Agony of defeat? (Help!)

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Agony of defeat? (Help!)

Postby ACSenator » Sun Aug 25, 2013 1:07 pm

This is my sob story.

I have a camp, I am packed. I am stuck in a airport hotel in Kansas City. I have tickets for an airplane. I do not have tickets to Burning Man because this was a last minute decision based on the fact I got divorced a week earlier and my schedule freed up.

Do you have a ticket I can buy from you? I can pay cash. I can meet you in LA, SF, Reno, Las Vegas, Atlanta, or New Orleans. Or I can PayPal you for Will Call. Or if you use square, AMEX.

I told my lifelong friend that I would make it to the Playa and so far Ive spent thousands of dollars on sunblock and single ply, missed flights and hotel rooms. I am compelled, driven, obsessed with getting to BRC now. If I can't make it, Im going to drive to Dodge City, Kansas and drink cheap rail bourbon out of a dirty glass and sing Dean Martin songs while offering strangers bits and pieces of pemmican from my army surplus haversack.

So...do you have a ticket? May I buy it from you?

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Re: Agony of defeat? (Help!)

Postby ACSenator » Sun Aug 25, 2013 7:11 pm

I am not going to drive to Dodge City...just in case people actually wanted to see that occur. I kind of did too, in a way, but for like one second.

No more flights out of KC to make this work today. So I remain in a Sheraton, staring at my Alice pack, guiltily eating the protein bars from the front pouch, listening to Patton Oswalt and Mitch Hedburg on iTunes. Later I will go to the lobby and leaf through brochures of area attractions. I will smile, then weep, when I see the one for Dodge City.

Keep me in mind, Burners of Men, should you have an extra ticket!

Grazi!
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Re: Agony of defeat? (Help!)

Postby jkisha » Sun Aug 25, 2013 8:19 pm

Fun read. Sorry i can't help other than to suggest you actively persue the offered threads and Craig's List. Good Luck. (Oh, and make sure you read the threads here on how not to get scammed.)
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Re: Agony of defeat? (Help!)

Postby ACSenator » Sun Aug 25, 2013 9:52 pm

Thanks, jkisha!

I navigated past a few scams already. Alleged ones.

Should my Burning Man dreams perish here on the prairie, mere yards from the tarmac of Kansas City International, I will rest queasy because of my poor room service dietary choices and take solace in the fact that KCI was won in a card game and is the historical site of Bonnie & Clyde's penultimate shoot out. I don't know why I would take solace in that fact other than to say, hey...this is all a crapshoot.

Tomorrow, I will begin anew but will be forced to concede come checkout time at 12 p.m. CST.

Then, after failing to meet checkout time for "personal reasons," I will call for a late checkout and message the ePlaya in a last ditch effort to reunite with my lifelong friend, already on the Playa at 7:00 and Esplanade, she who invited me and expects to see me in that camp. Oh, I will get the late checkout, but I fear the worst in regards to my chances at securing a ticket and safe passage to Black Rock City.

I will visit next year. I did this on a whim, post ticket sales and it's understandable that I am shutout of the world's largest congregation of crazy persons in one of the most inhospitable, least conducive places for sustainable life in America.

But enough about Cleveland. Anyone have a ticket to sell?

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Re: Agony of defeat? (Help!)

Postby ACSenator » Mon Aug 26, 2013 1:39 pm

There were no Dodge City brochures.

WANTED: Dodge City brochures and Groupons for local tours, hotels and casino! Will pay cash for mint condition brochures and face for Groupon. Lodging must accept AAA or Imma sleep in your park Bruce Banner style.
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Re: Agony of defeat? (Help!)

Postby ACSenator » Mon Aug 26, 2013 1:43 pm

See?
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Re: Agony of defeat? (Help!)

Postby BBadger » Mon Aug 26, 2013 2:15 pm

This is one of the better ticket pleas. So I'll actually wish you good luck finding a ticket!
"The essence of tyranny is not iron law. It is capricious law." -- Christopher Hitchens

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Re: Agony of defeat? (Help!)

Postby jkisha » Mon Aug 26, 2013 3:12 pm

BBadger wrote:This is one of the better ticket pleas. So I'll actually wish you good luck finding a ticket!

WOW. :shock: :D :wink:
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Re: Agony of defeat? (Help!)

Postby ACSenator » Tue Aug 27, 2013 12:36 pm

I'm on my way HOME.

At first, I thought I was just going "home" home, as in the home I just got divorced out of. And, yeah, that happened.

After the initial shock of learning there was no initial shock of learning on behalf of my wife that I had only managed to venture a mere 6 miles towards Black Rock City goal (she kind of looked like the first wife in "walk the line" when Johnny tells her Sun di'nt like his songs), it got even better.

"Im going to Dodge City, first wife," I said. "There I will drink cheap whiskey from a dirty glass and sing 'My Rifle, My Pony and Me' with a Rickey Nelson impersonator over and over again until the John Wayne impersonator arrests me or I get to make out with Angie Dickinson. Because Rio Bravo. Great flick."

And then her mom -- my first-mother-in-law -- walked in. If she didnt think my last minute plans on going to Burning Man were to be thought highly of after my first wife's attempt to describe the scene, you can only imagine the pride and joy she felt when she learned that I not only planned on going to there but then also failed to make it to there.

But then I said, "whatever," shrugged and took a nap on the couch with my old college bar workboots on because what are ya gonna do divorce me? And that momentum just cascaded until, yeah, I got a ticket.

Thanks to the Burners who texted hope, advice, admonishment, and consternation but thanks bestly to the burner who negotiated said terms for ticketedness.

