PLAYA LIMERICKS! Post Em Here...

All things outside of Burning Man.

Postby Lassen Forge » Wed Oct 17, 2007 8:57 pm

I saw this moop mess on the Playa
I swore it looked like Jambalaya
The campers, they split
leaving behind their shit
Leaving me as a Playa messiah.

So I waded into the mess in doc martins
to clean up the wages of their sins
But my boobies were bare
Not a stitch of clothes there
My new playa name is "miss red skins".

The dust I did scour and sift
All the while boiling mad - I was miffed!
If those yahoos dare show
To the dirt we shall go
and their butt with my shoe I shall lift!

bb
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Postby Tiahaar » Thu Oct 18, 2007 12:03 am

There's a burner who lives in Goleta
His transport is a really old beata
No friends could he find
To share in kind
A magnificent trip to the playa

'Well what the hell' he stoutly proclaimed
'I'm going anyway, its ordained!
Off to the dust and the heat
And maybe some meat :P
My excitement is barely contained!'

So he joined up with an early work crew
Busted ass and helped put the job through
Early dust storms did shred
His shade tarp, and he said,
'#^$%%@#**!!! and your Green Earth Mother too!!!'

But over such minor things he prevailed
The trike flame effects, they were nailed!
An awesome time was had
And he was very very glad
In 2007 from Black Rock City he hailed!
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Postby Birdman » Thu Oct 18, 2007 8:01 am

OK I got the message, you lot
what to post or not
from the Playa I'm not a burner
in your eyes I'm a learner
but BRC may have me shot.

bb, you're the best limerick writer that I know of, me, I tend to write five lines rhyming or complete stories in a sort of limerick form.

I salute you.
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Postby barnz » Thu Oct 18, 2007 9:24 am

madmatt wrote:"What's the best playa beer," asked a hottie
"Do you prefer PBR or Tecate?"
The debate it still rages
Between burner fools and sages
But of course everyone knows it's Tecate.


