CRUSH THIS

All things outside of Burning Man.

Postby TestesInSac » Mon Sep 22, 2003 3:10 pm

Spokes wrote:You just have to get a little ass whereever you can.


In side my ass is a little ass trying to be free.
I am my own sock puppet.
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Postby PJ » Mon Sep 22, 2003 5:05 pm

TestesInSac wrote:Inside my ass is a little ass trying to be free.


Tom has a little ass hidden deep inside him,
and in that ass is another ass, and so ad infinitum.
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Postby nymphgonebad » Mon Sep 22, 2003 10:57 pm

blyslv wrote:Ha, I usually form crushes on girls who work in bike shops. We brought a few inner tubes down to the bike repair shop and invited people to the bar. Two showed up, both newbies. I had a crush on the girl 'cuz she's also a bike messenger who likes the buzz you get from mixing it up with traffic.

Whee!


was she from the bay area? my all-time favorite bar in sf is the tempest, the place where all the bike messengers hang.
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My name

Postby Patience » Tue Sep 23, 2003 11:35 am

mario, hans & travis from chillonia - three different flavors of yum!


I told you, my name is not Travis.
Last edited by Patience on Tue Sep 23, 2003 6:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Kinetic » Tue Sep 23, 2003 11:38 am

princess strych-9 wrote:
blyslv wrote:Ha, I usually form crushes on girls who work in bike shops. We brought a few inner tubes down to the bike repair shop and invited people to the bar. Two showed up, both newbies. I had a crush on the girl 'cuz she's also a bike messenger who likes the buzz you get from mixing it up with traffic.

Whee!


was she from the bay area? my all-time favorite bar in sf is the tempest, the place where all the bike messengers hang.


This is not just a bay area thing....I know 3 very cute bike shop girls here in KC...one races professionally. She can come in with scrapes and scratches and still look cute. And she is the best bike tuner I've ever met, no matter how bad I screw the bike up she can find a way to fix it. The others are pretty cute, but this one is just so hot!

Mixing it up with her would be alot of fun......
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Postby Guest » Tue Sep 23, 2003 4:38 pm

PJ wrote: Tom has a little ass hidden deep inside him,
and in that ass is another ass, and so ad infinitum.


There's some sort of weird, recursive Being John Malkovich thing going on here...
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Postby Angry Butterfly » Tue Sep 23, 2003 7:57 pm

blyslv wrote:Ha, I usually form crushes on girls who work in bike shops. We brought a few inner tubes down to the bike repair shop and invited people to the bar. Two showed up, both newbies. I had a crush on the girl 'cuz she's also a bike messenger who likes the buzz you get from mixing it up with traffic.

Whee!

GIRL BIKE MESSENGER! now i can truely say i am bisexual, MUST FIND FEMALE BIKE MESSENGER!
I took the road less traveled, and now I would like to go back and find the paved one.
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Postby Lydia Love » Tue Sep 23, 2003 8:11 pm

I used to get such terrible crushes on the bike messengers that came in back in the day when I was a receptionist.

They'd come in all sweaty and they'd have those muscled legs. And that "I've just played in traffic" look was a big bonus too.

There was one - he was so damn cute. He had the whitest smile I've ever seen and what a nice ass!


I tried so freakin hard to get his attention. I'd dawdle over signing his clipboard. I'd giggle and lean over the desk. I started wearing shorter skirts... nothing. nada.

<sigh>
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Postby Angry Butterfly » Tue Sep 23, 2003 8:19 pm

Bike messangers, *DROOL* I never met a girl one though.
I took the road less traveled, and now I would like to go back and find the paved one.
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Re: My name

Postby nymphgonebad » Wed Sep 24, 2003 6:12 am

Patience wrote:
mario, hans & travis from chillonia - three different flavors of yum!


I told you, my name is not Travis.


you must have playa dust in your ears, patience.

i didn't say travis - i said travesty.

oh, and thanks for not telling me that sasha's (hans) playa name is actually hands! nothin like a good mindfuck, is there? watch out kiddo - my favorite motto is: revenge is a dish best eaten cold. you'll never see it coming....

payback's a bitch, aint it?

we need to be careful, patience; we could inflict some serious historical weaknesses on each other. we really musn't, dear; think of the children.
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Postby JezebelinHell » Wed Sep 24, 2003 6:21 am

Had a crush on a girl in my actual camp, two in the camp I spent most of my week in, at least 500 girls walked by me that I gladly would have followed home, and the girl I hooked up with on the Double Decker bus was pretty fuckin' hot. Almost joined the 10 foot high club there. So many beautiful amazing people. I have crushes on all of them I think. Except PJ, cause everytime I think of him I think of the guy with his hand in the cow's butt.
"The future is a whore, she promises herself to everyone."
--Poe
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Postby nymphgonebad » Wed Sep 24, 2003 6:26 am

Angry Butterfly wrote:Bike messangers, *DROOL* I never met a girl one though.


it's a date, fly-girl! we'll go to the tempest and drink and play pinball and pool and smoke like chimneys (not only does the tempest have bike messengers; it's the only bar in sf where you can smoke (anything, including your shoes) inside, in plain sight. i suspect that bike messengers don't spend ten consecutive seconds regarding the local statutes. we'll have a contest; let's see who can arrange the largest orgy.
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Postby PJ » Wed Sep 24, 2003 8:50 am

genghis wrote:Being John Malkovich


I'm still annoyed that it didn't win the Best Film Oscar.
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Postby Blenderhead » Wed Sep 24, 2003 9:01 am

every time I've been to the Dovre Club, it's been filled with cigarette smoke. Those crazy Irish...
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Payback

Postby Patience » Wed Sep 24, 2003 9:13 am

princess strych-9 wrote:oh, and thanks for not telling me that sasha's (hans) playa name is actually hands! nothin like a good mindfuck, is there? watch out kiddo - my favorite motto is: revenge is a dish best eaten cold. you'll never see it coming....


Funny, I told everyone else his name was hands.

payback's a bitch, aint it?


Payback can sometimes be a bitch, but you manage to keep it up 24-7.

we need to be careful, patience; we could inflict some serious historical weaknesses on each other. we really musn't, dear; think of the children.


Screw the children, bring it on. You can't expect to throw the first punch and then just walk away, sweetheart.

Smooches,

Travesty
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Postby Guest » Wed Sep 24, 2003 9:18 am

PJ wrote:
genghis wrote:Being John Malkovich


I'm still annoyed that it didn't win the Best Film Oscar.

word. i woulda also given best supporting to cameron diaz for making her hot self unrecognizable and frumpy.
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Postby Patience » Wed Sep 24, 2003 9:41 am

genghis wrote:
PJ wrote:
genghis wrote:Being John Malkovich


I'm still annoyed that it didn't win the Best Film Oscar.

word. i woulda also given best supporting to cameron diaz for making her hot self unrecognizable and frumpy.


Costumes and makeup made her frumpy. She is fine, but she still can't act.
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Postby JezebelinHell » Wed Sep 24, 2003 9:43 am

But as soon as they start handing out that 'best ass' oscar...
"The future is a whore, she promises herself to everyone."
--Poe
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Postby nymphgonebad » Wed Sep 24, 2003 10:08 am

JezebelinHell wrote:But as soon as they start handing out that 'best ass' oscar...


sorry, jez, but that trophy is mine :twisted: they'll have to pry it out of my cold, dead fingers with the jaws of life.

that image makes me horny - please tell me i'm not the only one.
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Postby JezebelinHell » Wed Sep 24, 2003 10:15 am

Ah...but has your ass been in a major motion picture? If not, you don't qualify for the oscar nod. (if it has, please send a VHS copy to me immediately, or post a link or something)
"The future is a whore, she promises herself to everyone."
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back to the thread...kinda

Postby OregonRed » Wed Sep 24, 2003 10:43 am

Lydia Love wrote:I used to get such terrible crushes on the bike messengers that came in back in the day when I was a receptionist.

They'd come in all sweaty and they'd have those muscled legs. And that "I've just played in traffic" look was a big bonus too.

There was one - he was so damn cute. He had the whitest smile I've ever seen and what a nice ass!


I tried so freakin hard to get his attention. I'd dawdle over signing his clipboard. I'd giggle and lean over the desk. I started wearing shorter skirts... nothing. nada.

<sigh>


Perhaps he was gay. I find it hard to believe that ANY straight man wouldn't react to you putting on the moves!

