Burning man with the GF

Share your pictures and video. Tell us about the sights, sounds, and scents, as well as the rumors and truths found at Burning Man.

Postby Fire_Moose » Fri Aug 07, 2009 1:58 pm

those are collars, not leashes
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Postby C.f.M. » Fri Aug 07, 2009 2:12 pm

Fire_Moose wrote:those are collars, not leashes


Image

I like DIY:

jimfoerster.com/BurningMan/2008_0829.1/index.php
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Postby Harinama » Fri Aug 28, 2009 11:55 am

answer: make a pact to not get too "intense". Learn how to have fun separately also, so let her go off and explore, but be there if she needs you.

BRC is a personal experience with 50,000 others.
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Postby Kenny Z » Mon Sep 07, 2009 11:14 am

The only fights I have ever seen at BM were domestic disputes. I know my wife would hate BM due to the environment. I also told her that the BM experience is an individual one for me. I don't want to have to answer where I was or why I am drinking a beer at 8am.

That said, I told her I would fully support her giving BM a try (after all, who am I to say somebody can't go). Just two things: We can't camp together and we need to bring separate vehicles (just in case she wanted to leave early).

I think (at least for the first year of going together) you should have separate camps to regroup. If you guys are getting on each other's nerves, then you can meet up less on the playa. If you are getting along great, then you can spend more time together.

My $0.02.
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Postby Alamoth » Tue Sep 08, 2009 10:14 am

My GF and I went together this year for the first time (her second time burning, my first) and I think the key isn't to have separate camps at BRC but separate camps outside the city.

Unfortunately my GF and I live on opposite sides of the country. So coming to Burning Man together is kind of a special thing. So I guess we cheated the system in a way.

Good luck to the rest of you.
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Postby Sage Venkman » Wed Sep 09, 2009 1:10 am

Image

It's a Trap!
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Postby theCryptofishist » Thu Sep 10, 2009 8:24 am

Despite the differences in our on-playa needs and experiences Burningman did not break my relationship with Scott. It dd streach in in ways.
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Postby peace » Thu Sep 10, 2009 10:51 am

If you have to ask you are already lost
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Postby Generic Anonymity » Thu Sep 10, 2009 8:41 pm

For my bf and I, it would appear that Burning Man has strengthened our relationship. I really think we may have surprised each other out there.
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Postby OnceTheDustClears » Fri Sep 11, 2009 4:52 pm

If you both REALLY want to be there (not one talking the other into going)
you should do okay.

We had one couple in camp this year where the gf freaked out the very first day and demanded to leave. Next morning bf drove her back to Reno, left her at a motel, and came back without her for the rest of the week.

It surprises me that people are that surprised about what BM is.

Didn't they check out the website, read the guide, talk to friends, watch it on YouTube...whatever?

Bottom line...don't try to convince someone to go who may not be into it.
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Postby crstophr » Wed Sep 16, 2009 12:05 pm

My GF rocked at BM this year. As a virgin she:
    She did a ton of research and reading about the event.
    Took shifts with the BRC Volunteer FD, including the Man burn Saturday
    Camped on the esplanade with us in a theme camp, had early entry, and did a hell of a job helping setup and tear down the camp.
    She watched camp members for overheating/overload and pulled them into our air conditioned trailer for breaks and cool down time when needed.
    She got her BF a front row seat to the Man burn.

She kicked my ass in participation level for sure. We did have a stressful incident early in the week but in the end we came out of the experience closer than we have ever been. I'm sure it helps that she's a total tomboy and loves camping. I did change my burn a lot as I worried about her experience much of the time and tried to support her.

Kudos to you babe. You totally rock my world. I can't wait for next year.
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Postby Ugly Dougly » Wed Sep 16, 2009 12:08 pm

peace wrote:If you have to ask you are already lost


That's right. Single men were lined up at the gate on exodus, eager to pick up on all the newly single babes.

