Personally I'm shocked at all of you. What've you been thinking? You respond to a vicious attack on our beloved event by talking for pages and pages about mayonnaise, and you don't even mention aioli? Dudes, it's all about the ailoi- the difference between a condiment fit only for wonderbread and haut cuisine, friends.
"Aioli, sometimes called the "butter of Provence" because it is so integral to the cuisine, is simply a mayonnaise incorporating quantities of fresh garlic - usually two cloves per person in Provence. That is a lot, and you might wish to use less (I do - three or four cloves for this recipe), but since the whole point of aioli is garlic, by all means don't stint. The quality of the garlic is most important - it should be fresh and plump with swollen cloves. Reject any shriveled cloves or any in which the core is developing a green sprout.
Traditionally aioli is made with egg yolks and garlic pounded in a mortar. A lighter sauce can be made in the blender with a whole egg and an egg white, but the blender does odd things to the taste of garlic, so I prefer to make the lighter mayonnaise in the blender, then fold the garlic paste in separately by hand. I always use organic eggs, but if you're not sure of your egg source and worried about salmonella, don't try this recipe.
1 whole egg
1 egg white (you can freeze the yolk and use it later)
salt to taste
1 to 1 1/2 cups fruity extra-virgin olive oil as needed
juice of 1/2 lemon or more to taste
4 garlic cloves, coarsely chopped
Make the mayonnaise by whirling the egg and egg white in a blender with a little pinch of salt. Remove the center knob from the blender lid and, with the blender churning, start to pour in the olive oil, a very thin thread at first, until the mixture starts to thicken. Stop the blender and pour in a few tablespoons of lemon juice, then start the blender again and continue adding oil, a little more thickly as the mixture emulsifies and mounts. When all the oil has been added, turn the blender off and set aside.
Combine the garlic in a small bowl or a mortar with a teaspoon of salt and pound the garlic or crush it with the back of a spoon until you have a thick and homogeneous paste. Now use a spatula to scrape the mayonnaise into the garlic paste and turn gently to incorporate everything. Taste and add more salt and lemon juice if desired."
"Of what use is a philosopher who doesn't hurt anybody's feelings?" -Diogenes