I've been wiping my own butt now for over 30 years and it's getting really old. I'm offering someone the opportunity to join my camp and to wipe my butt for me on the playa for the whole week.
I realize that there has been a lot of talk about people being exploited in these work exchange offers. I'm very sensitive to that, so I've taken the time to list exactly what my expectations are as well as exactly what I'm willing to provide for you, so that there will be no misunderstandings and we can both relax and really enjoy the event.
What I'm offering:
1. I have an extra tent for you along with some prime registered theme camp space. You can take up approximately 25sq ft of space, plus your vehicle (sorry, no RV's or generators allowed in my camp).
2. My camp is conveniently located near all the major attractions.
3. Any schwag I receive (and I get A LOT) will all be gifted to you. You will never buy mardi-gras beads again, I promise. I also purchased enough glow sticks to light up Vegas during a black out, use as many as you like.
4. My camp has a name, but you can tell everyone it's your camp and you can name it whatever you like. If people ask "Is this <insert your chosen camp name here>?" I'll smile and tell them that it is. It's like getting your own theme camp without all the hassle of submitting a clean up plan!
4. Unlimited Chai Tea refills!
My expectations for you:
1. You will only be required to be "on-call" for 8 hours a day, usually between 9am and 5pm as this is when I take my "big dump" of the day. Being "on call" means that wherever I go, you go. Don't worry, you'll like the places I go, and we'll have fun together.
2. I really don't want to wipe myself at all during the week. So when you're not "on call" I'll be wearing an adult diaper and you'll be expected to clean me up at the start of your next shift.
3. You remain relatively sober during your shifts, it's important for me that we share the same reality.
A few things worth mentioning:
1. This is not a kink or a sexual thing. If it turns you on, cool, but I'm really just looking for someone to wipe my butt. You can be male or female, I really don't care.
2. I'm looking for someone with experience in wiping people's butts. So if you've worked in a convalescent hospital, that's going to be a big plus in my book.
3. You should realize that the most important thing is me, and my needs.
Thank you so much! Please send all resumes along with the reasons why you want to wipe Chai Guy's Butt for a week to firstname.lastname@example.org
or just post them here. I'll decide on the winner later next week. Good Luck!