Oh man that is so me...
Lemme tell ya, once upon a time I was a young bride and trying so hard to be sweet, you know? And my dear husband took me to the Taj Mahal.
We were wandering around that magically beautiful place bein' all lovey-dovey romantic, you know how that goes... so I was totally steeped in sweetness when a very ragged beggar came up to us, as they do, and grunted at us. Actually his tongue had been cut out. I knew sometimes people will do that to their kids over there to make better beggars of them, but, it was just pitiful. So he's grunting at us pretty persuasively, right, when I looked up at my husband and said, all wide-eyed just like Dorothy:
"Oil can! He said, 'oil can!' "
I never went back to fake sweet. So that is why I will see all you jokers in hell.