Our birgin experience was SO GREAT...REALLY!

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Our birgin experience was SO GREAT...REALLY!

Postby princechazming » Thu Sep 06, 2012 3:00 pm

Oh, the gifts!!

My wife received the best gift, and it was at the burn! She realized it was a special cupcake once the aliens that had been tapping on the window reached through our trailer wall as they beckoned her to accompany them to some great dance camp as magic lasers filled the trailer with a billion points of light that would come together and form tie-dyed patterns. Neat! We both loved the hilarity that ensued.

Oh, and earlier in the week some one was nice enough to leave us an empty Gatorade bottle under our trailer along with an "RVs BLOW" sticker already attached to the window! Later, this anonymous admirer then gifted another, LARGER empty Gatorade bottle. We were feeling very special. On Friday, I found our most cherished gift from our faceless friend: a Ziploc bag--left in the exact same location as the two bottles--full of human excrement. YAY! Thanks for making us feel so welcome!!! And we will always love that dude with the industrial torch at Bootie, as what could be more special than a spontaneous medivac trip?

People were so friendly and radically inclusive!!

We must have been looking awesome, because we saw three guys following us from Bootie. We forgot about them when we reached Opulent Temple, but when we left SIX HOURS LATER a very similar group of people were nice enough to accompany us. They kept a respectful distance and saw us all the way back to our trailer at 7 and BFE. And we never once had to have an awkward conversation with them, how considerate!!
Oh and because we were staying in one of those admired turnkey camping sites, all of our neighbors were so welcoming! Everyone thought that turnkey camping was an awesome way to experience the burn and we felt really welcomed by all those around us. Those people down the road from us had a really good sense of humor--when we started approaching them to gift something, they yelled "NO BEGGARS!!" and told us to get out. Those crazy people!!

Everyone followed the rules!!

I loved how burners have their own language and rules. Like MOOP, for instance. Everyone takes care of their own trash, so you NEVER see cans in the porta-potties, shit on the playa, people dropping food, or plastic cups on the street.

It's SO CHEAP!!

What could be cheaper than camping in the desert? We could have went to a Mexican hotel with a swim-up bar, but we regularly spend $1000 on American Spirits, Makers Mark, blinky toys, furry costumes, dust masks, fishnets, el-wire, CamelBaks, goggles, condoms, pickles, bacon, cocoa butter, and top hats anyway.

It's SO GREEN!

And don't get me started on how Mother Earth must love Burning Man. Could you be any more sustainable or pollution-free? I hear that some people complain the event has an enormous carbon footprint, but we don't want to have to spoil all that remote burning fun now do we?

It's SO SOBER!!

We loved the sound camps, especially late at night and into the sunrise. And it was so nice to see that everyone left after 2am was totally clean and sober, no doubt about it. Instead there was a soothing, peace-filled lack of blank stares, clenched jaws, wide pupils, profusive sweating, and hyperkinetic dancing.

The weather was SO NICE!!

Our favorite sound camp must have been DISTRIKT, because there is no better place to dance sober than in 100-degree weather under the full sun! The dust was a special treat, because I can't find anything else that gives me a "cuticle reboot". And it makes a perfect accessory to any outfit. Or organ!

:lol:
(Not meaning to rustle anyone's whatev's, just trying to poke fun of the fact that my wife and I tried, but failed, to enjoy BM. So what? It isn't for everyone, right?)
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Re: Our birgin experience was SO GREAT...REALLY!

Postby Undecided » Thu Sep 06, 2012 5:03 pm

Thanks for at least trying. Better luck next time.
Chris (Undecided) | 2011 Dusty B'Owl | 2012 Sparklepony Express | Soundcloud
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Re: Our birgin experience was SO GREAT...REALLY!

Postby Savannah » Thu Sep 06, 2012 5:33 pm

Yep, Burning Man is not for everybody, and that's totally fine. Sorry to hear it (although now you won't wonder anymore). You're downright refreshing, in fact. Feel free to cast your story far and wide. There are some fine perspectives in there that may benefit the new & uncertain, and can only improve the ticket situation.

I am a little surprised that the weather and lapses in sobriety were in any way remarkable or unexpected. ('Cause the weather was almost as "good" as it gets.) But perhaps such things are impossible to internalize without being there. Yep. It's really like that.

Well . . . you've added some harrowing stories to your repertoire, and have survived a narrow brush with a frightening cult. Some would call that a gain.

Where will you go for vacation next year?

Wherever you go, I hope it's awesome. :lol:
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Re: Our birgin experience was SO GREAT...REALLY!

Postby Jackass » Thu Sep 06, 2012 5:38 pm

You did it wrong.
Sooner or later, it will get real strange...

11th Principle: Depussyfication - Keeping Burning Man potentially lethal. Token
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