Are you by chance a Flight of the Conchords fan?
This seems like a Jermainism to me! :)
~~~~~~~~
known on the Playa (especially Ranger Radios) as HOOPY FROOD.

"A towel … is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have." – Douglas Adams
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LeChatNoir : )

Postby Tiahaar » Thu Oct 18, 2007 11:05 am

There once was this large black feline
Whose talents as a smith were divine
He came from Kentucky
Playa friends they were lucky
To ride on his Contraption so fine!
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Postby Birdman » Thu Oct 18, 2007 11:26 am

You are all burners so great
wish I could call you a mate
your writing's so hot
mine is not
'cos I arrived here too late.
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BBS : )

Postby Tiahaar » Thu Oct 18, 2007 11:59 am

BRC has this Signorina named Sue
Whose feats are mighty and great it is true!
She drives Cats and flies planes
Welds fights flirts and maintains
Knockout beauty; oh watch-out Zsu Zsu!
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Postby Birdman » Thu Oct 18, 2007 1:45 pm

There's this girl from Black Rock C.
whose watching what I write and see
she knows I'm not a burner
just a big city earner
to the future of this thread I have the key.
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Postby Birdman » Thu Oct 18, 2007 2:28 pm

The life of the key could mean
that as a burner you are all seen
as maybe a playa
in my eyes a'clearer
in BRC you've all been.
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Postby Birdman » Thu Oct 18, 2007 2:33 pm

I could put it another way
the key is alive today
it controls the city clock
where Black Rock citizens flock
and in the square they have their say.
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Postby Birdman » Thu Oct 18, 2007 3:27 pm

If you're like me you could hear the clock say,
"open me with the key and hear the time of day
not only do I tell the time and dates
I watch over BRC's citizens fates
as in winter on the ice they fall and lay."
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Postby madmatt » Thu Oct 18, 2007 4:05 pm

Birdman wrote:If you're like me you could hear the clock say,
"open me with the key and hear the time of day
not only do I tell the time and dates
I watch over BRC's citizens fates
as in winter on the ice they fall and lay."


Birdman was on eplaya really tryin
Snorted speed and so high he was flyin
So he rattled off threads
Till we were out of our heads
And his goal remained mystifyin
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Postby help » Thu Oct 18, 2007 11:10 pm

Birdman, you leave no doubt,
You don't know what we're talking about,
Just commit to a plan
To go see the Man,
in the city we all like to tout.

I know I cannot cast aspersion,
'Til this year, even I was a virgin,
Embrace dust and sun,
And you'll find when it's done,
You'll have really enjoyed your excursion!

Twas a "Taker" who once left the "Plains,"
With desires of expanding his brains,
He playa'd his liver,
Became a "Giver,"
And does cherish the "Self" he retains.

On the playa with Misfits for hours,
After climbing on art cars, and towers,
I realized through the haze,
'Twasn't hours, but days,
And I had lost all verbal powers!

With my senses almost fully regained,
Here's some wisdom I have retained:
In Black Rock, you're home,
No matter where you're from,
'Til you've been there, that can't be explained.
I was better last year.
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Postby Lassen Forge » Fri Oct 19, 2007 5:55 am



Wow, Help, I am truly impressed
That run was one of the best
Your writing is hot
for a virgin, you're not;
your talent has withstood the test.


(Edited to repair this here post
Short on rhyme, and more off topic as most.
What I had tried to say
Ended up quite blasè
And for style, Methinks it was toast!)
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Postby Birdman » Fri Oct 19, 2007 7:24 am

I may or may not disappear
to help me has been dear
my vocabulary isn't great
you make me irate
but you Burners make it clear.
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Postby madmatt » Fri Oct 19, 2007 7:29 am

Birdman wrote:I may or may not disappear
to help me has been dear
my vocabulary isn't great
you make me irate
but you Burners make it clear.


One thing about burners you must know
Wit, sas (and their ass) they readily show
But virgins are forgiven
After long distances they have driven
And finally, finally, to Black Rock they go.
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Postby madmatt » Fri Oct 19, 2007 7:31 am

help wrote:Twas a "Taker" who once left the "Plains,"
With desires of expanding his brains,
He playa'd his liver,
Became a "Giver,"
And does cherish the "Self" he retains.

On the playa with Misfits for hours,
After climbing on art cars, and towers,
I realized through the haze,
'Twasn't hours, but days,
And I had lost all verbal powers!

With my senses almost fully regained,
Here's some wisdom I have retained:
In Black Rock, you're home,
No matter where you're from,
'Til you've been there, that can't be explained.


clap clap clap clap!
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Postby Birdman » Fri Oct 19, 2007 7:33 am

Let's try to write a proper limerick...

There once was a lady Burner
she was in the mill, a turner
and churned out objects so good
many were made of wood
and no longer was she a learner.
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Postby theCryptofishist » Fri Oct 19, 2007 11:35 am

At least it's not iambic pentameter.
That's a difficult perameter.
My iambic feet
Were cut off last week
Leaving me somewhat mad and bitter.

(Sorry for thread drift and assonance.)
Simon's real sig line?

Embrace the Sock

Winners never quilt, quilters never win...
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Postby Birdman » Fri Oct 19, 2007 1:37 pm

There once was this lady from Black Rock
she was caught speeding & put in the dock
the judge said how'd you plead
she dropped her * and then weed
and said to his honor now you can, up me, lock.
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Postby help » Fri Oct 19, 2007 3:22 pm

Crypto-sorry to hear of you feet,
Hey, atleast you have still got your Seat:
Poems throughout time
Do not always rhyme,
but that doesn't mean they're not neat.

"Top 40 Gordy" hit "Haiku for beer,"
5 inside turned just as he drew near,
He gave them his verse,
They all looked quite terse,
And ignored him, how perfectly queer!

Gordy took one on the chin,
Empty-handed he started to grin,
"Playa-th give-take away,
And it seems that today,
That's a battle I simply won't win!"

I set out to help my younger brother,
5-7-5: we would Haiku another
They'd be happy to hear,
And then toss him a beer,
With affection, or something or other.

He told me, "They've had their chance,"
Elsewhere he'd spread his romance,
The playa had given,
and he was again livin'
Undetered by a bad circumstance!

So I guess what I'm trying to say,
When it comes to the end of the day,
Iambic's just one
Of the ways to have fun
In the poetic world of word play!



Now my two, Haiku, for you:

The Big Rig Jig spins
In my mind, unbound to time,
Come with me-let's climb!

Default can't compete,
It tries ever so sweetly,
Though, incompletely.
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Postby madmatt » Fri Oct 19, 2007 4:09 pm

These dusty rhymes are all very clever
Playa poems are quite an endeavor
But without pooing or pissing, it seems something's missing
Without potty humor
Are they limericks, I say, "fuck not!"
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Postby theCryptofishist » Fri Oct 19, 2007 5:56 pm

A proper victorian was Lear
Followed propriaties near
He wrote for the children
Knew if he wanted to sell again
He couldn't versify too queer.
Simon's real sig line?

Embrace the Sock

Winners never quilt, quilters never win...
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Postby Tiahaar » Fri Oct 19, 2007 10:11 pm

madmatt wrote:These dusty rhymes are all very clever
Playa poems are quite an endeavor
But without pooing or pissing, it seems something's missing
Without potty humor
Are they limericks, I say, "fuck not!"

point taken...damn this is a tough crowd...ok:

Around about 8:33
This yahoo he needed to pee
So he pulled down his shorts
And watered Best's forts
Now he's deaf with a horn up his weewee.

geez this is bad and addicting...SOMEbody better like it
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Postby spidermonkey » Sat Oct 20, 2007 4:44 am

a man looking out at the playa
was not so happy with the sight-a
he turned to the man
formulated a plan
then lit the mothafucka on fiya
fire is wild and untamed, like love...... it can hurt you but you play with it anyways )'(
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Postby Birdman » Sat Oct 20, 2007 8:24 am

OK madmatt you're in
she said fucking me is a sin
I said lick my arse
or put up me, a vase
and on the Playa, who'll win.
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Postby Birdman » Sat Oct 20, 2007 8:31 am

There once was a lady in black
she fucked me until I had the knack
when I couldn't take no more
she said, is your cock so sore
that it is now turning very black?
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Postby Birdman » Sat Oct 20, 2007 8:36 am

I forgot to mention the Playa
she said, I wanna laya
fuck me black and blue
until you come as you do
but blame madmatt 'cos he's the saya.
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Postby Birdman » Sat Oct 20, 2007 8:46 am

I once was in Black Rock
when I heard on the door a knock
this arsehole said to me
I wanna in your garden, pee
I said try it & I'll give you a fuck.
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Postby Birdman » Sat Oct 20, 2007 8:49 am

I'm not that kinda guy
but it rhymes as a lie
on the Playa I'm not in
that kinda thing is a sin
whoever tries it will die.
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