contacted Jiffy Lube and its attorneys, Low, Ball & Lynch.[/quote]

Yup, it is. That's why they're now Stiffy Lube. And of course it goes both ways. Stiffy Lube doesn't let in single women. Or do they???????????

No one has sex at BM, it's too dusty. Spent my first year painting the cieling of my tent white. Yet, there's still a safer sex camp. I don't get it.
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GREAT CAMP IDEA

Postby alaska burners » Sun Feb 03, 2008 3:11 pm

Wouldn't it be fun if someone started a Don't FUCK ME Camp.

This would be a place where anyone could hang out that did not want to have sex without worry of being asked by anyone for sex.
From one Extreme Climate to the next...
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Postby Kinetik V » Sun Feb 03, 2008 3:52 pm

blyslv wrote:Huh. I've already got Dewey, Cheatum and Howe working on my lawsuit to force SOMEBODY to pave the playa. As long as it's in that dusty state, people with respiratory disease cannot attend. Clearly this is a violation of the Americans with Disabilities Act and It's Just Plain Wrong.


Who will help pay for their billable hours so I might gift you a dust free playa?


I think I'll contact the firm of Sue, Grabbitt and Runne to challenge this latest "pave the planet" environmental assault. Paving the playa would cover up ancient indian artifacts and it would further hasten the refilling of Lake Lahontan since rainwater could not be absorbed back into the ground. The truth be told, this is all a secret ploy by Sempra to get around the problem of sucking out all the groundwater to cool their powerplants. Refill Lake Lahontan, use the old mines for carbon sequestration and Sempra could build power complexes in Nevada to rival the power output of the Pacific Northwest! So much for protecting the public, our resident litigator has turned to the dark side!

(Ok, it's a creative license stretch..but who cares)
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Postby bigbluedoggy » Sun Feb 03, 2008 8:32 pm

After consultation with our attorneys, Bendham, Oveur and Dewham, it appears that Kinetic is correct in his assessment of the many obstacles to be overcome if we are to see the playa paved. However we should never let something as meaningless as natural features, historic artifacts or desecration of sacred lands stand in the way of abject progress... particularly where a profit is to be made. This is America for goodness sake! It hasn't stopped us yet!




just kidding... really
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I do believe I will go to Burning Man...
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Postby Rat Bastard » Sun Feb 03, 2008 9:52 pm

The counsel has concluded to impose regulations similar to Chicago. Any paving, whether it be road or parking lot, needs to have a previously determined amount of plant life in the way of planter boxes, grass and or trees. This is none-negotiable. Also, water supply must be available an a plan for maintanence for said greenery.

Personally I vote for lots of grass. Grass is good. Line the streets with grass and each August we'll all be sure to have a good time driving around at 5mph.
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Orgies on the Playa

Postby John Vale » Tue Mar 04, 2008 1:27 pm

[quote]but i cant shake the hilarity of all these people (mainly dudes) who think theres going to be some sort of techno vending machine pumping out hot fucked up girls for them to have their way with.[/quote]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Great line. Wish I'd said it.
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Re: GREAT CAMP IDEA

Postby Ugly Dougly » Tue Mar 04, 2008 3:09 pm

alaska burners wrote:Wouldn't it be fun if someone started a Don't FUCK ME Camp.

This would be a place where anyone could hang out that did not want to have sex without worry of being asked by anyone for sex.


You'd probably get more action than anyone. :)
Please to visit PAGE TWO.
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Postby BitterDan » Tue Mar 04, 2008 5:28 pm

You'd probably get more action than anyone.


Haha yeah really. It would probably achieve the opposite effect as intended. It's kind of like screaming at the top of your lungs every time you pass Hushville. :twisted:
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Postby AntiM » Tue Mar 04, 2008 6:16 pm

There's a reason we aren't allowed to bring guns ...
These are not my fuckos.
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Postby BitterDan » Tue Mar 04, 2008 6:58 pm

There's a reason we aren't allowed to bring guns ...


Wub joo AntiM :D
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Postby twinwitin » Tue Mar 04, 2008 8:02 pm

WHAT??? :shock: No ever-happening sex at Burning man??? :x AAARRRGGGGHHHH I can't believe this! :x My image of Burning man is totally blown.. Booo Hoooo :cry: The pain...the pain.... ha ha ha ha ha :lol:
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