Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

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Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby catinthefunnyhat » Wed Jun 20, 2012 8:54 pm

CrispyDave wrote:
hookahdude wrote:I just wish to announce that I will be running for this title in 2012.
Top ASSHAT.
It is my intention to start the MOOP Nazi Brigade in 2012. Bullhorns. Shame. Sirens. Identification. Persecution. If you are an offender - We Will Find You....
We will make the comments you want to make when they see that dumbass with the feathered boa - Over a PA system.

I love BRC.
I love the Playa more.



I would like to join that brigade. I would fit in....
I have a siren you can record a voice into : maybe something like MOOP-MOOP-MOOP at 95db at 6 in the morning would do the trick....

Anyways I am actually easygoing and would probably just pick up the garbage and go my way in peace...



When I am old enough to be considered "eccentric" rather than "a crazy bitch" for doing so, I am going to start picking up after people who litter, handing their garbage back to them, and sweetly saying "Pardon me... I think you dropped something." And I'm not talking about on the playa. I will do this in the big city.

Apologies if I've already posted that somewhere. I feel like I probably have...
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Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby BBadger » Wed Jun 20, 2012 10:05 pm

catinthefunnyhat wrote:When I am old enough to be considered "eccentric" rather than "a crazy bitch" for doing so, I am going to start picking up after people who litter, handing their garbage back to them, and sweetly saying "Pardon me... I think you dropped something." And I'm not talking about on the playa. I will do this in the big city.

Apologies if I've already posted that somewhere. I feel like I probably have...


Good... but sometimes it is even better to just take the responsibility yourself. To observe someone else doing their part--even when they're not the ones causing the problem--often has a greater effect on others than nailing the culprit directly.

On a related note, some of the biggest asshats someone was telling me about with respect to herself: people who play "hippy fishing" by tying a piece of string to a piece of moop (like a discarded glowstick), and when some playa-concience person goes to pick it up they yank it back and laugh at the person. Those people are the very embodiment of asshats.
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Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby delle » Thu Jun 21, 2012 4:23 am

BBadger wrote:"hippy fishing" Those people are the very embodiment of asshats.


Totally disagree.

We spent an hour or so with a hippy fisher after being caught by their trap. Yes, there was laughing... on both sides of the line.

Followed by an offer of a drink, a nice comfy couch in the shade and some damned fine conversation.

I don't think the point is to humiliate, but rather to interact.

If THAT's an asshat move worthy of top mention, I shudder to think what else would be on her list.
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Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby Foxfur » Thu Jun 21, 2012 5:30 am

Dr Helix wrote:
Bob wrote:Um, okay.

How about you people with generators put them inside your camp space instead of in back of your trailer/RV/whatever? Your outside is usually in somebody else's insides, after all.

Jesus fuck, I hate people.



I only quoted this because of Bob's last comment. "Jesus fuck, I hate people." Pure gold Bob.

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Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby BBadger » Thu Jun 21, 2012 8:37 am

delle wrote:
BBadger wrote:"hippy fishing" Those people are the very embodiment of asshats.


Totally disagree.

We spent an hour or so with a hippy fisher after being caught by their trap. Yes, there was laughing... on both sides of the line.

Followed by an offer of a drink, a nice comfy couch in the shade and some damned fine conversation.

I don't think the point is to humiliate, but rather to interact.

If THAT's an asshat move worthy of top mention, I shudder to think what else would be on her list.


Your experience is qualified by what occurred after the fishing. If they had just laughed at you (not "with" you), you'd probably have a much different opinion.
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Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby Bob » Thu Jun 21, 2012 8:56 am

It's raver fishing. Have to use traps on hippies, they're slightly more intelligent.
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Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby H.G.Crosby » Thu Jun 21, 2012 9:12 am

Hey Bob.