Of course there is another possibility...


Perhaps he was clueless.
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Postby PJ » Wed Sep 24, 2003 12:43 pm

princess strych-9 wrote:as soon as they start handing out that 'best ass' oscar...they'll have to pry it out of my cold, dead fingers with the jaws of life.


I'm confused. Did you mean pry the trophy out of your fingers? Or pry your ass out of your fingers?
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Re: back to the thread...kinda

Postby Rob the Wop » Wed Sep 24, 2003 1:00 pm

OregonRed wrote:
Of course there is another possibility...


Perhaps he was clueless.


I think you'll find 95% of men to be. Hell, I know I am.

<i>Occasionally after a night out.</i>
"So how did you like the party babe?"
"It was fun, but that one girl was hitting all over you."
"Huh?" <sound of brain cells slowly frying>
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Postby Flux » Wed Sep 24, 2003 1:17 pm

Lydia Love wrote:I tried so freakin hard to get his attention. I'd dawdle over signing his clipboard. I'd giggle and lean over the desk. I started wearing shorter skirts... nothing. nada.

Then OregonRed wrote:Of course there is another possibility...
Perhaps he was clueless.

Finally, Rob the Wop wrote:I think you'll find 95% of men to be. Hell, I know I am.

I would like to encourage all of you wonderful women to bear this in mind: If you're interested, don't try to drop hints. Men don't get hints! It's not intentional, it's just our nature.

Just say, "Hey, bike boy, wanna go get some lunch?" or whatever. How many potentially great relationships are lost because of cluelessness on the guy's part and fear of (or a distaste for) initiating on the gal's? Sheesh, what a waste!

And yeah, I know, some guys aren't interested unless they do the initiating -- but that's cool, too, 'cause you weed them out early this way. The last thing that strong, independent, intelligent women like those around the e-playa want is some Neanderthal like that, right?

Come on, guys and gals, help me out here.

Love and lust,

Flux
King of Cluelessness
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Postby Guest » Wed Sep 24, 2003 2:11 pm

PJ wrote:I'm confused. Did you mean pry the trophy out of your fingers? Or pry your ass out of your fingers?

I think there's one more permutation you left out.
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Postby III » Wed Sep 24, 2003 2:17 pm

>one more permutation

plenty more, actually. i get 6, total...
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Postby Guest » Wed Sep 24, 2003 2:30 pm

III wrote:>one more permutation

plenty more, actually. i get 6, total...

I think "one more" is strictly correct as well. But, hell, any time you get to play with factorials on the eplaya...
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Postby Patience » Thu Sep 25, 2003 10:04 am

I think I can take that King of Cluelessness title right now. I was on a date last weekend with a woman who, up until halfway through the date, I thought was a lesbian.
We met at BM, and I swear at some point she said something about an ex-girlfriend, etc., that led me to believe that she likes girls. (I don't remember the specifics of the conversation. I was most likely soused at the time.)
So back in SF, when she invited me to a concert, I didn't think much of it, except that I was going to hang out with my new friend, and maybe we'd pick up some women together.
There were tons of signs. I mean, she asked me out, she was dressed up and looking great, she kept touching me while we were talking, you know, hand on my shoulder, my knee, etc. None of this got through. It wasn't until we were dancing and she kind of... moved in on me, that I got the point. Call me Captain Oblivious.
Why is it that I can always intuit crushes and attractions between other people, and so rarely when they involve someone attracted to me? Really, I notice all these subtleties passing between other people, little whispers of body language, and yet when it comes to picking up signals headed my way, a woman needs to practically club me over the head and drag me back to her cave for me to get the message.

[/i]
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Postby TestesInSac » Thu Sep 25, 2003 10:08 am

Patience wrote:...a woman needs to practically club me over the head and drag me back to her cave for me to get the message.
[/i]


I've had similar experiences. Someone posted here that men are as dumb as a bag of hammers. Somehow, the clubbing and hammer thing seem to fit.
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I'll club them

Postby robbidobbs » Thu Sep 25, 2003 10:42 am

I don't seem to have a problem with clubbing men over the head to get the message across. But then I'm pretty vocal about talking about sex. Strike up a conversation about sex, and guys just get all muddy-minded. Usually they'll then work in times/ways they can "see me later." Heh...the power...
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