most clueless burner

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most clueless burner

Postby antron » Mon Sep 15, 2003 6:32 pm

i picked up a hitch hiker in reno on the way to the burn. he was from japan, making his way across the usa, and wanted to go to burningman.

his english was not very good but better than my japanese. we talked, laughed and pointed most of the way down 447.

we got to empire, and i realized that he didn't travel with much...just a pack...so i asked him what he would eat...and he pulls out this loaf of bread. and then i asked him what he would drink, and he showed me a couple of litres of water.

i felt guilty and wondered whether i should take him to the playa. but at the gas station, he pulls out this wad of bills, and buys a couple of things. we talked some more about what he needed for bm, and i explained about the bus to town. he agreed that he would use it, and get whatever he needed.

well, i let him off at the gate, and he bought his ticket...last i saw him was hiking into the dust.

i don't really think he knew what he was in for...
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Postby Badger » Mon Sep 15, 2003 6:34 pm

I hope he was not part of the clueless, nine member camp of Japanese folks who had to leave the playa rather um, abruptly.
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Postby Lydia Love » Mon Sep 15, 2003 6:37 pm

Badger,

is this going to be another one of those situations where you give just enough Ranger-insider info to tantalize but then stop talking because it would be unethical to give details?
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Postby Badger » Mon Sep 15, 2003 6:40 pm

Well, let's just say that one of them was clueless enough to fire up a fatty five feet from the hood of a parked BLM ranger.
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Postby RebA! » Mon Sep 15, 2003 6:40 pm

We greeted a fellow, thursday morning (midnght to 4). With "couple gallons" of water in the trunk and was going to sleep under/next to his car for the next 3 days. There was nothing in his car, but a half filled gatorade bottle.

The greeters kinda all gathered around him, in wonder where all of his stuff was, and suggested he think about getting some stuff...that being food.
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Postby Kamakhya » Tue Sep 16, 2003 12:17 pm

We had one of these clueless types wander into our camp and stay for days. He hitched a ride in from a girl with no ticket. Walked from the gate with a guitar, a liter of water, a sleep roll, a box of candy and a box of glasses. He dropped the glasses on the way, so it really was just a box of broken glasses. He heard some campmates jamming and joined in. The problem came when he didn't leave. Basically he thought his charming smile would win him all the food and drink he wanted.

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Postby precipitate » Tue Sep 16, 2003 12:21 pm

> one of them was clueless enough to fire up a fatty five feet from the
> hood of a parked BLM ranger

Oh, you mean these folks who " probably thought drugs were OK at BM."

<snort>
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Postby PetsUntilEaten » Tue Sep 16, 2003 12:57 pm

we had a friend with a different sense of burningman that we stopped camping with - - - in following years we asked nicely that he, his friends, and the army of rv's not camp next to us - but we welcomed their visits.

after one visit I found a large pile of cigarette butts that a big shiney constantly showering hipster friend of his had left -

I just brought them to him in a ziplock & said "will you tell your friend why this is wrong? thanks."

ps - we had a lovely japanese couple camped next to us last year that had one hell of a home made rig using their pick-up truck, some tarp & a small tent. she was an amazing artist that drew designs all over their tarp. They were touring the whole US for four months.
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Postby supersurly » Tue Sep 16, 2003 2:11 pm

I was riding an art car when this confused looking girl sat next to me, wearing the consumer uniform(gap, etc). So I try to talk to her.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee.

She didn't know what the esplanade was, she didn't know what the city was shaped like, didn't know what street she was camped on, wasn't drunk or high, didn't understand the clock system, I don't really fucking understand what she was doing, but it wasn't right.

Oh yeah, this was sat night, and she looked about 18.

Another guy gets the Almost There! award, as he had been pretty cool the whole week, he was from england and camped with us. We had been smoking large amounts of weed the whole week, and it was obvious we had tons of extra pot, so he comes up and asks me if he can buy a sack of weed. I said that was the wrong question to ask and he just kinda got this confused look on his face...
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Postby OregonRed » Tue Sep 16, 2003 2:42 pm

My husband and I usually have our tix held at will call (we don't lose them that way!) and when we were pulling in on Sunday to pick up our tix there was this guy standing there with no water, no food, no tent, no nothing with his hand held up in the air like a hippie at a Dead show.

I was so startled by this, I couldn't even comment at first. I mean, it's one thing to do that in the comforts of civilization for a $20 concert ticket, but on the playa? For a $250 event ticket? WTF?! My husband also brought up the fact that he was standing out there with absolutely NOTHING. So he would have be mooching off the community all week.

After picking up our tix we walked back by him and he asked "Hey man, you got an extra ticket?"

My respone was, "This isn't a fucking Dead show, dude. "

Later in the week I was relating this story to a person at the Center Camp who informed me that they had seen this guy on Monday morning, looking like hell, and still trying to get someone to give him a ticket. She had told him essentially the same thing I had, and we had a giggle over it.

She then said that people like that are the reason for life flight on the playa. Scary thought!!!
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Postby Chai Guy » Tue Sep 16, 2003 3:17 pm

In defense of Japanese Burners (not that they needed defending or anything just thought a positive story on them might be nice right about now). I met a group of incredibly well prepared kids from Japan last year. How well prepared? They invited me back to their camp for dinner, and when I politely declined they insisted saying "NO, you have to come tonight, our Sushi Chef is flying back to Japan first thing tomorrow morning!"
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Postby PJ » Tue Sep 16, 2003 3:23 pm

I can't make any Japanese competence or incompetence reports. However I can state with extreme confidence that B.Man needs more Koreans--for comic relief, and to keep the medivac crews from getting bored waiting around.

There's a glacier on Mt. McKinley known amongst mountain rescue folks as "The Orient Express" due to the quantity of dead Korean climbing teams all tangled up in their ropes at the bottom. It's a good place to collect free climbing equipment, parkas, etc.
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Postby III » Tue Sep 16, 2003 3:27 pm

kim jong-il in particular, i spose.

that's a fine playa doo if i've ever seen one. he'd fit right in.
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Re: most clueless burner

Postby Todd in Seattle » Tue Sep 16, 2003 5:31 pm

antrony wrote:i picked up a hitch hiker in reno on the way to the burn. he was from japan, making his way across the usa, and wanted to go to burningman.

his english was not very good but better than my japanese. we talked, laughed and pointed most of the way down 447.

we got to empire, and i realized that he didn't travel with much...just a pack...so i asked him what he would eat...and he pulls out this loaf of bread. and then i asked him what he would drink, and he showed me a couple of litres of water.

i felt guilty and wondered whether i should take him to the playa. but at the gas station, he pulls out this wad of bills, and buys a couple of things. we talked some more about what he needed for bm, and i explained about the bus to town. he agreed that he would use it, and get whatever he needed.

well, i let him off at the gate, and he bought his ticket...last i saw him was hiking into the dust.

i don't really think he knew what he was in for...


I think I helped this guy out for a few days. Danger Ranger had been giving him a bowl of rice for breadfast everyday, and asked me if I could help him with a little food and shelter. So, he basically lived with me for 3 days. His English was pretty poor (I have tutored Japanese ESL students) but we were able to communicate.

One thing that really surprised me though, aside from how clueless he was, was how ready he was to accept someone else's shelter, food, water, weed, gifts galore, etc; and then give back NOTHING. All I wanted in the way of payment was a chance to make a new (Japanese) friend, of which I have many. Yet with him, I kept getting the feeling that he was secretive (about what, I have no idea) and less than open. I'm certain his English was better that he was letting on to. We went out once together and he (tried to) ditch me at the first club we hit. I told him (slowly and clearly) that he was a selfish asshole who would no longer be living off of me. That night I moved his black backpack, sleeping bag and lots of water (donated by me and others) and food (donated by me) about 20 feet out of my camp and into walk-in camping. He showed up about noon or so and moved his stuff closer to the gate.

I've known dozens and dozens of Japanese citizens, usually while they are studying here in Seattle, and this was the first asshole (of the user variety) that I've ever met.

O.K. he did say he liked my 8 foot x 5 foot Rising Sun flag, but who wouldn't?
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Postby RebA! » Tue Sep 16, 2003 5:49 pm

Oh i totally remembered another one.

Standing at the Temple of whatever..honor, joy,love sorrow.. A lady came up to hubby and I and asked where center camp was.

We pointed in the direction of center camp. And she is like...oh uh.. isnt it over there, pointing in the direction of the trash fence. Uh.. no its that way. See the lamps and the big flags on top of the cafe? No.. she says. So we are like. Ok go straight this way.. pointing again in the direction of the cafe.

She takes off in some random direction. Who the fuck knows where she ended up.
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Drug laws

Postby Stormy » Tue Sep 16, 2003 6:00 pm

precipitate wrote:> one of them was clueless enough to fire up a fatty five feet from the
> hood of a parked BLM ranger

Oh, you mean these folks who " probably thought drugs were OK at BM."

<snort>


Knowing the drug use laws in other countries is no small matter. In high school while preparing to go abroad as an exchange student, we were warned that in some countries drug possession is punishable by execution. The AFS organization made sure we were clear that they couldn't bail us out on that one.
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Feelings of guilt to this day

Postby DogBoy » Tue Sep 16, 2003 6:05 pm

In '02 I brought the biggest fool I have ever had to deal with...

A member of our camp told this guy we were going to Burning Man. He called me & asked about a ride, camping, etc, with us & I said we may be able to help him. Turned out I knew the guy.

The day we're leaving he shows expecting a ride;we don't have the room for him. He whines & cries & tells me how much he will help out & contribute & some how I wind up making room for him. In doing so I become aware he has nowhere near enough water, & tell him he needs to get more at our last supply stop before the playa. When we make that stop, many people pick up water, all of which goes in my rig.

By the time we get to the gate, I have realized what a jackass this guy is. I am ready to drop him at the gate & let him fend for himself. As we (not him: the prepared folks) are picking up our will call tickets, he asks if he can "borrow a few bucks" as he does not quite have enough for his ticket. A few bucks turns out to be $160.

I'm done with him. He isn't getting a penny from me, but my campmates (who did not have to ride down with him) are a very generous bunch & all chip in.

So we all get inside & start setting up camp. All but this guy, who in the first hour of being there, steals about 20 gallons of water from us because he didn't buy any more water, does not lift a finger to set up, begins talking to himself (no drugs involved), and pisses on the corner of our kitchen tent.

This is just the beginning.

Within 24 hours, he has 1/2 the water; he takes a gallon with him to wander & leaves it somewhere, has washed his feet in the kitchen sink, blown his nose on the dishtowel, stolen more water, and pissed IN the kitchen tent (again).

Guess who gets an ultimatum.

When the dust cleared & the screaming ended, everyone in camp had yelled at him, my wife had begun throwing his stuff out of his tent & then disassembling his tent while he was in it, & I had to remove myself from the situation so as not to maim him.

The next day he shows up while I am gone, wanting to talk to me & "straighten things out". He is once again chased out of camp.

The SOB put me in such a bad head space that not a single brain stretch worked for me that week. I still had fun, but felt guilty for having brought him to BRC.

So about a week after we get back (I don't know & don't care how he got home) he shows up at my front door with a piece of glass he made for me (nothing functional, just a paperweight) looking to get his drum we left at my house for space reasons. He hopes we can get together for a drink sometime & I can explain to him what he did that pissed everyone off so bad.

I told him "Dude, I abandoned your stupid ass in the desert & threatened your life & you show up on my front porch? You don't have the brains god gave a bag of hair!"

I then told his girlfriend to get out for her own sake while she could.

Gosh, I feel much better for having ranted. Hope you enjoy & never have to deal with somebody like this. I can only blame myself, but have become even more discriminating in who I even tell about BRC.
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Postby Badger » Tue Sep 16, 2003 6:06 pm

And then there was the woman who was speaking in tongues...

Small backpack, liter of water and ashes falling out of both ears. Scary shit up close but the entertainment value from 20' away was outfuckingstanding!
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lol

Postby Trash » Tue Sep 16, 2003 6:37 pm

I went to my 1st national rainbow gathering this summer. Too many idiots showed up without a tent, sleeping bag or even a pair of shoes.

I would say easily 10-20 percent showed up with nothing including shoes.

I do hope those people stay the hell away from black rock city.

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lol

Postby Trash » Tue Sep 16, 2003 6:39 pm

I went to my 1st national rainbow gathering this summer. Too many idiots showed up without a tent, sleeping bag or even a pair of shoes.

I would say easily 10-20 percent showed up with nothing including shoes.

I do hope those people stay the hell away from black rock city.

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Re: lol

Postby PJ » Tue Sep 16, 2003 7:02 pm

Trash wrote:I went to my 1st national rainbow gathering this summer...


Why?

Trash wrote:...Too many idiots showed up without a tent, sleeping bag or even a pair of shoes. I do hope those people stay the hell away from black rock city.


Why? Some weeding of the unfit is good for the gene pool. The desert should do the job.
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Postby III » Tue Sep 16, 2003 7:03 pm

>The desert should do the job.

brc hardly qualifies as "the desert."
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Postby PJ » Tue Sep 16, 2003 7:12 pm

III wrote:brc hardly qualifies as "the desert."



150 years ago people thought of everything west of the Mississippi River as "The Great American Desert".

Then the steel mouldboard plow and centrifugal irrigation pumps came along, and a homestead in Nebraska or even West Texas looked way better than did being a European peasant or factory worker or miner.
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Postby Kinetic » Tue Sep 16, 2003 9:36 pm

Badger wrote:And then there was the woman who was speaking in tongues...

Small backpack, liter of water and ashes falling out of both ears. Scary shit up close but the entertainment value from 20' away was outfuckingstanding!


Speaking in tongues...more like half ass french and a bunch of made up words. She was no more spiritual or psychic than a horse's ass.

She wants to be a voodoo priestess, a powerful shaman and a capturer of souls, and she did have some interesting amulets and talismans and other things to pretend to be something she's CERTAINLY NOT.

I have a rule not to mess with other people's experience. She was my exception this year. She scared people who had no idea what she was about or trying to do. I laughed in her face...3 times. She wanted to cast spells and try things she had no power to do. She wanted them to go back to her camp to become involved in specific rituals, and not your tame run of the mill shit you can read in a book at Barnes & Noble either.

Most Clueless Burner. If she's not in first place, she's certainly the runner up. She was sent scurrying into the darkness of the wholly other with her pathetic wanna be male friend and hopefully she won't be back trying to lure innocents into rituals they have no business being involved in. She was lucky she only got laughed at. She deserved much worse.

And with that I hope she never returns to BRC and I have no further comment on her presence there.
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Postby Badger » Tue Sep 16, 2003 11:21 pm

I went to my 1st national rainbow gathering this summer. Too many idiots showed up without a tent, sleeping bag or even a pair of shoes.


I went to a regional last year and had this puppy ask me if I'd trade him my North Face 4-season tent (the one originally designed by Buckmisnter Fuller) for a few beads and one of those woven flea collars.

Asked me what was wrong when I blew a load of PBR out of my nose.
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Postby Kinetic » Tue Sep 16, 2003 11:27 pm

I've actually thought about going to one of the Gatherings but I've heard more negatives than positives about it. Is it worth going? For those of you who have been, would you consider shooting me a quick PM and give me an overview of what it's like and what to expect? Would I be better off saving my vacation days to go to Burning Flipside instead?

Thanks!
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Postby Badger » Tue Sep 16, 2003 11:30 pm

Flipside. Definitely.

There's hippies there as well but the real Chupcabra policia took care of those folks in short order.
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Postby Kinetic » Tue Sep 16, 2003 11:35 pm

Chupacubra Policia. I heard of them this year, never saw them once. The people that I heard talking about them were totally freakin out. I know what a Chupacubra is but what did the Policia do on the playa this year? Are there stories anyone would share since I'm clueless about them?
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Postby blyslv » Wed Sep 17, 2003 8:52 am

PJ wrote:I
There's a glacier on Mt. McKinley known amongst mountain rescue folks as "The Orient Express" due to the quantity of dead Korean climbing teams all tangled up in their ropes at the bottom. It's a good place to collect free climbing equipment, parkas, etc.


It's actually a 4000 foot couloir from the top of the Football Field. But yes Koreans do account for an abnormally high percentage of accidents and fatalities on Denali.
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Re: lol

Postby blyslv » Wed Sep 17, 2003 8:58 am

Trash wrote:I went to my 1st national rainbow gathering this summer. Too many idiots showed up without a tent, sleeping bag or even a pair of shoes.

I would say easily 10-20 percent showed up with nothing including shoes.

I do hope those people stay the hell away from black rock city.

-Trash


A freind of mine touring the country after 2 years in a Zen monastary went to the RG and left after about 12 hours. It was part of the reason she decided against coming to BM.
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