My apologies to Dodge City because I was so thinking about thinking about going there.
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Re: Agony of defeat? (Help!)

Postby monotasker » Tue Aug 27, 2013 3:21 pm

This story made my day. Thank you to ACSentaor and especially the instrumental anonymous burner-benefactor.

And thank you for helping me get why I'm still looking for a ticket. I've been too fatalistic in my playa-driven ambitions. My approach has been more amor fati than deus ex machina.

Who wants to help with my uplifting ending? You don't personally need to supply the ticket. I'll take anything. A plot twist where I discover that Burning Man is really an extraterrestrial experiment, and the aliens responsible bribe me with a wristband to keep quiet about it? A Lord of the Rings-style event, where on the road out of Reno I'm picked up by giant desert-eagles and flown into my camp? The small tornado I'm caught in turns out to be a vortex into a temporal wormhole, allowing me to go back in time and buy a ticket in June?

Or maybe I just give up, and decide to just go spend a few days at a hot springs in Oregon. On my way, I find two hitchhikers who were stranded on their way to BM; I pick them up, and learn one has a ticket for sale.

Anyone?
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Re: Agony of defeat? (Help!)

Postby BBadger » Tue Aug 27, 2013 4:40 pm

Obviously it was the rare gift of my well-wishing that made this ticket-miracle possible.
"The essence of tyranny is not iron law. It is capricious law." -- Christopher Hitchens

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Re: Agony of defeat? (Help!)

Postby Canoe » Tue Aug 27, 2013 5:06 pm

BBadger wrote:Obviously it was the rare gift of my well-wishing that made this ticket-miracle possible.

Obviously!

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all this ticket moving going so fast, been no time for snark...
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Re: Agony of defeat? (Help!)

Postby ACSenator » Wed Aug 28, 2013 2:31 am

I had never seen the Great Salt Lake before today. Previously, I just thought it was a place where a man named Brigham settled down, saying it was "the place". I enjoyed the customer service AMEX used to employ out of there in the '80s but I always had a hankering suspicion that they weren't living up to their full potential. For instance, why come my table salt isn't somehow branded with the Salt Lake...brand? I have pink Himalayan, Sicilian Trapani, Fleur di whatevs from Fance and iodized table salt from Rahway, NJ (and that is NOT enough iodine) but I'm sure there's a good reason. The Mormons sound so reasonable.

Nice looking town, though.

I made my connecting flight to Oakland. I booked a room in a castle in Berkely and lost my mind because its the best hotel I've ever stayed at. To be fair, my mind had no chance so let's not get all superior Mr. Hotel whatever your name is. And thanks for letting me hit your indoor pool post posted hours. I could almost feel the dead actors with every chlorinated kick.

I pre-arranged my late checkout.

At the airport, waiting for my slimmer ALICE pack, a Hawaaiian dude standing next to me was singing loudly. I did not know that he was Hawaiian until he told me so. I suspected he was of Anglo-Saxon origin but more accurately, I detected a phrasing and chord pattern that was reminiscent of Bryan Adams' "Heaven." Bryan is Canadian. This guy was from Kauai, I am from a Kansas City Sheraton. Can't we all just get along?

Yes. Yes, we can says Mr. Adams. Because baby you're all that I need. When you're lying here in my arms. I'm finding it hard to believe this is...a $50 cab ride. Seriously?

Tomorrow I shall begin my triumphant march to the playa. Hopefully. If not, it's bbadger's fault. Clearly. I will foe him should the need arise.

Don't give up, monotasker. This isn't a joke. It's often said that the journey is better than the destination. I would believe that except after a long discussion about the domestic policies of King Kamehameha with the Oakland airport dude, he gave me a big South Jersey summer back slap which nearly sent me sprawling over the carousel. Instead, what he said left me reeling:

"Welcome home."

Likewise. Brah.
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Re: Agony of defeat? (Help!)

Postby pink » Tue Sep 03, 2013 8:12 pm

Best ticket wanted post ever. Even beats taking Grandma to the playa, but I'm glad both of you made it. So HOW WAS IT?!
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Re: Agony of defeat? (Help!)

Postby BBadger » Tue Sep 03, 2013 11:25 pm

This is a good thread. I hope you stick around the forums.
"The essence of tyranny is not iron law. It is capricious law." -- Christopher Hitchens

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Re: Agony of defeat? (Help!)

Postby Savannah » Tue Sep 03, 2013 11:32 pm

Fucking hilarious. Best ticket beg ever. :shock:

Because baby you're all that I need. When you're lying here in my arms. I'm finding it hard to believe this is...a $50 cab ride. Seriously?


:lol:

Please be sure to post your recollections of the Burn. [ /wheedle ]

Not here, though. Lots of people have the Tickets threads blocked.
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Re: Agony of defeat? (Help!)

Postby gyre » Sat Sep 07, 2013 10:57 pm

ACSenator wrote:
Should my Burning Man dreams perish here on the prairie, mere yards from the tarmac of Kansas City International, I will rest queasy because of my poor room service dietary choices and take solace in the fact that KCI was won in a card game and is the historical site of Bonnie & Clyde's penultimate shoot out. I don't know why I would take solace in that fact other than to say, hey...this is all a crapshoot.

Wow!
Penultimate in a ticket thread.

A little hard to tell really... unless you know something?

Mostly they were just shot at, multiple times after Kansas City, and supposedly shot at others on several occasions too.
Considering the lack of accuracy of reporting, all questionable.
We know it doesn't take a shootout to get shot by law enforcement.

They were a case study in the results of prisons that really piss people off.
He was unusual in his political motivations, though maybe that wasn't too surprizing for the time.
Good taste in rifles, BAR.

Penultimate, hmm.
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