I love you, man.
Once I noticed I was on fire, I decided to relax and enjoy the fall™
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Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby Jackass » Thu Jun 21, 2012 9:20 am

You can fish for whatever you want to catch depending on your bait. Want to catch a techie, use electronics. Party guy, use a fake joint or a small bag with a powdery substance. Hippy, use a hacky sack or pachulli (not soap). DPW- whiskey or cheap cigs. A goth, black make-up of any kind. Cop, doughnut. PnP camper use Krug or a feathered head piece... you get the picture. Sounds like good fun to me, happy fishing.
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Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby DustyBubbles » Thu Jun 21, 2012 9:49 am

"Huh... It's the women in our camp that bring the stripper pole. They get dudes from the street to put on a show for a drink."


And THAT'S exactly the kind of genuine expression that I'm talking about. How awesome - shaking up the "gender codes" and all. You know what I'm talking about though.
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Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby DustyBubbles » Thu Jun 21, 2012 9:54 am

My adaptation is (if I can't find a virgin willing to let me try and follow them around) to flee outward. I head to the streets with the higher letters later in the week. I had the best time meeting some people from Fallon, NV a couple years ago. And then there's the guy with too much steak at the edge of the world — I think I had about a pound one night.

Maybe I will venture out to the trash fense in my nakednedd this time. I have never actually been there but have heard some awesome stories (some probably false) of the goings ons out there.
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Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby Savannah » Thu Jun 21, 2012 1:48 pm

delle wrote:
BBadger wrote:"hippy fishing" Those people are the very embodiment of asshats.


Totally disagree.

We spent an hour or so with a hippy fisher after being caught by their trap. Yes, there was laughing... on both sides of the line.

Followed by an offer of a drink, a nice comfy couch in the shade and some damned fine conversation.

I don't think the point is to humiliate, but rather to interact.

If THAT's an asshat move worthy of top mention, I shudder to think what else would be on her list.


Agreed, if there is a prize for the MOOPer for being awesome.
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Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby Zhust » Thu Jun 21, 2012 6:45 pm

Re: Raver fishing

I got duped by that once. Now I don't pick anything up. "Fool me once ..."
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Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby DoctorIknow » Thu Jun 21, 2012 7:08 pm

We've got see-saws galore, incredible climbing sculptures, slides, roller coasters, bike course challenges, swings, etc. and childhood pranks are of the same genre, and unlike the former treats, pranks less likely to actually include possibility of injury. Just no exploding "loads" for cigars please: almost blinded my dad with one.
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Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby Lonesomebri » Thu Jun 21, 2012 8:16 pm

On the way to the Trojan Horse burn I maneuvered threw the gathering crowds, a lost flashing LED bike light laying in the playa dust catches my eye and I pick it up. The on/off switch doesn’t work, the light flashes strobe like in patterns, I hook it off my bike seat. We pass the triple decker double length bus covered with neon, fur and 10 foot quad speakers and open our cans of beer in front of the wall of mutant vehicles, rolling houses, land yachts, mass transit discos, V8 flamethrower technicals, and other mechanized BRC objet d'arts. The crowd gathered in, space became tight. All around were the sounds and sights of Black Rock City. Lasers and EL wire lights flashed and illuminated the playa, immense competing sound systems from every direction. Sporadic fireworks lit the sky. Another vibrant electric night on the playa. Anticipation and excitement radiated as bright as the varied light displays circling the horse.

Someone taps my shoulder and I turn around. A short older huddled man admonishes me, “I’m handicapped and have to sit.” He indicates the lawn seats set up next to the bus a hundred feet behind us. “You’re standing in my way. The rest of us want to see the event also.” And he wades thru the crowd back to his chair, leaving me with the guilt complex. How was I to know? I shamefully glance around at the enormous crowd I’m dwarfed in. The throng is now so tight that I only have room to kneel, next to some standing people. But I am the one who is in the way…

Kneeling now, my shoulder is tapped again. The young lady behind us informs me that the flashing LED light hooked on my bike is bothering them, don’t I know how to turn it off?

Sometimes ya think after a couple crazy nights out on the playa, there ain’t nothin’ your gonna experience that will hit you fresh, but then it does. I look around me, at the crazy landscape surrounding us. How many thousands…? How much propane was going up? How many generators running? Where are those monster buses stored anyway? Senses were multi-directionally stimulated. So many borders being pushed. An accumulation of sight and sounds and people….

