Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Share your pictures and video. Tell us about the sights, sounds, and scents, as well as the rumors and truths found at Burning Man.

Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby MyDearFriend » Tue Sep 13, 2011 4:25 am

d6 wrote:fxfr- "faggot pants" are welcome in our camp anytime, so long as you are a personal responsibilitarian, and this is coming from someone who once got punched in the face for wearing a purple shirt while crossing the street.

no real 2011 a**hat front runners, as most neighbors were awesome, and the tiny instances were just that.


Ha, this is awesome & I want to steal it

8)
Practice Love. Exercise Sex.

FREE THE SHERPAS
User avatar
MyDearFriend
 
Posts: 3434
Joined: Sat Nov 06, 2010 5:22 am
Location: Washington, DC
Burning Since: 2011
Camp Name: Barbie Death Camp DREAD PIRATE BARBIE

Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby illy dilly » Tue Sep 13, 2011 10:27 am

On Thursday or Friday, we were walking from just past the end of the Pier, towards 9 O'clock cutting across open Playa (I believe we were looking for where they moved the Trojan Horse to). We had finished watching some fireworks, then set off on our journey to find where the Trojan Horse would burn. As we were walking we went to walk around a group of poorly lit guys, the girls had no problem going to the right to get around them, so I followed suit. One of the guys steps in front of me, so I laugh and try to go to his left, he continues to step in front of me, so I go right, again he steps in front of me, so I give him a little juke move figuring he's just some ass hat, so the guy takes a step and shoves me as hard as he can, and yells in a drunken mumble
"Whats your fucking problem this is a safety perimeter!?!?!"
So I yell back "For what?"
His drunken response "Fuck off"

OK, so it took us a good 5 minutes to figure out what the safety perimeter was for. The fireworks had finished a beer and a cigarette (so 7 minutes?) before we got there It wasn't the Trojan horse, because we still had to walk a good 8-10 more minutes towards 9 before we even got to the out side of the art cars and bikes.
There was no crowd around these guys, it was just 4 dudes standing around in the dark. There was a group another group moving around with flash lights a good 20 yards behind these guys, related? maybe.

We figure that the fireworks had gone off and finished and they were looking for live rounds. OK, thats fine, but why not just tell me that it is a safety perimeter before shoving me? How the hell am I supposed to know that four dudes just standing around chatting are a safety perimeter? What ever crowd may have been there had already left.
I have no issues with going around.
I can understand if these guys get tired of dealing with people trying to encroach on the safety perimeter, but I bet it would be easier for them if they didn't just go around pushing people.
Sorry, rant over.
Why don't ya stick your head in that hole and find out? ~piehole
Plan for the worst, expect the best. Make the most out of it under any conditions. If you cannot do that you will never enjoy yourself. ~CrispyDave
User avatar
illy dilly
 
Posts: 4800
Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2010 12:02 pm
Location: Denver, CO
Burning Since: 2009
Camp Name: Gnome Dome

Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby Elderberry » Tue Sep 13, 2011 10:33 am

Some of these stories just help to remind me why I don't own a gun.
JK
Image
http://www.mudskippercafe.com
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle.
Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
User avatar
Elderberry
Moderator
 
Posts: 12500
Joined: Tue Jul 17, 2007 10:00 pm
Location: Los Angeles
Burning Since: 2007
Camp Name: Mudskipper Cafe

Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby junglesmacks » Tue Sep 13, 2011 10:36 am

I say next year we arm you with a bubble gun and put you on playa asshat patrol..


jkisha wrote:Some of these stories just help to remind me why I don't own a gun.



I'm seriously about falling out of my chair with the visuals of JK running around people machine gunning people with bubbles..

..and said with love, of course.
Savannah wrote:It sounds freaky & wrong, so you need to do it.
User avatar
junglesmacks
 
Posts: 5812
Joined: Wed May 26, 2010 9:54 pm
Location: Your mom's tent
Burning Since: I'm not sure

Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby Elderberry » Tue Sep 13, 2011 10:38 am

:D
JK
Image
http://www.mudskippercafe.com
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle.
Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
User avatar
Elderberry
Moderator
 
Posts: 12500
Joined: Tue Jul 17, 2007 10:00 pm
Location: Los Angeles
Burning Since: 2007
Camp Name: Mudskipper Cafe

Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby theCryptofishist » Tue Sep 13, 2011 11:05 am

iclimb wrote:Every self important shithead in a golfcart driving as fast as they want. That includes every BM dept, FUCK YOU!

