Welcome aboard, Temperance!
I think I understand what you mean about not feeling at home in your own house. I even own mine free and clear, and I still do not feel the least bit at home here. And I don't think I am the only one, so you have soul mates here. Again, welcome to the gang.
Many years ago, I knew a lovely and law-abiding lady whose husband took a wrong fork in the road and wound up in prison. It took her a while, but she finally got up the courage to divorce him and start her life over. I don't know if this might apply to you, but you reminded me of this lady.
In case your name, Temperance, means that you abstain from alcoholic beverages, I should mention that in some threads around here, like the Bar threads, we joke about alcohol quite a bit. Please don't let that bother you. There are a number of non-drinkers here also.
Enough for now!