As you'll see from my report, you were most appreciated CO. I'll be mailing stuff here soon.
and now, back to our show...
We’re back for another installment of the 2013 Final Wipe-up.
This year was successful only because of the old adage: "The Playa provides”. Alas, my Pottie PA cacked on Monday morning, and by the afternoon, my faithful Bullhorn crapped out. Oh woe! The ministrations of our Village’s biggest brains couldn’t resuscitate my sound system. This year was saved by Monty, who donated the use of his massive bullhorn, soon named “The Mutherfucker”. So we have another Winner of Burningman - Monty! <A standing ovation erupts>
The shit storm this year was astounding!
My equipment broke down most confounding.
Monty came thru,
And enabled my spew.
Our success overall was resounding!
Oh, but this wasn’t the end of my challenges this year. Heavens no. This year I developed a nasty blister as of (post burn)Sunday morning, and after having it checked by Rampart, I was in a sorry state and unable to do anything foot mobile for the rest of my desert stay. Limp City! Fuck! So as a result of this injury and the corresponding dehydration sickness of Gonzo at that same period, we were unable to take the exterior signs off the porta-potties before our departure. I have since notified Mike (Operations Manager of USS/North Reno Div) and apologized. I realize these units are basically dedicated to this one event, but it just seems tacky to me. I was damaged and it was my own dumb fault for not breaking in those shoes before bringing them out. DUMB!
What went truly right
The CO stepped into his role of Deep South Poopervisor with stamina and enthusiasm that thrilled me on a daily basis. He’ll no doubt have his own stories to tell, but in short, by not having to THINK about those spokes, this freed up my brain to juggle the rest of the city, confident in his success. I look forward to his post-playa report no doubt resplendent with ideas.
This year I focused on just soliciting Pottie Friends for the inner banks (D street). This was because my time constraints vs. population density demanded this compromise. Overall, it turned out well. I again had varying degrees of enthusiasm, and found some camp “sat” on their stash of TP due to poor communication with their campmates or just distractions (no really, people actually get distracted out there!).
I have some ideas on how to improve matters in this area:
1: Pottie Etiquette Defined sign on each inner bank post will include a line describing what this program is and how best to help by locating the TP that’s probably in LOS.
2: Special signs to post where the stash is visible. This idea came from one PF this year: Black Chicken at the 2:30 bank. He took one of my signs and wrote “MORE TP” and and arrow pointing down. FABULOUS! The CO wants to mass-produce this sign for all PFs to display.
3: PF instructions will include info re the “Zip That Shit” program.
The "THIS IS NOT BULLSHIT” signs ware a huge success
This year for the first time, I saw people humming bikes just as a USS truck was coming up to the bank. And people graciously waited for them to complete their servicing, and instructing others about this courtesy. This will be replicated next year.
Other Pottie- Art
I heard today from Soundman that his project, the Pauditron, was disappointing due to an epidemic of theft of his music boxes. He solemnly stated that he cannot recommend any kind of electronic device to be placed in the porta-potties by anyone in the future. That was the bad news. The good news is the the Lit Shitters program was successful, although they also were menaced by thieves. This was my favorite “other pottie art” project, as the guys lit the units using solar LED lights that made the unit glow with just enough light to do one’s biz safely. Delightful!
In years past, I’ve heard that USS enjoys our graffiti. Indeed, it’s some of the most intelligent they’ve ever seen! Many times I’ve seen people write about closing the toilet lid. This year, someone made a stencil: PUT DOWN THE LID. Now that’s commitment to the cause! Much appreciated.
BMIR - Pottie PSA’s
At the beginning of the week, I was able to get to BMIR to record a pottie PSA about trash and hovering.
Do you use the porta-potties? Of course you do.
United Site Services urges us to treat the porta potties with respect.
Do not, I repeat, do nott throw wet wipes, flushable wipes and other trash into the potties, because that trash has to be manually raked out of the separator by the beautiful men at United Site Services. Please pack it out with you.
Also - please spread the word about hovering. This is when someone has squatted over the toilet seat and left their art project on the seat for the next participant to enjoy. So if you hover or know someone who hovers, please lift the seat and the lid to do your biz.
And we can all have a positive excretory experience each and every time.
By the end of the week, the shit volume had reached such proportions, that I needed to get the word out to have all participants carry on their person a few zip ties. This was due to the units potentially filling up during the night, and creating the “6” above the rim” effect by morning that Cindy at the Health Department isn’t thrilled to see. We also continued to have RAT BASTARDS that crap on the seat, so this as well was pointed out in my PSA as a good reason to ZIP THAT DOOR!
Have you gone to the porta pottie just to find that it’s full? CRAP!
You go to the next one, right?
Our population is HUGE!
This is RobbiDobbs, Chief Poopervisor of the Pottie Project, urging you to take along a few zip ties when you go out tonight. So if you see a full pottie, or a crapped on seat, then ZIP THAT DOOR!
United Site Services appreciates your help.
Finally, I have a vignette to tell about what Eeyore found on (post burn) Monday evening. Two girls were discovered dumping all the piss bottle that had been left around the 2:30 bank. This was the worse example in the entire city of this laziness and irresponsibility. He asked if I had any schwag left to gift them, and I offered up the STOP THE HORROR shirts, as there were a few left and in easy reach. What an amazing gift of self these girls gave us! For the rest of the evening, we were in awe of them. Bravo!
This year was the biggest shit storm of my career, and when the cacophony of it all was swirling around me, I had this one sentence that kept repeating: All of my experiences have prepared me for this. I didn’t collapse or have a breakdown (ok, sleep dep sucks), but saw the whole picture, and utilized my vast resources all over the City. I had faith, and those around me carried me through the worst. Of course, the real heroes of Burningman were the beautiful men at USS. They did an amazing job keeping their shit together, and at the end of the week I was proud to shake their hands and thank them personally. So, dear Camper, next year when you see a USS employee out there, shake his hand and thank him for his work. They value our respect more than you can imagine.