your stupid joke here

All things outside of Burning Man.

rock!

Postby gravy » Sun Sep 28, 2003 10:28 pm

my vote goes to Clandyone's:
What's the difference between a chicken?
One of its legs are both the same. :D

somethin' somethin':

How many pancakes can you fit in a doghouse?


None,, because snakes don't have armpits.
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Postby ragnar1963 » Mon Sep 29, 2003 5:11 pm

A panda walks into a bar and orders a sandwich. The bartender is surprised but gives him one. The panda finishes it, gets up, and walks away.
"Hey, pal, you have to pay for that."
"No, I don't," replies the panda. "Look it up in the dictionary."
"Whaddya mean, look it up?"
The panda says nothing, but pulls out a gun and fires it at the piano player, killing him.
"WHAT THE--"
"Hey, I don't need any more hassle from you," the panda says. "I'm entitled, look it up."
The bartender is baffled and outraged, but before he can catch him, the panda is gone out the door.

That night the bartender goes to the dictionary. Under the word "panda," he reads:

"Four-legged black and white mammal, native to China. Eats shoots and leaves."
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Postby nymphgonebad » Mon Sep 29, 2003 5:20 pm

ragnar1963 wrote:A panda walks into a bar and orders a sandwich. The bartender is surprised but gives him one. The panda finishes it, gets up, and walks away.
"Hey, pal, you have to pay for that."
"No, I don't," replies the panda. "Look it up in the dictionary."
"Whaddya mean, look it up?"
The panda says nothing, but pulls out a gun and fires it at the piano player, killing him.
"WHAT THE--"
"Hey, I don't need any more hassle from you," the panda says. "I'm entitled, look it up."
The bartender is baffled and outraged, but before he can catch him, the panda is gone out the door.

That night the bartender goes to the dictionary. Under the word "panda," he reads:

"Four-legged black and white mammal, native to China. Eats shoots and leaves."



lmao my brother!
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Postby Taniwha » Mon Sep 29, 2003 5:27 pm

ragnar1963 wrote: Eats shoots and leaves."


We have varients of that joke in New Zealand (and probably Australia too)- the punch line is "eats roots and leaves" .... but to us "root" is a synonym for "fuck" so the final meaning is a little different ....
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Postby J » Mon Sep 29, 2003 9:23 pm

How do you stop a clown from laughing?
Hit him in the face with an axe.
Please forget the words that I just blurted out
It wasn't me, it was my strange and creeping doubt
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Postby nymphgonebad » Mon Sep 29, 2003 11:31 pm

vonfunk wrote:How do you stop a clown from laughing?
Hit him in the face with an axe.


you're making me laugh out loud, monkey man!
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Postby JezebelinHell » Tue Sep 30, 2003 2:30 am

Crisis situation narrowly avoided at Macy's:
The U.S. army issued a formal apology to all the workers and customer's of a local Macy's on Friday, after it was explained to President Bush that the ad said they had, "Bed Linen" on the third floor.

Give it a minute, you'll get it.
"The future is a whore, she promises herself to everyone."
--Poe
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Postby JezebelinHell » Tue Sep 30, 2003 2:36 am

q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
a: Wanna go ride bikes?
"The future is a whore, she promises herself to everyone."
--Poe
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Postby Lydia Love » Tue Sep 30, 2003 8:53 am

q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
a: Wanna go ride bikes?


<SNORT!>
It's all about the squirrels.
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Hummna Hummna Hummna...

Postby Last Real Burner » Tue Sep 30, 2003 9:17 am

Borris wrote:Jono: we have our own jokes on this topic, unfourtunatley they are mostly hebrew wordplay. The word piece in hebrew is also slang for a good looking female/male. This is a large base for jokes about suicide bombers.


Two Rabbi's walk into a bar...

unknowingly,
mr smith
"Do you know what happened to the boy who got everything he wished for? - He lived happily ever after".
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Joke Grenade

Postby DogBoy » Wed Oct 01, 2003 7:06 pm

Two Irishmen walk out of a bar...
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Re: Joke Grenade

Postby Kinetic » Wed Oct 01, 2003 7:12 pm

DogBoy wrote:Two Irishmen walk out of a bar...


That's not a joke, that's impossible.
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Postby PJ » Wed Oct 01, 2003 7:17 pm

1,356,253,766 Chinese walk into a bar...
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Impossible, eh?

