Ask Eric

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Re: Ask Eric

Postby Eric » Sun Jul 06, 2014 2:32 pm

goathead wrote:or if its based on a per letter cost it's not to bad if you name is, Adolph Blaine Charles David Earl Frederick Gerald Hubert Irvin John Kenneth Lloyd Martin Nero Oliver Paul Quincy Randolph Sherman Thomas Uncas Victor William Xerxes Yancy Zeus Wolfe­schlegelstein­hausenberger­dorffvoraltern­waren­gewissenhaft­schaferswessen­schafewaren­wohlgepflege­und­sorgfaltigkeit­beschutzen­von­angreifen­durch­ihrraubgierigfeinde­welyche­voraltern­zwolftausend­jahres­vorandieerscheinen­wander­ersteer­dem­enschderrassumschiff­gebrauchlicht­als­sein­ursprung­von­kraftgestart­sein­lange­fahrt­hinzwischen­sternartigraum­auf­der­suchenach­diestern­welche­gehabt­bewohnbar­planeten­kreise­drehen­sich­und­wohin­der­neurasse­von­verstandigmen­schlichkeit­konnte­fortplanzen­und­sicher­freuen­anlebens­langlich­freude­und­ruhe­mit­nicht­ein­furcht­vor­angreifen­von­anderer­intelligent­geschopfs­von­hinzwischensternartigraum, Senior


This is not a question, hippie.

Sic Pup wrote:I don't know Simon that well but that may require a fluffer.


He's Jewish, probably not.

Simon of the Playa wrote:if you've been tattooing my dick for more than four hours please contact a doctor.


Again, not a question. Unless your dick has a weird hook to it.

TT120 wrote:Is it wrong to like the booty?


You're asking the gay man this? Next Mr. Genius here is going to ask if I like breathing.

lucky420 wrote:What's a fluffer?


The person who keeps the dicks hard for a porn movie. They still use them, even in the age of viagra.

theCryptofishist wrote:While we're at it, why is there dancing around with a bottle on your head at a Jewish weddings?


It's to keep the other fuckers from drinking your wine while you're on the dance floor.
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Re: Ask Eric

Postby goathead » Mon Jul 07, 2014 1:09 am

Dear Eric

Wouldn't a hippie be more interested in the price and chemical make up of Simon's left over bong water, then the per letter price of a tattoo on his dick?

Why would he need to see a doctor if it took over 4 hours?
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Re: Ask Eric

Postby Jovankat » Mon Jul 07, 2014 2:32 am

Dear Eric what's all this about tattoo costs per letter, what have I missed?
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Re: Ask Eric

Postby Eric » Mon Jul 07, 2014 2:51 am

goathead wrote:Dear Eric

Wouldn't a hippie be more interested in the price and chemical make up of Simon's left over bong water, then the per letter price of a tattoo on his dick?


depends on the hippie

Why would he need to see a doctor if it took over 4 hours?


Have you ever gotten a tattoo on your dick? If it's still in a state to be tattoo'd after 4 hours of a needle going into it, a doctor is definitely required.

Jovankat wrote:Dear Eric what's all this about tattoo costs per letter, what have I missed?


A wonderful part of life. It almost makes me cry to think it's been missed, but, meh, crying is over-rated.
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Re: Ask Eric

Postby Jovankat » Mon Jul 07, 2014 2:53 am

Dear Eric

Isn't it like 3am where you are? Why are you still up?
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Re: Ask Eric

Postby mgb327 » Mon Jul 07, 2014 3:51 am

Eric never sleeps. 3 AM is "mid-day".
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Re: Ask Eric

Postby goathead » Mon Jul 07, 2014 7:16 am

Dear Eric

Should tattooed dick be sold by the mile, or by the letters?

Is Simon going to post a pic of it?

Should it be gift wrapped at that price?
Ffwcio eich diwrnod
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Tpaxhnte ball aehb
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Re: Ask Eric

Postby Eric » Mon Jul 07, 2014 2:11 pm

Jovankat wrote:Dear Eric

Isn't it like 3am where you are? Why are you still up?


Only corporate slaves are in bed at 3am. The free are still sleeping at noon.

mgb327 wrote:Eric never sleeps. 3 AM is "mid-day".


"Ask Eric", not "Ask mgb327". Christ on a biscuit, everyone thinks they're witty around here.

goathead wrote:Dear Eric

Should tattooed dick be sold by the mile, or by the letters?

Is Simon going to post a pic of it?

Should it be gift wrapped at that price?


You have a fascination with Simon's dick - is there something you'd like to tell us?
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Re: Ask Eric

Postby graidawg » Mon Jul 07, 2014 2:22 pm

Dear Eric, how do you get on with those people you just have to get with but just have to get on with?
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Re: Ask Eric

Postby Eric » Mon Jul 07, 2014 2:42 pm

graidawg wrote:Dear Eric, how do you get on with those people you just have to get with but just have to get on with?


Fuck - that's not even an English english sentence, let alone something I can translate.
how do you get on with those people

you just have to get with

but just have to get on with?


I'm just going to say the question is "how do you get along with twats that you have to get along with, even though you hate them", and answer that.

Pretend you're from the upper-class and suffering their presence because you have to, and smile at them with that "please die" curl in the corner of your mouth. Then move on.
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Re: Ask Eric

Postby theCryptofishist » Mon Jul 07, 2014 3:07 pm

Eric wrote:Only corporate slaves are in bed at 3am. The free are still sleeping at noon.

This explains too much of my life.


Wait, I posted ehre.

Now, I need to ask a question. Hopefully, not a stupid one.

Eric--How long does it take you to "decompress" after a trip to burningman?
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Re: Ask Eric

Postby goathead » Mon Jul 07, 2014 3:34 pm

Eric wrote:You have a fascination with Simon's dick - is there something you'd like to tell us?


Dear Eric

Do you think if he got it done, would he get his teeth fixed, or would he just spend it all on hookers and blow?

hmmmmmm, never mind stupid question.
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Re: Ask Eric

Postby Simon of the Playa » Mon Jul 07, 2014 4:05 pm

eric....


why do people always make fun of my name?


http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Simon
fuck you, it's magic



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Re: Ask Eric

Postby theCryptofishist » Mon Jul 07, 2014 4:07 pm

Eric
Why doesn't Simon feel really cool for being named after a sin that did so much to push Martin Luther to (actually or metaphorically) nail his 95 (?) theses to that door?
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Re: Ask Eric

Postby goathead » Mon Jul 07, 2014 4:09 pm

Dear Eric

What does fruit cocktail have to do with it?
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Re: Ask Eric

Postby Eric » Mon Jul 07, 2014 4:28 pm

theCryptofishist wrote:Eric--How long does it take you to "decompress" after a trip to burningman?


What's "decompress". This is my life - the dust is just part of it.

goathead wrote:hmmmmmm, never mind stupid question.


Correct. It's always hookers & blow.

Simon of the Playa wrote:why do people always make fun of my name?


Try being "Eric the Red" all your life. Fuck 'em. I just bury my axe in their skulls - you should just laugh at them while enjoying your hookers & blow.

theCryptofishist wrote:Why doesn't Simon feel really cool for being named after a sin that did so much to push Martin Luther to (actually or metaphorically) nail his 95 (?) theses to that door?


Who would feel cool about having any connection to Martin Luther? Stuffed priggish fun-hating twit.

goathead wrote:What does fruit cocktail have to do with it?


Everything
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Re: Ask Eric

Postby Roberto Dobbisano » Mon Jul 07, 2014 4:41 pm

eric, do you think steve jobs was a druggie?



[media]





i mean "bong".....c'mon, he's not fooling anyone...
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Re: Ask Eric

Postby Eric » Mon Jul 07, 2014 6:07 pm

Roberto Dobbisano wrote:eric, do you think steve jobs was a druggie?
i mean "bong".....c'mon, he's not fooling anyone...


Yes, but I don't think his drugs involved a bong.
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Re: Ask Eric

Postby goathead » Sun Jul 13, 2014 2:07 am

Dear Eric

Wouldn't the free be just going to bed at noon?
Ffwcio eich diwrnod
Jebem ti dan
Tpaxhnte ball aehb
Nasrat na vas den
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Re: Ask Eric

Postby Eric » Sun Jul 13, 2014 4:23 pm

The free get to go to bed whenever they want - it's that whole "freedom" thing.
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Re: Ask Eric

Postby goathead » Tue Jul 15, 2014 11:35 am

Dear Eric

Two finger normal, the entire hand kinky?
Ffwcio eich diwrnod
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Re: Ask Eric

Postby goathead » Tue Jul 15, 2014 1:06 pm

Dear Eric

If men think with their dicks, do women think with their ovaries?
Ffwcio eich diwrnod
Jebem ti dan
Tpaxhnte ball aehb
Nasrat na vas den
Namaste, zkurvysynu
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Re: Ask Eric

Postby goathead » Tue Jul 15, 2014 1:21 pm

Dear Eric

Why do people refer to Big Brother as being oppressive? Don't have a big brother myself but a shit load of older cousins that I use to get in trouble with.
It always seemed like it was Big Mother that use to whip our asses though....
Plus as a big brother myself, it does seem like there were a few things that I did show my younger brother.
:lol:
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Re: Ask Eric

Postby goathead » Tue Jul 15, 2014 2:14 pm

Hopefully right thread.

:lol:

Dear Eric

Are the Burgins scared to ask you questions?
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Re: Ask Eric

Postby GreyCoyote » Tue Jul 15, 2014 2:25 pm

Dear Eric;

What size leash does Goathead need, and can I rent him out to other ePlayans at the M&G? :mrgreen:
"Resistance is futile. You will be commodified"..."
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Re: Ask Eric

Postby goathead » Tue Jul 15, 2014 2:31 pm

Dear GreyCoyote

I love your songs in the fall.

:twisted:

Pups are always so cute.

:lol:
Ffwcio eich diwrnod
Jebem ti dan
Tpaxhnte ball aehb
Nasrat na vas den
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Re: Ask Eric

Postby graidawg » Tue Jul 15, 2014 2:42 pm

Dear Eric thank you for decifering my gibberish and answering it correctly. as for the question.errr ok how about this

when you find yourself considering violence because nothing else seems to work what do you do?
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Re: Ask Eric

Postby goathead » Tue Jul 15, 2014 2:44 pm

fart

and have another beer...

Sorry Eric just to simple
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Jebem ti dan
Tpaxhnte ball aehb
Nasrat na vas den
Namaste, zkurvysynu
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Re: Ask Eric

Postby goathead » Tue Jul 15, 2014 3:56 pm

Dear Eric

Would I submit to a leash? What would it be studded with? :twisted:
Ffwcio eich diwrnod
Jebem ti dan
Tpaxhnte ball aehb
Nasrat na vas den
Namaste, zkurvysynu
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Re: Ask Eric

Postby goathead » Tue Jul 15, 2014 4:39 pm

Dear Eric

Why do some people seem to be opposed to asking questions of you?
Ffwcio eich diwrnod
Jebem ti dan
Tpaxhnte ball aehb
Nasrat na vas den
Namaste, zkurvysynu
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