can I #*%& in your camp?

Share your views on the policies, philosophies, and spirit of Burning Man.

can I #*%& in your camp?

Postby shuranuff » Thu Sep 18, 2003 5:51 pm

seeking opinions on what use of your camp space by others would be copacetic with you.

wandering around at night i wasn't always sure whether lit camps were available for people to chill or lit to guide people home. was glared at by some folks who arrived while i was smokin; got the message and moved on. took advantage of a nice chill space to get it on for a while and noone threw us out; crossed my mind that perhaps that was not the use intended by our hosts but confess i didn't worry too much about it at the time. both of these were big villages off the esplanade.

i don't know if i was perceived as a positive guest and i would like to be. i would rather take my ass elsewhere than muck up someone else's burn. any suggestions for how to measure the water temperature other than, "whatever feels ok" which was my barometer for this year? should i feel responsible for knowing the "culture" of each camp and where i am all the time (i.e., not getting it on in kidville)? should i not give this another thought unless someone gets in my face about it?

i'll probably ignore all your advice anyway but i'm curious what you think.
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Postby stuart » Thu Sep 18, 2003 5:55 pm

if you are not sure, you should always ask first. Don't ever assume.
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Postby shuranuff » Thu Sep 18, 2003 5:58 pm

what if there's noone to ask? move on?
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Postby stuart » Thu Sep 18, 2003 6:21 pm

I would not, as a rule, start fuckin in some empty dome you know nothing about. Also, with the increase in busts, I would never do anything that has to do with a controlled substance in some space that is not your own without consent. You could get the owners shit tossed by the BLM as a result of this.
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Postby shuranuff » Thu Sep 18, 2003 6:49 pm

wasn't that kind of smoking, just the regular tobacco kind.

sure looked and felt like a happy sex spot. course that doesn't mean your advice isn't good. thx for your opinions stuart; i hear ya.
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Postby Chai Guy » Thu Sep 18, 2003 8:02 pm

A few years ago we had a rather large chill dome on the esplanade with couches and what not. A couple started "getting it on" on one of the couches which prompted my girlfriend to walk over and ask "What the hell is going on here????" in an incredibly loud voice. The people having sex didn't even flinch. This story has no point, just I thought I would share.

Also, I read that there were tickets given out for sex in public, what constitutes "public" at Burning Man, I mean if me and my girlfriend want to have sex at Xara's is that public?
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Postby Guest » Thu Sep 18, 2003 8:58 pm

Chai Guy wrote:Also, I read that there were tickets given out for sex in public, what constitutes "public" at Burning Man, I mean if me and my girlfriend want to have sex at Xara's is that public?


I wondered this too (well, not about you and your girlfriend) -- there was no shortage of lovin' in view but not exactly what you'd call public display. Would the LEO's write a ticket if you left your tent screen open?
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Postby Ivy » Thu Sep 18, 2003 8:58 pm

if me and my girlfriend want to have sex at Xara's is that public?


I suppose it depends if you're in one of the "secret nooks" or not.
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Postby Angry Butterfly » Thu Sep 18, 2003 9:33 pm

Our "Private" chill dome was uh, "gifted" to us by a rather well known soft drink company, so we had to turn it over so the logo didnt show and use it for our private space, it was really well designed and therefore was what you would call an "attractive nucience" even though we tried to hide it with our kitchen and all our tents we attracted some "drifters" One was a homeless guy that the residents had problems with crashing in the san francisco space! How he got out there is anybody's guess, but he was kicked out pretty promptly. It is now the stuff of legend.

As for smoking, I am highly allergic, so it is best to ALWAYS ask, I would be cool with it if it didn't make me really sick. I am a little shy about it, so I will just wander off if someone lights up, sometimes this is annoying to have to do, as I didn't CHOOSE to be allergic to smoke, and I respect peoples rights to their own bad habits since I have many. What I discovered on the Playa is that my dust mask and goggles keep me from getting sick (eye allergies too) so my dust mask improved my social life, because a good friend of mine smokes, and I can now spend more time with him.
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getting it on in other peoples spaces

Postby KurtRuckus » Thu Sep 18, 2003 11:28 pm

I followed a couple into our Pyromid because I was headed in anyway to turn the lights on. Talked to them a minute as they admired the structure then I fired up the generator. Suddenly realized that there was another couple getting it on in the corner. The first couple wanted to see it lit up so the three of use walked out and checked it out and then I went back in and turned the generator on so the lovin couple could finish in peace. Everyone of the people from our camp I told this to thought it was either funny or nice. It wasn't intrusive since no one was there at the time. I know though that the Eggchair had to stop people from getting it on so as to avoid a fine if the LEO saw it going on.
Smileytoes, I think your method of testing the waters is probably the best you can hope for if nobody is around. Taking the hint is a key part of that, if there is a problem.
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Postby shuranuff » Fri Sep 19, 2003 12:03 am

ruckus, thank you on behalf of all morally bereft and oversexed burners. it wasn't me in the pyramid but i'm sure whomever was appreciative. it wasn't clear to me from your mail whether the egg chair camp was worried that they, as well as the participants, would be hasseled by the LEO for illicit use of the chair. i hadn't thought about that possibility.

i bet a lot of couples had their eye on that chair; it was pretty sweet. little too exhibitionist for me tho.

Angry Butterfly wrote:As for smoking, I am highly allergic, so it is best to ALWAYS ask, I would be cool with it if it didn't make me really sick.


angry, rest assured that if we meet on the playa i will ask you before lighting up. and i wont' be ticked when you say no. i would have asked these folks too if they'd been there.

ps - thx for the story chai guy. you got a laugh.
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Eggchair

Postby KurtRuckus » Fri Sep 19, 2003 10:46 am

One year this couple got in the Eggchair and put on this full on sex show. Then some rangers or LEO came by and shut it down and essentially told the Eggchair folks that if they let it happen again they could be fined. So they were being held for the actions of those using their ultimate sitting device.
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Postby Jordan 10-E » Fri Sep 19, 2003 12:02 pm

karmic marshmellow wrote:Would the LEO's write a ticket if you left your tent screen open?[/color]


HEHE... I got it on in my tent with the screen open to the Esplanade. Didn't really plan it that way just happened. Kinda got a chuckle out of that when I finally looked out and saw all kinds of people walking by. We did zip it up a little after that.

I don't think I'd mind too much if people got it on in our camp (the public part), but I can understand the part about getting in trouble too.

BTW, I am must be ignorant, but what does LEO stand for?
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Postby Zane5100 » Fri Sep 19, 2003 12:09 pm

Law Enforcement Officer
middle-aged, wannabe-hipster, dilettante
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Postby chloe_dancer » Fri Sep 19, 2003 12:38 pm

i noticed that people were kinda "clicky" about who came into who's tent.....we ended up walking around a lot and running into people we sorta knew and hanging w/ them in their places (like friendly jen!!:) and zane's cool pad!) i think, in my opinion, people who had lots of couches and chairs out and had activities at their place, they were cool w/ strangers hanging...however i think due to the ever growing theft factor people are sketched out when they come home to their dome/tent/ what have you and see people they don't know hanging out and no one else in their camp around. so that's all i have to say about that, take it for what its worth
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Postby clandyone » Fri Sep 19, 2003 12:53 pm

Is my soul going to shrivel up and die out of Not Getting Itness because I think that wandering into someone else's dome and commencing to bump uglies without a word to anyone is kinda, well, rude?

I understand that public sex is a big part of why some people go to Burning Man, and maybe my outlook is skewed because that really isn't my thing. I dunno.

What's wrong with just asking? And if there's nobody to ask, why not just go fuck somewhere else?

Not only the act itself but the intent seems exhibitionist to me. Like, "We cannot contain our passion for even the instant that it would take to clear this with you, our hosts, because we are just that uninhibited and free and and and." I find this inconsiderate, myself.
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Postby III » Fri Sep 19, 2003 1:19 pm

i'm with clandyone on this.

doing anything in someone else's camp, without making sure that it's okay with the camp owners, is rude. if you really think there needs to be a venue for it (whatever "is" is), you can make a camp devoted to that particular activity yourself...
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But what about-

Postby Rob the Wop » Fri Sep 19, 2003 1:26 pm

Fuck in Someone Else's Camp Camp?
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Postby clandyone » Fri Sep 19, 2003 1:40 pm

In 2001, we brought a small yellow plastic chair as supplementary dome seating. It really is a very small chair -- I think it was originally kiddie furniture.

Anyway, somehow the chair migrated out of our dome and came to rest midway between the dome and the street.

On about Thursday, some of our peeps came back from a foray into the wide world and discovered a raunchy hippie couple going at it in the chair. It was mid-afternoon at that point -- broad daylight -- and it wasn't just screwing, it was raunchy hippie quasi-Tantric screwing. Kinda weird, considering how very un-screwing-compatible the chair was. I am sure there were many thousands of other places in the immediate vicinity that would have been more comfortable and more hospitable -- my campors crowded around and went "EWWWWWWW!" and "What the HELL do you think you're doing?!" and "We'll never be able to use that chair again! Yecch! Hey, anybody know where the Lysol is?" and so on.

The couple continued, completely oblivious, and eventually wandered off. The chair was duly sanitized, and it has come to the playa every year since, but nobody will sit on it. It holds a place of dubious honor.
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Postby shuranuff » Fri Sep 19, 2003 1:49 pm

clandyone wrote:In 2001, we brought a small yellow plastic chair as supplementary dome seating. It really is a very small chair -- I think it was originally kiddie furniture.

Anyway, somehow the chair migrated out of our dome and came to rest midway between the dome and the street.

On about Thursday, some of our peeps came back from a foray into the wide world and discovered a raunchy hippie couple going at it in the chair. It was mid-afternoon at that point -- broad daylight -- and it wasn't just screwing, it was raunchy hippie quasi-Tantric screwing. Kinda weird, considering how very un-screwing-compatible the chair was. I am sure there were many thousands of other places in the immediate vicinity that would have been more comfortable and more hospitable -- my campors crowded around and went "EWWWWWWW!" and "What the HELL do you think you're doing?!" and "We'll never be able to use that chair again! Yecch! Hey, anybody know where the Lysol is?" and so on.

The couple continued, completely oblivious, and eventually wandered off. The chair was duly sanitized, and it has come to the playa every year since, but nobody will sit on it. It holds a place of dubious honor.


hah! my 15,000th favourite thing about burning man is the stories. i'm going to look for this chair next year (don't worry clandy i don't have my eye on it). btw, no need to deprecate your opinion. i invited honest opinion and i'm glad i'm getting it. itness factor not being tallied.
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Postby clandyone » Fri Sep 19, 2003 1:55 pm

smileytoes wrote: btw, no need to deprecate your opinion. i invited honest opinion and i'm glad i'm getting it. itness factor not being tallied.

I wasn't, really. Just being self-referential. I related a tale about being condemned to spiritual death for Not Getting It in another thread. (The threatenor was very young and obviously pretty zizzed out. Creepy at the time, funny now.)
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Postby Juju » Fri Sep 19, 2003 4:55 pm

A few people got it on in our dome this year, but they were all either campmates or people we knew. I tried to make our chillspace as hospitable as possible, and it made me happy knowing that people felt comfortable enough to fuck there, even if I myself didn't take advantage of it.

If they'd gone at it in my kitchen chillspace tho, there'd have been a problem.

One of my campmates and I are entertaining the idea of a "bed & breakfast" sort of camp for next year with a few inflatable mattresses, BYOsheet-style, and some romantic ambience. Not so much a brothel as mebbe a no-tell-motel.

I think that'd be keen.
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Postby Badger » Fri Sep 19, 2003 5:56 pm

Heard a story from one of my Irish buds about a couple who came into the large chill tent over around 2:30. Lots of couches and such and this couple starts boinking on the couch like no one's biz. One of the lads just over from the island is getting kinda pissed and approaches my bud Brian to complain. "If it's such a bother maybe you should just go over there and toss a bucket of water on 'em."

He did.

The couple got pretty upset and stud boy was especially pissed off that his had happened.

Brian kinda got in between 'em and explained that it might not have happened if they'd stop to consider that what someone sees as a couch for fuckin on someone else sees as his camp bed for the next week.

The couple both 'got' it and ended up apologizing for their indescritions.
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Postby shuranuff » Fri Sep 19, 2003 6:39 pm

Juju wrote:One of my campmates and I are entertaining the idea of a "bed & breakfast" sort of camp for next year with a few inflatable mattresses, BYOsheet-style, and some romantic ambience. Not so much a brothel as mebbe a no-tell-motel.

I think that'd be keen.


great idea! i was thinking more along the hourly motel vein but got stuck on what to do about linens. don't think i can count on hourly users to carry sheets around with them. still musing.

what i particularly like about your idea is the bed and breakfast aspect. it's welcoming and inclusive. not only are we going to provide a cool space for you to chill but we want to meet you too.

ummm. what does the inside of your dome look like?
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Postby Angry Butterfly » Fri Sep 19, 2003 6:49 pm

just use rubber air matresses and provide windex!
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Postby Kinetic » Fri Sep 19, 2003 10:20 pm

If I'm going to have that kind of fun, I'm plan to make my own chill space so I'm almost guaranteed no interruptions and the kind of atmosphere I want. Going at it in someone's space that you don't know is kinda rude imho.

The thread does touch on a gripe of mine...I know that if a camp is on the Esplanade, several of them want you to come in, the camps are built around interacting with people. But there are others that look cool and that I wanted to check out but was afraid to go into...no it's not a shy thing it's a respect thing. If it's not mine I stay out.

Not to single out anyone but Chillonia comes to mind. I saw the camp two years in a row and from the name to the lights I just love the camp...but I never went beyond the Esplanade to take a closer look. Maybe I didn't get it on a lot of places. Zane's place was no problem, and Pinky's was no question. But some camps just leave me guessing. Maybe I should order that box of clue that people keep referring to because there are some camps that I just don't get. Prominent placement, cool stuff, but again...I'm not alone in not being sure if we should go inside and check 'em out or not!
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Definitely ask...

Postby Papa Bear » Sat Sep 20, 2003 8:57 am

IMHO, it's definitely wiser (and more considerate) to ask -- and if you can't find someone to ask, assume the answer is "no". It's the difference between gifting and taking.

Also, don't assume that what's OK in one part of a camp is OK in another. We had a couple of our small domes commandeered at different times by amorous couples. One was in the public massage area of our camp, the other a private chill/meditation space in the "residential" section.

By and large, nobody minded the folks who "borrowed" the public dome at night. If anything, the sounds of pleasure provided entertainment for people hanging out in the adjoining healing tents.

In contrast, the couple that decided to get it on in our private space were definitely seen as unwanted interlopers. I don't think anyone actually kicked them out (I wasn't around at the time), but I did hear complaining about it later.

In the second case, it wasn't the sex that bothered people, it was the lack of respect shown by trespassing in a private area. The few strangers who decided to wander uninvited through our dorms (large shade structures under which we pitched our individual tents) aroused similar feelings.
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Re: Definitely ask...

Postby shuranuff » Sat Sep 20, 2003 10:05 am

Papa Bear wrote:Also, don't assume that what's OK in one part of a camp is OK in another.


good point. i actually found the line between public and private within camps easier to see than knowing whether i was welcome in the first place.

i confess i'm a bit depressed by kinetic's post that he missed out on checking out camps out of respect for others' privacy/boundaries. i love that burning man shifts cultural rules of behaviour. that i enter the gates feeling wholeheartedly included until i fuck up vs. having to earn/gain permission first. the advice to always ask before doing anything in anyone's camp gives me the heebee jeebees even while i can see the sense of it.

i guess some *rules* are needed for 30,000 people to get along but god i hate that word!
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Postby Lydia Love » Sat Sep 20, 2003 10:27 am

some *rules* are needed


Don't think of it as rules. Think of it as social lubricant so we all get along a little smoother.
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Postby Juju » Sun Sep 21, 2003 10:18 pm

smileytoes wrote:
great idea! i was thinking more along the hourly motel vein but got stuck on what to do about linens. don't think i can count on hourly users to carry sheets around with them. still musing.

what i particularly like about your idea is the bed and breakfast aspect. it's welcoming and inclusive. not only are we going to provide a cool space for you to chill but we want to meet you too.

ummm. what does the inside of your dome look like?


I'm thinking random fabrics that we can easily launder in our camp... it can probably be done rather economically, methinks. :)

I nurture people with food. We had at least one or two non-campmates present for every dinner in our camp, not to mention our dinner party and storytime gazpacho. Servin' up breakfast to happy sated people would rock. :)

and... our dome was a blue parachute with some random batik-style and Indian print tapestries hanging inside. Next year's will be something fashioned out of bamboo... I'd like to keep my structure as organic (and burnable) as possible.
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