And here I was THAT guy?! I had to ask them, “In this whole wild scene, the most distracting thing out on this entire playa is me? Really?” I looked around at the spectacular displays occurring around us. Unbelievable. I totally rule this scene! Popped open another beer and waited for the flaming arrows to fly.

So I just wanted to apologize to all those Burners out on the playa that night, those whose enjoyment of the Trojan Horse burn, and, therefore, the distilled accumulation of their entire Burning Man experience, I personally ruined. I was that Asshat.
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Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby gyre » Thu Jun 21, 2012 9:23 pm

Everyone that shows up an hour later than I do and wants me to lie in the dust for their convenience can go fuck themselves.
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Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby Super Evil Brian » Thu Jun 21, 2012 11:00 pm

gyre wrote:Everyone that shows up an hour later than I do and wants me to lie in the dust for their convenience can go fuck themselves.


Besides, it's a giant fucking wooden horse that spews fire high enough to burn the moon. If someone can't move a little to the right or see it from farther away, it's their problem.

If I remember for some of the burns this year, I want to watch from a high vantage point elsewhere. Being in the mob gets on my nerves, but I'm not going to try to make the rest of BRC bend to my will.
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Jesus fuckhole, what the fuck was that?
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Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby Sham » Fri Jun 22, 2012 1:40 am

There are people who show up early for a burning so they can get a prime, front row spot, then spend the next hour yelling at anyone that blocks their view. My experience is that these early birds cause most of the conflicts and problems at the event, and THEY are the asshats, not the people standing in front of them. These asshats need to be trained and not catered to. :roll:
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Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby Super Evil Brian » Fri Jun 22, 2012 1:46 am

I may just turn around and pee on them then turn back toward the burn like nothing happened.
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Jesus fuckhole, what the fuck was that?
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Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby Sham » Fri Jun 22, 2012 2:07 am

Peeing on them is fine, just try not to get any back splash on the playa---that could be a problem! :shock:
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Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby BBadger » Fri Jun 22, 2012 2:28 am

Shambala wrote:There are people who show up early for a burning so they can get a prime, front row spot, then spend the next hour yelling at anyone that blocks their view. My experience is that these early birds cause most of the conflicts and problems at the event, and THEY are the asshats, not the people standing in front of them. These asshats need to be trained and not catered to. :roll:


Yes indeed. They're the burn equivalent of those asshats who reserve entire rows in movie theaters for the friends/family members who will arrive late after the previews are over. The burn asshats also tend to occupy far more space than they are due with shit like chairs, maybe even a table, parked bikes, etc. The less we tolerate these assholes, the better.
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Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby Zhust » Fri Jun 22, 2012 4:57 am

Shambala wrote:Peeing on them is fine, just try not to get any back splash on the playa---that could be a problem! :shock:


I asked a BLM guy in 2007 and he said peeing on the Playa is fine as long as you spread it around and don't make a puddle.
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Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby Sham » Fri Jun 22, 2012 7:58 am

I'm no pee expert, but I think they are trying to avoid 50,000 people making puddles in the playa mud. I imagine there will be the occassional emergency, but if at all possible, don't pee on the playa. As far as pooping on the playa, anyone doing that would make it straight to the top of the asshat list.
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Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby Rice » Fri Jun 22, 2012 9:54 am

Shambala wrote:I'm no pee expert, but I think they are trying to avoid 50,000 people making puddles in the playa mud. I imagine there will be the occassional emergency, but if at all possible, don't pee on the playa. As far as pooping on the playa, anyone doing that would make it straight to the top of the asshat list.

