A letter to all of the people who go to the gathering known as “ Burning Man".
After seeing a press article describing the annual pilgrimage to the Black rock desert, the event known as burning man, a group in Washkoshbaobeegon Wisconsin has created their own homage to “The Man”.
“Papa haybell” the founding leader of the event describes it as: “ I saw all then idiots dressed up liken pansies with there hippy dippie un-Christian ideals, got ta thinking that we’s an should be creatin our ownd gatherin”
“Sister quilterqueen” added the following” we all got together one fine February anfter a hay ride and thought what the heck, we all saw the article bout them freaks out in the desert, an we all just created the idea, course we all had a bit much near beer bu then”
The counter event has grown now to over 22 participants and has had to be moved from Annabelles back forty all the way to her sisters cousins brothers south fifty, “It was just getting too large for the cows, so we hat to move it. The south 50 is a harsh place though!”
Indeed, in February, the temperature gets as low as 10 degrees, if you don’t dress up enough you can develop frostbite. The Man is a snow and hay edifice reaching almost five feet in height which is built the previous day on the 5th, by the evening of the seventh the pilgrimage reaches its zenith, with people spanning three generations and as many denominations. Prayer is said, cookies get eaten, the “The Man” is pushed over onto the hard cold unforgiving frozen ground, this symbolizes the hard frozen ideals of the Midwest culture.
This year also had its share of incidents as well. Sussiebob got the spirit and took off her coat, she ran singing across the fields to later be picked up by the local law enforcement and brought back. Sheriff Billiemcdrawl stated” we need volunteers out hear, we cant handle every over excited relative runnin around like that”
Indeed, some locals in the area only tolerate the event due to the increase in knitted gloves and such.
Tickets will not be sold until the “other Burning Man” finds god and repents!!!
Until then, this is MR. Johndear Dan Glistered.