OK, not really.
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separate camps

Postby NoelCal » Thu Sep 17, 2009 2:00 pm

have heard that separate camps seem to be the norm. some couples stay in the same camp and end up arguing by the end of BM. but it all depends i guess. maybe you two should try it next year and you will be so happy to see eachother when ya run into one another. "Love" , ya bastards! lol
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Postby Ugly Dougly » Thu Sep 17, 2009 4:24 pm

Like the two-bedroom concept. A place to retreat to when things get prickly.
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Postby Minxy » Mon Sep 21, 2009 12:58 pm

I met my boyfriend at Burning Man, two years ago.

However, our Burn expectations, as it turns out are drastically different. :D

I think next year, I WILL camp at a separate camp.

His idea of an ideal Burning Man is to get drunk and stoned as often as possible and cruise around in a state of inebriation.

I like to be as sober as possible, so as to fully appreciate the creation, wonderfully chaotic and completely unexpected (yet now expected) random occurrences that are sure to happen.

The last two Burns we've attended together have been less than pleasant due to different expectations.

I think next year I'll camp alone. Screw the fancy RV. :P I would rather live my own Burn the way I want to experience it without the stupid camp and boyfriend drama. I'll meet him on a few, hot playa dates and tell him how much I love him. :)

Then I'll still get up at 5am and go wait for the sun while he's out partying till he passes out. :P
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Postby marcgorcey » Mon Sep 21, 2009 1:20 pm

A lot of the difficulty we had was due to the amount of work we have to do, especially in our theme camp. To be honest, too many men think that their mates have a 'mommy button' that they can push when they're in trouble. After a few days of tension, though, my wife and I learn to live together while living independently.
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Postby SilverFly » Mon Sep 28, 2009 11:27 am

It was both mine and my BF's 1st burn this year. We drove from nyc to reno and back. We also camped together. Due to personal issues within our relationship, I had felt that we would break up after the burn. Turns out we made it there and through the event unscathed and closer than we were previously.

Best things to know about one another:
- Are you good travel buddies? Take a day-trip somewhere and see how you fare.
- Know what each of you is good at doing. Work with each other's strengths and weaknesses.
- Know each other's boundaries. Does she have adhd that can sometimes annoy you? Do you both adapt well to change? Is she comfortable with your desire to wear a lion cloth all week? (If the answer is no, d-u-m-p her)

Make sure that you're comfortable telling each other when you're annoyed or when you need time apart. Also make sure that you won't strand one another out there.

The healthier your line of communication is, and the more honest you are with yourselves, the better you will fare.

As referenced by a bunch of these responses, discuss what each of you want out of your experience. You don't want to get back to the default world and wonder what happened to your experience while you were consoling her. It's your trip, too. If she gets cranky let her drink some water and take a nap while you go explore on your own for a few hours. This is radical SELF-reliance. Not radical relationship-reliance.
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Postby theCryptofishist » Mon Sep 28, 2009 11:29 am

I think you mean "loin cloth." Lion cloth makes it seem like musty old fur.

Sorry, I can't spell either, but I do get these odd pictures when the homonyms come out.
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Postby SilverFly » Mon Sep 28, 2009 1:06 pm

I think you mean "loin cloth." Lion cloth makes it seem like musty old fur.


Yes, yes. I meant loin cloth. However if you do enjoy musty old fur on your nethers, go for it.
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Postby LindseyRaeFace » Tue Dec 08, 2009 1:00 pm

I went with my boyfriend this year for my first, and his second, burn. I read the relationship guide on the main site (See link below) And it helped a lot... They say you grow together or grow apart and we definitely grew together! Here are a few highlights:

:idea: COMMUNICATION: Know when to talk and when to stop. If you are both clear on what your intent is for going, how you are feeling along the way (mentally, physically, spiritually) and you are both honest about what happens, its pretty easy. The hard part is being honest with yourself!

