Nudity an Nervousness

Questions, answers, tips & tricks for newbies and veterans alike

Postby LeChatNoir » Thu Mar 11, 2004 8:08 pm

Go Go Go Lydia!!!

If the Patzooka folks want to do their thing I say go for it. Just don’t complain if a “Frankenstein Mob” of pantless mongrels start out after you and flog you with the very bifurcated garments you launched at them. I could certainly appreciate either of these happenings on many levels. But ultimately I say wear (or don’t wear) what ever you want to wear... Hell... I might just starch my kilt so that it sticks straight out 360 degrees and looks like I’m stuck halfway through a pleated cloth satellite dish. Though I must say that I could see how some people wearing a shirt and no pants could appear to be some deranged, drunken uncle at the BM Family Reunion.

:D :D :D
User avatar
LeChatNoir
 
Posts: 5887
Joined: Mon Sep 01, 2003 8:52 am
Location: Louisville, Ky

Postby desertmac » Thu Mar 11, 2004 8:42 pm

Heya Zephyr, I assumed from the start that people wearing shirts only were probably doing it because they want to be nude, but they're out in the desert in a dry lake bed and they aren't used to being in the sun for six days all day and didn't want to sunburn like hell. True, it's not as attractive (and guys still run the risk of sunburning their peckers, :( ) but maybe they could be encouraged to make their shirts into costuming by way of attaching things or painting things on them or something like that. All that amazing art I've seen in the archives seems to me would inspire a lot of people to get creative!
For myself, I don't plan on just going naked, I want to do the body paint thing. I never have and always wanted to.
And I want to meet Lydia Love. I love you already, Lydia!
Life is not a journey with the aim of finishing in one well preserved piece. You should skid in sideways in a cloud of dust, all sweaty and worn out, yelling, "Hot Damn! What a ride!"
desertmac
 
Posts: 10
Joined: Tue Mar 09, 2004 1:23 am
Location: desert hot springs, ca

Postby Zephryus » Thu Mar 11, 2004 10:29 pm

Damn. I seem to have wound up on the wrong side of the revolution. Lydia, you won't catch me being anything but stark raving naked, although I will gladly wear anything you bring. Hell, I'll even pole dance in it. Apoloigies for the smart-assery.

But pantzookas are still 31 flavors of AWESOME!
User avatar
Zephryus
 
Posts: 208
Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2004 8:06 am
Location: On A Goddamn Boat

Postby Lydia Love » Fri Mar 12, 2004 12:43 am

Good.
I talked to Adrian last night.
He wants it for Piss Clear.


OK...

When do I have to have it written by and what the heck do I do with it when I have?
It's all about the squirrels.
User avatar
Lydia Love
 
Posts: 1569
Joined: Mon Sep 01, 2003 8:01 pm
Location: Seattle

Postby desertmac » Fri Mar 12, 2004 1:28 am

LaChatNoir, I'll gladly join in the Frankenstienien Mob and throw only liederhosen at them. I know, I know, but there's bound to be some around. If not, we can always throw sarongs at them. I just think liederhosen would make a bigger impact. Viva la revolution!
And Zephryus, you're cute enough to be forgiven for the smartassery. <snicker> :oops:
Life is not a journey with the aim of finishing in one well preserved piece. You should skid in sideways in a cloud of dust, all sweaty and worn out, yelling, "Hot Damn! What a ride!"
desertmac
 
Posts: 10
Joined: Tue Mar 09, 2004 1:23 am
Location: desert hot springs, ca

Postby Zephryus » Fri Mar 12, 2004 4:11 am

Aw, gosh, thanks Desertmac. You're makin' me blush. :P And your point about the practicality of shirt wearing is well taken.
Oh, and Lydia, It might interest you to know that I've never come across a ballgown in my size. Or, for that matter, a chicken suit. You do keep your promises, right?
User avatar
Zephryus
 
Posts: 208
Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2004 8:06 am
Location: On A Goddamn Boat

Postby III » Fri Mar 12, 2004 9:25 am

>>liederhosen

song pants?
User avatar
III
 
Posts: 1510
Joined: Thu Aug 07, 2003 10:14 pm

Postby LeChatNoir » Fri Mar 12, 2004 11:49 am

Heh Heh Heh... I suppose they would be song pants, wouldn't they? Love those typos... :wink:

And yes, desertmac, I'd bet lederhosen would pack a better "Whomp". Though if I get my so-wrongs made up (and I will), I'll probably be hesitant to get rid of them in such a manor. Don't know if'n I'll be naked or not... depends on the moment I suppose. My Northern European skin is so sun friendly :) . Eh, well... I tan ok on the neck and arms though...

