Pet Diaries

All things outside of Burning Man.

Pet Diaries

Postby Last Real Burner » Fri Sep 19, 2003 2:55 pm

What do our pets write in their diaries while we are away at burningman.

the rebbi
"Do you know what happened to the boy who got everything he wished for? - He lived happily ever after".
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doggy doo...

Postby Last Real Burner » Fri Sep 19, 2003 2:57 pm

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Day number 180

8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
 9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
 9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
 10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
 11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
 12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
 1:00 pm OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
 4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
 5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
 5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Day number 181

8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
 9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
 9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
 10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
 11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
 12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
 1:00 pm OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
 4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
 5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
 5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Day number 182

8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
 9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
 9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
 10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
 11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
 12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
 1:00 pm OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
 1:30 pm - ooooooo. bath. bummer.
 4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
 5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
 5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

"Your Butt smells Better Than Mine"
Spot
"Do you know what happened to the boy who got everything he wished for? - He lived happily ever after".
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Kitty's Kat...

Postby Last Real Burner » Fri Sep 19, 2003 2:58 pm

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little
 dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am
 forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is
 the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining
 the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another
 houseplant.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around
 their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try
 this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse
 these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their
 favorite chair... must try this on their bed.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in
 attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to
 strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about
 what a good little cat I was... Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no
 good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it
 included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick
 minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of
 thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I
 was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear
 the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call
 "beer.." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to
 MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to
 my advantage.

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe
 snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to
 return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has
 got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain
 he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal
 room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of
  time...

"Go Fuck Yourself and Leave Me Alone!"
Persia
"Do you know what happened to the boy who got everything he wished for? - He lived happily ever after".
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Postby Angry Butterfly » Sun Sep 21, 2003 3:01 pm

Dave the Pug:
Where is Mommy? She gets up and feeds me earlier than daddy. That's OK I like daddy better.

INKY (the cat):
THE GIRL is finaly gone. I finaly have ALEX to MYSELF.
I took the road less traveled, and now I would like to go back and find the paved one.
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While I'm away-- The Diary of Mr. Spock

Postby Stormy » Sun Sep 21, 2003 10:18 pm

Image

Wonder what sort of cat toys she's bringing back this time? I love all those shiny, dangly things.
Be the change you seek in the world.
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Postby Stormy » Mon Sep 22, 2003 8:44 pm

Fine, I post an absolutely adorable picture of my cat and nobody says, boo! :x
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Postby Markov Chaney » Mon Sep 22, 2003 8:48 pm

Boo!

Cute cat.
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Postby PJ » Mon Sep 22, 2003 8:55 pm

Image
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I'm Having an Out of Body Experience...

Postby Last Real Burner » Mon Sep 22, 2003 9:00 pm

Does that include the leash?

incurably,
mr smith
"Do you know what happened to the boy who got everything he wished for? - He lived happily ever after".
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Bite this ;)

Postby Stormy » Mon Sep 22, 2003 9:18 pm

Image
Be the change you seek in the world.
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Postby Angry Butterfly » Tue Sep 23, 2003 8:32 pm

your cat is cute, but mine is cuter. too bad she wants to get rid of me. My cat is EVIL.
I took the road less traveled, and now I would like to go back and find the paved one.
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Postby Spokes » Tue Sep 23, 2003 8:53 pm

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Postby TestesInSac » Tue Sep 23, 2003 8:58 pm

Holy shit! Man, that's awful.
I am my own sock puppet.
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Postby Tiara » Tue Sep 23, 2003 9:59 pm

If you needed a nudge to decide if you're a "dog person" or a "cat person", I highly recommend mycathatesyou.com. . . of course, I'm a self-proclaimed "dog person"
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Postby Stormy » Tue Sep 23, 2003 10:12 pm

Angry Butterfly wrote:your cat is cute, but mine is cuter. too bad she wants to get rid of me. My cat is EVIL.


Pictures, pictures please. There are no unsubstantiated claims around these parts. :wink:
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Postby Stormy » Tue Sep 23, 2003 10:14 pm

Tiara wrote:If you needed a nudge to decide if you're a "dog person" or a "cat person", I highly recommend mycathatesyou.com. . . of course, I'm a self-proclaimed "dog person"


Personally, I like the self-reliance of a cat. Owning a dog is like having a child that never grows up. (Not that I hate dogs, just don't want to own any more.)
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Postby Chai Guy » Thu Oct 02, 2003 5:52 pm

Dog Haiku

I love my master;
Thus I perfume myself with
This long-rotten squirrel.

I lie belly-up
In the sunshine, happier than
You ever will be.

Today I sniffed
Many dog butts--I celebrate
By kissing your face.

I sound the alarm!
Mailman Fiend--come to kill us all!
Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Neighbor's cat--come to kill us all!
Look! Look! Look! Look!

My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I have
Made a puddle.

I hate my choke chain--
Look, world, they strangle me! Ack!
Ack! Ack! Ack! Ack!

Sleeping here, my chin
On your foot--no greater bliss--
well, Maybe catching cats

The cat is not all
Bad--she fills the little box
With Tootsie Rolls.

Dig under fence--why?
Because it's there. Because it's
There. Because it's there.

I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially
When you are eating
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Postby Kinetic » Thu Oct 02, 2003 7:14 pm

We have 6 cats, and 2 dogs. I prefer cats. Most dogs are stupid, imho. Our new basset, you pick him up and he pees all over the place or on you. The cats are clean, they're fun to watch, and I've actually grown attached to one. And I used to HATE cats. I would have been the driver that hit the cat in PJ's picture at one time. Not now.

As for BM diaries, the dogs could care less but the cats all met me at the door when I came home from BM and I had to pet all of them before they would leave me alone. I was actually missed by them.

(Or so they wanted me to believe!)
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Postby Lydia Love » Thu Oct 02, 2003 7:24 pm

cat haikus


Oh, it's you again
you can pet me for awhile
then your face comes off

I show you my love
by winding between your legs
you fall and go boom!
It's all about the squirrels.
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Postby Last Real Burner » Fri Oct 03, 2003 9:03 am

Kinetic wrote:We have 6 cats, and 2 dogs.

As for BM diaries, the dogs could care less but the cats all met me at the door when I came home from BM and I had to pet all of them before they would leave me alone. I was actually missed by them.

(Or so they wanted me to believe!)


Cat #1: I hear his car, let's see if he smells like fish again.

Cat #4: I just want to rub some of my cat hair on him.

Cat #6: Maybe he has food with him.

Cat #2: See if he's heard from the great Cat God Irisisss...

Cat #3: Bet I can make him trip this time

Dog #1: Where's the bone. Where's the bone.

Dog #2: Get the bone first. Get the Bone first.



"the kenetic cat and dog group"
"Do you know what happened to the boy who got everything he wished for? - He lived happily ever after".
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Postby Kinetic » Fri Oct 03, 2003 9:32 am

That was great...and likely more accurate than I care to think about.
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Postby antron » Sat Oct 04, 2003 12:16 pm

hey!

where's petsuntileaten's diary?
isn't this the pet's diary thread?
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