I do believe that would also warrant a ticket from the BLM. Its nasty and completely avoidable...
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Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby Dr. Pyro » Fri Jun 22, 2012 11:02 am

That's easy for you to say. Try being one of us who got "duped" into the fake porto-potties on the open playa a mile or so away from the next nearest one. At that point you thought you had made it fine, but some joker puts up a facade of JOTS. What are you going to do, piss your pants? No, you're going to drop trou and piss on the playa. And pee doesn't really do any harm to the playa. Hell, Saturday night afte the burn look at the playa and it has more spots on it than a dalmation. The next morning--hell, the next hour--they're gone. Now poop is another thing and I agree: no shitting on the playa ever.
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Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby shykat » Fri Jun 22, 2012 11:07 am


I asked a BLM guy in 2007 and he said peeing on the Playa is fine as long as you spread it around and don't make a puddle.



easy for a guy, funny looking when a girl tries......
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Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby Foxfur » Fri Jun 22, 2012 5:27 pm

shykat wrote:

I asked a BLM guy in 2007 and he said peeing on the Playa is fine as long as you spread it around and don't make a puddle.



easy for a guy, funny looking when a girl tries......

Saw it last year and it was. What wasn't so funny was that she was three sheets to the wind and ended up sitting in it.
I laughed anyhow 'cause I'm a fucker like that.
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Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby AntiM » Tue Jun 26, 2012 4:05 pm

So we're in the burn night crowd, sort of between the art cars and the pedestrians on our pedal bike. A group comes by and forms a circle around a girl who squats and pees. As they walk off, I address her in a loud voice (my teacher voice, which carries beautifully), "At least kick some DUST over your pee! Do you think anyone wants to step in your piss? You think no one noticed you were peeing in a CROWD?!" She was horribly embarrassed, and did kick some dust over her puddle.

Pee on the playa if you must, but not in a crowd, please. And not between parked cars in your camp. Or right outside your tent. Or right on my shade structure, or in my evap pond. Or on the art. Please. Thank you.
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Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby pink » Wed Jun 27, 2012 2:02 pm

tamarakay wrote:
Harinama wrote:Those who run generators, and don't give a crap about their neighbors are complete aholes.

It's the desert, if you need ac go to the Gerlach Hilton..

I refuse to let a camp near by mine, invade our sound space with a 24/7 generator again. It will be sabotaged, trust me.


Then I would suggest that you are the bigger asshat. Destroying someone else's property is unacceptable. Laws of the state still apply and this is one of those situations where you bet your ass I would find a cop. Earplugs are cheaper than bail.
Discussions with neighbors about sound issues, assistance with figuring out a baffling system, all kinds of options.

We run a small generator at night as my husband has sleep apnea and needs to use his cpap machine to keep breathing. How does manslaughter sound to you asshat?


My sister and her husband both have sleep apnea and use a marine battery to run them at night while camping. Stores enough power for a long weekend at least. They're looking into a small solar array to rechharge the battery during the day for longer excursions.

That said, Ben the 'art car' dude didn't piss me off as much as Trishntek since he hadn't promised me anything. But when he first showed up at 4am, he wanted a drink from our closed bar. The second time he showed up, I really wanted to take off with the car. REALLY wanted to, just to fuck with him. But didn't. I guess I'm not enough of an asshat. But as camp MOOP nazi, I do want to join the brigade!
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Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby Gunslinger » Fri Jul 06, 2012 12:05 pm

BBadger wrote:The dirty hippie in the big brown coat who wandered into our camp during meal time, helped himself to a burger without a single word, sat down in the most comfy chair like he owned the place, gave some lame-ass excuse about losing his voice and not being able to give back the burger because he already was eating it when confronted about his actions, and then gave us the finger when we saw him off for being such a douche.


Literally choking. Heimlich, someone.. anyone? :lol:
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Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby Harinama » Fri Jul 06, 2012 2:31 pm

Yes i did go a bit overboard on the generator rant, but some people are really selfish sociopaths(like ringing your camp with RV's, and placing the generators on the outside without baffels!)

Generators are ok, if they are run for short periods and are properly baffled, but most energy needs can be served with a solar array/battery system.

As a Ranger this year, i'll be able to provide them selfish generator addicts with some friendly "neighborly" advice.

Good idea Pink to use a marine battery for CPAP Machine!
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