I am not, I say NOT planning on wearing any of those constricting two legged pant things while there (unless maybe they're like loungy-type and loose fitting, but even then it won't be for long). Kilts and sarongs are my lower garments of first choice for my playa wanderings. Although... a loincloth could be alright too...
User avatar
LeChatNoir
 
Posts: 5887
Joined: Mon Sep 01, 2003 8:52 am
Location: Louisville, Ky

Postby unjonharley » Fri Mar 12, 2004 12:27 pm

Just came in the house from catching my first rays. I have a nice pink glow. "nuf fun"
I'm the contraptioneer your mother warned you about.
User avatar
unjonharley
 
Posts: 10021
Joined: Tue Sep 09, 2003 11:05 am
Location: Salem Or.

Postby calsur » Fri Mar 12, 2004 10:05 pm

LaChatNoir said:

Hell... I might just starch my kilt so that it sticks straight out 360 degrees and looks like I’m stuck halfway through a pleated cloth satellite dish.

LaChatNoir, do not do it! I have no comment on the ascetics but starch and the desert do not mix. First, it melts and acts as a lube where it touch’s your skin. Then it runs down your legs and glue all body hair encountered together. Including the ass crack hair. It gives a whole new meaning to "bad hair day" when you squat to take a dump and self scalp half your ass. I have been there and done that, please learn from my experience
User avatar
calsur
 
Posts: 322
Joined: Thu Jan 22, 2004 11:15 pm
Location: Eureka, CA

Postby Zephryus » Sat Mar 13, 2004 12:39 am

Calsur, you win the Worst Mental Image of the Day award. Yeesh.
User avatar
Zephryus
 
Posts: 208
Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2004 8:06 am
Location: On A Goddamn Boat

Postby calsur » Sat Mar 13, 2004 12:58 am

Must not been trying hard enough if I only win one day.

But the message is real.
User avatar
calsur
 
Posts: 322
Joined: Thu Jan 22, 2004 11:15 pm
Location: Eureka, CA

Postby LeChatNoir » Sat Mar 13, 2004 7:32 am

OH.. MY... GOD......

Ok, not starch. That was only a silly comment anyway... I would never do such a thing to such a fine garment. But I’m glad you posted this, incase someone did decide to do such a thing. eegads... I feel your pain.
User avatar
LeChatNoir
 
Posts: 5887
Joined: Mon Sep 01, 2003 8:52 am
Location: Louisville, Ky

Postby RingO'Fire » Sat Mar 13, 2004 6:40 pm

calsur wrote:LaChatNoir said:
It gives a whole new meaning to "bad hair day" when you squat to take a dump and self scalp half your ass.


Note to self...leave starch at home! I once wiped my ass with poison ivy when I was a wee lad a shittin' in the woods. You can imagine the ramifications...I had to put calamine lotion up my crack for two weeks. Still, I'm not sure which would be worse, a really short burst of intense ass crack pain or two weeks of itchy scratchy annoying pain in the ass. "hmmm...which kind of ass pain WOULD I prefer?...hmmm"
...but it seemed like such a good idea at the time...
User avatar
RingO'Fire
 
Posts: 979
Joined: Mon Mar 01, 2004 4:00 am
Location: Chattanooga

Postby Badger » Sat Mar 13, 2004 11:02 pm

I once wiped my ass with poison ivy when I was a wee lad a shittin' in the woods.


LOL.

Do you do children's parties?
.
Desert dogs drink deep.

Image
.
User avatar
Badger
 
Posts: 3322
Joined: Thu Sep 04, 2003 2:43 pm
Location: San Francisco

Postby RingO'Fire » Sun Mar 14, 2004 8:35 am

Badger wrote:
I once wiped my ass with poison ivy when I was a wee lad a shittin' in the woods.


LOL.

Do you do children's parties?


Sure...if the price is right! What shall I do to entertain the little rascals? Wipe poison ivy up my ass or self-scalp my ass? Hey...wait a minute.....maybe I could do the ivy-wiping....and then for the grand finale, "Watch this kids! Now I'm gonna scalp my ass..."

"Ass" I just like saying that. Though I think my favorite eplaya vocabulary word is "thingie."
...but it seemed like such a good idea at the time...
User avatar
RingO'Fire
 
Posts: 979
Joined: Mon Mar 01, 2004 4:00 am
Location: Chattanooga

Postby calsur » Mon Mar 15, 2004 2:25 am

If you think ripping all the hair off an inner ass cheek goes away in 15 minutes, your nuts.

And now, a fairly brief explanation on how I scalped my own ass.

I was in the US Army at the time at Fort Bragg, North Carolina, in March of 85. For those of you who have not been blessed with being in the Army, Fort Bragg is the biggest collection of anal retentive assholes on the planet. Its called Airborne. And Airborne is real big on inspections of your equipment, including uniforms, to make sure you are QUOTE "World Wide Deployable" on 24 hours notice. So if you have half a brain, you keep an inspection set of uniforms and what you wear day to day. The inspection set, you starch the hell out of and put them on hangers while they are still hot. After that, you do not wear them, you DUST them.

So I get back from over seas. I have been gone for 3 months. I am suppose to have 3 days before I am deployable again. 12 hours later, I get shipped out. The only clean uniforms I have are the heavily starched inspection set. Pack and go.

To Nellis Air Force base outside of Vegas. 95 to a 100 degrees in the shade and there is no shade. I fix the problem that I was sent to fix outside and then go into a 65 degree building. 2 hours later everyone is happy and I have lunch and then try to take a dump. The rest is history.

And just for the record, the half cheek thing was my best guess at an average. Both cheeks were involved.

And I will not even go into how long it took to separate the penis from the scrotal sack.
User avatar
calsur
 
Posts: 322
Joined: Thu Jan 22, 2004 11:15 pm
Location: Eureka, CA

Postby Zephryus » Mon Mar 15, 2004 3:02 am

Oh. Sweet. GOD.
Calsur, you have outdone yourself. I physically cringed and whimpered at the thought of yanking my penis off of my glued up ball sack. If you didn't pass out, you have my respect, and my official "worst mental image posted since I signed onto this board", i.e. worst mental image of the week. Ye gods. You've raised the bar for us all.
User avatar
Zephryus
 
Posts: 208
Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2004 8:06 am
Location: On A Goddamn Boat

Attentshun!!!

Postby Last Real Burner » Mon Mar 15, 2004 8:38 am

Image Alright you maggots, back in line before I bust ya down to buck privates. Drop and give me fifty!

basically,
mr smith
"Do you know what happened to the boy who got everything he wished for? - He lived happily ever after".
User avatar
Last Real Burner
 
Posts: 943
Joined: Mon Sep 01, 2003 9:34 am
Location: Heaven

Postby RingO'Fire » Mon Mar 15, 2004 11:28 am

Dude! Ouch! You win. My little poison-ivy-in-the-ass experience is not worthy of even being mentioned in the same ass pain category as your experience. My asscrack and nutsack hurt just thinking about it. I laughed out loud and then cringed in pain. They definately should've given you a purple heart for that one.
...but it seemed like such a good idea at the time...
User avatar
RingO'Fire
 
Posts: 979
Joined: Mon Mar 01, 2004 4:00 am
Location: Chattanooga

Postby III » Mon Mar 15, 2004 11:54 am

i think it might be time to start work on a "we'll hot glue your dick to your scrotum for barter" camp.
User avatar
III
 
Posts: 1510
Joined: Thu Aug 07, 2003 10:14 pm

Postby SwitchbladeButterfly » Mon Mar 15, 2004 12:27 pm

calsur wrote:If you think ripping all the hair off an inner ass cheek goes away in 15 minutes, your nuts.


- am I the only one having Breakfast Club flashbacks?

:wink:
User avatar
SwitchbladeButterfly
 
Posts: 22
Joined: Fri Feb 27, 2004 9:01 am
Location: All in your mind, honey...

Postby danman » Mon Mar 15, 2004 12:37 pm

Greetings silver-you stated that a couple plopped down next to you in a dome and started a great makeout session. It reminds me of a perosnal experience. My wife and i were wandering about on an especially windy day and duked into a dome for shelter. It was quiet and filled with lounge pillows and fotuns. We layed down and wrapped our arms about one another. Soon our embrace turned to passionate kissing. There were a few people nearby, but i specifically remember one male. i don't know if we were the couple, it doesn't matter, it is just good to know that others can share in an exchange of love and passion just by watching-that's the type of porn worth seeing.

danman
danman
 
Posts: 5
Joined: Fri Mar 12, 2004 9:55 am

Postby RingO'Fire » Tue Mar 16, 2004 5:08 pm

III wrote:i think it might be time to start work on a "we'll hot glue your dick to your scrotum for barter" camp.


Brilliant! I'd suggest contact cement. Or maybe super glue.

Wait a minute! :o , I've got an idea for a theme camp! How 'bout "Brazilian Bikini Wax Camp!?" All of us with a slightly sadistic bent could spend days inflicting pain on others, by ripping out ass hair, cunt hair, scrote hair, pubes, etc. to our heart's delight! We'll pull them in by telling them how absolutely BEAUTIFUL their hairless bodies will be. "You just wait sweetheart, you will look SO hot!" I LOVE it! Anyone know where I can get 5-gallon buckets of bikini wax?
...but it seemed like such a good idea at the time...
User avatar
RingO'Fire
 
Posts: 979
Joined: Mon Mar 01, 2004 4:00 am
Location: Chattanooga

Postby theCryptofishist » Tue Mar 16, 2004 5:12 pm

Ha! all you'll get are me, all the other cheerfully hirsute women, all our friends in fur coats and all our male supporters and admirers protesting outside this camp for hours.

Wax your own darn self!
User avatar
theCryptofishist
 
Posts: 40001
Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2004 10:28 am
Location: In Exile
Burning Since: 2017

Postby RingO'Fire » Tue Mar 16, 2004 6:31 pm

theCryptofishist wrote:Wax your own darn self!


I love hirsute women! As you can see from my avatar, I'm a fairly hairy guy myself. Hell, my first name is "Harry" (no shit!). I'm not advocating involuntary waxing, but would just try to persuade the unsure or slightly reluctant to come on in and "give it a try." The fact that I'm a hairy motherfucker myself would just add to the irony. I could be kind of like the deceptive carnival barker trying to lure you into a rigged carnival game.

Ah, yes, I can see it now..."Step right up folks, get your nether regions waxed! Clean as a whistle in no time at all! Hardly any pain a'tall! Impress your friends and loved ones with your new hairless look! Be the first one on your block! Wait!, There's more folks!, For no extra charge, we'll hot glue your privates together in any configuration that suits you..." I have to admit though, the thought of getting my hands anywhere near someone's sweaty, six-day-in-the-desert, dingleberry encrusted ass makes me cringe. Maybe I could just be the pied piper and get some sadistic low brow minions to do the actual asshole hair ripping.

Let me ask your opinion, Ms. CryptoHairyTuna. Scrotums...shaved or au naturel n' hairy? I'm trying to determine the consensus opinion on this matter, if there is one, before I "take things into my own hands" so to speak. Your feedback would be appreciated.
...but it seemed like such a good idea at the time...
User avatar
RingO'Fire
 
Posts: 979
Joined: Mon Mar 01, 2004 4:00 am
Location: Chattanooga

Postby Alpha » Tue Mar 16, 2004 7:20 pm

for god's sakes, man, it's just too risky to put a razor to your scrotum. just keep things trimmed so your ball sack doesn't look like a chia pet.
User avatar
Alpha
 
Posts: 766
Joined: Fri Sep 26, 2003 4:55 pm

Postby unjonharley » Tue Mar 16, 2004 8:17 pm

Alpha wrote:for god's sakes, man, it's just too risky to put a razor to your scrotum. just keep things trimmed so your ball sack doesn't look like a chia pet.


/
Can we get an Amen?
I'm the contraptioneer your mother warned you about.
User avatar
unjonharley
 
Posts: 10021
Joined: Tue Sep 09, 2003 11:05 am
Location: Salem Or.

Postby unjonharley » Tue Mar 16, 2004 8:17 pm

Alpha wrote:for god's sakes, man, it's just too risky to put a razor to your scrotum. just keep things trimmed so your ball sack doesn't look like a chia pet.


/
Can we get an Amen?
I'm the contraptioneer your mother warned you about.
User avatar
unjonharley
 
Posts: 10021
Joined: Tue Sep 09, 2003 11:05 am
Location: Salem Or.

Postby III » Tue Mar 16, 2004 8:56 pm

>>too risky to put a razor to your scrotum

you've never actually tried it, have you?
User avatar
III
 
Posts: 1510
Joined: Thu Aug 07, 2003 10:14 pm

PreviousNext

Return to Q & A Tips and Tricks

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests