Let me preface this post by saying - I'm an extremely motivated virgin!!!
For the last 3 months I've been eating, sleeping, drinking and living Burning Man. My coworkers and family think I'm whacked, but I'm just drivin' by what this is beginning to mean to me. I haven't stopped listening to BMIR since before BRC 2013. I've downloaded Spark off iTunes and watched it four times since its release on Friday.
Here is a little piece I wrote and am continuing to append about what impact BM is having on my life.Newbie Homage of CandorEnigma
I heard someone mention your name a couple of years ago. “Ya,” I thought, “that would be a blast, but where is it and what’s it about?” I mean who wouldn’t want to party like a rock star non-stop for one week without repercussion? That was all I knew about you, or that’s what I thought I knew about you. It seemed like you were an enigma originating in some far away god forsaken unreachable place with lots of strung out, wasted, no pot to piss in mother fuckers raving and destroying the environment making it a royal pain in the ass to have fun unless you were doing the same.Misconception
Fast forward to 2013 a mere few of weeks before the largest temporary community ever seeks to befall on that dry lake bed in a remote part of Nevada. I’m giddy with drink and excitement just being able to follow the news as this passionate procession makes its way to your abode. I realize I have nothing more to offer at this point than every other swinging dick that has never set foot on your playa, but I feel like there is something more inside of me. I surely don’t possess any knowledge of what it means to be burner. Fuck, I hadn't even heard mention of the 10 principles at this point. I’m still floundering in the mindset that this is nothing more than a heavy metal after party, full every cross-section of humanity that grew up on the streets of downtown Portland. Then came a realization that I don’t have a fuckin’ clue!My “Twelve Step” Realization
Realizing I didn't have a clue was the best thing that could have happened to me at this point. What an awakening! I feel like I’m back in rehab and arriving at enlightenment with my higher power. I had to grasp the fact that I was powerless over this thing and that my life would remain unmanageable as long as I continued my attempts at defining Burning Man. After coming to a resolve with my ignorance that’s when things began to open up for me. I began to internalize that if I just quit trying to define Burning Man I could then begin understanding Burning Man. A power greater than me could restore my sanity if I kept myself out of the fuckin’ way. That was the moment I decided to let go and let Him dictate what he means to me. I know full well the meaning isn't the same for everyone, or maybe it isn't the same for anyone. All I know is that I wasn't going to profess to identify what it was.
Just like in the Program I had to find a sponsor; someone who could guide me in this process and reconcile facts from myths and misconceptions. Not knowing a single person who had ever been to Burning Man left me without a strong pool of candidates to choose from. Not to worry, this is the 21st century I’m sure I could find a surrogate to fill this role. A few clicks later thanks to Google and some keywords I was inundated with a plethora of information. Unbeknownst to me I found my pseudo-sponsor on YouTube. I came across John ‘Halcyon Lujah’ Styn who I could immediately connect with. He broke down for me what Burning Man wasn't and what it was for him. I haven’t agreed with everything John’s said, but I wouldn't with a tactile sponsor either. John was able to act as the conduit which allowed me to connect with what Burning Man was destined to mean for me. This was my first awareness of the 10 Principles of Burning Man. The video “Burning Man’s Principles – Halcyon style” http://youtu.be/o_38I3MQsc
. There was immediacy in the collapse of my previous conceived notions of what Burning Man was. The hippie drug fest, full of sex and over indulgence was flat out gone! That may remain what burning man is for some and so be it, that’s there realization and I only need accept that. With every nugget of awakening I experience the realization for me is that it’s less and less about my initial notions and more and more about a ‘Way’.The Way
My current awareness has me believing more and more BM will in some manner become the “Way” for me. The Way is still in its infancy and won’t fully be realized or rejected until I have become a burner in the physical sense.Beginning or Ending
I want to be a part of BM in 2014 so badly, but I feel there will be extreme difficulty in acquiring a ticket. I don't know any burners, camps or groups other than those I've been friending and liking on FB and have yet to hear from any of them. I want to make 2014 an incredible success for the community. I want to gift an art idea and get it registered for placement on the playa as soon as registration opens once again. I am in need of engineers, electricians, and project managers to help with this endeavor. The more I'm getting myself in deeper I can see a real need for like minded people to assist in the scope of this effort. Beyond the art, I want to create a Theme Camp or a more wise choice be part of a Theme Camp. I want to make sure I'm a good fit for the camp and that the camp will fit me as well.
This post is my first real attempt as reaching out. I hope it's received well and that you experienced burners will fuel my fire and guide my ambitions. Not that it's important, but I have resources and a drive to see this through. My biggest obstacle is where to stop. Even the art keeps going through iterations where the scope of the project expands and contracts on a daily basis. Please help me follow my dream of giving everything I have to BM 2014!!!
Til we meet one day on the playa...