Postby DogBoy » Wed Oct 01, 2003 9:21 pm

2 DPW guys run out of beer...
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Postby JonoVision » Sat Oct 04, 2003 9:32 am

alice wrote:
JonoVision wrote:How many bull dykes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

THAT'S NOT FUNNY!



unless you're a bull-dyke, you can't make jokes about them.



<SNORT!> Yeah right! Try and stop me!
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Postby rodent » Sat Oct 04, 2003 11:11 am

How do you make your grandmother say a dirty word?






Have her best friend shout "BINGO!"


rodent (putting the eek in geek)
"There's not a word yet,
for old friends, who just met"
-Gonzo, "I'm Going to go Back There Someday"
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Postby antron » Sat Oct 04, 2003 12:12 pm

what do you do with an elephant with three balls?



walk him and pitch to the giraffe.
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Postby Captain Goddammit » Sun Oct 05, 2003 12:38 am

What do you call a gay dinosaur?


A Megasore-ass.
"Whaoomph! Whaomph! Burbbleburbblepattpattpattpatt... WHAAAAAaaoooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa........!!!"
Top fuel dragster, by Elliot Naess
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Postby OregonRed » Sun Oct 05, 2003 2:40 pm

A lesbian dinosaur is a Lickalotapuss.
M*A*S*H 4207 We're not doctors.

"Just be yourself. All the good personalities are taken." stolen from my amazing friend Dwayne Gerken's fb status post.

Image
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mo mo mo

Postby toktomi » Thu Oct 09, 2003 12:07 am

and the 2002 joke of the year...

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket, where she selected a quart of milk, a carton of eggs, juice, and a package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyer belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her, watched as she placed her items in front of the cashier.

He said, "You must be single."

The woman, a bit startled, but intrigued, looked at her four items on the belt, and seeing nothing particularly unusual about her selections said, "Well, ya know, that's right, but how on earth did you know that?

The drunk said, "Cuz you're uglier 'n shit."
of course, that's just my opinion...
...maybe.
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Postby THE ORIGINAL DIGIMAN » Thu Oct 09, 2003 12:13 am

a pic of digiman
Image

i've had too much hemlock.
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Postby Blenderhead » Fri Oct 10, 2003 3:39 pm

Question: What does a Fucktard who now owns a case of babywipes, hundreds of square feet of camo netting and several hundred glowsticks do now that they realize they have no space to store this shit for the next 11 months?

Answer: The get really fucking drunk, that's what they do.
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Postby alice » Fri Oct 10, 2003 3:44 pm

Blenderhead wrote:Question: What does a Fucktard who now owns a case of babywipes, hundreds of square feet of camo netting and several hundred glowsticks do now that they realize they have no space to store this shit for the next 11 months?

Answer: The get really fucking drunk, that's what they do.


hey blenderhead -
i'm in the east bay and have a big-ass garage. plenty of room to store your crap, along with everyone else's.
bitch all you want - it won't change nothin.
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Postby DE FACTO » Fri Oct 10, 2003 3:47 pm

antron wrote:what do you do with an elephant with three balls?





start a pawnshop

that avatar is awsome no joke antron
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Postby Blenderhead » Fri Oct 10, 2003 3:51 pm

alice wrote:
Blenderhead wrote:Question: What does a Fucktard who now owns a case of babywipes, hundreds of square feet of camo netting and several hundred glowsticks do now that they realize they have no space to store this shit for the next 11 months?

Answer: The get really fucking drunk, that's what they do.


hey blenderhead -
i'm in the east bay and have a big-ass garage. plenty of room to store your crap, along with everyone else's.


Many thanks for the offer, Princess! I may have to take you up on that once I start accumulating PVC and tarps for my shade structure.

Happy Decom weekend, everyone. See you Sunday.
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Postby Don Muerto » Fri Oct 10, 2003 8:23 pm

Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?



A: A stick
Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
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Postby alice » Fri Oct 10, 2003 8:30 pm

why was farrah always running?

because no one turned the faucet off.
bitch all you want - it won't change nothin.
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Postby Don Muerto » Fri Oct 10, 2003 8:32 pm

J wrote:How do you stop a clown from laughing?
Hit him in the face with an axe.


FUCK! I just shot water out my nose!
Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
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Postby DE FACTO » Fri Oct 10, 2003 8:35 pm

very cool avatars. no joking

Image ...................... Image
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Postby DUH FECTO » Fri Oct 10, 2003 9:04 pm

>very cool avatars

THAT JOKE WAS VERY STUPID. THIS IS THE FORUM FOR YOU. STAY HERE. THANK YOU FOR YOUR OBEISANCE. THAT IS ALL.
DUH
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