I don't think it includes ESD. I'm fairly sure that they gave up on golf carts, years ago, as being unreliable. Of course, you still may not approve of the speed that they take; I'm sure some of the medical emergencies on the other end might feel differently.
The Lady with a Lamprey

"The powerful are exploiting people, art and ideas, and this leads to us plebes debating how to best ration ice.
Man, no wonder they always win....." Lonesomebri


Get a Taint, you pathetic cur!
User avatar
theCryptofishist
 
Posts: 39861
Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2004 10:28 am
Location: In Exile
Burning Since: 2017

Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby jella » Tue Sep 13, 2011 11:12 am

EspressoDude wrote:
iclimb wrote:Every self important shithead in a golfcart driving as fast as they want. That includes every BM dept, FUCK YOU!


I know one of these golfcart drivers. Senior member of Fire Art Safety Team.

While loading the Trojan Horse with pyrotechnics, a MV that looked like a green inverted checkmark from the side drove through the safety perimeter. When 3 members of the pyro safety perimeter crew attempted to stop his entrance into the perimeter, he kept moving as if intending to run over the safety perimeter crew. Only by stepping aside did these people avoid getting run over. He then drove within 20 feet of the horse, ignoring all safety crew as they backed away from him while telling him to leave.

Senior member of Fire Art Safety Team got his 'mule'(not a golf cart) and chased the driver partway across the playa to get his ID / vehicle number. (reported to DMV / LLC /LEO).... unlikely to be able to bring that or any other MV to the event.

Some of these BM folks are driving fast for YOUR safety, not just going to have a cuppa joe. would you like first responders to your safety/first aid/medical problems to arrive at 2 mph while you are bleeding out?

+1
Burning Man isn't about the stuff you see when you get there ....it's about the people that brought that stuff there
User avatar
jella
 
Posts: 1809
Joined: Thu Nov 12, 2009 10:01 pm
Location: Escondido, California
Burning Since: 2009
Camp Name: ASSORTED :)

Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby Savannah » Tue Sep 13, 2011 11:28 am

Presto wrote:
P.Ram wrote:The jackass who stenciled "BORING" (with backwards "R") all over camps, art and signage.


The two guys who did this got caught by LEO at sunrise.
The next day they did a loop apologizing to all the camps they tagged. They seemed genuinely sorry about their spectacular ass-hattery (they still deserve the nomination)


This does my shriveled little heart good, P. Ram--thank you. Since the offenders sound more vastly stupid than evil, I'm glad they had to look into the faces of the people they hurt.
User avatar
Savannah
Moderator
 
Posts: 11173
Joined: Mon Sep 01, 2008 8:33 pm
Burning Since: I'm not sure

Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby illy dilly » Tue Sep 13, 2011 11:54 am

junglesmacks wrote:I say next year we arm you with a bubble gun and put you on playa asshat patrol..


jkisha wrote:Some of these stories just help to remind me why I don't own a gun.



I'm seriously about falling out of my chair with the visuals of JK running around people machine gunning people with bubbles..

..and said with love, of course.

But we'll add some sort of Day-Glow orange to the bubbles, so that when they pop on people, the rest of BRC can easily identify "You are an Ass Hat" from a distance.
Why don't ya stick your head in that hole and find out? ~piehole
Plan for the worst, expect the best. Make the most out of it under any conditions. If you cannot do that you will never enjoy yourself. ~CrispyDave
User avatar
illy dilly
 
Posts: 4800
Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2010 12:02 pm
Location: Denver, CO
Burning Since: 2009
Camp Name: Gnome Dome

Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby deutlich » Tue Sep 13, 2011 12:01 pm

Man...I'd hate to run into someone doing something extraordinarily stupid. I have a bad habit of letting my mouth run when I see sh*t like that (which could get me in trouble). I guess in a crowd that large, though, it's bound to happen...
User avatar
deutlich
 
Posts: 217
Joined: Sun Sep 11, 2011 1:59 pm
Location: SF
Burning Since: 2011

Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby Lassen Forge » Tue Sep 13, 2011 4:15 pm

People that have exactly 3 posts to their name, and each one is some kind of whiny bitch snivel instead of something awesome. Wah wah wah... next time, stay the fuck home.

:mrgreen:
User avatar
Lassen Forge
 
Posts: 5322
Joined: Tue Feb 22, 2005 10:35 pm
Location: Where it's always... Wednesday. Don't lose your head over it.

Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby Foxfur » Tue Sep 13, 2011 6:04 pm

Bay Bridge Sue wrote:People that have exactly 3 posts to their name, and each one is some kind of whiny bitch snivel instead of something awesome. Wah wah wah... next time, stay the fuck home.

:mrgreen:

+100
He's a mystery wrapped in a riddle, inside an enigma, painted in hot pants. - Savannah
Propane ToysImage
How to do it wrong:
Image
User avatar
Foxfur
 
Posts: 2354
Joined: Sat May 14, 2011 6:43 am
Location: Banks, Oregon
Burning Since: 2011
Camp Name: M*A*S*H 4207th - 404 Village Not Found

Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby Elderberry » Tue Sep 13, 2011 6:32 pm

Now we got an idea going!

illy dilly wrote:
junglesmacks wrote:I say next year we arm you with a bubble gun and put you on playa asshat patrol..


jkisha wrote:Some of these stories just help to remind me why I don't own a gun.



I'm seriously about falling out of my chair with the visuals of JK running around people machine gunning people with bubbles..

..and said with love, of course.

But we'll add some sort of Day-Glow orange to the bubbles, so that when they pop on people, the rest of BRC can easily identify "You are an Ass Hat" from a distance.
JK
Image
http://www.mudskippercafe.com
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle.
Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
User avatar
Elderberry
Moderator
 
Posts: 12500
Joined: Tue Jul 17, 2007 10:00 pm
Location: Los Angeles
Burning Since: 2007
Camp Name: Mudskipper Cafe

Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby RedHeaven » Tue Sep 13, 2011 9:32 pm

[img]http://www.roflcat.com/images/cats/Asshat.jpg[/img]
User avatar
RedHeaven
 
Posts: 687
Joined: Fri Sep 09, 2005 11:00 am
Location: Nevada City California
Burning Since: 2005
Camp Name: Cirque Du Cliche

Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby C.f.M. » Wed Sep 14, 2011 5:57 am

Presto wrote:
P.Ram wrote:The jackass who stenciled "BORING" (with backwards "R") all over camps, art and signage.


The two guys who did this got caught by LEO at sunrise.
The next day they did a loop apologizing to all the camps they tagged. They seemed genuinely sorry about their spectacular ass-hattery (they still deserve the nomination)



They got in BIG trouble.

Though it was tough not to laugh and high five them in my head, for the "boring" stuff on the Man, when the Ranger was explaining what happened...
User avatar
C.f.M.
 
Posts: 3546
Joined: Wed Jul 01, 2009 1:28 pm
Burning Since: 2009

Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby A Jester » Wed Sep 14, 2011 9:15 am

RedHeaven wrote:

~The n00b who came up to me and said "Youre beautiful even though youre chubby". Thanks for ruining my afternoon, asshat....I let you get to me and cried in the mirror at myself for a good hour. When my friend told him "that wasnt cool" he said "Im new here, I thought we could say what we wanted to people"
What a fucking asshat!!



If you ever see him again, "You're kinda an ok person even though you're an asshat."
ZaphodBurner wrote:
The difference between buying a ticket from a scalper and prostituting yourself for one is, if you suck dick for a ticket and brag about it, burners will still respect you.
A Jester
 
Posts: 341
Joined: Wed May 25, 2011 1:28 pm

Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby A Jester » Wed Sep 14, 2011 9:38 am

jkisha wrote:I think after noticing that this was habitual theft, I would have laced all the bottles with laxatives and kept them looking nice and cold and inviting.

+5

Heck, I would even risk drinking the laxatives myself just to know that they were running around trying to steal someone's toilet paper.

Foxfur wrote:A drunken fratboy came running out at me in the 9:00 neighborhood shouting "Fucking faggot in fucking faggot pants!"


In my dream world this is terrible performance art that went awry, because no one would really be that much of an idiot at BM, right?


iclimb wrote:The entire costco camp can eat shit. Arrogant, full of themselves, unfriendly and pretentious. And they had the nerve to beg for volunteers. Fuck all of you, douchetard Costco campers.


We're just that much better than you, jerkwad. Trust me, we weren't asking YOU to volunteer. Also, we're the best thing you'll never be a part of.




(Did I do a good job of being Arrogant, full of myself, unfriendly and pretentious? I hope I did. Also, if you ever stop by our camp again, please let us know that you expect us to be mean, or we might accidentally be nice and screw with your perceptions.)
ZaphodBurner wrote:
The difference between buying a ticket from a scalper and prostituting yourself for one is, if you suck dick for a ticket and brag about it, burners will still respect you.
A Jester
 
Posts: 341
Joined: Wed May 25, 2011 1:28 pm

Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby BBadger » Wed Sep 14, 2011 10:09 am

RedHeaven wrote:[ img ]http://www.roflcat.com/images/cats/Asshat.jpg[ /img ]


How about those asshats who don't enable BBCodes after being told how?

I'm joking about the asshat part, but seriously, enable your BBCodes!
"The essence of tyranny is not iron law. It is capricious law." -- Christopher Hitchens

Hate reading my replies? Click here to add me to your plonk (foe) list.
User avatar
BBadger
 
Posts: 4432
Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2011 11:37 am
Location: (near) Portland, OR, USA
Burning Since: I'm not sure

Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby Foxfur » Wed Sep 14, 2011 11:46 am

A Jester wrote:Also, we're the best thing you'll never be a part of.

Bwahahaha!
+1000 my friend!
Well played :D
He's a mystery wrapped in a riddle, inside an enigma, painted in hot pants. - Savannah
Propane ToysImage
How to do it wrong:
Image
User avatar
Foxfur
 
Posts: 2354
Joined: Sat May 14, 2011 6:43 am
Location: Banks, Oregon
Burning Since: 2011
Camp Name: M*A*S*H 4207th - 404 Village Not Found

Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby nerdqueen » Thu Sep 15, 2011 6:25 pm

it was the last day on playa for most late-crew cleanup folks... no more shade structures, we were all MOOPing and loading trucks like everyone else.

the giant burn barrel on the playa at esplanade and ~3:15 got a little too popular. we were at 3:30, and could see and hear activity at the barrel all day. by late afternoon, the flaming burn barrel:
- was obviously overloaded
- had a sign in front of it reading CLOSED
- featured a door frame on top of the pile, well above the rim, jutting half overboard (ready to fall down and leave burn scars on the playa)

DPW/bmorg/ranger? type folks visited often to holler at various asshats who attempted to add to the pile, saying: "IT'S FULL. IT'S CLOSED. GO TO THE MAN." for bonus points, unloaders often backed their trucks WAY too close to the barrel itself - evidently forgetting about the flammability of vehicles themselves. the prize goes to one guy i ran up to, as he proceeded to load a new large pile onto the top of the heap.

ME: hey! this barrel is closed! take your stuff to the man!
ASSHAT: fuck off.
ME: it's full! and your truck is really close to the flames! they've been yelling at people all afternoon.
ASSHAT: you know what? i've been coming to the playa for 12 years, and i can recognize when a burn barrel is full. <proceeds to unload onto the flames>
ME: ummm, you think that door frame isn't going to topple onto the playa and leave burn scars? this thing is full. they put a CLOSED sign on it.
ASSHAT: yeah. thank you for your opinions. <increasingly hostile> you know what? i've been listening to people's opinions all day, and i'm about fucking tired of it. <continues to unload onto the flames>

awesome.
nerdqueen
 
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu Sep 15, 2011 5:30 pm

Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby Ano » Thu Sep 15, 2011 8:13 pm

Yeah, vets this year were really hostile. A little annoying.
Ano
 
Posts: 377
Joined: Mon Aug 22, 2011 10:04 pm
Burning Since: 2011
Camp Name: Everlasting Fuck-you's

Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby Mr.Coffee » Fri Sep 16, 2011 10:35 am

I admire your pluck, Iclimb, but It's too little too late.

I'm the top asshat of 2011 Burning Man.



(It's a genetic condition. )
"TO DO IS TO BE" - Nietzsche
"TO BE IS TO DO" - Kant
"DO BE DO BE DO" - Sinatra
User avatar
Mr.Coffee
 
Posts: 74
Joined: Sun Jul 03, 2011 1:48 pm
Location: Coming to a theatre near you!

Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby Dr. Pyro » Fri Sep 16, 2011 11:03 am

No argument here.
User avatar
Dr. Pyro
 
Posts: 3916
Joined: Tue Sep 02, 2003 8:11 am
Location: Newcastle, CA
Burning Since: 1999
Camp Name: Barbie Death Camp & Wine Bistro

Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby Mr.Coffee » Fri Sep 16, 2011 11:14 am

we have a second! anyone to carry the motion?
"TO DO IS TO BE" - Nietzsche
"TO BE IS TO DO" - Kant
"DO BE DO BE DO" - Sinatra
User avatar
Mr.Coffee
 
Posts: 74
Joined: Sun Jul 03, 2011 1:48 pm
Location: Coming to a theatre near you!

Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby troubledenergy » Fri Sep 16, 2011 12:41 pm

the vets who repeatedly reminded me "well, you wouldn't know, you're just a virgin." (or variations thereof)

i'm sorry but EVERYONE was a virgin at on point or another.

sheesh
troubledenergy
 
Posts: 29
Joined: Tue Aug 16, 2011 3:14 pm

Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby Lassen Forge » Fri Sep 16, 2011 1:39 pm

We had a motion but it got left in the Blue Phone Booths... :mrgreen:
User avatar
Lassen Forge
 
Posts: 5322
Joined: Tue Feb 22, 2005 10:35 pm
Location: Where it's always... Wednesday. Don't lose your head over it.

Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby Mr.Coffee » Fri Sep 16, 2011 3:10 pm

Bay Bridge Sue wrote:We had a motion but it got left in the Blue Phone Booths... :mrgreen:



Awww, man! why does that keep happening? I never should have printed those ballots on digestive paper!
"TO DO IS TO BE" - Nietzsche
"TO BE IS TO DO" - Kant
"DO BE DO BE DO" - Sinatra
User avatar
Mr.Coffee
 
Posts: 74
Joined: Sun Jul 03, 2011 1:48 pm
Location: Coming to a theatre near you!

Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby Boijoy » Fri Sep 16, 2011 4:38 pm

This thread makes me want to get a button with the word "ass" on it to wear on my hat next year. Just in case I do something stupid.
don't forget to floss
User avatar
Boijoy
 
Posts: 1445
Joined: Wed Aug 23, 2006 4:51 pm
Location: Metro Mart. 4:30 Plaza
Burning Since: 2006
Camp Name: Metro Mart

Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby FIGJAM » Fri Sep 16, 2011 4:43 pm

"Don't buy ur Burn...........Build ur Burn!"

"If I can't find an answer, I'll create one!!!"

Fuck Im Good Just Ask Me
User avatar
FIGJAM
 
Posts: 8365
Joined: Thu Mar 25, 2010 10:39 am
Location: apache junction az.

Re: Top Asshats of 2011 Burning Man

Postby Raymaker » Fri Sep 16, 2011 5:17 pm

the main thing that annoyed me were veteran burners responsible for theme camps, who when you approached them looked at you like you were shit on someones shoe, assumed you was there to rip them off, eventually gave you some attention but continued having conversations with nubile women when they found out you were there for an legitimate reason (which is just plain rude), then telling you they didn't have time to prepare what they were suppose to do in return for supporting their camp. next year I'll be very careful about who I'll have time for contributing to kickstarter to support them and it won't be the black rock french quarter
User avatar
Raymaker
 
Posts: 189
Joined: Sun Jul 31, 2011 12:13 pm
Location: London. UK

PreviousNext

Return to Experiences at Burning Man

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests