tell me a story

All things outside of Burning Man.

Postby Trishntek » Sun Apr 03, 2011 10:22 am

,,,, the bidet spray filled the mouths of the vocalists in the midst of the word they were singing,,, it was the word ALL and the spray went deeply into their throats causing them to choke and cough. But when they realized how good the spray tasted,,,, being awash with juices of Bliss,,,, they,,,,
RETROFROLIC, the place of Pink, Pain and Pleasure!
http://www.retrofrolic.com
Some call me Tnt,,,, works for me!
User avatar
Trishntek
 
Posts: 3464
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2010 10:27 pm
Location: Ventura, CA, USA
Burning Since: 2010
Camp Name: Retrofrolic!

Postby Sail Man » Sun Apr 03, 2011 12:04 pm

swallowed. And dropping to their knee's they began to paw at each other, tearing clothing off whomever was nearest them. And above them all, watching with a bemused smile, stood......
Excuse me Ma'am, your going to feel a small prick.
_______________________________________

Algorithms never survive the first thirty seconds of patient contact
User avatar
Sail Man
 
Posts: 4500
Joined: Tue Sep 30, 2008 10:03 am
Location: 20 Minutes into the Future
Burning Since: 2008
Camp Name: Kidsville: Delicious

Postby OnceTheDustClears » Mon Apr 04, 2011 8:36 am

...a lone masked figure...arms outstretched.

As the dust cleared and the glistening form was revealed,
the assembled crowd gasped and then hushed and then as if by magic
chanted in unison "...
User avatar
OnceTheDustClears
 
Posts: 1309
Joined: Sun Jan 18, 2009 5:46 pm

Postby ygmir » Mon Apr 04, 2011 8:39 am

" OOOOhhhhh.........I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener"............
YGMIR

Unabashed Nordic
Pagan
User avatar
ygmir
 
Posts: 25977
Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2007 8:36 pm
Location: nevada county
Burning Since: 2017
Camp Name: qqqq

Postby OnceTheDustClears » Mon Apr 04, 2011 8:48 am

And thus began the marathon rendition of the infamous gyrating pulsating
Wiener Dance.
User avatar
OnceTheDustClears
 
Posts: 1309
Joined: Sun Jan 18, 2009 5:46 pm

Postby ygmir » Mon Apr 04, 2011 9:16 am

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlyN0L4IMck[/youtube]
YGMIR

Unabashed Nordic
Pagan
User avatar
ygmir
 
Posts: 25977
Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2007 8:36 pm
Location: nevada county
Burning Since: 2017
Camp Name: qqqq

Postby OnceTheDustClears » Mon Apr 04, 2011 9:26 am

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. In fact...
User avatar
OnceTheDustClears
 
Posts: 1309
Joined: Sun Jan 18, 2009 5:46 pm

Postby OnceTheDustClears » Mon Apr 04, 2011 10:46 am

Although many covered their eyes and ran screaming into the night and others collapsed to the dust in shock and confusion, still others were inspired to dust off their own wieners and begin a dance of their own.

One of the merry band of Weenie Wankers out to show off his shenanigans was none other than....
User avatar
OnceTheDustClears
 
Posts: 1309
Joined: Sun Jan 18, 2009 5:46 pm

Postby ygmir » Fri Apr 29, 2011 10:15 pm

Image

the weenie wankerest funster of them all.
since being jerked off his throne, as king of Saturday morning programming, he retreated to the desert........working tirelessly, day and night......night and day.
And this, was his first opportunity, in front of a massing audience, to............
YGMIR

Unabashed Nordic
Pagan
User avatar
ygmir
 
Posts: 25977
Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2007 8:36 pm
Location: nevada county
Burning Since: 2017
Camp Name: qqqq

Postby Sail Man » Sat Apr 30, 2011 4:06 pm

rip off his clothes and reveal that he had become a she, and that he was the lover of none other then.....
Excuse me Ma'am, your going to feel a small prick.
_______________________________________

Algorithms never survive the first thirty seconds of patient contact
User avatar
Sail Man
 
Posts: 4500
Joined: Tue Sep 30, 2008 10:03 am
Location: 20 Minutes into the Future
Burning Since: 2008
Camp Name: Kidsville: Delicious

Postby OnceTheDustClears » Sat Apr 30, 2011 6:14 pm

...King Kong. Who although very large had a tiny singing voice. It was surprisingly melodic and seemed to draw people from near and far. One person in particular was so entranced by his voice that his lover became jealous. An argument ensued and names were called. Pee Wee (a misnomer to be sure) was heard to shout "why you are nothing but a..."
User avatar
OnceTheDustClears
 
Posts: 1309
Joined: Sun Jan 18, 2009 5:46 pm

Postby littleflower » Sat Apr 30, 2011 7:14 pm

.... little flower. it takes a REAL m ...er, woman to handle king kong .... his voice may be sweet, and his scent lovely, but his .....
User avatar
littleflower
 
Posts: 3377
Joined: Mon Sep 01, 2008 7:30 pm
Location: rainforest canopy

Postby Sail Man » Sun May 01, 2011 3:14 pm

credit cards were all platinum cards, and we all know that she was a woman who preferred Sax Fifth Avenue over Sex any day of the week, except on....
Excuse me Ma'am, your going to feel a small prick.
_______________________________________

Algorithms never survive the first thirty seconds of patient contact
User avatar
Sail Man
 
Posts: 4500
Joined: Tue Sep 30, 2008 10:03 am
Location: 20 Minutes into the Future
Burning Since: 2008
Camp Name: Kidsville: Delicious

Postby OnceTheDustClears » Sun May 01, 2011 3:24 pm

Taco Tuesdays. They would happily gorge themselves until...
User avatar
OnceTheDustClears
 
Posts: 1309
Joined: Sun Jan 18, 2009 5:46 pm

Postby ygmir » Sat May 14, 2011 8:30 pm

Godzilla returns:
Image

and he's pissed 'cause you know, you can't serve good Mexican food in Japan, it'll create a worm hole.
Speaking of worm holes.....................
YGMIR

Unabashed Nordic
Pagan
User avatar
ygmir
 
Posts: 25977
Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2007 8:36 pm
Location: nevada county
Burning Since: 2017
Camp Name: qqqq

Postby goathead » Sun May 15, 2011 4:22 am

No, Superman cannot ride in your cheeks as you run around with him! Now, take him out, and pull your pants up!
Ffwcio eich diwrnod
Jebem ti dan
Tpaxhnte ball aehb
Nasrat na vas den
Namaste, zkurvysynu

It will be some sort of incredible over-worded hippie prattle, attempting to disguise the
Eternal Theme
Burn Shit And Blow Shit Up. Eric
User avatar
goathead
 
Posts: 4864
Joined: Tue Sep 02, 2003 5:02 pm
Location: Where I live is not far from home.

Postby ygmir » Sun May 15, 2011 6:43 am

goathead wrote:No, Superman cannot ride in your cheeks as you run around with him! Now, take him out, and pull your pants up!


Said the wiley Goat/Sexmaster.
And, as he was admonishing Shambala, for it was he running away from Superman (or so it appeared), sans panties, we all knew this was but the first, of many entertaining twists we'd encounter, here, at camp....................
YGMIR

Unabashed Nordic
Pagan
User avatar
ygmir
 
Posts: 25977
Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2007 8:36 pm
Location: nevada county
Burning Since: 2017
Camp Name: qqqq

Postby FIGJAM » Sun May 15, 2011 10:38 am

...Dunmanifesten, where tired artists go to retire.

But thier addictive creativity would not let them stop calaberating to build the.......
"Don't buy ur Burn...........Build ur Burn!"

Fuck Im Good Just Ask Me
User avatar
FIGJAM
 
Posts: 7072
Joined: Thu Mar 25, 2010 10:39 am
Location: apache junction az.

Postby OnceTheDustClears » Sun May 15, 2011 7:06 pm

...most exquisite...most enthralling...most comforting
well, simply the very best ever
Port-a-potty
ever to be erected on the playa.
It was so luxurious that one could even...
User avatar
OnceTheDustClears
 
Posts: 1309
Joined: Sun Jan 18, 2009 5:46 pm

Postby Elorrum » Sun May 15, 2011 7:44 pm

use two ply toilet paper, as much as you wanted. But it was early in the week, and who knew how it would be abused by the end of the week. The dilemma was whether to slap a padlock on it while it was still clean, or...
What's the name of the act? The Aristocrats.
User avatar
Elorrum
 
Posts: 4468
Joined: Sat Mar 15, 2008 9:09 pm
Location: San Jose, CA

Postby goathead » Mon May 16, 2011 4:15 am

load it with fireworks, fuel and make it the new base for the MAN.

But before DPW could start with their new project, the HAT showed up and said.....
Ffwcio eich diwrnod
Jebem ti dan
Tpaxhnte ball aehb
Nasrat na vas den
Namaste, zkurvysynu

It will be some sort of incredible over-worded hippie prattle, attempting to disguise the
Eternal Theme
Burn Shit And Blow Shit Up. Eric
User avatar
goathead
 
Posts: 4864
Joined: Tue Sep 02, 2003 5:02 pm
Location: Where I live is not far from home.

Postby ygmir » Mon May 16, 2011 6:19 am

"where's the bidet? I want my bidet! youz guyz promised me a bidet, and I want it.........."
Stamping his feet and kicking dirt.

All the poor, meek and timid DPW workers could do, was improvise.

So, they sent for a fire truck and a woven lawn chair.

Just as they were instructing "The Hat" in the process and use of said improvised equipment (getting a volunteer, milk crate and garden sprayer for an test/instructive run), a large screeching noise was heard.

and who, of all people, came out of "First Camp" mad as hell and wonder why they weren't invited was............
YGMIR

Unabashed Nordic
Pagan
User avatar
ygmir
 
Posts: 25977
Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2007 8:36 pm
Location: nevada county
Burning Since: 2017
Camp Name: qqqq

Postby OnceTheDustClears » Mon May 16, 2011 11:28 am

Santa. There was no ho ho-ing and he was definitely not jolly. He was ranting something about dust in his nether regions and was demanding to use the fire hose. Just as he dropped his drawers and bent over to illustrate his problem...
User avatar
OnceTheDustClears
 
Posts: 1309
Joined: Sun Jan 18, 2009 5:46 pm

Postby FIGJAM » Mon May 16, 2011 1:03 pm

one of the fine ladies in the critical tits ride parked her bike in what she thought was a very creative bike rack.

At which point santa exclaimed "Is that you.....
"Don't buy ur Burn...........Build ur Burn!"

Fuck Im Good Just Ask Me
User avatar
FIGJAM
 
Posts: 7072
Joined: Thu Mar 25, 2010 10:39 am
Location: apache junction az.

Postby Bin Noddin » Mon May 16, 2011 8:02 pm

... Louis? ...
[youtube]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0umNpnazwno[/youtube]
"I have gobs of mustard and ketchup on the front of my shirt, which does not make me a hot dog." Sam A. McKeen
User avatar
Bin Noddin
 
Posts: 2992
Joined: Sat Nov 12, 2005 12:00 am
Location: Silver Spring, MD

Postby littleflower » Mon May 16, 2011 9:20 pm

.... but the fine, topless vixen just kept tooting on her horn, and soon a flute came 'round to play, and an oboe ..... but when a lady with a tuba appeared .....
User avatar
littleflower
 
Posts: 3377
Joined: Mon Sep 01, 2008 7:30 pm
Location: rainforest canopy

Postby gaminwench » Mon May 16, 2011 10:49 pm

followed by a marching bassoonist...and a gamelan played by monkeys...
User avatar
gaminwench
 
Posts: 1718
Joined: Fri Oct 07, 2005 11:57 am
Location: Shangri-la
Burning Since: 1999
Camp Name: DOTA, EoD, OBOP

Postby Bin Noddin » Tue May 17, 2011 7:20 am

. . . made Louis shout "Aren't you guys supposed to by typing 'Ulyses'"? But the monkeys shouted back "we finished that, we're now on to . . .
"I have gobs of mustard and ketchup on the front of my shirt, which does not make me a hot dog." Sam A. McKeen
User avatar
Bin Noddin
 
Posts: 2992
Joined: Sat Nov 12, 2005 12:00 am
Location: Silver Spring, MD

Postby ygmir » Tue May 17, 2011 7:31 am

writing Chinese instruction manuals. They say we am vely good on it, maybe go for see doctor sometimes.

And so, the monkey kept banging away on their typewriters, and, the band played on.

As day became night, night melted to morning, and again darkness fell, the crowd noticed an omnipresent sound, seemingly emanating from everywhere, and nowhere.
Almost that of a Gregorian chant, sung by hundreds, nay, thousands of small, but "BASSO PROFUNDO" voiced monks.

What is that tune, the crowd murmured..........
until, someone announced:
I recognize that song, from long ago, and far away.....it's..........
YGMIR

Unabashed Nordic
Pagan
User avatar
ygmir
 
Posts: 25977
Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2007 8:36 pm
Location: nevada county
Burning Since: 2017
Camp Name: qqqq

Postby OnceTheDustClears » Tue May 17, 2011 7:55 am

...the theme song from The Smurfs animated mini series being blasted incessantly from Saturday morning cartoons and cereal camp. A flash mob of blue people began to...
User avatar
OnceTheDustClears
 
Posts: 1309
Joined: Sun Jan 18, 2009 5:46 pm

PreviousNext

Return to Open Discussion

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests