Every year we deal with this shit.
You could be stumbling along at night and get the urge to pee, so you find your bearing, get a bead on where the nearest pottie bank is, and head out. Once there, youâ€™re about ready to pop, and you open the door to find someone has put their excremental art project all over the fucking seat. Thatâ€™s just fucked up. Who are these people, and why canâ€™t I kill them!?!, you exclaim. You find a worthy commode and relieve yourself, not giving the situation another thought until the next time it happens. And this happens over, and over, and OVER until you want to scream. And the problem doesnâ€™t go away. That CRAP stays on the seat, viewed by dozens of participants like you for up to 6 hours when itâ€™s cleaned. And the poor blokes who get to clean the porta-potties are as well not delighted to see this art project, and want it to stop too.
The porta-potties remain the Achilles Heal of the Man. Nobody wants to think about shit until itâ€™s right up in their face. The potties are YOUR problem, not someone else's. Thatâ€™s what Community means. Itâ€™s about getting uppity on the few idiots who choose to ignore community etiquette, and keep fucking up the immediate experience of others. You can help. Just talk to newbies about Excremental Correctness and weâ€™ll all have a clean, safe place to shit. Word of mouth remains the BEST way to participate either individually or group. Or if you want to take it a step further, and do your performance art out by your nearby pottie-bank, then by all means DO IT. Donâ€™t just whine, bitch, moan or utter foul curses. DO SOMETHING.
We had a 50% newbie population last year, and there's no reason to expect less this year. They
need to be TOLD what's proper and what's not. It's not "common knowledge" to everyone. The message is very simple. NO HOVERING, NO BABY WIPES AND NO TRASH. There was an excessive amount of baby-wipes and double ply tp in the commodes last year. This fucks up the vendors equipment and slows down their schedule. They get pissed and you get pissed. Because you DO know shit from shinola, encourage veterans to communicate the message to newbies so that everyone takes ownership of the problem.
Letâ€™s assume that 1/3 of the population needs to be educated, 1/3 understands MOST of it (they know not to put baby-wipes or other trash, but choose to hover), and the rest abides by all tenets. That means every Citizen MUST talk to at least 2 people. I get so damn IRRITATED at those who think they know the drill, and they roll their eyes at me, like the problem is solved. Itâ€™s not solved, itâ€™s not done with, and it keeps being a gawddamn ISSUE that can take the BM Project down forever.
Iâ€™m not blowing smoke up your ass. Think about it. The single piece of infrastructure that the Org MUST provide in order to HAVE an event is the johns. FUCK ART, FUCK THE STICK! It all goes to hell if the Health Dept determines that we canâ€™t take care of our shit. If the pottie vendor canâ€™t keep up with our stupid bad behavior, and it stops being FINANCIALLY feasible to do the job, they canâ€™t renew their contract. Now donâ€™t get me wrong. JotS/USS loves us. They bust their ass for us each year. They pull miracles out of their butts. But there is a limit to what they can do. They take care of our shit, letâ€™s take care of them by making their job easier, and not fucking their day with a hose clog.
So Iâ€™ll be out there, megaphone in hand, beseeching those in earshot that this continues to be a problem, YOUR problem, OUR problem. Talk to the drivers, to newbies, to those standing at the banks. Letâ€™s make sure everyone is one the same page, and the Digestive System of the Man will continue to run smoothly.
Chief Poopervisor of the Pottie Project