Welcome to this weeks episode of Silent Radio. Today we present an episode of unusual urgency. Frankly, the manuscript is still being written as we go in the air. With only two weeks left until The Beginning Of The End Of The World, art and reality may in fact be merging. We take you now to the Spooks and Traitors Union Hall, where we have a reporter standing by.
It is fairly quiet in the Union Hall, with various spies and spooks reading newspapers and playing board games as they wait for their next assignment. Spy vs Spy are playing chess in the far corner, occasionally murmuring pleasantries and professional compliments. George Smiley just walked thru, apparently deep in conversation with the bullet-riddled ghost of Vidkun Quisling. A typical day in this room -- except for the growing excitement behind the glass-partitioned counter, where the dispatchers work.
Wait a minute... something new is happening...
(slam! -- a door is flung open)
What we have been anticipating for several hours seems to be happening!
Where is he?! I saw him this morning! Where is Our Hero?! Is he available??? Somebody... Anybody... Find Our Hero! It is urgent!!!!!!!
No, no, I need our best sleuth, our most conniving collaborator... our... our... We need Our Hero!
(Uuuuurrrppppppp -- a drowsy belch emerges from under a pile of newspapers)
Ah, thank Herring, you’re here! There has been a momentous development in the matter of Apokiliptika versus Herring. In my office!
Moments later, Our Hero is seated in the Chief Dispatcher’s office and sipping black coffee.
It’s about one... eh... let me see... one Admiral aDolf.
He appeared from nowhere. Like a previously unknown Neptune, suddenly released by the Sirens...; like an apparition from the Maelstrom, except in the spotless uniform of an Admiral. His appearance threatens to derail the scheduled Truce of August 31st. The masses are flocking around him, demanding elections. Yes, Apokiliptikans too! If he displaces Kernul Killbuck as Supreme Ruler of the Realm, Doom may be... eh... doomed.
Our Hero (suddenly alarmed):
Never mind that! What about the party August 31st!
Now you’re catching on!
Find out all you can about this Admiral aDolf. Trace his family tree... uh... family kelp. Find out anything you can. Get the dirt on this guy!
On my way.
(door opens and closes; footsteps fade; there is a distant clickity-click of a side arm being checked and re-holstered.)
[Author’s note: All right, boys and girls. Who are Admiral aDolf’s ancestors?]