your stupid joke here

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Re: your stupid joke here

Postby Box Burner » Sat Dec 28, 2013 9:40 pm

It was autumn, and the Indians on the remote reservation asked their new Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was an Indian Chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets, and when he looked at the sky he couldn't tell what the hell the weather was going to be. Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect wood to be prepared.
Being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is the coming winter going to be cold?"
"It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold indeed," the Meteorologist at the weather service responded. So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood in order to be prepared.
One week later he called the National Weather Service again. "Is it going to be a very cold winter?" he asked. "Yes," the man at National Weather Service again replied, "it's going to be a very cold winter." The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of wood they could find.
Two weeks later he called the National Weather Service again. "Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?"
"Absolutely," the man replied. "It looks like it's going to be one of the coldest winters ever."
"How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked. The weatherman replied, "The Indians are collecting firewood like crazy".
Dance in the heart of chaos. . . . .

ὁ δὲ ἀνεξέταστος βίος οὐ βιωτὸς ἀνθρώπῳ
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - --- Σωκράτης

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Re: your stupid joke here

Postby theCryptofishist » Tue Dec 31, 2013 2:42 pm

Simon's real sig line?

Embrace the Sock

Winners never quilt, quilters never win...
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Re: your stupid joke here

Postby Canoe » Fri Jan 03, 2014 9:35 pm

My name is Alice. I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma on the wall, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name who had been in my high school class some 30-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on way back then? Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.

After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High School.
"Yes. Yes, I did. I'm a mustang.", he gleamed with pride.
"When did you graduate?", I asked.
He answered, "in 1975. Why do you ask?"
"You were in my class!", I exclaimed.

He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, old, bald, wrinkled faced, fat-assed, gray-haired, decrepit son-of-a-bitch asked,
"What did you teach???"
*** http://www.burningman.com/preparation/ ***
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Re: your stupid joke here

Postby ZaphodBurner » Mon Jan 06, 2014 3:07 pm

The House, the Senate and the White House staff are on a giant luxury ship, and without warning it sinks. Who is saved?

America.
"The Red Baron is smart.. He never spends the whole night dancing and drinking root beer.. "-The WWI Flying Ace
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Re: your stupid joke here

Postby Thecatman » Thu Jan 09, 2014 8:47 pm

One day a little 6 year old girl says to her father
"Daddy, do all fairy tales begin with 'Once Upon a Time'?
Her father reply's
"Oh no, some begin with 'If I am Elected, I Promise to....'
My cats are cuter than your grandkids!
"We in Arizona (and the rest of the United States) have been more than patient waiting for Washington to act."
"Government is not the solution to our problems, government is the problem."
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