:idea: Dates vs Space: Give yourself time to explore! Time to run off and experience the famous Playa Serendipity! But make sure before you leave that you touch base, best bet to set up a date- "Ill meet you at the camp at sunset" (because im assuming those with watches wont be able to find them by day 2). Plan time together to grow together, and time apart to fulfill your individual needs. **BY FAR THE BEST ADVISE**

:idea: (as read above) Watch Out for Each Other- Water, food, sleep... these are NECESSARY! Despite what the little blue and pink pills say, you need to sleep. Do it for yourself, and do it for your partner. I did find that whe i was dehydrated or tired, i didnt want to be told what to do so we had an emergency eject button! A safe word/term that lets the other one know you are coming from a place of love, but then don't seem happy. I did this because "Calm Down" or "you're being a bitch" infuriate me! :evil: So it can be something as simple as "Pineapple" or for me (i have blood sugar issues) "When was the last time you ate sweetheart?" If you both agree to check yourself when you heard that phrase/word... all is good!

Hope it went well, and good luck to those in the future! I cant wait to go back with my guy! :wink:



http://www.burningman.com/preparation/e ... ships.html
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Postby Ugly Dougly » Tue Dec 08, 2009 3:39 pm

A safe word that might be applied to multiple environments: "Ouch!"

:)
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Postby Ugly Dougly » Fri Jan 15, 2010 11:01 am

Okay, circumstances may find me looking at this thread a little more seriously. :)
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Postby Ugly Dougly » Mon Jan 18, 2010 4:05 pm

Separate camps. Not too far away, though. Exercise your individual personalities. :roll:
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Postby theCryptofishist » Mon Jan 18, 2010 8:27 pm

Yeah, I got rid of my personality for that reason. Always having to take it for walks and clean up its poop.
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Postby Ugly Dougly » Tue Jan 19, 2010 1:03 pm

That would be "exorcise". :twisted:
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Postby Rubbing Sheep » Wed Apr 07, 2010 5:23 pm

My girl friend and I went for our first time together in 08. We drove their together from SF, camped together in a big camp of thirty or so friends who we basically met for the first time except for two who introduced us into the camp and it was great.

We travel well togethr and had several times before that. Mexico. Europe, music festivals. I had to mind my eyes not to gawk at to many hot girls, but thats a reality of any relationship. Once she pissed me off and in an act of defiance I jumped off a moving art car and showed up back at camp a couple hours later after walking around by my self for a bit. that walk basically made me realize I have more fun with her, and that I could forgive her bitchiness.

She is almost 20 years older than me and our kindered spirits have gotten us through five years of a relationship that otherwise has many obstacles. Im 26 and shes 45 and lookin fine.

We boned down on the playa, in the smooch dome with some other couples surrounding us on couches and basically enjoyed the whole thing together. Rarely did we stray and do our own thing. It was never prohibited, it just didnt really happen that much.

Ive often wondered how being single in BRC would be. Can you pull chicks? Im sure it happens, but it doesnt seem all that likely to me. Maybe if you get to know em, but not from one of the huge rave parties, no one is just gonna leave with you, or are they?

I had fun with my girl friend and were looking forward to doing it again this year.
simpsons did it
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Postby theCryptofishist » Thu Apr 08, 2010 11:34 am

Don't ever get off a moving art car again. Whatever pissy crap that encouraged your "act of defiance" you could have died or been maimed. So not worth it to prove your point.
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Postby Rubbing Sheep » Wed Apr 21, 2010 4:00 pm

^
It was moving really slow and was no taller than a small pick up truck. No risks were taken.
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Postby Ugly Dougly » Wed Apr 21, 2010 4:21 pm

Ah, you've met our Motor Vehicle Safety Officer. ;)
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Postby motskyroonmatick » Wed Apr 21, 2010 5:18 pm

Rubbing Sheep wrote:^
It was moving really slow and was no taller than a small pick up truck. No risks were taken.


It's the unapparent risks that get you every time. It is a #'s game. Statistically risk takers will get the thing they gamble against. Believe me it is no fun being injured. I'm with Crypto. Always choose good over lucky. Especially once you pass the age of 32.
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